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Post by whyisitso on Jul 12, 2015 23:03:53 GMT -5
Roselyn Thank you for finally confirming that in the 25 years of your mother's married life you did nothing about the abuse. I stand by my statement that having been attempting to find fault or lay blame for this on workers if you can find a way to do it. You are welcome to disagree with my this post; that is what a forum is for. I am unconcerned if you or any other now seek to mock, slate and belittle me. Such from you is 'water off a duck's back' to me I stand by the statements I have made in this post. Can you please answer my question I asked on the other thread? Did you get dropped on your head when you were a baby?
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Post by Roselyn T on Jul 12, 2015 23:09:01 GMT -5
Roselyn Thank you for finally confirming that in the 25 years of your mother's married life you did nothing about the abuse. I stand by my statement that having been attempting to find fault or lay blame for this on workers if you can find a way to do it. You are welcome to disagree with my this post; that is what a forum is for. I am unconcerned if you or any other now seek to mock, slate and belittle me. Such from you is 'water off a duck's back' to me I stand by the statements I have made in this post. Review you have shown your arrogance & ignorance by this post. Also please show me where I blamed the F&W church ? You are so ignorant that you don't even stop for one minute & think about what you are saying, all your concern is about is that I might blame the F&W Church ! How dare you say I did nothing about my mothers abuse ! Did you live my life Review ? Do you understand what it does to a child to see their mother being beaten ?
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Post by Roselyn T on Jul 12, 2015 23:10:07 GMT -5
Roselyn Thank you for finally confirming that in the 25 years of your mother's married life you did nothing about the abuse. I stand by my statement that having been attempting to find fault or lay blame for this on workers if you can find a way to do it. You are welcome to disagree with my this post; that is what a forum is for. I am unconcerned if you or any other now seek to mock, slate and belittle me. Such from you is 'water off a duck's back' to me I stand by the statements I have made in this post.
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Post by whyisitso on Jul 12, 2015 23:25:45 GMT -5
Can you please answer my question I asked on the other thread? Did you get dropped on your head when you were a baby? ask your witchdoctor or clairvoyant next time you see her! My clairvoyant says 'There is trouble ahead for Review from his superiors if he doesn't stop being such a nasty man on TMB. She says the trouble will go away if he stops being mean to people as his form of defence. She says Review is really just like a sad little boy' Interestingly she had nothing to say about you being dropped on your head… That's just my guess
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Post by maryhig on Jul 12, 2015 23:37:08 GMT -5
Roselyn Thank you for finally confirming that in the 25 years of your mother's married life you did nothing about the abuse. I stand by my statement that having been attempting to find fault or lay blame for this on workers if you can find a way to do it. You are welcome to disagree with my this post; that is what a forum is for. I am unconcerned if you or any other now seek to mock, slate and belittle me. Such from you is 'water off a duck's back' to me I stand by the statements I have made in this post. I don't think it's right to say that Roslyn didn't do anything about her mother's abuse. It's very hard in that situation to know what to do. If you haven't lived it you won't understand. It's easy to stand on the outside and say, you should do this or you should have done that. But it's totally different when you live with someone violent and abusive. It's a living hell!
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Post by dmmichgood on Jul 12, 2015 23:52:29 GMT -5
Bluster and abuse and do all you like Oh my, oh my! -goodness gracious! why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
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Post by rational on Jul 13, 2015 0:26:27 GMT -5
Roselyn Thank you for finally confirming that in the 25 years of your mother's married life you did nothing about the abuse. I stand by my statement that having been attempting to find fault or lay blame for this on workers if you can find a way to do it. You are welcome to disagree with my this post; that is what a forum is for. I am unconcerned if you or any other now seek to mock, slate and belittle me. Such from you is 'water off a duck's back' to me I stand by the statements I have made in this post. Can you point to a post that Roselyn T made where she placed the blame for her mother's abuse on the workers?
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Post by maryhig on Jul 13, 2015 0:30:46 GMT -5
I don't think it's right to say that Roslyn didn't do anything about her mother's abuse. It's very hard in that situation to know what to do. If you haven't lived it you won't understand. It's easy to stand on the outside and say, you should do this or you should have done that. But it's totally different when you live with someone violent and abusive. It's a living hell! Maryhig Appreciate your input to the thread, it is a refreshing and pleasant change to the foolish and abusive posts that others have made. You are quite right in what you say. I have no knowledge of what Roslyn did or didn't do. What I find despicable is the evidence I see of her once again seeking to find fault in workers in the matter of her family domestic violence. If you wish to take the time to trace back through her posting it is clear that this is what she is aiming at; the conclusion she wants to come to. I am very sorry that she had domestic violence in her family life. She sure doesn't do anything for herself or her family by now seeing if she can find fault with the workers in the matter! That is the reason I asked her what she; one who knew about it had done about it in the 25 years. As I've said it was a bad decision to respond to her request to participate. She knows I am a worker and I could see from the beginning she was seeking to trap me in my words Review, I don't know anything about your workers. So when I say this it's truly not personal. Your people that I have spoken to here are sincere and they have very similar beliefs to my beliefs in God and I have a closeness to them. I just want to ask, if someone is abused, are they able to turn to your workers? I'm asking because of my own experiences. In our meeting, their beliefs are like yours. You marry, and marriage is for life. You try and make it work and you don't remarry and they are very strong on this. The difference I think from us to you is we would still be accepted in the meeting if we remarried but they still tell us it's wrong. But when we are told and spoken to, then it is left in Gods hands. The reason I'm saying this is that because of the way we believe, I felt I had to stay in a severely abusive marriage and try and make it work I started getting abused at 17 by my husband and I didn't know what to do, because I was so young. And I mean severely abusive in many ways! And I couldn't tell anyone. Because I thought that if I left. I was going against God. So I stayed and put up with it and kept my mouth shut. Because of this, he went worse, knowing my beliefs and knowing I wouldn't talk or leave him he had a green light to go and do what he wanted. I lived in hell! He was good to me until we married, and it began when I got pregnant! I eventually left. And yes I did marry again and I have left that in Gods hands to deal with as he knows my heart. But I wish I had of had someone to talk to. Someone who i wasn't emotionally attached to. And for your people that would be a worker with compassion. Which I'm sure many of your workers have. If you could only see how a persons heart feels when they go through this type of suffering then your heart would melt and one thing my years with my ex husband has given me is empathy, and I don't judge others. Because when I left him, I was the talk if the town, he told the world how bad I was. I never said a word about him because I believed it was wrong. A couple of years ago he said sorry for what he did, as he has been through a bad time himself now, (although I would not have wished that upon him), and I've forgiven him. I prayed constantly to God to save me and he did. I now feel that my experiences have probably made me a better person. But, if I hadn't have known God, I may not have been here today! So please if you ever come across this type of abuse, or any other. Open your heart and listen and care, I wish I had of had someone to talk to!
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Post by Mary on Jul 13, 2015 0:36:18 GMT -5
The general rule has been that those who get remarried are not allowed to take the emblems for one year, 2 or a life time. Remarriage is a big no no no matter what the reason.
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Post by maryhig on Jul 13, 2015 1:07:15 GMT -5
The general rule has been that those who get remarried are not allowed to take the emblems for one year, 2 or a life time. Remarriage is a big no no no matter what the reason. And I understand that, and that's they're beliefs. I'm Stronger in God now and I know it is a sin to remarry, it is a sin to even look at another person in a lustful way. But as i said i have left that in Gods hands. And I doubt I would do it again. Because my love for God is stronger now. I didn't know God then like I do now. But I still sinned! But there is also another adultary. And that's turning from God and loving the idols and lusts of the world before him!
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Post by rational on Jul 13, 2015 1:19:23 GMT -5
I don't think it's right to say that Roslyn didn't do anything about her mother's abuse. It's very hard in that situation to know what to do. If you haven't lived it you won't understand. It's easy to stand on the outside and say, you should do this or you should have done that. But it's totally different when you live with someone violent and abusive. It's a living hell! Maryhig Appreciate your input to the thread, it is a refreshing and pleasant change to the foolish and abusive posts that others have made. You are quite right in what you say. I have no knowledge of what Roslyn did or didn't do. What I find despicable is the evidence I see of her once again seeking to find fault in workers in the matter of her family domestic violence. If you wish to take the time to trace back through her posting it is clear that this is what she is aiming at; the conclusion she wants to come to. I am very sorry that she had domestic violence in her family life. She sure doesn't do anything for herself or her family by now seeing if she can find fault with the workers in the matter! That is the reason I asked her what she; one who knew about it had done about it in the 25 years. As I've said it was a bad decision to respond to her request to participate. She knows I am a worker and I could see from the beginning she was seeking to trap me in my words Again, I haven't seen what you are claiming. She grew up in what surly would be called a dysfunctional family. The continual abuse on the part of a parent meant that other members of the family had little choice but to accommodate the abnormal behavior. At some point the members start to believe that what is going on in their family is normal. At that point, knowing all the ramifications of confronting such behavior, the behavior continues unchecked.
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Post by fred on Jul 13, 2015 1:36:01 GMT -5
The general rule has been that those who get remarried are not allowed to take the emblems for one year, 2 or a life time. Remarriage is a big no no no matter what the reason. That would be a fairly liberal approach Mary - being excluded from any part in the meeting is more normal, and this ban usually stands while ever the offending marriage exists. The most liberal approach is in Eastern US where usually folks are allowed full participation 'privileges'.
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Post by Roselyn T on Jul 13, 2015 2:40:24 GMT -5
Review you have shown your arrogance & ignorance by this post. Also please show me where I blamed the F&W church ? You are so ignorant that you don't even stop for one minute & think about what you are saying, all your concern is about is that I might blame the F&W Church ! How dare you say I did nothing about my mothers abuse ! Did you live my life Review ? Do you understand what it does to a child to see their mother being beaten ? I won't be responding any further to your abusive posts. I stand by the statements I have made. a)The fact that you asked me to participate on this thread b)That you later asked me about an abuser being allowed by workers to take the emblems are just two of the number of reasons that I state that you are/were searching for some way to lay blame for a domestic situation on the workers. You invited/requested me to participate on this thread and with this post my participation concludes. I was foolish to even begin participating. My experience has been that it is not possible to have a rational sensible discussion with you. I'm sorry but this is my experience. Bluster and abuse and do all you like, I have no more to say. wishes Review, excuse me ! My abusive posts ! You are the one that has accused me of not doing anything to help my mother ! I was 4 YEARS OLD when it first happened Review ! My parents were married for 6 years before I was born, they separated when I was 18 at which point my mother moved out of the family home, then lived with me & my ex husband for the next 9 years, so how dare you say I did nothing ! At what age do you propose I should have gone to the Police, Review ? You have no understanding of abuse or how children feel in a home where there is DV. Also I will repeat at NO TIME have I blamed the F&W Church. I asked you what you as a Minister of the F&W church would do if you knew someone was being abused, I also asked at what point does DV become a matter for The Church ? All you are concerned about is that I might blame the F&W Church, you show no compassion or understanding of this situation. As far as having a rational sensible discussion, do you not understand how it makes the victim of DV feel when you say "You should have reported it" I was a child !
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Post by Mary on Jul 13, 2015 3:21:41 GMT -5
No wonder people do not feel they can go to workers about anything as they will only get abused again.
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Post by Mary on Jul 13, 2015 3:28:14 GMT -5
I have no problem with remarriage having remarried myself. I believe that God does not expect a woman to stay in an abusive marriage. As my husband said, "but she left the marriage"! My pastor wisely said, "you left the marriage the first time you hit her".
Jesus said they can divorce in cases of fornication and I also believe that God would allow it in cases of domestic abuse. Emotional abuse is just as bad, if not more, destructive than physical abuse. Emotional abuse goes with physical abuse too. Jesus would not say divorce if it wasn't to set the person free to remarry. He would just say leave.
I'm not sure what happens to a man if he commits fornication as all the verses about divorce that Jesus spoke relate to a man divorcing his wife. Could a woman not divorce her husband like still is the case in some Muslim countries today.
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Post by maryhig on Jul 13, 2015 4:18:20 GMT -5
I have no problem with remarriage having remarried myself. I believe that God does not expect a woman to stay in an abusive marriage. As my husband said, "but she left the marriage"! My pastor wisely said, "you left the marriage the first time you hit her". Jesus said they can divorce in cases of fornication and I also believe that God would allow it in cases of domestic abuse. Emotional abuse is just as bad, if not more, destructive than physical abuse. Emotional abuse goes with physical abuse too. Jesus would not say divorce if it wasn't to set the person free to remarry. He would just say leave. I'm not sure what happens to a man if he commits fornication as all the verses about divorce that Jesus spoke relate to a man divorcing his wife. Could a woman not divorce her husband like still is the case in some Muslim countries today. I have said in the past, that I signed up for a marriage of love, looking after eachother through whatever. But I didn't sign for a marriage of continual severe physical and mental abuse and affairs! That's why, I leave it in Gods hands. I like what your pastor said. No one has the right to physically abuse another. And I know in my heart I tried my hardest to make it work. But I couldn't let my children grow up in that environment. I think the problem though is in the remarriage not the leaving. As I said God knows our hearts and I leave that with him.
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Post by rational on Jul 13, 2015 7:53:15 GMT -5
]Rat, of course Review005 won't be able to point to a post where Roselyn has placed the blame for her mother's abuse on the workers. It doesn't exist. But it's the same old tactic - Roselyn tells the story about her Mum and also asks questions about how workers respond to Domestic Violence. All of a sudden Review005 conjoins the two independent statements and, voila, we have the following concoction "What I find despicable is the evidence I see of her once again seeking to find fault in workers in the matter of her family domestic violence.." I wonder why he does it? I wonder what his objective is on TMB? :) I was willing to give @review005 the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he misread the post(s) and arrived at the conclusion he did and, once the post is identified, the situation will be clear. I can't throw too many stones - I once responded several times to the wrong person!
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Post by maryhig on Jul 13, 2015 8:50:05 GMT -5
Rational, You know I appreciate your voice of sense amidst much nonsense on this forum. You ask a valid question of me and I'll attempt to answer it. Why do I state that I feel this poster is trying to attach blame or fault for her dysfunctional domestic situation on 'the workers' she opened with Just to clarify, I did not say domestic violence is the norm in the F&W Church, what I did say was domestic violence was the norm in my home as a child.
But is domestic violence that does happen in the F&W looked at the same as CSA by the workers ? Is it something that has been brushed under the mat ?
I responded with: Domestic violence and CSA according to the definition in law statutes are criminal offences. Criminal matters need to be dealt with by the law. Where I work workers advise friends who are victims of crime to report the crime to law authorities.I should never have even opened dialogue with her. She opened with the offensive comment that CSA is brushed under the carpet and then goes on to suggest workers may do the same about dom abuse. It society generally CSA was at time not dealt with correctly in decades and generations past. Where I work this is most certainly not the case now. Her opening comment which I consider offensive, provocative and incorrect was not a good start. She isn't happy with the answer I give above and asks more niggling questions coming finally to "Review, seeing as you think I don't understand boundaries and appropriate conduct of a minister in domestic matters, can you please explain them. That is what I have been asking all along. Another question I have is if you knew/suspected a man was abusing his wife would he be "stood down" in the meeting from taking part of the emblems?"I am very cautious with her as I have found her to be a difficult and contentious poster so I answered "It is wrong for a Minister to get involved in a domestic dispute/matter unless he is approached by one of the parties. Regarding your 2nd question. I feel no need to answer that question; you are not a member of our church. If/when you do become a member again ask your local workers about it."I feel she was trying to trap me in my words. To the second question if I had answered 'yes', then she would likely have come back with: "Well why didn't that happen to my father' If I had answered 'no' she would have squealed with how wrong the worker are. A 'no win' siutation for me. So that is the basis of my statement that she is trying to involve or attach fault or blame to workers for the sad domestic situation in her family. To summarize: My personal conviction regarding domestic abuse are as follows: Domestic violence and CSA according to the definition in law statutes are criminal offences. Criminal matters need to be dealt with by the law. Where I work workers advise friends who are victims of crime to report the crime to law authorities. It is abhorrent to me for a man to abuse a woman; particularly physically. As a worker if I am aware of such a situation if it is in any way appropriate and possible I would seek to do what I could. It's good to see that you would do what you could if someone was being abused, and that you would be supportive towards a woman dealing with domestic violence. It's good that your people can turn to you
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Post by rational on Jul 13, 2015 9:25:18 GMT -5
Why do I state that I feel this poster is trying to attach blame or fault for her dysfunctional domestic situation on 'the workers' she opened with Just to clarify, I did not say domestic violence is the norm in the F&W Church, what I did say was domestic violence was the norm in my home as a child.
But is domestic violence that does happen in the F&W looked at the same as CSA by the workers ? Is it something that has been brushed under the mat ?I believe you are suggesting that the claim was that the workers were responsible. I think the question was would the workers have reported it had they known. The question was not the cause but the way it was dealt with once it was discovered. The statement that the she was raised in a strict professing house was unfortunate but I believed what she meant has been explained.
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Post by Roselyn T on Jul 13, 2015 19:52:51 GMT -5
Thank you Ross & Rational, at no time did I say I blamed the F&W Church for my mothers abuse. I asked what the F&W Church would do if they were aware of DV.
What I have an issue with is Review blaming me for not reporting my mothers abuse, when I have stated I was 4 years old the first time I witnessed it & that I moved out of home at 18 & took my mother with me, then she lived with my ex-husband & I for the next 9 years.
Then he makes a statement like this "It is abhorrent to me for a man to abuse a woman; particularly physically. As a worker if I am aware of such a situation if it is in any way appropriate and possible I would seek to do what I could."
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Post by Roselyn T on Jul 13, 2015 19:59:15 GMT -5
Rational, You know I appreciate your voice of sense amidst much nonsense on this forum. You ask a valid question of me and I'll attempt to answer it. Why do I state that I feel this poster is trying to attach blame or fault for her dysfunctional domestic situation on 'the workers' she opened with Just to clarify, I did not say domestic violence is the norm in the F&W Church, what I did say was domestic violence was the norm in my home as a child.
But is domestic violence that does happen in the F&W looked at the same as CSA by the workers ? Is it something that has been brushed under the mat ?
I responded with: Domestic violence and CSA according to the definition in law statutes are criminal offences. Criminal matters need to be dealt with by the law. Where I work workers advise friends who are victims of crime to report the crime to law authorities.I should never have even opened dialogue with her. She opened with the offensive comment that CSA is brushed under the carpet and then goes on to suggest workers may do the same about dom abuse. It society generally CSA was at time not dealt with correctly in decades and generations past. Where I work this is most certainly not the case now. Her opening comment which I consider offensive, provocative and incorrect was not a good start. She isn't happy with the answer I give above and asks more niggling questions coming finally to "Review, seeing as you think I don't understand boundaries and appropriate conduct of a minister in domestic matters, can you please explain them. That is what I have been asking all along. Another question I have is if you knew/suspected a man was abusing his wife would he be "stood down" in the meeting from taking part of the emblems?"I am very cautious with her as I have found her to be a difficult and contentious poster so I answered "It is wrong for a Minister to get involved in a domestic dispute/matter unless he is approached by one of the parties. Regarding your 2nd question. I feel no need to answer that question; you are not a member of our church. If/when you do become a member again ask your local workers about it."I feel she was trying to trap me in my words. To the second question if I had answered 'yes', then she would likely have come back with: "Well why didn't that happen to my father' If I had answered 'no' she would have squealed with how wrong the worker are. A 'no win' siutation for me. So that is the basis of my statement that she is trying to involve or attach fault or blame to workers for the sad domestic situation in her family. To summarize: My personal conviction regarding domestic abuse are as follows: Domestic violence and CSA according to the definition in law statutes are criminal offences. Criminal matters need to be dealt with by the law. Where I work workers advise friends who are victims of crime to report the crime to law authorities. It is abhorrent to me for a man to abuse a woman; particularly physically. As a worker if I am aware of such a situation if it is in any way appropriate and possible I would seek to do what I could. Review if it so abhorrent to you, why would you tell a victim of DV who was a child at the time, that they should have reported it ? Again you have shown your lack of understanding of DV.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2015 2:51:21 GMT -5
Rational, You know I appreciate your voice of sense amidst much nonsense on this forum. You ask a valid question of me and I'll attempt to answer it. Why do I state that I feel this poster is trying to attach blame or fault for her dysfunctional domestic situation on 'the workers' she opened with Just to clarify, I did not say domestic violence is the norm in the F&W Church, what I did say was domestic violence was the norm in my home as a child.
But is domestic violence that does happen in the F&W looked at the same as CSA by the workers ? Is it something that has been brushed under the mat ?
I responded with: Domestic violence and CSA according to the definition in law statutes are criminal offences. Criminal matters need to be dealt with by the law. Where I work workers advise friends who are victims of crime to report the crime to law authorities.I should never have even opened dialogue with her. She opened with the offensive comment that CSA is brushed under the carpet and then goes on to suggest workers may do the same about dom abuse. It society generally CSA was at time not dealt with correctly in decades and generations past. Where I work this is most certainly not the case now. Her opening comment which I consider offensive, provocative and incorrect was not a good start. She isn't happy with the answer I give above and asks more niggling questions coming finally to "Review, seeing as you think I don't understand boundaries and appropriate conduct of a minister in domestic matters, can you please explain them. That is what I have been asking all along. Another question I have is if you knew/suspected a man was abusing his wife would he be "stood down" in the meeting from taking part of the emblems?"I am very cautious with her as I have found her to be a difficult and contentious poster so I answered "It is wrong for a Minister to get involved in a domestic dispute/matter unless he is approached by one of the parties. Regarding your 2nd question. I feel no need to answer that question; you are not a member of our church. If/when you do become a member again ask your local workers about it."I feel she was trying to trap me in my words. To the second question if I had answered 'yes', then she would likely have come back with: "Well why didn't that happen to my father' If I had answered 'no' she would have squealed with how wrong the worker are. A 'no win' siutation for me. So that is the basis of my statement that she is trying to involve or attach fault or blame to workers for the sad domestic situation in her family. To summarize: My personal conviction regarding domestic abuse are as follows: Domestic violence and CSA according to the definition in law statutes are criminal offences. Criminal matters need to be dealt with by the law. Where I work workers advise friends who are victims of crime to report the crime to law authorities. It is abhorrent to me for a man to abuse a woman; particularly physically. As a worker if I am aware of such a situation if it is in any way appropriate and possible I would seek to do what I could. Review if it so abhorrent to you, why would you tell a victim of DV who was a child at the time, that they should have reported it ? Again you have shown your lack of understanding of DV. were you always a child?
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Post by maryhig on Jul 14, 2015 3:05:03 GMT -5
Review if it so abhorrent to you, why would you tell a victim of DV who was a child at the time, that they should have reported it ? Again you have shown your lack of understanding of DV. were you always a child? I think many people would find it hard to tell the police on one of their parents, because you're still their child and a part of them. Especially if your mum is asking you not to tell anyone. I think domestic violence is very complex. Because it involves emotional bonds too. Turning your father over to the police, isn't the same reporting a theft. It would be a whole lot harder, don't you think? Especially if you mum loves him and doesn't want him locked up. Which many women involved in DV do. You wouldn't believe what you will put up with in certain situations! Especially when it involves emotions! And some people are very good playing on your emotions and no matter what they do to you, you soften up and give in!
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Post by Roselyn T on Jul 14, 2015 3:09:31 GMT -5
Virgo, go back & read what I wrote a few post ago ! My parents were married for 6 years before I was born, I moved out of home at 18 or 19 & my mother came with me & lived with me & my ex-husband for the next 9 years ! What is it with some people ! Do you really think it would have been easy to go to the police ! At what age would you suggest I went to the police Virgo ? You have no idea or understanding of what it does to a child to live with domestic violence, otherwise you would not ask such a stupid question ! Do some research Virgo, instead of just repeating what Review has said !
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Post by Roselyn T on Jul 14, 2015 3:13:13 GMT -5
I think many people would find it hard to tell the police on one of their parents, because you're still their child and a part of them. Especially if your mum is asking you not to tell anyone. I think domestic violence is very complex. Because it involves emotional bonds too. Turning your father over to the police, isn't the same reporting a theft. It would be a whole lot harder, don't you think? Especially if you mum loves him and doesn't want him locked up. Which many women involved in DV do. You wouldn't believe what you will put up with in certain situations! Especially when it involves emotions! And some people are very good playing on your emotions and no matter what they do to you, you soften up and give in! Thank you Maryhig, some people have no idea and seem to think its easy "just go & report it to the police" they don't think of the fallout ! It is obvious they have never experienced living in a home where DV is the norm.
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Post by maryhig on Jul 14, 2015 3:26:37 GMT -5
I think many people would find it hard to tell the police on one of their parents, because you're still their child and a part of them. Especially if your mum is asking you not to tell anyone. I think domestic violence is very complex. Because it involves emotional bonds too. Turning your father over to the police, isn't the same reporting a theft. It would be a whole lot harder, don't you think? Especially if you mum loves him and doesn't want him locked up. Which many women involved in DV do. You wouldn't believe what you will put up with in certain situations! Especially when it involves emotions! And some people are very good playing on your emotions and no matter what they do to you, you soften up and give in! Thank you Maryhig, some people have no idea and seem to think its easy "just go & report it to the police" they don't think of the fallout ! It is obvious they have never experienced living in a home where DV is the norm. Yes, but I think people just genuinely don't understand. I remember being young and thinking women are mad putting up with a man like that. And then I did it myself. And put up with a whole lot more than you would probably believe. Once you live with someone like that and you love them, they can work with your emotions, and once the emotions are involved then it's a totally different ballgame. It must be especially hard growing up with it. I suppose people won't understand unless they've been there.
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Post by Roselyn T on Jul 14, 2015 5:53:14 GMT -5
Thank you Ross
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Post by rational on Jul 14, 2015 8:59:48 GMT -5
Thank you Maryhig, some people have no idea and seem to think its easy "just go & report it to the police" they don't think of the fallout ! It is obvious they have never experienced living in a home where DV is the norm. This is close to the definition of a dysfunctional family. The abnormal becomes the norm. Once it becomes the norm it is difficult to view it as reportable. And then there is difficulty of reporting your parents to the police and the possible consequences. I don't think there is much to be gained by asking a person over and over why they did not report their parents to the police.
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