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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:15:02 GMT -5
What do you call a person that is blind, deaf and dumb that wears glasses, hearing protection and posts nonsense on the TMB? Answer - a 2x2 Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:15:37 GMT -5
What do you call a person that still cannot see after they've been converted to their religion again and again? Answer - a 2x2 Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:17:55 GMT -5
What do you call people who lose their salvation when they quit coming to meetings except for death or sickness? Answer 2x2s Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:18:54 GMT -5
What do you call the only people who can teach stuff, call it brainwashing and produce people with dirty minds? Answer - workers Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:20:07 GMT -5
What do you call someone who sleeps in anothers bed, uses another's house, drives another's car and beg's on the street corner. Answer - No silly, a beggar. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:21:48 GMT -5
What do you call a group that sends out young men in pairs preaching their version of the gospel. Answer: No silly, JWs Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:23:42 GMT -5
Did you hear up in WA that it's against the Bible for fields to have their own workers. Yep, Now they just rent them like the halls they preach in. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:27:27 GMT -5
Why did the 2x2 keep changing the lightbulb? Answer - He couldn't see the light. Brad
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Post by nitro on Jul 29, 2007 21:34:50 GMT -5
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:42:48 GMT -5
There was a problem in the field, so the elder and his wife went to talk to one of the offenders. He listened to the first story and then told the man "You're right" They went to the second man's house and listened to his story. The elder listened intently, made a few comments and then told him "You're right. I would've done the same thing." As they drive home the elder and his wife are fairly quiet and the mood is pensive. Suddenly the wife says to her husband. "Doug, you listened to the first man and told him he was right" "Yes" says the husband. "And then we talked to the second man who is in bitter disagreement with the first man and they won't reconcile." "Yes" said the husband again. "Well, you know they both hate each other and yet you told them they were both right", she replies. He thought about it a little bit and then turns to her and smiles, "Your right" My recollection of the joke that Randy Russell told me. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:47:14 GMT -5
Ten elder workers got together at convention for preps. Soon after arriving however, they found that the out-house hole was filled up. So they held a meeting at a rented hall and 51% of the oldest one came to the decision to call the overseer. Why? Because the overseer could just dig a hole for all of them faster than anyone. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:48:56 GMT -5
What's the two secret words mastered by every overseer to calm every turmoil in any field? Answer - "Shut up!" Brad
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Post by how lame on Jul 29, 2007 21:49:27 GMT -5
Instead of allowing the world to wonder how lame brad is, he opens his mouth and removes all doubt.
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:50:24 GMT -5
How do overseers take care of workers they don't like? Answer - They send them to MT. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:51:40 GMT -5
Why didn't the younger worker preach the gospel at the rented hall? Answer - He didn't have his companion's permission ha hhaaaaaaaaaha ha Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:53:14 GMT -5
Why did the old widow die of a heart-attack but then smile and peacably go to heaven? Answer - They workers accidently left her off the field list. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:53:56 GMT -5
How do you know when you're not an ordained minister of God anymore? Answer - You go to convention and find your names not on the list. ha ha haaaa Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:55:40 GMT -5
What are the two best days in a 2x2's life? Answer - The day they professed and the day they left. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:56:44 GMT -5
What do you call a baby 2x2 wearing a bun? Answer - A baby-bunny Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:59:52 GMT -5
A 2x2 knocks on your door. You - "Take me to your leader" Them -"We have no earthly leader" You - "I thought you looked lost. What are your private doctrines?" Them - "I'm sorry but I'll have to talk to the overseer first" You - Smile. Shut the door. Brad Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 22:01:57 GMT -5
Questions to ask workers "Are you in agreement with the doctrines taught in Texas?" Him - Yes "Do you believe it's OK to divorce and remarry five times" Him - No You - "I thought you were in agreement with their doctrines" Him - "Well, we don't talk about doctrines when we get together" Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 22:02:47 GMT -5
You know you're a 2x2 when someone tells a JW joke and you laugh but then realize that could've been you they were talking about. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 22:03:26 GMT -5
Sign seen on a car "Keep Portland Weird" Bumper sticker that should go below it "Go to meetings' Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 22:06:14 GMT -5
Why did the older companion wear women's underwear to bed? Answer - Because she was a woman. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 22:07:33 GMT -5
Why did the older companion wear women's underwear to bed? Answer - So his younger companion wouldn't bother him. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 22:08:36 GMT -5
Did you know the overseers believe in equality of the sexes? Yes, All nine men believe that. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 22:14:31 GMT -5
What's the difference between a JW and a 2x2? Answer - They're spelled differently and were started by different con-men. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 22:15:21 GMT -5
Why didn't William Irvine claim that his followers were Jehovah's Witnessess? Answer - that name was already taken Brad
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