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Post by Brad Lewis on May 23, 2007 4:48:01 GMT -5
Why did the young man decide to go into the work? Answer - He didn't want to have a bad marriage like the other 2x2s. Brad
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Post by 123 on May 23, 2007 12:53:46 GMT -5
get a life. seriously. if you really didn't care, you wouldn't spend your days stirring stuff up online.
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Post by Brad Lewis on May 23, 2007 19:03:48 GMT -5
get a life. seriously. if you really didn't care, you wouldn't spend your days stirring stuff up online. If you really didn't care?? huh? I think you missed the boat on the logic thing. Here, I'll help you. Here's a name you can post with next time...1234 Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on May 24, 2007 17:14:04 GMT -5
What do you call a worker out fishing for converts? Answer - A troll. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 25, 2007 23:31:01 GMT -5
Why did the worker really test the meeting? To see if his brainwashing took. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 25, 2007 23:32:17 GMT -5
Why do workers like conventions? Because they're against church buildings. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 25, 2007 23:32:51 GMT -5
What did the convention grounds owner get for his cows this year? Answer - An air conditioner and steam kettle. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 25, 2007 23:34:06 GMT -5
What did the tree farm (and convention) owner get for his trees this year? A new PA system! Woah. [loudspeaker] "Now hear this trees. I wanna have more faith. Let's sing him number 666." Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 25, 2007 23:35:58 GMT -5
What's the overseers favorite humn number? Answer - 666 Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 25, 2007 23:40:16 GMT -5
Why do 2x2s make such horrible lawyers? Answer - Every time someone tells the truth they object. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 25, 2007 23:53:35 GMT -5
The 2x2 church, where everything right is called wrong, truth is a lie, black is white and white black. Hence they call themselves "the truth" Brad
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Post by B on Jul 26, 2007 4:01:50 GMT -5
Bump
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Post by Jim Bradley on Jul 28, 2007 8:39:24 GMT -5
Hi Brad, It was Ed Williams who I went to see and invited him back to meetings. Ed told me to investigate the truth and how it started. And so it goes I investigated and it was a slow road but I chose to leave the truth because the truth wasn't about Jesus. There still is one way..........The JESUS way......to love him and to serve him. Reading the bible.
Will be no-sign this year, My truck died, I had a senior moment, I was changing the oil and got distracted and left the oil cap off...........you shouldn't leave the oil cap off.
anyway the engine seized............does anybody have a 4cyl toyota truck for sale.....I could spend up tp 8000.00 for it
Sincerely Jim Bradley
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 28, 2007 12:35:52 GMT -5
Hi Brad, It was Ed Williams who I went to see and invited him back to meetings. Ed told me to investigate the truth and how it started. And so it goes I investigated and it was a slow road but I chose to leave the truth because the truth wasn't about Jesus. There still is one way..........The JESUS way......to love him and to serve him. Reading the bible. Will be no-sign this year, My truck died, I had a senior moment, I was changing the oil and got distracted and left the oil cap off...........you shouldn't leave the oil cap off. anyway the engine seized............does anybody have a 4cyl toyota truck for sale.....I could spend up tp 8000.00 for it Sincerely Jim Bradley Try craigslist.org. I don't know if they have listings in your town. The sign is an important witness to the cult. Do you have rental vehicles available near you? Brad
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Post by janet on Jul 28, 2007 13:51:10 GMT -5
Long Winded Worker
One Tues. night, a friend who had a large ranch went to a Gospel meeting just starting in the area. I think it was somewhere in the outback. ;D
When he entered, he saw that he and the Worker were the only ones present. The Worker asked the rancher if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The rancher said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the Worker began his sermon.
One hour passed and the Worker said to himself "well I guess I have my chance to really lay it on, besides I like to hear myself. Soon two hours pased, then two-and-a-half hours. The Worker finally finished and came down to ask the rancher how he had liked the sermon.
The rancher answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay and then force feed them to boot. You know they die that way from gas and bloating?
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Post by janet on Jul 28, 2007 13:55:58 GMT -5
Long Winded Worker The Worker gave the gospel meeting service, as usual, but this particular night, it was considerably longer than normal. Later, at the door, shaking hands with all the friends as they moved out, one man said, "Your sermon, was simply wonderful - so invigorating and inspiring and refreshing." The Worker of course, broke out in a big smile, only to hear the man add, "Why I felt like a new man when I woke up!" ;D
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Post by janet on Jul 28, 2007 14:02:58 GMT -5
Worker After Gospel Meeting After the gospel meeting a little boy told the worker, "When I grow up, I will be able to give you some money to help out." "Well, thank you," the worker replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 28, 2007 21:29:01 GMT -5
The overseer was passing a little boy with some newborn puppies. "They're professing puppies, " said the little boy to the overseer. All the workers gathered round and patted the little boy on the head. Weeks later the overseer and his worshipping workers came by to see the boy again. "The puppies are now Christian and not professing" said the little boy. The overseer was distraught and questioned the little boy, frowning he asked "You said they were professing earlier! WHy the change?" The little boy unhesitatingly replied, "Well, now they have their eyes open." Brad
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Post by ranman77007 on Jul 28, 2007 23:06:36 GMT -5
Uh huh, Water and fire both are spelled with letters that's why the air is thin. If pigs had hair then porcupines would fly. Do you really think I care about your nonChristian, illogical judgment of me? or are you wanting more attention? Brad Brad, I hate to break the news to you but pigs DO have hair. Go to the nearest farm with pigs and check it out. yes they make toothbrushes out of pig hairs... learned that in anthropolgy- strange ritual of the Nacirema. Nacirema spelled backwords is American. americans have a ritual of rubbing pig hairs in their mouths several times a day... they spelled it Nacirema to make the point. nobody in the class knew they were talking about americans instead of some jungle tribe. and i never forgot.. lying is a good teaching method.
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Post by ranman77007 on Jul 29, 2007 1:42:43 GMT -5
If you're driving to convention & you get lost, what do you do? You follow the buns. NOTE: This is based on a true story. Tharold Sylvester was not amused. maybe two stories. because it was us, on our way to el centro special mtg. follow the buns, yup.
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Post by gloryintruth on Jul 29, 2007 6:47:45 GMT -5
There once was a man who decided to show some "lost souls" the meaning of love, truth and "real Christianity".
So he purchased himself a computer, and began to write to them. "Dear Son of Satan, you are a serpent. Repent or die", he wrote to one man.
To another he said, "Your ministers are like floating on a pond. Why do you follow them? You must be insane."
And to one more he said, "You are possessed with demons. You are a bastard son of God. Burn in hell!"
After a while, this man found he was not having much of an effect on the "lost souls". He went to his mental therapist and asked, "What's wrong with these people. After all the love and truth I have shown them, they still persist in their evil ways."
"Perhaps," the therapist said gently, "You come across as being a bit uncompassionate."
The man flew into a rage, grabbed the therapist by the collar, threw him out of the window, and hurled furniture down on his mangled body.
"Up yours you stupid bugger! I didn't pay you to tell the truth."
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Post by gloryintruth on Jul 29, 2007 6:50:04 GMT -5
Question: How does a lunatic fundamentalist convert a man to heaven?
Answer: Kill him.
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Post by janet on Jul 29, 2007 14:22:17 GMT -5
Question: How does a lunatic fundamentalist convert a man to heaven? Answer: Kill him. Question: How does a lunatic fundamentalist convert a man to heaven?Answer: Stop being a lunatic fundamentalist 2x2 and come out of the dark. ;D
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Post by las logged out on Jul 29, 2007 14:29:55 GMT -5
Thanks for all the 2x2 jokes Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:10:25 GMT -5
How do you tell a worker from their followers? Answer - He wears a suit and tie. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:11:29 GMT -5
Why don't 2x2s become lawyers? Answer = A worker told them, "The law is negative" Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:12:16 GMT -5
Why don't 2x2s apply for a government office? Answer - The 2x2 followers don't have a majority vote in their town. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 29, 2007 21:13:08 GMT -5
Why don't 2x2s try to get elected to government positions? Answer - You're not supposed to mix religion and politics. Look what happened to John the Baptist. Brad
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