Spanking

[Gently]

caithleen said:

passerby said:

Is anyone here aware of any studies that have been done regarding a correlation between being spanked as a child and having conflict resolution skills and dealing with stress as an adult?

maybe you might as well look for a link with how schools no longer promote the "pass"/"fail" concept so strongly

Huh???

Is there an intelligence here that I just don't see, or did you just feel obligated to post even if it didn't have any substance?

[to passerby]

passerby said:

Is anyone here aware of any studies that have been done regarding a correlation between being spanked as a child and having conflict resolution skills and dealing with stress as an adult?

For 40 years now, I have managed a retail environment employing about 30 people. I have had to deal with all kinds of adult behavioral issues. One thing I've noticed is that adults today seem to be less capable of coping with difficult, stressful situations. I often wonder why.

I don't buy into the notion that life today is more stressful, busier, tougher, or more complicated than it used to be. (I think this idea comes from a lack of historical perspective.)

I know the way children are raised has shifted over the past couple decades and have often wondered if this doesn't have something to do with it.

I thought this thread might be a good place to toss the idea out.

Is a child who is spanked (within reason - no abuse) more likely to become a "tougher" adult - more capable of dealing with stress and conflict?

Any studies on the subject would be appreciated.

I've wondered about this too. In my experience, children that aren't spanked are more likely to have a hard time as adults dealing with things in life that don't go their way. They seem to shut down easier as if they just don't know how to deal with disappointment. They snap under pressure easier and seem to suffer more serious health effects from the stress in their life. I wonder at times if some of today's societal characteristics (school shootings, road-rage, etc.) don't find some root here.

[to caithleen]

caithleen said:

passerby said:

Is anyone here aware of any studies that have been done regarding a correlation between being spanked as a child and having conflict resolution skills and dealing with stress as an adult?

maybe you might as well look for a link with how schools no longer promote the "pass"/"fail" concept so strongly

caithleen

Oooooooooooooooooooooh.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

The unspeakably omnipotent intelligence and forethought that went into your response is destined to become one of the most lauded pieces of literary work in this century and quite possibly that to come. You have done all of elitism a service with your well-educated, well-researched, thoughtfully-inspired, and thought-provoking contribution to this thread.

Your great-great-grandchildren will be proud.

[Random Acts 0f Kindness]

Gently said:

raok said:

It is a start.

Not to be rude but what kind of start is it?

I read both articles. I saw nothing that addressed the original question. Not even close IMO.

I liked passerby's question. I thought it was an interesting point. I'd like to see someone seriously address it.

The book was the reference material.

It is documented and supports the writers views.

The articles were related to this thread, if not the specific question.

[jude]

quote:I've wondered about this too. In my experience, children that aren't spanked are more likely to have a hard time as adults dealing with things in life that don't go their way. They seem to shut down easier as if they just don't know how to deal with disappointment. They snap under pressure easier and seem to suffer more serious health effects from the stress in their life. I wonder at times if some of today's societal characteristics (school shootings, road-rage, etc.) don't find some root here.end quote.


You may be correct. I have realized as of late that because of my upbringing I am very independent. I have a strength that I am sure would not be there had my mother not beat and neglected myself and my brother.

But, have you considered that maybe the reason for the troubled youth of today may be the t.v., video games, even Disney movies ?? Have you considered that it could be that many are being raised by those that have no maternal/paternal love for them?? (daycare) Many children that are being raised in single parent homes are latch-key children. Way too much responsibility and freedom for such young minds?

I really don't know the answer's. I'm sure that there are many circumstances that have changed our youth of today.

[jude]

FYI, I do not blame single parents for doing what they have to do. If I were faced with the same circumstances, I would do whatever it took to be able to afford to raise my children. Including daycare.

[mrleo]

I've wondered about this too. In my experience, children that aren't spanked are more likely to have a hard time as adults dealing with things in life that don't go their way. They seem to shut down easier as if they just don't know how to deal with disappointment. They snap under pressure easier and seem to suffer more serious health effects from the stress in their life. I wonder at times if some of today's societal characteristics (school shootings, road-rage, etc.) don't find some root here.

I'm not sure if there is a strong case to be made either way. If I look just within my parents' families (which are fairly large on either side) -- all spanked -- there is an amazing variety of personalities and equally varying degrees of coping skills and outcomes as functional/dysfunctional adults.

With an even larger sample of my own generation, again most if not all spanked, the variation in outcomes is just as consistent.

[spanking is abuse period]

to said:

I've wondered about this too. In my experience...

Ah will you shut the rumpy pumpy up already. In your experience you only see what you want to see. Yank your head out of your asss and look at both sides then maybe you can be more objective. Because I have and I can see that no matter how much you try to justify spanking, it just isn't right. It's abuse. Period.

Spanking parents are right up there with the child-molesters and other monsters roaming our planet. They belong in jail.

If you cruel sadistic spanking fans don't stop abusing your children, expect a knock on your door from the police. I'll see to it.

[TJ]

raok said:

Irwin A. Hyman, The Case Against Spanking: How to Discipline Your Child Without Hitting, (1997)

This was required reading for me in college. It's been four years, but I don't recall it addressing this aspect of stress in adulthood.

Stress as a driving force behind punishment? Yes.

Stress coping skills in spanked children once they reach adulthood? No.

In fact, I cannot recall ever hearing anything one way or the other with regard to spanking and its effects on coping skills in adulthood.

Interesting topic. Looking forward to more.

[Random Acts 0f Kindness]

TJ said:

raok said:

Irwin A. Hyman, The Case Against Spanking: How to Discipline Your Child Without Hitting, (1997)

This was required reading for me in college. It's been four years, but I don't recall it addressing this aspect of stress in adulthood.

Stress as a driving force behind punishment? Yes.

Stress coping skills in spanked children once they reach adulthood? No.

In fact, I cannot recall ever hearing anything one way or the other with regard to spanking and its effects on coping skills in adulthood.

Interesting topic. Looking forward to more.

I have not seen the exact study that was mentioned but I think you can extrapolate from the data that has been collected.

For example this is an excerpt from Beating the devil out of them: Corporal punishment in American families and its effects on children

"...in the longer run, spanking has no measurable beneficial effects at all, and is associated with a variety of long term negative effects. The more children are spanked, the more they assault siblings and other children. The more children are spanked, the more their rates of age-adjusted antisocial behavior increase over time. Spanking in childhood is associated with higher levels of alcoholism, depression, masochistic fantasy, and suicidal ideation later in life."

"As more family violence data accumulates, more evidence accumulates in support of Straus's view of normative forms of violence 'spilling over' into criminal forms. Parents who spank their children are significantly more likely to also physically abuse them than parents who don't. Parents who spank their children are more likely to physically abuse each other. And physically abused children are even more likely to grow up to commit crimes against non-family members than spanked children, who are in turn more likely to do so than non-spanked children."

"The mounting tide of research on spanking resembles the growth of research on the harmful effects of cigarette smoking. In both cases, no single study settled the issue. Every study had its weaknesses and its strengths. But when all of the available studies are viewed as a whole, a grim picture emerges: of a widespread, culturally ingrained habit which causes grave harm, bit by bit, by subtle increments."

"The parallels between smoking and spanking extend beyond the similarity of research study designs. Both are addictive practices justified by their practitioners in similar ways. 'I've smoked for fifty years and I feel great!' 'I was spanked and it never did ME any harm!' Bit by bit, the mounting evidence linking smoking with cancer eroded much of the cultural denial. Straus's book is at once a recognition of a similar trend towards popular identification of spanking as a harmful, injurious act, and an influence furthering that trend."

Here is the PDF with much of the data that the study was based on.

pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP3.pdf

People coping well with stress generally do not commit suicide.

[Psychologist]

To a child, being spanked is a form of trauma.

Being spanked requires a child to learn at a young age how to cope with trauma. This does prepare them for coping with trauma later in life.

The same can be said for dealing with many things in life: the death of a pet or family member, the relocation of the family, a serious illness or handicap, the acceptance of alternative lifestle living.

Now then, whether or not spanking is an acceptable method of training a child for trauma is a whole other matter. Personally, I don't like the idea. I think children have enough trauma as it is without spanking adding to it.

[best subjective guess]

raok said:

I have not seen the exact study that was mentioned but I think you can extrapolate from the data that has been collected.

For example this is an excerpt from Beating the devil out of them: Corporal punishment in American families and its effects on children

"...in the longer run, spanking has no measurable beneficial effects at all, and is associated with a variety of long term negative effects. The more children are spanked, the more they assault siblings and other children. The more children are spanked, the more their rates of age-adjusted antisocial behavior increase over time. Spanking in childhood is associated with higher levels of alcoholism, depression, masochistic fantasy, and suicidal ideation later in life."

"As more family violence data accumulates, more evidence accumulates in support of Straus's view of normative forms of violence 'spilling over' into criminal forms. Parents who spank their children are significantly more likely to also physically abuse them than parents who don't. Parents who spank their children are more likely to physically abuse each other. And physically abused children are even more likely to grow up to commit crimes against non-family members than spanked children, who are in turn more likely to do so than non-spanked children."

"The mounting tide of research on spanking resembles the growth of research on the harmful effects of cigarette smoking. In both cases, no single study settled the issue. Every study had its weaknesses and its strengths. But when all of the available studies are viewed as a whole, a grim picture emerges: of a widespread, culturally ingrained habit which causes grave harm, bit by bit, by subtle increments."

"The parallels between smoking and spanking extend beyond the similarity of research study designs. Both are addictive practices justified by their practitioners in similar ways. 'I've smoked for fifty years and I feel great!' 'I was spanked and it never did ME any harm!' Bit by bit, the mounting evidence linking smoking with cancer eroded much of the cultural denial. Straus's book is at once a recognition of a similar trend towards popular identification of spanking as a harmful, injurious act, and an influence furthering that trend."

Here is the PDF with much of the data that the study was based on.

pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP3.pdf

People coping well with stress generally do not commit suicide.

This is far from conclusive, but I'm afraid it's as close as we're going to get. It's just too subjective to study well.

[garbage in garbage out]

raok said:

"...in the longer run, spanking has no measurable beneficial effects at all, and is associated with a variety of long term negative effects. The more children are spanked, the more they assault siblings and other children. The more children are spanked, the more their rates of age-adjusted antisocial behavior increase over time. Spanking in childhood is associated with higher levels of alcoholism, depression, masochistic fantasy, and suicidal ideation later in life."

"As more family violence data accumulates, more evidence accumulates in support of Straus's view of normative forms of violence 'spilling over' into criminal forms. Parents who spank their children are significantly more likely to also physically abuse them than parents who don't. Parents who spank their children are more likely to physically abuse each other. And physically abused children are even more likely to grow up to commit crimes against non-family members than spanked children, who are in turn more likely to do so than non-spanked children."

"The mounting tide of research on spanking resembles the growth of research on the harmful effects of cigarette smoking. In both cases, no single study settled the issue. Every study had its weaknesses and its strengths. But when all of the available studies are viewed as a whole, a grim picture emerges: of a widespread, culturally ingrained habit which causes grave harm, bit by bit, by subtle increments."

"The parallels between smoking and spanking extend beyond the similarity of research study designs. Both are addictive practices justified by their practitioners in similar ways. 'I've smoked for fifty years and I feel great!' 'I was spanked and it never did ME any harm!' Bit by bit, the mounting evidence linking smoking with cancer eroded much of the cultural denial. Straus's book is at once a recognition of a similar trend towards popular identification of spanking as a harmful, injurious act, and an influence furthering that trend."

To use this to suggest that children who aren't spanked are somehow better adjusted adults is irresponsible and ignorant.

These studies are junk science; Nothing more, nothing less.

Why?

Well first, they fail to define spanking as many believe it should be used. They define spanking too broadly; hitting a child in the head with a fist and hitting a child with an open palm on a clothed but are two different things to most spanking parents, but to the administrators in charge of putting these studies together, they are one and the same. Furthermore, proper verbal communication with the child is an integral part of spanking but this is always overlooked in these studies. Last but not least is frequency of spanking; how often is it used and is it used as a first resort, last resort, or somewhere in between?

And second, they fail to closely scrutinize where they gather their data. The man who bloodies his child says it's "spanking" so they take his data. The man who uses an open palm on the child's clothed but says it's "spanking" so they take his data. Now why aren't the study administrators more careful about where their data comes from? Well, sometimes they just don't know. Other times, maybe they have an agenda that is better served if their own data is tainted.

An old saying comes to mind: "Garbage in, garbage out." A studies conclusions are only as good or worse than its input data.

This reminds me of the cholesterol studies. Years ago, they said cholesterol was bad. It killed you. No ifs, ands, or buts, it was deadly. Then some scientist had the brains and courage to realize there was good cholesterol and bad cholesterol. This changed the thinking and revolutionized the way cholesterol was viewed.

The difference here of course is that cholesterol is not political but raising children is. The science of cholesterol isn't subject to political correctness but the science of spanking is.

I challenge anyone to show me a single spanking study that meets the following (bare minimum to be truly objective) requirements:

1) Define and control the reason for which each spanking is administered.
2) Define and control the way (technique) in which each spanking is physically administered.
3) Define and control the way verbal communications are conducted before and after each spanking.
4) Define and control the frequency with which spanking is administered.

I'm waiting.

[Random Acts 0f Kindness]

garbage said:

To use this to suggest that children who aren't spanked are somehow better adjusted adults is irresponsible and ignorant.

Yet it was published in a peer reviewed publication. Just because a study does not agree with your views does not mean it is incorrect.

These studies are junk science; Nothing more, nothing less.

Why?

Well first, they fail to define spanking as many believe it should be used. They define spanking too broadly; hitting a child in the head with a fist and hitting a child with an open palm on a clothed but are two different things to most spanking parents, but to the administrators in charge of putting these studies together, they are one and the same. Furthermore, proper verbal communication with the child is an integral part of spanking but this is always overlooked in these studies. Last but not least is frequency of spanking; how often is it used and is it used as a first resort, last resort, or somewhere in between?

It seems clear you did not read the publication you are criticizing.

They did define what they were calling spanking. both in the body of the work as well as providing additional explanation in the notes section.

They were examining spanking as it is commonly used, not your definition of how you discipline your children. This was also explained in the body of the text.

The frequency of punishment was addressed and the results are displayed in the article.

And second, they fail to closely scrutinize where they gather their data. The man who bloodies his child says it's "spanking" so they take his data. The man who uses an open palm on the child's clothed but says it's "spanking" so they take his data. Now why aren't the study administrators more careful about where their data comes from? Well, sometimes they just don't know. Other times, maybe they have an agenda that is better served if their own data is tainted.

Again, before you criticize, read the information. The methodology was clearly defined, including some of the questions that were asked.

Had you read the article before you decided that it was not valid, you would have discovered that the parents were not the ones being asked about spanking.

An old saying comes to mind: "Garbage in, garbage out." A studies conclusions are only as good or worse than its input data.

And this saying has never been as valid as it is in regards to your observations on a paper that you clearly have not examined.

This reminds me of the cholesterol studies. Years ago, they said cholesterol was bad. It killed you. No ifs, ands, or buts, it was deadly. Then some scientist had the brains and courage to realize there was good cholesterol and bad cholesterol. This changed the thinking and revolutionized the way cholesterol was viewed.

This is the point of research.
There was a time when the atom was the smallest unit of matter.
There was a time when it was believed that matter could not be created or destroyed.
The scientist who looked into the 'good' and 'bad' cholesterol built his case on the research of people who made the statement that cholesterol was bad.
Scientists refine the work of people who worked before them.

The difference here of course is that cholesterol is not political but raising children is. The science of cholesterol isn't subject to political correctness but the science of spanking is.

At one time children worked 10-12 hours a day. There was a lot of people who did not want child labor laws put in place. Businesses lost a cheap labor source. Families lost wage earners. Towns had to provide schooling for more people. But in the end, the laws were passed and, looking back we wonder why we treated our children so badly.

I challenge anyone to show me a single spanking study that meets the following (bare minimum to be truly objective) requirements:

1) Define and control the reason for which each spanking is administered.
2) Define and control the way (technique) in which each spanking is physically administered.
3) Define and control the way verbal communications are conducted before and after each spanking.
4) Define and control the frequency with which spanking is administered.

Children are not lab rats.

The point of studies about things like spanking is not to see what is happening in narrow case you would like to define but to see how spanking, as it is currently used by society, affects people.

As to your points:

1) The reason was to reprimand the child. If you were to set up controls that say spanking can only be administered when the child is on the verge of falling into a well with three snakes and a wild boar, would not reflect the use of spanking as administered in society today.

2) The method was outlined in the article that you have discounted before reading.

3) The study was on the effects of spanking. Perhaps you could propose a study regarding the mitigating effects of discussion coupled with corporal punishment.

4) The frequency was taken into account and was used to generate the conclusion.

I'm waiting.

Keep waiting.

There is really no point in anyone providing additional reference material since you obviously are going to discount it without reading it.

[amen]

raok said:

This is the point of research.

Well said! And we have reached our conclusions so there's no reason to aspire to any higher understanding. Spanking is abuse. It harms children. It seeds aggression into the population. It is responsible for countless ills. It must be stopped.

[not subjective]

best said:

This is far from conclusive, but I'm afraid it's as close as we're going to get. It's just too subjective to study well.

There is nothing subjective about this. Spanking is child abuse. It's where our society gets its first taste of violence thinking its acceptable, normal, right, even good because it is equated to love by you sick child-abusing bastards. Spanking is child abuse and this is the final word. You can't argue with cold hard facts.

[EXCELLENT study]

raok said:

pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP3.pdf

This is an excellent read. If you read this and are not convinced that spanking will be the downfall of man, you are just not paying attention. We should phase out spanking to illegal before we lose our collective soul.

[Jude you are sick]

jude said:

You may be correct. I have realized as of late that because of my upbringing I am very independent. I have a strength that I am sure would not be there had my mother not beat and neglected myself and my brother.

But, have you considered that maybe the reason for the troubled youth of today may be the t.v., video games, even Disney movies ?? Have you considered that it could be that many are being raised by those that have no maternal/paternal love for them?? (daycare) Many children that are being raised in single parent homes are latch-key children. Way too much responsibility and freedom for such young minds?

I really don't know the answer's. I'm sure that there are many circumstances that have changed our youth of today.

Well jude since you're such a M0R0N I'll clue you in. I'm really sorry you were abused as a child but that doesn't give you a right to abuse your children. Spanking is abuse and using your childhood as an excuse is insane. You are most certainly an unfit parent, spanking your children, and I hope you lose custody of your children immediately before it is too late. You also need to get it figured that children can become strong, independent, well adjusted adults without being abused. You abuse must have been severe as a child because it brainwashed you into thinking that you can abuse your kids to make them strong. You are the worst kind of sicko and I can only hope and pray that your children don't have to put up with you in the picture for much longer.

[OH MY GOD]

passerby said:

Is anyone here aware of any studies that have been done regarding a correlation between being spanked as a child and having conflict resolution skills and dealing with stress as an adult?

For 40 years now, I have managed a retail environment employing about 30 people. I have had to deal with all kinds of adult behavioral issues. One thing I've noticed is that adults today seem to be less capable of coping with difficult, stressful situations. I often wonder why.

I don't buy into the notion that life today is more stressful, busier, tougher, or more complicated than it used to be. (I think this idea comes from a lack of historical perspective.)

I know the way children are raised has shifted over the past couple decades and have often wondered if this doesn't have something to do with it.

I thought this thread might be a good place to toss the idea out.

Is a child who is spanked (within reason - no abuse) more likely to become a "tougher" adult - more capable of dealing with stress and conflict?

Any studies on the subject would be appreciated.

Oh My God Oh My God Oh My God!!!!!!!

This is one of the saddest things I have ever seen in my life!!!!!

You are actually trying to justify abusing children!!!!!

What is this world coming to!!!!!!!

This road can only lead us all straight to hell!!!!!!!

I really really really hope you are not serious!!!!!!!

What kind of perverted, sick, twisted, sadistic, child-abusing bastard you are!!!!!!

You are beyond help!!!!!!!

Someone should do the world a favor and bury you!!!!!!!!

You are sick!!!!!!!

Please die a miserable and painful death tonight you twisted sicko!!!!!!!

[In shock]

passerby said:

Is anyone here aware of any studies that have been done regarding a correlation between being spanked as a child and having conflict resolution skills and dealing with stress as an adult?

For 40 years now, I have managed a retail environment employing about 30 people. I have had to deal with all kinds of adult behavioral issues. One thing I've noticed is that adults today seem to be less capable of coping with difficult, stressful situations. I often wonder why.

I don't buy into the notion that life today is more stressful, busier, tougher, or more complicated than it used to be. (I think this idea comes from a lack of historical perspective.)

I know the way children are raised has shifted over the past couple decades and have often wondered if this doesn't have something to do with it.

I thought this thread might be a good place to toss the idea out.

Is a child who is spanked (within reason - no abuse) more likely to become a "tougher" adult - more capable of dealing with stress and conflict?

Any studies on the subject would be appreciated.

I'm sorry but I just cannot let this go!

I keep thinking about it like some kind of sick poison that has infected my brain!

This is so sick and twisted the writer deserves worse than death!

This is awful!

It makes me weep to know there are people this sick on this planet!

Please leave this thread and this board!

We are loving Christian here and we don't need your darkness here!

Oh how sad this is!

This thread deserves to die!

All these sick people talking about abusing their children is to much!

I pray the admin will delete it!

Oh how I weep!

[people watcher]

Attention:

If the flagrant, shameless, sadistic and sickening bragging regarding the abuse of children continues in this thread, I will shut it down and report all posters IP's to the appropriate authorities.

[Random Acts 0f Kindness]

not said:

There is nothing subjective about this. Spanking is child abuse. It's where our society gets its first taste of violence thinking its acceptable, normal, right, even good because it is equated to love by you sick child-abusing bastards. Spanking is child abuse and this is the final word. You can't argue with cold hard facts.

I am guessing that posts like this (and the ones following) will be posted at some point to demonstrate how anti-spanking people posting here call spanking child abuse.

All of the words will be pulled out and used to demonstrate the attitude of thye anti-spanking posters.

If nothing else, it is probably a good way to kill discussion when you have nothing to offer.

[Claire]

never mind the child spanking issue ... what about all those keyboards getting a right pounding ...

Anyone want to venture an informed opinion/link on whether or not boy- and girl-children respond differently to spanking ?

/c
[who survived The Storm. The weather one, that is ;D]

[Random Acts 0f Kindness]

caithleen said:

never mind the child spanking issue ... what about all those keyboards getting a right pounding ...

Anyone want to venture an informed opinion/link on whether or not boy- and girl-children respond differently to spanking ?

/c
[who survived The Storm. The weather one, that is ;D]

As it turns out, males are spanked more than females.

There was a study that suggested females who had been spanked by males as young girls were more accepting, in later life, of abuse from other males in their lives.

Sorry - I can't recall or find the reference.

[Neandertroll]

raok said:

caithleen said:

never mind the child spanking issue ... what about all those keyboards getting a right pounding ...

Anyone want to venture an informed opinion/link on whether or not boy- and girl-children respond differently to spanking ?

/c
[who survived The Storm. The weather one, that is ;D]

As it turns out, males are spanked more than females.

There was a study that suggested females who had been spanked by males as young girls were more accepting, in later life, of abuse from other males in their lives.

Sorry - I can't recall or find the reference.

Yeah, Raok, my girl likes to be spanked. She likes to be whipped and tied up too! Boy am I glad she got spanked as a kid!! ;D

[Perfect maych]

Neandertroll said:

raok said:

As it turns out, males are spanked more than females.

There was a study that suggested females who had been spanked by males as young girls were more accepting, in later life, of abuse from other males in their lives.

Sorry - I can't recall or find the reference.

Yeah, Raok, my girl likes to be spanked. She likes to be whipped and tied up too! Boy am I glad she got spanked as a kid!! ;D

You know what they say:

"A sadist is a masochist's best friend".

Sounds like a match made in Heaven. Now remember, if you have kids you need to spank them as well.

[jude]

Well jude since you're such a M0R0N I'll clue you in. I'm really QUOTE:sorry you were abused as a child but that doesn't give you a right to abuse your children. Spanking is abuse and using your childhood as an excuse is insane. You are most certainly an unfit parent, spanking your children, and I hope you lose custody of your children immediately before it is too late. You also need to get it figured that children can become strong, independent, well adjusted adults without being abused. You abuse must have been severe as a child because it brainwashed you into thinking that you can abuse your kids to make them strong. You are the worst kind of sicko and I can only hope and pray that your children don't have to put up with you in the picture for much longer. END QUOTE


Alright, It seems that you may be a little unstable. I am NOT an advocate of spanking. If you read the entire thread-I know it's long-you would probably have seen that. I am not going to tell others that they are horrible people just because they choose differently than me. I choose not to spank. I would however swat my child on the rear should they try to run into traffic etc. if an immediate disciplinary action is required. I do think that for me and mine, it is better and more effective if positive reinforcement is used. I choose to use the loss of privileges
and time-outs. Those things work better with my children and the way I choose to raise them.

Because of my abuse, I choose to raise my children differently.

However, I have realized lately that I am the type of person who can handle most anything on my own. I find friends and loved ones that feel I should have more support and it always shocks me when they say that, I have recently been examining myself and my past to see why this is. I do believe the reason for my Independence is because I learned from a very young age that I am the only one I can truly depend on. Let me just add that when I became a Christ follower, I started allowing God to be with me thru difficult times. I honestly feel now that He is all I need.

With that said, I understood where some were going when I responded to the earlier posts. I thought to myself if what they were saying is true, I still could not change the way I do things. It will not matter the statistics. I will try to teach them how to handle stress ect. another way BESIDES spanking.

I hope this clears things up for you. If my responses were enough to get that kind of reaction from you, I suggest some therapy. I know from experience that it will do you a WORLD of good.

[Alternative]

In said:

passerby said:

Is anyone here aware of any studies that have been done regarding a correlation between being spanked as a child and having conflict resolution skills and dealing with stress as an adult?

For 40 years now, I have managed a retail environment employing about 30 people. I have had to deal with all kinds of adult behavioral issues. One thing I've noticed is that adults today seem to be less capable of coping with difficult, stressful situations. I often wonder why.

I don't buy into the notion that life today is more stressful, busier, tougher, or more complicated than it used to be. (I think this idea comes from a lack of historical perspective.)

I know the way children are raised has shifted over the past couple decades and have often wondered if this doesn't have something to do with it.

I thought this thread might be a good place to toss the idea out.

Is a child who is spanked (within reason - no abuse) more likely to become a "tougher" adult - more capable of dealing with stress and conflict?

Any studies on the subject would be appreciated.

I'm sorry but I just cannot let this go!

I keep thinking about it like some kind of sick poison that has infected my brain!

This is so sick and twisted the writer deserves worse than death!

This is awful!

It makes me weep to know there are people this sick on this planet!

Please leave this thread and this board!

We are loving Christian here and we don't need your darkness here!

Oh how sad this is!

This thread deserves to die!

All these sick people talking about abusing their children is to much!

I pray the admin will delete it!

Oh how I weep!

Perhaps an alternative you would fine attractive would be putting your thoughts down in a civil manner and defenting your point of view with some concrete data rather than belittling others in an attempt to make your point.