Presently I am shaking and I have a upset tummy .
Maybe what follows will inspire even one person to change .
So the book
It’s called Standing Together
available on Amazon Still
I was in a abusive relationship .
I think 💭 it was when we moved to the third shelter .
When a challenge was offered .
I had finally left him 4 good 😌 Plus I was sober !
There were orders of protection , just a piece of paper he and his buddies ignored .
They had found us a second time . One of his friends saw me .
We were in a secure building . I had just ran across the street to Safeway and boom 💥
His buddy see’s me .
I went back to the shelter and reported that they saw me .
Time to move again to another secure building .
Court proceedings were tough .
I was asked what I wanted .
I said , jail and money for domestic abuse .
He was ordered to pay $15,000 plus community service and jail on weekends .
Exactly why he wanted me . He now was accountable and he hated me with a passion .Here we go . Just when we were comfortable we started packing again .
When we arrived we had our own apartment . No sharing . Furnished and safe .
This became a normal thing to us .
5 years he hunted us down . But something was different at this shelter .
I met with a social worker and we clicked right away
I don’t know how but she was in touch with a lady who was studying domestic violence and wanted input .
By this time I had been on tv but , hidden a few times to speak about domestic abuse .
So my name was offered up I don’t know why
They asked if I would share my stories .
N helped me get started .
There were others in same situation
We thought they should speak as well if able .
Speaking and writing are very different .
A few at that shelter and 3 others were asked .
Some agreed , but couldn’t bring themselves to write it .
Fear ! To acknowledge it !
I wrote , my kids wrote .
Then slowly I would ask one when sitting and gabbing to share with me if they were comfortable .
It worked , they talked , I listened and N pieced the words together .
In this book you will see my name only once .
Because my daughter wanted to write a piece , she wanted people to hear and see very precious words about-her mom .
Not many names in the book . We gave that option no questions asked . We get the fear they had . To bring the abuse out can further hurt . So those who wanted did not have to say a name .
Then they could change whatever they wanted to after N edited it . Safe to say I wrote a lot . It hurt 😢 . If you know my personally and spoken words , you will know all I wrote .
So N and C and Brenda Stafford Foundation and the (Philanthropist man) asked if I would present this book when we tied it all up.
So the first time I was nervous .
I was going to speak at the Calgary Petroleum Centre after a meal .
Alberta has some of the largest oil and gas companies , back then .
I had nothing to wear to a event like that because we didn’t go out much we were more comfortable with work and family .
But we always had to look and beware . I mentioned it to N .
About a hour later she knocked our apartment door and handed me $100 dollars and sent me shopping .
I did so with great fear .
The day arrived and off I went .
Terrified out of my mind . The richest people in Calgary came .
News crew and I was starting to feel sick to my tummy .
These CEO’S had paid $100 for a ticket which included a steak dinner .
I sat by the philanthropist .
A beautiful man who gave much . The meal was over and now I had to get up to the podium .
Shaking I got up there . I had what I had written and other ladies stories .
I just wanted to read and leave . But I just spoke with my heart ❤️
Freely the words came
I relied on my faith
I closed with Cole’s story , the worst one I had heard and wrote for his mom . We are still in touch . Finally I was done , but I did not expect the clapping and standing .
I didn’t give much thought to it until the first oil and gas field companies bought one hundred thousand books by 1 company .
All that money was put back into the domestic abuse agency’s .
Pulling on my coat , I am ready to go and N stops me before I can .
She hands me a envelope which I open and it’s a cheque for a lot . N what are you doing ? We are paying you for your time , your writings and interviews with the other victims .
Cool that was awesome !
That day was a Thursday . Monday I received a call . The phone was not under my name , my parents put it under their names . So we would be safe . It’s the lady who started this book and adventure .
It’s kinda foggy now , but she asks if I would be willing to travel to book stores and share across Canada 🇨🇦 💥
. Ok yeah I think I can , should not have had thought of that at the start . But I didn’t want to be alone , fear .! Cole’s mom comes with me at the start .First stop Red Deer , Alberta .
She was unable to keep coming and I get it .
Remembering all the time that my abuser was free and out there , but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t go to a book store .
He might have been stuck in the drywall still , yep I did it and then called the police .
It was not announced a lot due to the violence in the book .
It was just a paper tapped on the doors .
To let people know of it and when we would speak .
Besides I was not in Calgary I was on the road . My kids WERE SAFE !
My last speech was in Ottawa .
To the Governor General Michaelle Jean .
Again I was compensated as was one of my daughter’s for her writing .
However we’re heading to a new home again but not a secure building . Our condo and temporary home . I have lost track of the moves .
We move and really settle in . We are all working , he is no longer looking for us .
He had a new woman !
Till one day the police do a welfare check on us , but they bring news .
They tell me , he killed her .
They didn’t know where he was though .
Very unsettling for us .
We had achieved freedom finally . Mom and Dad were always coming over , especially if it was a hockey game with the Calgary Flames , garage sales with Dad every Saturday then Timmies .
They bought pizza in those hockey nights . We were loving it up . We thought we were finally free .
We were moved to a hotel . The police were not sure where he was . We could have been a target .
Three days , room service no outings , nothing . No school and kids climbing the walls . Finally on day 3 the police come to the hotel and tell us he is dead .
WE WERE FINALLY TRULY FREE !
WE GOT TO ACT LIKE HUMANS AGAIN NOT PRISONERS
FREE FREE AT LAST .
I feel so bad for her children
Hope they are healing .
OMG 😱 what have I done ✔️