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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 14:53:07 GMT -5
YOu know you are a worker when you mistake the Holy Spirit for your belly. And when you feel "moved by the Spirit" that Christian take that to mean something is going to dump out of your mouth. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 14:57:16 GMT -5
You know you're a worker when you tell people not to say "Praise the Lord" because then when people hear the word Lord so much they won't respect God and grow careless. Brad
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Post by A question on Dec 30, 2006 14:57:40 GMT -5
YOu know you are a worker when you tell people everything you know and they still don't know anything. Brad owledge. Gee Brad, are you a worker? You have posted page after page and we still haven't gained any knowledge.
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 14:57:57 GMT -5
You know you're a worker when God changed his mind and its OK to read the NIV this year because now the translation is OK. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 14:58:44 GMT -5
YOu know you're a worker when you exercise once a year. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 14:59:06 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when gluttony is not sin. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:02:47 GMT -5
YOu know you are a worker when you tell people everything you know and they still don't know anything. Brad owledge. Gee Brad, are you a worker? You have posted page after page and we still haven't gained any knowledge. Oh, here, let me make up a verse the 2x2 way. with a 2x2 twist Mat 13:13 Therefore speak I to them in funnies: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand jokes. Mat 13:14 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Wiliam Irvine, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive neither will they ever get it: Mat 13:15 For this people's heart is waxed fat, and their ears are full of wax, and their eyes they have closed with laziness; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, should read the Bible and should understand with their heart, and should be converted to Christianity, and I should heal them. There! I've had practice for a year and a half. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:04:00 GMT -5
You know you are a 2x2 when you've read your Bible for years and still believe that you're right because the ministry goes out in pairs. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:05:19 GMT -5
YOu know you're a worker when you think others workers shouldn't go to seminary because Jesus never did. However it is only because you don't believe that Jesus is God, the son and he didn't need anyone to teach him! Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:06:31 GMT -5
YOu know you're a worker when you think others workers shouldn't go to seminary because the apostles never did. However it is only because you don't believe that Jesus is God, the son, he taught the apostles and they received sound teaching on the Bible. Brad
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Post by A note on Dec 30, 2006 15:06:49 GMT -5
Mat 13:13 Therefore speak I to them in funnies: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand jokes. Inane does not equal funny.
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:37:54 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when you're the only one that thought your sermon was really good. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:38:56 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when you try convincing others that you are sacrificing by giving up your job so that you can live in their house and eat their food and give speeches about your latest revelations twice a week. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:45:28 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when you post your contentions under an alias because you wouldn't want anyone to know you read the boards. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:48:10 GMT -5
Inane does not equal funny. Very good, you're catching on. And white is not black either. And 2x2s are not Christians And William Irvine is not God. And truth is not a lie. And the lie is not truth. I'm so proud of you. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:51:53 GMT -5
Inane does not equal funny. Inane is pretty close though 1 : EMPTY, INSUBSTANTIAL 2 : lacking significance, meaning, or point : SILLY I think SILLY is pretty close to funny. And if you think these worker jokes are empty, and insubstantial or lacking significance, then whoah dude (or dudette) ! What are you on? Brad
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Post by A note on Dec 30, 2006 15:53:15 GMT -5
you the topic of your sermon is Grace and you admit you don't know much about it then proceed to act as an authority on the subject.
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:53:20 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when the followers wait in silence for 10 minutes because mind control just works better then. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:54:54 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when you like 10 minutes of silence before meeting so their minds can be empty so that you can drain them of the rest of their mind (or time) or llife something like that. Huh! oh, don't tell them that. Oh no, someone woke up from the mind control and asked why adultery is OK this year as long as you don't take part in meetings for a year! Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 15:56:18 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when... a correspondent send you letter to an ex and you find out about it, so you cut communications off with that person. you can have mono log time with a group of people and enforce no question time. you can supplant children from their room as a visitor then control the children's activities. you are in a home and everything appears to be in "Ship Shape" during your stay. you can expound on how to run a family. Given to me by a friend, Brad
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Post by A note on Dec 30, 2006 15:56:38 GMT -5
you believe the form you speak is God's intended Truth.
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Post by A note on Dec 30, 2006 16:04:29 GMT -5
you pass out invitations after gospel meeting for the friends to give to their accountiances because you don't want to do it yourself.
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Post by botany on Dec 30, 2006 16:15:16 GMT -5
Haha! I only read through two of the pages... I will have to save the rest for later when I need a pick-me-up! Funny and sadly true. Thank you, Brad Lewis, for posting! Have a grateful day! andy
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Post by bluejay on Dec 30, 2006 17:06:50 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when the followers wait in silence for 10 minutes because mind control just works better then. Brad Hi Brad, In another of your posts I replied "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." This certainly applies to this topic for me personally. I meet with a wonderfully varied group of people every Sunday morning. Before the service starts things are often hectic, as people greet each other, visit, and bustle about. Once the worship music starts, people settle down and join in the singing. I've often remembered the quiet before meetings, and wished the sanctuary at this church could be a 'quiet place' before the service. After rushing around at home getting ready, I'd appreciate a few minutes of peace to relax & calm my mind. They do request the sanctuary be a place of prayer, not visiting, after the service, but I wish that could be extended to pre-service time also. Maybe I'll send someone a note with my request ... They do welcome questions, suggestions, etc. Not everything associated with the f&w's is "wrong", imo.
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Post by Are you on Dec 30, 2006 17:38:27 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when you're the only one that thought your sermon was really good. Brad Brad, are you sure you are not a worker? You know you are a worker when you're the only one that thought your post was really good.
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 22:18:20 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when you're the only one that thought your sermon was really good. Brad Brad, are you sure you are not a worker? You know you are a worker when you're the only one that thought your post was really good. I use to be in the work. All the things posted here have to do with things workers told me or I saw myself. When you're in the work, they say things privately to each other that the "friends" would be appalled to hear. The workers put on a show most of the time, but when they're together, they let their hair down, so to speak. I went into their "work" when I was 18 and didn't know how to talk or even get council on the things that went on. Only until I got out of the group about 6 months ago did I realize how wrong and ridiculous these things were. The jokes are a great way to share with people the things people said as workers and let them laugh a little about it too. Some of these 2x2 and worker jokes I don't find funny, but its because of the sadness associated with it. SOme of the ones that aren't really funny to me are hilarious to others because of their background. I hope that some of these were funny, but please know that all of the stuff comes from what I witnessed in the group either in or out of the work. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 22:25:41 GMT -5
You know you are a worker when the followers wait in silence for 10 minutes because mind control just works better then. Brad Hi Brad, In another of your posts I replied "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." This certainly applies to this topic for me personally. I meet with a wonderfully varied group of people every Sunday morning. Before the service starts things are often hectic, as people greet each other, visit, and bustle about. Once the worship music starts, people settle down and join in the singing. I've often remembered the quiet before meetings, and wished the sanctuary at this church could be a 'quiet place' before the service. After rushing around at home getting ready, I'd appreciate a few minutes of peace to relax & calm my mind. They do request the sanctuary be a place of prayer, not visiting, after the service, but I wish that could be extended to pre-service time also. Maybe I'll send someone a note with my request ... They do welcome questions, suggestions, etc. Not everything associated with the f&w's is "wrong", imo. Some things the workers and friends do we may not see as wrong because we are comfortable with it. I've seen former 2x2's (myself included) go to a worship service and feel very uncomfortable with the proceedings. Nothing scriptural, just a felling of uncomfortableness. But once you get used to the way things go, then you're OK with it. Jesus went apart to pray. I think that if we want quiet time that it is good to get away from other people. We wouldn't go to a celebration to try to be quiet. I'm thankful that where I go to worship the people are excited to see each other and have so much to talk about. I see so much of God's work going on in my life, my dad's life and others lives. Its fun to talk about it and give thanks to God for His amazing work. I was so earnest for my dad to become a Christian. And when he did, I could hardly believe it. That gave me a lot to share with others. I have a friend in the 2x2 group that is learning about God now. I gave him the 101 lessons on Biblical Evangelism by Ray Comfort and (someone else, I forget) and the man is on chapter 10. I am so excited for him. I couldn't keep me quiet about it even if I wanted to. God is so exciting that even the earth declares His glory and amazing attention to detail. Best wishes to you and I hope you find somewhere to go to be quiet before worship. Brad
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Post by Brad Lewis on Dec 30, 2006 22:29:49 GMT -5
YOu know you are a worker when you tell people everything you know and they still don't know anything. Brad owledge. Gee Brad, are you a worker? You have posted page after page and we still haven't gained any knowledge. If you haven't gained any knowledge that doesn't mean I'm a worker, it means you're a 2x2. You're in the wrong section evidently. Please go to the 2x2 jokes. These are jokes about the 2x2 way. If you feel offended and think these jokes are about you, then become a Christian and they won't bother you. Happy new year Brad
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