Who's Who on the TMB?

[dmmichgood]

Apr 28, 2012 12:50:06 GMT -5 m2 said:

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It fascinates me about myself and about many who post here that our history with this religion/ministry/belief has had such a profound effect on our lives. In my case, I qualify as B&R, on a convention grounds no less. And although I left the way of life behind soon after I went to college, it has certainly never left me.

I had a pretty good understanding of the history (not in detail, but generally) and was not disillusioned about this group so much as unable to continue to believe all the faith-requiring, illogical aspects of Christianity generally. Though I had a few issues with "the truth" that I felt strongly about, mostly having to do with racial attitudes and the roles/treatment of women, I did not leave angry. Mostly sad to disappoint my family.

That was all more than 40 years ago--but still has some feeling of immediacy. I don't feel injured or bruised by this childhood and youthful experience in any way. Indeed, there is something quite wonderful about growing up believing one is among God's special people--among the chosen!

I tend to romanticize the whole thing more than anything else. The modesty and unpretentiousness, the lack of showiness, the obvious sincerity (of many, though of course not all) all seem sort of sweet and innocent to me. I know about some parts of the darker underbelly, and I probably am too forgiving and tolerant of the various human foibles that manifest themselves among this group of humans. But I choose mostly to treasure the good parts and gloss over the rest. I am, for example, very grateful for the working knowledge I acquired of the old and new testaments. I am grateful that I had the experience of making a faith-based surrender at a time in my life when I was capable of that--not unlike falling in love.

I wonder if there are others who process their own history in the way I have. Oh yes, and I can still smell convention stew.

Yes, I also am grateful for the knowlege that we had to have because bible study etc.

It tends to amaze some of my "worldly" friends. They will say, "Just ask marie, she will know!" ;D Of course they don't realize at what cost I obtained that knowledge.

Yes, I can still smell the convention stew!

Also once I happened to go into a SUNLIT tent(it was a tent at our town's festival) and I felt such a sense of PEACE!
It took a bit to realize it was the same feeling of going into a warm, sunlit convention tent!

Our emotions do tell on us at times.

[Happy Feet]

May 14, 2012 18:13:23 GMT -5 @clou said:

Hi my name is Cindy (Becker) Owre - I left the 2s in 1997. In 2007 I wrote a paper for an undergrad course on the history of the immigration of the 2s to Canada and after my two adopted (2 by 2) grandmas died last year decided that it was finally safe to put out there on my academic website.

I am married to my partner Keith, we have two feline children. Tabby our oldest and our queen is 17 years young. Marble our youngest and busiest is 19 months young and quite the darling she came to us several months after our 13 year old Angel passed away last summer.

Both Keith and I are grad students working on masters degrees. With regards to our connection to the 2s - I was born and raised, folks left, I went back, and after preparing for a place in the work for five years I left.
Keith and I met three years later after he had left a group much like the 2s called Courts of Praise.

Thanks for sharing. Seems like you and your husband have a lot in common. I looked up the websites for The Courts of Praise and it seems like they are a four square Gospel Church according to one website. They seem like they are a Pentecostal Church and their doctrine fairly mainline.

[blovedbyhim]

I still remember the eggs; mmmm, loved how they were fluffy. The hot chocolate and cookies on Saturday evening; mmmm, still can't get the recipe right!

[emy]

May 18, 2012 18:23:34 GMT -5 blovedbyhim said:

I still remember the eggs; mmmm, loved how they were fluffy. The hot chocolate and cookies on Saturday evening; mmmm, still can't get the recipe right!

I have access to the hot chocolate recipe at one convention where people rave about it. I can get it for you if you PM me!

[paula]

I am completely confused and appalled. I grew up in The Truth. I was born in 1964 in Dallas. I was made fun of for looking different (no pants, no makeup, etc.) Workers took our big radio console when I was five out of our home because we held meetings, and it looked like a TV. No radio or TV, peeing in open latrines at convention and eating armadillo meat suffering through the heat in a tent and sleeping on cots. Not allowed to participate in school sports, so as to avoid all those worldly people. It was the childhood from Hell. Now, you people have a forum? Since when is the Internet less "worldly" than a TV? This religion destroyed my childhood and any hope I ever had of believing in God. I swore I would never put my 2 sons through anything like it. I guess it is different now....but, wouldn't a "true" religion stick to its convictions?

[CherieKropp]

Hi paula -
I think I may know you.
Check your Private Messages - see the top line in the header above.
Looks like this:

"Hey, paula, you have ___ messages, 1 is new."

[snow]

Jun 6, 2012 19:09:15 GMT -5 paula said:

I am completely confused and appalled. I grew up in The Truth. I was born in 1964 in Dallas. I was made fun of for looking different (no pants, no makeup, etc.) Workers took our big radio console when I was five out of our home because we held meetings, and it looked like a TV. No radio or TV, peeing in open latrines at convention and eating armadillo meat suffering through the heat in a tent and sleeping on cots. Not allowed to participate in school sports, so as to avoid all those worldly people. It was the childhood from Hell. Now, you people have a forum? Since when is the Internet less "worldly" than a TV? This religion destroyed my childhood and any hope I ever had of believing in God. I swore I would never put my 2 sons through anything like it. I guess it is different now....but, wouldn't a "true" religion stick to its convictions?

Hi Paula, sure do know where you're coming from. That was my initial response to finding a web forum too. I grew up with no TV Dancing sports etc and so computers just seemed to be way out there to even understand how it was possible it was allowed. I'm glad they now can have computers, but like you, I was initially quite shocked. Welcome to the forum where I have learned so much. We are a mixture of ex's and those who remain in. I enjoy the conversations now, but at first I think I was too hurt to take it all in. Had some interesting conversations at first So if you need to talk, PM me. I quit professing when I was 12 and left home after my final exams in grade 12. I haven't been to a meeting or convention since and that is 39 years ago. Like you it put me off anything to do with 'God' for a long time. Still not really comfortable with the word and still on a search for what I can resonate with.

[aussiesteve]

I also am a 3rd generation f&w raised in a home with both parents very active participants in the 2 by 2 church. I was raised in country Victoria, Australia among quite a few friends who became workers (and still are today). I have several cousins who also became workers.

I professed as a young man of about 12 but began to have questions through teenage years that were never answered satisfactorily. The two main questions I had were:
1. about the origins of the church, and
2. about the authority of the leaders and their right to proclaim God's word (when compared with leaders of other Churches).

I never really believed the story given (at that time) that the church continued through the dark ages from Jesus Apostles and this is what led me to have doubts about the authority of the workers. This seemed to be exacerbated by seeing some of my friends join the work and knowing that they were no different to me and I had seen no miraculous difference occur as they took on the responsibility of being workers.

When I was late in my teens I became a rebel with other friends and a cousin my age and was excommunicated for drinking while my cousin (who has a worker sibling) was let off for the same "sin". It became obvious that my questioning of the workers authority was the real reason for the excommunication as they took offence at my questions of whether they were guided by the Holy Ghost in their accusations of me being involved in orgies because I was drinking. I admitted to drinking but could not accept where their assumptions led them from there!

I married a non-professing girl a couple of years later and we have been married for 39 years with 5 children and 14 grand-children. I am so grateful now for the questions I had when I was an immature teenager as they have allowed me to have a very happy married life in another Church that has answered every question that I have had about where I came from, why I am on this earth, and where I will go to after I depart this life.

I have attended many f&w funerals and the odd gospel meeting over the years since I was shown the door. These experiences have helped solidify my feelings that God has watched over me by leading me to the real "truth" after leaving the f&w group. Because I have many friends and family who are workers and friends still professing - I enjoy coming to these websites to catch up on the latest happenings within the group.

I know that many f&w members are very good people with pure intentions and really believe they are doing the right thing. I will never join in with those who are constantly generalising about the evils of many of the friends & workers as i am not at all bitter about what happened to me as a teenager.

[swarupa]

Wow after reading the bio's of others, felt I needed to write minie. I grew up in Montana and professed at age 9 and enjoyed meetings and conventions. After graduation from high shool and nurses training i was drafted into the army, at which i worked as a nurse. After my tour was over, I offered for the work at preps the head worker recieved a letter about me. When I was in Oklahoma I was told by the head worker i was not to have fellowship with the friends in Texas they were too worldly. But I did any way as I had my basic training in Texas, and knew alot of friends and workers.
i left preps and the two by twos, I had many friends in the way, but no longer after leaving it. I have confronted some of them at my mothers funeral.
I tried many religions but believe that Jesus spoke of Love, and the churches are the same if u dont believe their way , you are not in their friendship circle.
I believe Jeus was a Master who came for that time period.
and other Masters have come.
I am now a Swami and teach Meditation and believe in the Eternal religion of a Divine being who loves and cares for me.
I love all and have forgiven all , and ask for forgiveness.
I willl admit i miss the Convention hash cooked in a wood stove at Ronan Convention. I follow for Tmb AND care and love all in the way and this boad. Blessings to all of you.

[swarupa]

and that is the truth ;D

[Scott Ross]

Jan 6, 2013 17:16:49 GMT -5 swarupa said:

and that is the truth ;D

Same with me!! (missing the hash at Ronan convention........)

[sms]

I've been on the board for a while, but haven't posted my "bio".

My name is Shawna. I was raised in Washington state in the meetings by my Mom. My parents divorced when I was 7, and my dad has been re-married for 30+ years. I, also, tend to remember a lot of the good things from the meetings. They were my family and my source of love and support in a less-than-ideal homelife. However, I did not feel the need/desire to profess for a long time. I greatly enjoyed my 2 years I lived with my Dad and step-mum, where I could wear makeup and jeans! I did eventually make my choice before starting my senior year of high school. I stayed true to the meetings and "this way is the only way" concept for a long time - even though I began to question the origins (from the sea of Galilee!) and the idea that all outside were condemned to a lost eternity.

As I grew older, though, I witnessed some of the "darker" sides of the meetings - shunning (I had the nerve to go to college, work late, hang out with worldly kids, etc . . . ) and gossip ("That Shawna sure is wild, and isn't good enough to date any of our boys!") and the excommunication of some of my friends. I married an "unprofessing" man (we've been married 18 years now), and continued going to meetings (though with increasing spotty attendance). My questions about "this way is the only way" became a conviction that not all outside the meetings were lost. Then I had a couple of kids, and my attendance became even spottier, and my questions and lack of conviction became greater. Convention with a toddler and an infant was an exercise in frustration - and the condemnation I received from family when I left a convention one meeting early due to complete exhaustion just added to my feelings of isolation and my questions about origins, dress code, etc continued to grow.

My family chanced to move to a place where meeting was some distance away, and my attendance plummeted. I don't remember what happened, or what was said - but I remember at some point around 2005, I went to a meeting followed by a pot-luck with the kids. I came home, and told my husband I was never going back again. I was tired of being lied to, and tired of being a liar through my ignorance. I was tired of associating myself with a faith I had lost faith in.

I have since explored some other faiths, but found the "worldly church" influences of the meetings too much to overcome. Also - once I began to question the basic tenants of the truth, I also questioned the veracity of other churches.

Thus, I would currently call my belief system "Universalist Unitarian" with atheistic leanings - though my feelings and beliefs are complex and evolving. I am content to love all kinds of people - regardless of religion, race or creed. There are good and evil people in every faith and in every dogma and in every doctrine. I am glad every day that I did not raise my children in the meetings. Despite still having tremendous love and affection for many in the meetings today and fond memories of convention (missing the hash, too, Scott!) - I was very much raised in a "conditional love" environment. I felt I was loved by my Mom only when I behaved a certain way, and loved by God only when I behaved a certain way. My kids know unconditional love and have learned to think critically about all beliefs and dogmas, and (I hope) feel free to believe what speaks to their own hearts.

(Moderator - if this is too long - let me know and I'll shorten!)

[snow]

I miss the 'hash' too! Wonder what they put in it? Addictive!!

[Happy Feet]

Thanks for sharing sms. Good to hear about the pathway others have taken.

[faune]

I enjoyed reading your story and share in a lot of your feelings. My story had similarity to yours. Towards the end, the last five years within the 2x2 fellowship, my attendance got really spotty, too. I never forced our three children to attend the meetings when teens, since I didn't want them to feel stifled by the workers and the many rules. I left for good on Easter Sunday, determined never to return and I have been true to that vow since April 1995. My husband left earlier, in October 1981, and became an atheist afterward. I went on to explore some different churches outside until I found one near home, which met my spiritual and emotional needs. I didn't lose my faith in God, but came really close in those early years of being disillusioned by religion in general. Here's a link to my life story found on the TLC public site, if you care to read it?

thelibertyconnection.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=178:gerber-faune-fuller&catid=5:recent-exit-stories&Itemid=6

[gecko45]

gecko45 here, not my real name, (honest), but due to some family who are of the most fundamentalist mindset I choose to remain relatively anonymous. Many would be horrified to know that not only do I read "hate sites" but even participate to a small degree. Out of concern for them I will remain behind a pseudonym, at least for now.


My story, 

B&R in rural N. America, west of the Mississippi.

My family "professed" shortly before my arrival into this world, they had a Catholic background that still hold influence over parts of their understanding to this day.  I have an older sibling who remembers having a TV but that was gone before any of my memories begin. For the most part we were all of the "born and raised" experience.

I have come to understand from reading of others experiences that families considered "newbies or babes" were given a bit more leeway when it came to the "standards of the kingdom". This was far from the case in my home, perhaps because there were a lot of "old families" in our area, that my parents felt the need to be extra righteous.  A very strict dress code, no sports, no extra curricular events from school, no music on radio (Public Radio was grudgingly accepted). Any school events concerning Christmas, Easter, Halloween, etc we were not to attend school that day (though it was compensated with a rare trip to the nearby city for a shopping excursion). Being a male, it was a little easier for me when it came to "standing out", though I do know my sister had it much worse. Also because she is of a more extroverted personality, requiring the approval of others, while I was a classical introvert and awkward socially. So despite different reasons, neither of us ever obtained membership in the popular crowd, both in the "world" and in fellowship.  Movies, smoking and alcohol were all part of "the world", and to be shunned. Make-up, jewellery, etc were also bad; most of you would know what the "standards of kingdom" are, just giving an idea of how "strict" my formative years were.  Families and areas that had "lower standards" were to be pitied and even in some cases outright shunned.

Like a many others I professed in my early teens, to this day I still feel I was "moved by God" (or however you wish to phrase it).  I know it was expected of me and was aware of being a disappointment to my parents for not doing so earlier.  However looking back on the moment I still feel there was something there, "supernatural" or at least not my own conscience thoughts.  To this day it is one of very few things that keep me from being whole heartedly a compete atheist.

Then was baptised in my early-mid 20's, which in my region is pretty normal.  In this experience I cannot say there was ever a time in which I felt "moved by God" to act, this was certainly dictated by local custom.  Very much to my disappointment I felt absolutely nothing during and after this event.  Just prior to this I did learn about W.I. and other stories of the origins of our fellowship, from a respected professing person (this was pre-internet days).  It never "ruined my faith" but rather seemed a more believable account than the "unbroken line" going back to the "shores of Galilee". That God could "raise up a prophet" and reinvigorate people to return to a primitive church seems a wonderful thing, a story worth sharing, but I was well aware the "company line" and never caused trouble. The concept that I see now being referred to as "Living Witness" made no sense to me as a young lad, but questions along the line of the hope of salvation for the North American Indian, pre Columbus just would lead to trouble and calls for a need for greater faith. 

During this time I also felt "bothered by the work". There was always "the call of the harvest field" at each convention plus parents and local elders always spoke of how the harvest field is the "greatest place you could have".  After the lack of any fulfilment from my baptism I came to the conclusion that if indeed I was "called into the work" I would never feel "peace", or any joy that others spoke so much of.  Of course a celibate, homeless life had no appeal so I prayed very honestly for assurance in this. In the only other thing in my life that I have experienced that can be categorized as "supernatural" (or otherwise not explained by logic), I felt I got my reassurance.

So I had a couple visits with workers and made my offer, hoping all along that I would feel the "peace" that we are all told comes with a life "submitted to God". It never came, much like my baptism, the failure of any feeling of reassurance was devastating to me.  For 2-1/2 years I struggled along, and while many said I was a good speaker, had a good "spirit", and "encouraged" people (often 2 and 3 times my age) I never obtained any reassurance that God was with anything I had done, being socially awkward and naturally introverted was a constant handicap.  After several visits with the overseer, I left the work. Most people were very kind, but I was very aware of the silent disapproval of most people, and my parents were terribly disappointed. Sadly, in our fellowship, parents of workers are held in higher esteem than most other saints. Whether it was this lose of status, or genuine feelings that their child was leaving a "place of blessing", (most likely a bit of both) they were very hurt by this and made me aware of it.

After leaving the work and adapting to normal life again (not so hard as I had worked away from home for several years before going in the work) I continued to attend meeting and convention, but without much depth or feelings of fulfilment.  The meetings and fellowship is now more of a social club than anything and the thought of losing that is what keeps me going.


At this point in my life I am not sure where I am headed.  My personal experiences in general would lead me in the direction of atheism or agnostic.  However the "answer" I got about going into the work and the feeling as a young teen when I professed are 2 experiences that keep me from fully rejecting the possibility of the divine realm. 


I am glad to read of the journey's that others have taken, hope someday to have a happy ending of my own to add.

[snow]

gecko45, certainly know about the 'journey'. I hope you find what brings you peace. Thankyou for sharing!

[swarupa]

A warm greeting to all of you, my name is Warren L Wagner and my Spiritual name is NayaSwami Swarupa Warren. Naya- means new Swami means one who teaches. Swarupa means one who seeks truth. These words come from Sanskrit language. All my life I have been a searcher of truth, and found it did not come from Religion. But from an inner truth of knowledge that indeed I am a child of God. The prove of this comes from the knowledge I have a soul, that lives on and on. Why, because It comes from a loving power and creator power that vibrates in all of us. My mother was a member of the Way, and I professed at age 8 and continued until age of 26.
I was drafted into the Army at age 20,and enjoyed my time with the friends in Texas and Oklahoma. When I was stationed in Oklahoma, the Overseer Worker told me I was not to mix with the Texas friends as he did not want Oklahoma friends to be contaminated by the worldly Texas friends. I continued visiting also in Texas, as I had made some good friends in Texas and also had an Uncle in San Antonio. My goal when I left the Army was to enter the work. Upon discharge I went to preps at Ronan Convention grounds. While there the head worker received a letter from the head worker from Okl. naming many infarctions and most of all Disobedience. Needless to say the worker would not listen to my side of the situation and I left after convention. After that the rumors flew, and after awhile I told a worker I had enough abuse and was leaving the Way.
Through the years I sought truth in religion, and did not find in there, I became interested only in spirituality, and that is where I remain today. I have forgiven all who I felt I needed to forgive, and only request forgiveness for any wrong I may have done, or offended anyone. May peace and love be your guide in seekng SPIRITUALITY. This IS MY final will and testament at age 73.

[rose62]

Finally figuring out the controls...... Found this board by accident. I work in a medical profession. I am an ex, family goes back at least 4 generations. Just registered, first post, so I hope nobody minds me sticking to a screen name, for now. I feel very sorrowful for some of the abuses and damage done to others. Some of it reflected in different posts on this board, and I decided to join. 

I have no resentments, and am quite comfortable with professing people when I am around them....mostly when visiting family, weddings and funerals etc...recently met a male worker new to the "field" when visiting a professing relative, and he seemed pretty strange. Looked at me sternly, but I just held his gaze, and asked him to repeat his name because I didn't quite catch it. I guess, partly, because my parents were not attending for periods of time when I was a child, I had an easier time than some. I think the fact that left early, almost as soon as I got into college and I never married a professing man also helped. No single experience or event made me stop meetings, mostly I felt intellectually starved, spiritually starved, and I didn't like the way women were treated. I am sorry, but once you get past dress codes, hairstyles, catching a man and having babies, there really wasn't much there for women...at least in my place and time. I saw very few truly joyful people, and the whole focus on appearance seemed so petty, and distracted from deeper issues....just my observation.

Since leaving, I have been mostly drawn to the Anglican traditions. Anglo/Catholic feels like a good blend of family heritage. I found myself reading a lot of theology for years, and love the elements of truth in all ways. Each path, if right for the individual, can lead to the source of all joy and blessing. Thomas Merton cautioned against relying on institution, so I just have learned to never believe in a "way" but the one worked out between myself and the Creator. 

Good to meet you all.
Rose

[snow]

Oct 2, 2013 19:41:53 GMT -5 rose62 said:

Finally figuring out the controls...... Found this board by accident. I work in a medical profession. I am an ex, family goes back at least 4 generations. Just registered, first post, so I hope nobody minds me sticking to a screen name, for now. I feel very sorrowful for some of the abuses and damage done to others. Some of it reflected in different posts on this board, and I decided to join. 

I have no resentments, and am quite comfortable with professing people when I am around them....mostly when visiting family, weddings and funerals etc...recently met a male worker new to the "field" when visiting a professing relative, and he seemed pretty strange. Looked at me sternly, but I just held his gaze, and asked him to repeat his name because I didn't quite catch it. I guess, partly, because my parents were not attending for periods of time when I was a child, I had an easier time than some. I think the fact that left early, almost as soon as I got into college and I never married a professing man also helped. No single experience or event made me stop meetings, mostly I felt intellectually starved, spiritually starved, and I didn't like the way women were treated. I am sorry, but once you get past dress codes, hairstyles, catching a man and having babies, there really wasn't much there for women...at least in my place and time. I saw very few truly joyful people, and the whole focus on appearance seemed so petty, and distracted from deeper issues....just my observation.

Since leaving, I have been mostly drawn to the Anglican traditions. Anglo/Catholic feels like a good blend of family heritage. I found myself reading a lot of theology for years, and love the elements of truth in all ways. Each path, if right for the individual, can lead to the source of all joy and blessing. Thomas Merton cautioned against relying on institution, so I just have learned to never believe in a "way" but the one worked out between myself and the Creator. 

Good to meet you all.
Rose

Welcome rose62! So good to see you found us all! I'm an ex and that's pretty much how my life went once I left home.

[hydropillar]

Hi I'm Randy 52 m from s dakota . 3 rd gen b&r family.

I recently found this site and others. Im sure word of my posting will spread like wildfire and my good sisters will try and save me now.
I have no regrets how i was raised i know mom n dad were very sincere in their belief . i got a chuckle off another post about 2 girls playing meeting and spanking their dolls!
I know Mother wore her razor strap thin on me as i was a bit of a rebel . 
I am happy to see many of you agree this religion we were raised in is not the only way for personal salvation. 
might add more later
 

[Mary]

Thanks for your intro. hydropillar. Look forward to hearing more from you.

[deepweb]

20 years old, born and raised in "the Truth" (still a little weird for me to refer to it as '2x2'). I'm 3rd generation, but no longer attending meetings or in contact with many professing people aside from my still-practicing family (and no hard feelings in the way of any of our relationships). No horror or hardship stories from my end and I've retained a strong interest in theology, studying religion and facets of philosophy regularly in college. I often jokingly refer to myself as being "academically religious", but realistically I am an agnostic. Spent the largest chunk of my life in the Midwest, but I'm now on the East coast.

[snow]

Feb 11, 2014 13:58:27 GMT -5 deepweb said:

20 years old, born and raised in "the Truth" (still a little weird for me to refer to it as '2x2'). I'm 3rd generation, but no longer attending meetings or in contact with many professing people aside from my still-practicing family (and no hard feelings in the way of any of our relationships). No horror or hardship stories from my end and I've retained a strong interest in theology, studying religion and facets of philosophy regularly in college. I often jokingly refer to myself as being "academically religious", but realistically I am an agnostic. Spent the largest chunk of my life in the Midwest, but I'm now on the East coast.

Hi Welcome. I love your term "academically religious". I have studied religions but am also agnostic. Don't know what else I could be with all I've learned about religions in general.

[faune]

Feb 11, 2014 13:58:27 GMT -5 deepweb said:

20 years old, born and raised in "the Truth" (still a little weird for me to refer to it as '2x2'). I'm 3rd generation, but no longer attending meetings or in contact with many professing people aside from my still-practicing family (and no hard feelings in the way of any of our relationships). No horror or hardship stories from my end and I've retained a strong interest in theology, studying religion and facets of philosophy regularly in college. I often jokingly refer to myself as being "academically religious", but realistically I am an agnostic. Spent the largest chunk of my life in the Midwest, but I'm now on the East coast.

Deepweb ~ Welcome to TMB! I also enjoy studying the history of religions and come from the Northeast; however, I have been down South for a number of years.  Hope you find a lot to entertain you on this Board and we'll have a chance to get to know you better?   

[Gene]

Feb 11, 2014 13:58:27 GMT -5 deepweb said:

20 years old, born and raised in "the Truth" (still a little weird for me to refer to it as '2x2'). I'm 3rd generation, but no longer attending meetings or in contact with many professing people aside from my still-practicing family (and no hard feelings in the way of any of our relationships). No horror or hardship stories from my end and I've retained a strong interest in theology, studying religion and facets of philosophy regularly in college. I often jokingly refer to myself as being "academically religious", but realistically I am an agnostic. Spent the largest chunk of my life in the Midwest, but I'm now on the East coast.

Welcome. Also from the Midwest (Iowa) but in NJ/Manhattan for many years.

[sherry]

Hi everyone

I'm sherry from Queensland Australia. I've been bought up in 'the truth' as has my husband. We still attend with our children although he finds it hard around work to be home on sundays. I have my little struggles and questions as everyone does but not enough to turn me away, I have read through the forum a little and appreciate the different views

[withlove]

Hi and thank you to everyone for the board and the discussions. This has been so helpful for me in the past year or so to hear others express what I didn't know how to and to feel less alone in my struggles to understand what exactly I was B&R in (still in).

This is terrifying to register here, esp. after reading some of the stories of people being excommunicated for weird reasons. What if I'm found out? Don't worry- I'm not important or interesting. Just so many what-ifs about so many things have been in my head.

Beliefs: that I don't know everything anymore, and that even though I have always felt love and sympathy for people and judging is my least favorite verb, I still feel like an arrogant jerk for ever believing that anyone who didn't stand up in a gospel meeting is going to hell. Or that the way of Christ is ONLY one specific sect of Christians.

I'm sorry to everyone for that. And I'm mad. And I get that we're all victims and no one alive started the living way doctrine. But at what point do people start taking responsibility and start correcting things and having the courage to actually say, out loud, in front of a group that x y and z are wrong and we are sorry for our responsibility in it?

I'm just in that murky spot where there is a lot of uncertainty about what is the right thing to do. I have determined that prayer alone is disappointing to God. But I am a total coward and what change could I possibly make anyway?