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Post by kurtzphil69 on Mar 11, 2015 18:28:00 GMT -5
Anytime I've had a 'close call' or someone I care about has had a 'close call' with death or something that could be serious it has caused me to do some soul-searching and take stock of what's going on in my life--What is MOST important as well as : are there things I've been hanging on to that I'd be better off letting go of. What have I been STRIVING for. Is it truly worthwhile? Or is all my striving in vain?
I'm just honestly speaking for myself here and part of my journey.
Don't know about anyone else, but it truly amazes me the 'things' I seem to hang on to like it's got some sort of vice-grip on me. I don't do it on purpose, but it happens. And before I know it, there are 'things' I am carrying around that I don't need to be carrying around that are really just burdens I don't need to bear. But I may not even be able to 'see' those burdens for what they really are! I have "blind spots", and yet my memory is sometimes too good for my own good. There are things I forget I should remember...and there are things I remember that I'd be better off forgetting.
One very common example of burdens we tend to carry [maybe unbeknownst to us] is simply the burden of unforgiveness with the resentment that can accompany it. Why? Why does unforgiveness seem to linger so much? And, it can be unforgiveness toward someone you even dearly love that has done something to hurt you and even though they are sorry and try to make up for it, you still haven't forgiven them. Why? Just because it's in the past does not mean it is automatically healed. Why is it so hard to forgive? In fact I would say the opportunity for unforgiveness to occur is between people you love the most or are closest to, such as can occur in families or in a marriage.
Maybe one of the reasons is that there is a 'wound' that hasn't been completely healed; it's unresolved....We may think it's been resolved, but is it really? hmmm. Yes, some of the wounds do get healed and resolved, but some wounds are stubborn to heal and they just don't go away... or will they? It can feel as if you have a hole in your heart. For myself, I have needed to PURSUE healing; take an active rather than passive approach to it.
So, part of my own personal journey and 'work', (so to speak) is to find ways to heal and forgive. This is something that ideally shouldn't take a "life-changing" experience to set in motion. But, that is sometimes what it takes. Something that stirs us up. And I've been pleasantly surprised in how much help, empathy and support there really is available if I am but willing to ask for it, that is, if my stubborn pride can step aside and allow me to ask for the help I need.
I remember one day my dad called me up in tears. I don't recall my dad hardly ever crying or shedding a tear. But this day he was sobbing. Why? Because, he said, he FINALLY forgave someone for something they did long ago that they were truly sorry for. This really spoke to me. If my dad could forgive that person for what they did, what was stopping me from forgiving someone else for something not nearly as bad? Well, I learned something about myself. That when my pride is wounded, it's one of the most stubborn things to heal and let go of. It always seems to circle back around to pride and its follies with me...
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Post by bubbles on Mar 11, 2015 18:43:02 GMT -5
Kurtz Yes unforgiveness is a horrid tie that binds us to the one who hurt us, betrayed us etc.i struggled for yrs with it. I wanted to forgive the person based on the forgiveness of Christ towards me. Everytime it rearered its ugly head I would go through the process of confessing my sin acknowledging it and repenting for it. Eventually after going through the darkest hours of my soul. I one day realised its just not there any more. The problem with unforgiveness it binds us to the person. Jesus wants people free from bondage. Hurt anger turns into other things if left undelt with. Forgiveness is not an emotion. It is an active decision of our will. This helped me tremendously. When I actively decided to forgive based on Jesus words. My emotions were put in the background. Then the power of forgiving worked. I was set free.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2015 19:29:56 GMT -5
Total forgiveness is sometimes very difficult to achieve. It all depends on the magnitude of hurt inflicted on us by the particular individual especially if the aggressor is closely related to us and is trusted by us; the disappointment and hurt suffered could be overwhelming and very damaging.. Sometimes we would like to forgive our trespassers, but our human nature does no allow us to easily forget, and forgiving and not forgetting does not work very well for most individuals. Some folks have a forgiving spirit/nature that allows them to bury the hatchet and move on- "water under the bridge " sort of situation. Of course being able to totally forgive also depends on the behaviour and attitude of the offender towards the offended person. If the offender shows deep remorse then that makes it a bit easier for the offended person to forgive. In the absence of the positive and genuine signs of remorse the injured person normally finds difficulty in healing that would bring total closure.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 12, 2015 0:17:51 GMT -5
A few thoughts on wound healing that might be helpful: I'll use the analogy of healing physical wounds, as that is what I am quite familiar with and I am sure this will barely scratch the surface as it is quite a large and fascinating topic. There are some things that promote wound healing and there are some things that impede wound healing. Things that promote are good nutrition with plenty of protein, (think of it as building blocks to repair). Good circulation of oxygenated blood to the wound; poor circulation is a problem and can contribute to DEAD TISSUE. Other things that help are rest, decreasing stress and decrease PAIN, just to name a few... I want to highlight the aspect of pain because I am known as the 'pain Nazi'; attack the pain to relieve it; don't mess around with 'baby doses' or things that don't really help. Studies have shown that people recover better from surgery and heal faster if they have good pain relief. They are also more likely to move around better, which is in turn helpful to healing. If they are in too much pain, they won't be moving around very well and that's not good for healing they'll just lay around and rot, not to mention other complications that can occur with prolonged bedrest. Doctors want their patients up and ambulating as soon as possible and as much as possible without overdoing it. So, pain relief is so important! Is this not also true for emotional wounds? If a person continues to be in pain, will they heal very well? So, it's important to get the pain under control. For some people, this means getting out of an abusive, painful relationship or environment. Easier said than done. But think about it: when a person has pain inflicted on them repetitively, how can they completely heal? I'm not saying run away from your 'problems'. That's different. And I'm not saying a person can expect to be totally pain free in life. But, if at all possible, the pain must be addressed and taken care of sufficiently. People with emotional wounds need pain relief... Another thing that needs to be taken care if it is a problem is that of dead tissue. Sometimes wounds need to be debrided of the old dead tissue. This isn't always a lot of fun for the patient and hopefully whoever does the debriding will pre-medicate, but the dead tissue can impede healing. It's not good for the wound. You know there are lot of people in this world simply walking around with a bunch of dead tissue. They may not even be aware of it; it's become a part of them. But it needs to gotten rid of so new healthy tissue can take it's place. There, that's enough for now, it's getting late and I'm getting tired. Good night.
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Post by snow on Mar 12, 2015 11:13:42 GMT -5
True about dead tissue (and the rest too). I have skin cancer so I know the importance of burning the dead tissue from precancerous spots so that healthy tissue can grow. I can totally see the analogy with emotional pain. Many times we aren't even aware of the painful things we carry emotionally until something triggers them. An example of that was a couple of years ago in a restaurant there was a child acting up. He was about 3 and being a bit fussy. His dad grabbed him and started to carry him out of the restaurant and the kid just started screaming, terrified, screaming, no Daddy!! no Daddy, please Daddy and I froze. I started to shake and cry. That was me being hauled out of meetings and I knew I was going to get a beating and I was so scared. I never realized I still carried that with me until I heard that little boys terrified screams. We do need to work through things from our past or we never quite heal. Things that can still trigger us to that degree need to be dealt with. Most of the time we aren't even aware they are there until they are triggered. But then you can do something about the healing once you are aware.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2015 14:15:49 GMT -5
True about dead tissue (and the rest too). I have skin cancer so I know the importance of burning the dead tissue from precancerous spots so that healthy tissue can grow. I can totally see the analogy with emotional pain. Many times we aren't even aware of the painful things we carry emotionally until something triggers them. An example of that was a couple of years ago in a restaurant there was a child acting up. He was about 3 and being a bit fussy. His dad grabbed him and started to carry him out of the restaurant and the kid just started screaming, terrified, screaming, no Daddy!! no Daddy, please Daddy and I froze. I started to shake and cry. That was me being hauled out of meetings and I knew I was going to get a beating and I was so scared. I never realized I still carried that with me until I heard that little boys terrified screams. We do need to work through things from our past or we never quite heal. Things that can still trigger us to that degree need to be dealt with. Most of the time we aren't even aware they are there until they are triggered. But then you can do something about the healing once you are aware. Yes that episode was brought alive by what is sometimes referred to as a "memory trigger" by the way "smell" is a great memory trigger as well.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 12, 2015 14:26:15 GMT -5
Hmmm. Triggers. Hearing certain music is often a trigger for me. It can trigger the gamut of emotions, for sure. But I have found a lot of healing/therapy in music and started to tap into it at a very early age. It's good for what ails you...Today I enjoyed listening to my daughter learning to play a piece on the piano by Debussy. ( Clair du lune ) www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LXl4y6D-QI
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 12, 2015 14:36:31 GMT -5
How to treat emotional pain? Sure, I guess you could pop a pill to change how you perceive pain and many people, when they use mind-altering substances are self-medicating that way. I don't judge them for it. But, ideally it's best to treat emotional pain in healthier ways. Some people DO need medication for depression, anxiety, etc. I think that emotional pain can definitely turn into depression of varying degrees and folks have been singing the blues for ages. Some people think that singing about the blues just makes a person bluer. I beg to differ. It's a way to get the emotions out and unburden yourself. Music is good therapy.
So, here is one theory I have: emotional pain needs to 'go' somewhere. If it sits inside you it can fester and/or turn into to dead tissue. The pain needs to be RELEASED. This can be brought about in a variety of ways; perhaps one of the best is simply by talking to someone who cares and listens whether that be a friend or a therapist or co-worker or family member or whoever. Some people unburden themselves with complete strangers better than they can with anyone else.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 12, 2015 14:40:48 GMT -5
Remember this song by Firefall? www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt6lYiKcik8
When it all goes crazy and the thrill is gone The days get rainy and the nights get long When you get that feeling you were born to lose Staring at your ceiling thinking of your blues
When there's so much trouble that you wanna cry The world has crumbled and you don't know why When your hopes are fading and they can't be found Dreams have left you waiting, friends have let you down
Just remember I love you and it'll be all right Just remember I love you more than I can say Maybe then your blues will fade away
When you need a lover and you're down so low Start to wonder, but you never know When it feels like sorrow is your only friend Knowing that tomorrow you'll feel this way again
When the blues come calling at the break of dawn Rain keeps falling, but the rainbow's gone When you feel like crying but the tears won't come When your dreams are dying, when you're on the run
Just remember I love you and it'll be all right Just remember I love you more than I can say Just remember I love you and it'll be all right It'll be alright, it'll be alright, it'll be alright, well it'll be all right
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2015 15:03:09 GMT -5
Hmmm. Triggers. Hearing certain music is often a trigger for me. It can trigger the gamut of emotions, for sure. But I have found a lot of healing/therapy in music and started to tap into it at a very early age. It's good for what ails you...Today I enjoyed listening to my daughter learning to play a piece on the piano by Debussy. ( Clair du lune ) www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LXl4y6D-QI
Ah music! I like playing the keyboard myself, particularly the organ and I also like to listen to music. When I was in junior school our music teacher gave us the following definition of music. " Music is a language that expresses feelings and ideas through the medium of sound."
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Post by kurtzphil69 on Mar 12, 2015 15:43:54 GMT -5
I think WRITING is good therapy! I relate well to both musicians and writers. Everyone has a story that needs told...Thankful for authors as reading is also good therapy for me. Takes my mind off worries and stressors. I discovered in 1999 that I COULD write. It was a wonderful discovery. Since then, I have written numerous songs and put them to music. They've been well received for the most part and that gives me a good feeling. Except for one person who accused me of having 'too much time on my hands' and that's why I came up with the songs I wrote. Such is not the case. I DON'T have too much time on my hands. I simply took the time to write; made the time to write. I remember finding some 'place' to let go of thoughts and feelings and ideas, etc. Let it flow.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 12, 2015 16:27:19 GMT -5
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 12, 2015 16:39:05 GMT -5
I love this song by Dan Tyminski. First time I heard it it made me cry.
Making Hay
He never went to school beyond the day he turned sixteen And I can’t say that I know being that poor really means He wouldn’t be mistaken for a man of high degree But he was just as smart as anyone could be
The first thing I remember till the day I moved away Up and every morning I don’t believe he missed a day It was always after sundown when he pulled up in the yard He would be on a tractor and let me drive into the barn
=Chorus= While the planter, acre, baler they were all the same to me When I grow up a farmer is all I ever wanna be I know that he was tired but he would sit and watch me play In my imagination I was really making hay =Chorus=
I graduated highschool just before I turned eightteen Two years into college when I had a change of dreams I’d wear a dank old necktie like those city fellows do I’d move out in the suburbs like a million other fools
I met a brown haired beauty who was sweet as she could be The day that we were married he stood right there next to me I knew that he was tired and he seemed so out of place He never said a word but it was written on his face
=Chorus= I couldn’t read the signs when she was falling out of love The more he turned the lonelier till she’d finally had enough So I’d pack up my suits and ties and gave them all away And headed for the country just in time for making hay
No I won’t be mistaken for a man of high degree ‘Cause I was born a farmer and that’s all I’ll ever be
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 12, 2015 16:51:48 GMT -5
I think WRITING is good therapy! I relate well to both musicians and writers. Everyone has a story that needs told...Thankful for authors as reading is also good therapy for me. Takes my mind off worries and stressors. I discovered in 1999 that I COULD write. It was a wonderful discovery. Since then, I have written numerous songs and put them to music. They've been well received for the most part and that gives me a good feeling. Except for one person who accused me of having 'too much time on my hands' and that's why I came up with the songs I wrote. Such is not the case. I DON'T have too much time on my hands. I simply took the time to write; made the time to write. I remember finding some 'place' to let go of thoughts and feelings and ideas, etc. Let it flow. Yes, writing is good therapy...Thank-you admin. for maintaining this board and letting us write here.
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Post by dmmichgood on Mar 13, 2015 0:12:26 GMT -5
A few thoughts on wound healing that might be helpful: I'll use the analogy of healing physical wounds, as that is what I am quite familiar with and I am sure this will barely scratch the surface as it is quite a large and fascinating topic. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another thing that needs to be taken care if it is a problem is that of dead tissue. Sometimes wounds need to be debrided of the old dead tissue. This isn't always a lot of fun for the patient and hopefully whoever does the debriding will pre-medicate, but the dead tissue can impede healing. It's not good for the wound. You know there are lot of people in this world simply walking around with a bunch of dead tissue. They may not even be aware of it; it's become a part of them. But it needs to gotten rid of so new healthy tissue can take it's place. That debriding bit caught my attention!
When I worked at an out-patient clinic at Philadelphia General hospital, we had a leg ulcer clinic where people would come to change a leg boot that we made out of gauze & some kind of a semi-liquid stuff that had to be melted. Gauze was put on the leg in alternating layers of this "stuff." Any way, once when one old boot was cut off, out rolled a bunch of maggots! They had debrided that ulcer cleaner that anything that we could ever have done.
The poor man was terribly embarrassed, but it was nothing he had done. Those boots just got really cruddy sometimes from having to drag them around for so long.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 13, 2015 14:14:04 GMT -5
A few thoughts on wound healing that might be helpful: I'll use the analogy of healing physical wounds, as that is what I am quite familiar with and I am sure this will barely scratch the surface as it is quite a large and fascinating topic. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another thing that needs to be taken care if it is a problem is that of dead tissue. Sometimes wounds need to be debrided of the old dead tissue. This isn't always a lot of fun for the patient and hopefully whoever does the debriding will pre-medicate, but the dead tissue can impede healing. It's not good for the wound. You know there are lot of people in this world simply walking around with a bunch of dead tissue. They may not even be aware of it; it's become a part of them. But it needs to gotten rid of so new healthy tissue can take it's place. That debriding bit caught my attention!
When I worked at an out-patient clinic at Philadelphia General hospital, we had a leg ulcer clinic where people would come to change a leg boot that we made out of gauze & some kind of a semi-liquid stuff that had to be melted. Gauze was put on the leg in alternating layers of this "stuff." Any way, once when one old boot was cut off, out rolled a bunch of maggots! They had debrided that ulcer cleaner that anything that we could ever have done.
The poor man was terribly embarrassed, but it was nothing he had done. Those boots just got really cruddy sometimes from having to drag them around for so long.
Interesting! I have heard that in some places now they are actually employing maggot therapy for wound debridement on purpose. Sounds gross and I don't how good the patients are with it, but it's true that maggots are just doing the job they exist to do: feed on dead tissue.
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Post by bubbles on Mar 13, 2015 16:39:10 GMT -5
True about dead tissue (and the rest too). I have skin cancer so I know the importance of burning the dead tissue from precancerous spots so that healthy tissue can grow. I can totally see the analogy with emotional pain. Many times we aren't even aware of the painful things we carry emotionally until something triggers them. An example of that was a couple of years ago in a restaurant there was a child acting up. He was about 3 and being a bit fussy. His dad grabbed him and started to carry him out of the restaurant and the kid just started screaming, terrified, screaming, no Daddy!! no Daddy, please Daddy and I froze. I started to shake and cry. That was me being hauled out of meetings and I knew I was going to get a beating and I was so scared. I never realized I still carried that with me until I heard that little boys terrified screams. We do need to work through things from our past or we never quite heal. Things that can still trigger us to that degree need to be dealt with. Most of the time we aren't even aware they are there until they are triggered. But then you can do something about the healing once you are aware. It is amasing how our mind blocks it out. I know with CSA kids they would block out the event. Until one day it surfaces as a result if a trigger. It seems like a coping mechanism.
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Post by kurtzphil69 on Mar 13, 2015 19:38:52 GMT -5
That debriding bit caught my attention!
When I worked at an out-patient clinic at Philadelphia General hospital, we had a leg ulcer clinic where people would come to change a leg boot that we made out of gauze & some kind of a semi-liquid stuff that had to be melted. Gauze was put on the leg in alternating layers of this "stuff." Any way, once when one old boot was cut off, out rolled a bunch of maggots! They had debrided that ulcer cleaner that anything that we could ever have done.
The poor man was terribly embarrassed, but it was nothing he had done. Those boots just got really cruddy sometimes from having to drag them around for so long.
Interesting! I have heard that in some places now they are actually employing maggot therapy for wound debridement on purpose. Sounds gross and I don't how good the patients are with it, but it's true that maggots are just doing the job they exist to do: feed on dead tissue. So then, 'ladies'...how does a person go about debriding an emotional wound? Maggots are not going to work for that. Feel free to be specific.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 13, 2015 19:57:17 GMT -5
True about dead tissue (and the rest too). I have skin cancer so I know the importance of burning the dead tissue from precancerous spots so that healthy tissue can grow. I can totally see the analogy with emotional pain. Many times we aren't even aware of the painful things we carry emotionally until something triggers them. An example of that was a couple of years ago in a restaurant there was a child acting up. He was about 3 and being a bit fussy. His dad grabbed him and started to carry him out of the restaurant and the kid just started screaming, terrified, screaming, no Daddy!! no Daddy, please Daddy and I froze. I started to shake and cry. That was me being hauled out of meetings and I knew I was going to get a beating and I was so scared. I never realized I still carried that with me until I heard that little boys terrified screams. We do need to work through things from our past or we never quite heal. Things that can still trigger us to that degree need to be dealt with. Most of the time we aren't even aware they are there until they are triggered. But then you can do something about the healing once you are aware. It is amasing how our mind blocks it out. I know with CSA kids they would block out the event. Until one day it surfaces as a result if a trigger. It seems like a coping mechanism. Blocking things out (for a time) is definitely a coping mechanism...it can be very effective too. But, like you pointed out, it will likely resurface. Memory is an interesting thing.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 13, 2015 20:13:21 GMT -5
Interesting! I have heard that in some places now they are actually employing maggot therapy for wound debridement on purpose. Sounds gross and I don't how good the patients are with it, but it's true that maggots are just doing the job they exist to do: feed on dead tissue. So then, 'ladies'...how does a person go about debriding an emotional wound? Maggots are not going to work for that. Feel free to be specific. How? First of all, very carefully. If not done right, it can make things worse. There are professionals who are good at helping with this. I am inclined to believe there needs to be a type of purging of the heart and soul. What is going to work for one person may not work for the other. But the first STEP is to be honest and take an honest look at the wound in good lighting so you know what you're dealing with first. Is there a LOT of dead tissue involved and how can it be removed without inflicting more pain on the person and/or making matters worse? Debriding physical wounds can be a painful process for some patients. It all depends on what nerve endings are involved, the person's own pain tolerance and then perhaps the gentleness in which it is done. Sometimes it's so extensive people need to have anesthesia for proper and thorough debridement. In other cases, it can be done in a clinic setting under a local with pain meds too. It all depends. It's not straightforward and I have deep respect for folks who specialize in wound care. There are professionals who specialize in emotional wound care as well. But a lot of folks try to debride their own emotional wounds themselves in various ways/methods.One of the most common methods that people use to purge themselves is distraction, I suppose. So they go out and get drunk or use mind altering substances to distract themselves and purge themselves. Others overeat (and then purge). Many people who have been abused, especially sexually abuses develop eating disorders. Maybe this isn't specific enough, but I am not sure emotional healing is ever that specific. For some people it is a matter of time and distance with the PROCESS of replacing dead tissue with live tissue. For others it involves direct confrontation with the source of pain. There are no pat answers.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 13, 2015 20:26:46 GMT -5
I will also add that many professionals are drawn to it because of their own issues they have worked through and they can be tremendously helpful in helping others. They KNOW healing is possible. I think it's helpful to believe in what you are doing when you help someone else. Is it going to work or not? If you have proof in your own life of healing you bring that positive energy to others. They may or may not buy into it, but it's a start. For some reason, folks seem to respond well to empathy...like I said earlier, this is really just scratching the surface. I haven't brought the issue of fighting infection(s) yet.
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Post by kurtzphil69 on Mar 13, 2015 22:10:38 GMT -5
So then, 'ladies'...how does a person go about debriding an emotional wound? Maggots are not going to work for that. Feel free to be specific. How? First of all, very carefully. If not done right, it can make things worse. There are professionals who are good at helping with this. I am inclined to believe there needs to be a type of purging of the heart and soul. What is going to work for one person may not work for the other. But the first STEP is to be honest and take an honest look at the wound in good lighting so you know what you're dealing with first. Is there a LOT of dead tissue involved and how can it be removed without inflicting more pain on the person and/or making matters worse? Debriding physical wounds can be a painful process for some patients. It all depends on what nerve endings are involved, the person's own pain tolerance and then perhaps the gentleness in which it is done. Sometimes it's so extensive people need to have anesthesia for proper and thorough debridement. In other cases, it can be done in a clinic setting under a local with pain meds too. It all depends. It's not straightforward and I have deep respect for folks who specialize in wound care. There are professionals who specialize in emotional wound care as well. But a lot of folks try to debride their own emotional wounds themselves in various ways/methods.One of the most common methods that people use to purge themselves is distraction, I suppose. So they go out and get drunk or use mind altering substances to distract themselves and purge themselves. Others overeat (and then purge). Many people who have been abused, especially sexually abuses develop eating disorders. Maybe this isn't specific enough, but I am not sure emotional healing is ever that specific. For some people it is a matter of time and distance with the PROCESS of replacing dead tissue with live tissue. For others it involves direct confrontation with the source of pain. There are no pat answers. But are there not healthy methods of purging that people use? Does it always have to involve getting drunk or using drugs or eating disorders? Some people turn to other forms of distraction that are effective, but not harmful to their health. Also distraction is not necessarily a type of purging. Distraction can simply be something to take one's mind off their pain.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 13, 2015 22:19:26 GMT -5
True, distraction can be used for pain relief and pain relief is part of healing. So, I guess it's either/or/both. It depends. When I was 20 years old I went through a rather bizarre relationship break-up that left me bewildered, hurting, confusing, confounded and even a bit scared. I won't go into ALL the details here, but as a nursing student at the time I knew I needed to deal with the feelings and confront the issues. It wasn't easy and it COST me, but I learned from it and did not resort to destructive habits as a result. I mainly turned to talking, music, exercise, prayer and meditation. And, I found help from the simple-minded neighbors across the street on a Christmas night that would have been spent by myself. I took my guitar over there and sang/played for them. And, they in turn shared their very simple, helpful wisdom with me. It was a precious time, surprisingly....I look back on that moment with fondness. Sometimes it's the simple wisdom that gets through to us and works.
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Post by kurtzphil69 on Mar 13, 2015 23:19:24 GMT -5
True, distraction can be used for pain relief and pain relief is part of healing. So, I guess it's either/or/both. It depends. When I was 20 years old I went through a rather bizarre relationship break-up that left me bewildered, hurting, confusing, confounded and even a bit scared. I won't go into ALL the details here, but as a nursing student at the time I knew I needed to deal with the feelings and confront the issues. It wasn't easy and it COST me, but I learned from it and did not resort to destructive habits as a result. I mainly turned to talking, music, exercise, prayer and meditation. And, I found help from the simple-minded neighbors across the street on a Christmas night that would have been spent by myself. I took my guitar over there and sang/played for them. And, they in turn shared their very simple, helpful wisdom with me. It was a precious time, surprisingly....I look back on that moment with fondness. Sometimes it's the simple wisdom that gets through to us and works. Please tell us more about this BIZARRE experience. Surely it could be a learning tool.
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Post by bitterbetty on Mar 13, 2015 23:22:21 GMT -5
True, distraction can be used for pain relief and pain relief is part of healing. So, I guess it's either/or/both. It depends. When I was 20 years old I went through a rather bizarre relationship break-up that left me bewildered, hurting, confusing, confounded and even a bit scared. I won't go into ALL the details here, but as a nursing student at the time I knew I needed to deal with the feelings and confront the issues. It wasn't easy and it COST me, but I learned from it and did not resort to destructive habits as a result. I mainly turned to talking, music, exercise, prayer and meditation. And, I found help from the simple-minded neighbors across the street on a Christmas night that would have been spent by myself. I took my guitar over there and sang/played for them. And, they in turn shared their very simple, helpful wisdom with me. It was a precious time, surprisingly....I look back on that moment with fondness. Sometimes it's the simple wisdom that gets through to us and works. Please tell us more about this BIZARRE experience. Surely it could be a learning tool. Can't get into it tonight. It's getting late and I'm getting tired. But the element of threatened suicide by a third person was brought into the equation. I had recently taken a crisis intervention course which included suicide assessment, etc. I was a bit rattled by the suicide threat, to say the least. Looking back, now I realize it could have turned out much worse than it did. Character-building to say the least!
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Post by bubbles on Mar 14, 2015 3:09:01 GMT -5
Interesting! I have heard that in some places now they are actually employing maggot therapy for wound debridement on purpose. Sounds gross and I don't how good the patients are with it, but it's true that maggots are just doing the job they exist to do: feed on dead tissue. So then, 'ladies'...how does a person go about debriding an emotional wound? Maggots are not going to work for that. Feel free to be specific. Prayer counselling.
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Post by maryhig on Mar 14, 2015 4:18:37 GMT -5
How? First of all, very carefully. If not done right, it can make things worse. There are professionals who are good at helping with this. I am inclined to believe there needs to be a type of purging of the heart and soul. What is going to work for one person may not work for the other. But the first STEP is to be honest and take an honest look at the wound in good lighting so you know what you're dealing with first. Is there a LOT of dead tissue involved and how can it be removed without inflicting more pain on the person and/or making matters worse? Debriding physical wounds can be a painful process for some patients. It all depends on what nerve endings are involved, the person's own pain tolerance and then perhaps the gentleness in which it is done. Sometimes it's so extensive people need to have anesthesia for proper and thorough debridement. In other cases, it can be done in a clinic setting under a local with pain meds too. It all depends. It's not straightforward and I have deep respect for folks who specialize in wound care. There are professionals who specialize in emotional wound care as well. But a lot of folks try to debride their own emotional wounds themselves in various ways/methods.One of the most common methods that people use to purge themselves is distraction, I suppose. So they go out and get drunk or use mind altering substances to distract themselves and purge themselves. Others overeat (and then purge). Many people who have been abused, especially sexually abuses develop eating disorders. Maybe this isn't specific enough, but I am not sure emotional healing is ever that specific. For some people it is a matter of time and distance with the PROCESS of replacing dead tissue with live tissue. For others it involves direct confrontation with the source of pain. There are no pat answers. But are there not healthy methods of purging that people use? Does it always have to involve getting drunk or using drugs or eating disorders? Some people turn to other forms of distraction that are effective, but not harmful to their health. Also distraction is not necessarily a type of purging. Distraction can simply be something to take one's mind off their pain. Some people do drink etc. to take away the pain though. Because it lifts them for that short while. It must be so hard for people who go through very painful times in their life. Especially if they don't know God! I never judge anyone, because I have empathy for them. That's why I think we go through some things we do in our lives, so we have care for others when we see the need! I've been through some tough times in my life, and I've done things I shouldn't of including getting drunk to ease the pain. But for me, the only thing that took the pain away was God, not only did God take my pain away but also the hardness I had towards a person that really hurt me. Now instead of hardness I want God to forgive him. I would never have thought like this without God because my heart was full of hurt and self pity. But with his strength I've let go, and in doing so I feel free! Because emotional pain causes just as much suffering as physical pain, so to let it go is amazing!
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Post by bubbles on Mar 14, 2015 11:35:58 GMT -5
Hmmm. Triggers. Hearing certain music is often a trigger for me. It can trigger the gamut of emotions, for sure. But I have found a lot of healing/therapy in music and started to tap into it at a very early age. It's good for what ails you...Today I enjoyed listening to my daughter learning to play a piece on the piano by Debussy. ( Clair du lune ) www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LXl4y6D-QI
Im like that with music. Other day I put on Il Divo and felt emotional with some of the songs. All sung in Italian of course..lol
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