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Post by happy on Jun 9, 2006 16:12:08 GMT -5
Do you remember, especially in convention, hearing something that just made laugh uncontrolably? My kids and I have been talking about some of these funnies.
My kids heard that God likes baseball because it says, "In the big inning....(beginning)"
I remember a worker speaking about the "stiff necked" people and it sounded like he said "naked".
Or the one about how the Bible talks about cars....when the people gathered in one accord.....
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Post by junia on Jun 9, 2006 16:22:50 GMT -5
I'm sure we could make one big thread with this one if everyone chips in!
Many years ago a man who was partially illiterate gave his testimony "Last night in the mens' dorm, I was thinking of that verse where it says "How good and pleasant for those who dwell together in unighty."
Another one said "As I sat on my thought, the bench struck me" He sat down without saying anything else.
Or the young guys singing "Nature calls me I am gooooing...forth to it outside the tent"
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Post by happy on Jun 9, 2006 16:31:24 GMT -5
I just thought of another....a woman whose second language is English read this verse: Revelation 14:10 The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation.....but pronounced it as "indigestion"! ;D
.....could be appropriate!
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Post by mrleo unplugged on Jun 9, 2006 17:15:28 GMT -5
This never occurred in a meeting (that I know of), but I've heard the following joke and have been unable to find an actual scripture to match it: Who is the most elastic man in the Bible? Absalom--he tied his ass to a tree and walked 20 miles. I've seen different versions. Sometimes it's a different OT character, sometimes a different distance walked. Anyone know where this originated?
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towit
Senior Member
. . .with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right. . .
Posts: 295
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Post by towit on Jun 9, 2006 17:32:09 GMT -5
From the Book of Job, Bildad the Shuhite (shoe height). Yep, that's short.
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Post by another 1 on Jun 9, 2006 18:05:57 GMT -5
It mentions smoking in the bible... "and seeing Isaac, Rebecca lit off her camel"
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Post by as i c it on Jun 9, 2006 18:21:33 GMT -5
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Post by selah on Jun 9, 2006 18:32:37 GMT -5
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A: Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Q: Who were the three shortest men in the Bible? A: Bildad the shoe-height, Knee-high Miah, and the man who fell asleep On His Watch.
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Politically Incorrect
Guest
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Post by Politically Incorrect on Jun 9, 2006 18:32:47 GMT -5
Why are Jewish men circumcised?
Jewish women like everything 20% off.
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Post by OzE on Jun 10, 2006 1:32:24 GMT -5
My Uncle is known to have said, many moons ago, when he read this verse out in a meeting....
And when he had apprehended him, he put him in prison, and delivered him to four quarter onions (quarternions) of soldiers to keep him; intending after Easter to bring him forth to the people.
Because it became a family "joke" he did it again years later because he couldn't think past the quarter onions.
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Post by Nadine unlogged on Jun 10, 2006 10:50:47 GMT -5
Did you know Jesus was an Indian?
He was Chief Cornerstone.
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Post by selah on Jun 10, 2006 16:20:30 GMT -5
Interesting note....
Did you know there is more than one Jesus in the bible?
Colossians 4:11a
Jesus, who is called Justus, also sends greetings.
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Post by Randolph on Jun 10, 2006 17:55:44 GMT -5
Did you know that Moses had a motorbike ?
"The sound of his triumph was heard throughout the land !"
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Post by Randolph on Jun 10, 2006 18:00:51 GMT -5
Did you know Jesus was a cowpoke who kept his six-gun alongside his hoss ?
Remember he sent two dudes to see a guy about colt of an ass.
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Post by Ty Wilson on Jun 10, 2006 18:04:26 GMT -5
Remember the Roman Soldier who did not feel worthy to ask Jesus to heal his servant and got a Russian to approach him instead ?
He "sent Uri in !"
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Post by recentarriver on Jun 11, 2006 15:46:06 GMT -5
My favorite (even tho I am Female) The Bible teaches it won't be possible for women to be in Heaven. Rev.8:1
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