Post by peggysullivan on Nov 19, 2023 20:50:06 GMT -5
He was leaning against the wall when I first saw him. What caught my attention first was he looked a little out of place. His arm was in a sling. He looked like he had seen better days.
So I stopped and asked him if he was okay. He said, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just waiting for that guy to bring my papers because I forgot them. I was supposed to bring them with me. So, I asked if he had had dinner. He said no. So, I said. Well, why don't you have a bite to eat while you wait. So I brought him some food and he seemed to like it fine.
After dinner I asked him if he was in pain. He said no, it doesn't hurt yet. But it probably will by tomorrow.
As the evening went on, he didn't ask for much. I checked in with him on that. Then he said.....
"The truth is I'm a loner. I don't really have anybody because I'm hard to be around. The truth is, "I'm basically an a$$. So, you should probably know that about me."
Whoa......
Well, I guess that's honest!
But later....the tears.....they came and they came hard. Why do I make people cry? I really don't mean to. But they cry with me. He went on to say he was afraid. Afraid of the future. Afraid he always seems to drive people away. He said he was a jerk. And people don't like to be around him. He said for most of his life that worked just fine because he liked to be left alone anyway.
But on this night, he cried. And cried. He was afraid his independence would be snatched away. And the thought of depending on others wasn't something he wanted. He wanted to rely on himself alone. Alone. It was better that way, he said. People would steel his peace and he might never get it back. People would horn in on his thoughts and then he would be able to think straight. People always did that, you know? No matter how it started out, they ended up doing that. Robbing you of all sorts of things. They wanted to change you. They never accepted you just as you are. So, I learned to be an a$$ and people would leave me alone.
So I stopped and asked him if he was okay. He said, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just waiting for that guy to bring my papers because I forgot them. I was supposed to bring them with me. So, I asked if he had had dinner. He said no. So, I said. Well, why don't you have a bite to eat while you wait. So I brought him some food and he seemed to like it fine.
After dinner I asked him if he was in pain. He said no, it doesn't hurt yet. But it probably will by tomorrow.
As the evening went on, he didn't ask for much. I checked in with him on that. Then he said.....
"The truth is I'm a loner. I don't really have anybody because I'm hard to be around. The truth is, "I'm basically an a$$. So, you should probably know that about me."
Whoa......
Well, I guess that's honest!
But later....the tears.....they came and they came hard. Why do I make people cry? I really don't mean to. But they cry with me. He went on to say he was afraid. Afraid of the future. Afraid he always seems to drive people away. He said he was a jerk. And people don't like to be around him. He said for most of his life that worked just fine because he liked to be left alone anyway.
But on this night, he cried. And cried. He was afraid his independence would be snatched away. And the thought of depending on others wasn't something he wanted. He wanted to rely on himself alone. Alone. It was better that way, he said. People would steel his peace and he might never get it back. People would horn in on his thoughts and then he would be able to think straight. People always did that, you know? No matter how it started out, they ended up doing that. Robbing you of all sorts of things. They wanted to change you. They never accepted you just as you are. So, I learned to be an a$$ and people would leave me alone.