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Post by Admin on Apr 20, 2023 19:39:30 GMT -5
Thread for correspondence from concerned friends & some workers, with scriptural wisdom and suggestions for the church of F&W.
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Post by Admin on Apr 20, 2023 19:44:22 GMT -5
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Post by Admin on Apr 21, 2023 20:56:17 GMT -5
This is a letter written by a sister worker in Eastern Canada. Dear Friends, The past few weeks you have been hit with a tremendous amount of difficult news. As hard as it is to talk about and hear these things, it is much safer and healthier to have them out in the open where they can be dealt with. The shocking truth that many of you are just seeing now is this: that there are workers and overseers who are abusive. That there are workers and overseers who are willing to lie, manipulate, ignore and minimize in order to cover up abuse. It may sometimes seem like we are all in on it, that “workers” as a whole are complicit in this outrageous abuse, to varying degrees. There are many of us who have been fighting as hard as we can to have these issues addressed transparently and in a way that prevents further abuse. There may be more of us than you realize who feel like you do: betrayed, distressed and eager for things to improve. I could have written you years ago and told you this: as a worker on your staff here in Québec and Atlantic Canada I was abused by several of my coworkers. There were other workers on our staff who did not abuse me directly, but who participated in spreading rumours about me, making me feel unwelcome on our staff, and who stood by while the abuse occurred. There are others still who have been a wonderful support, and for them I am thankful. Why didn’t I write sooner? Why didn’t I tell you this as soon as it happened? I was told explicitly and repeatedly that if the friends (including my immediate natural family) ever found out what had happened and what was happening still, that they would get discouraged, stop going to meeting, and ultimately lose their salvation. In other words, if I told you that I had been abused, I would be responsible for your lost eternity. If there is one way to strike fear into the heart of a zealous young worker just starting out, that is it: tell them they will send people to Hell by talking about their experiences. There are things that happen within the kingdom that are difficult to understand and accept as true, as we assume they have no place among God’s people or ministry. There are many reasons victims are not taken seriously when abuse allegations against workers are brought forward. Some of these hurdles include: • Belief that workers are perfect • Belief that overseers are chosen by the Spirit and led by God in their decision-making • Belief that if severe abuse had occurred, it would have been dealt with properly and it would have been disclosed (When a worker remains active or is moved to another province/area to labour, it casts doubt on a victim’s credibility) • Reports from other workers and friends that the accused worker is “appreciated” and “helpful” • Belief that young workers are weaker or less willing • Belief that a worker with thirty years in the work is more credible than a worker who has been active for only a few years • Belief that young workers struggle in the work because of their personal histories, underlying ‘nerve problems’, wanting marriage/a home/children/etc. and not because of the treatment they receive from their coworkers • Belief that a worker who is abusive will be identifiable by their spirit • Belief that abuse is always obvious and recognizable • Belief that victims will always understand what happened and be able to clearly identify it (this may include understanding or articulating why they had to leave the work) • Belief that these issues are best dealt with by older brother workers • Belief that older brothers approach these issues with compassion and concern • Belief that issues like these are not minimized or covered up Those have sometimes seemed like impossible hurdles to clear. If talking about what happened to me was going to be helpful and productive, I would need to be believed. My voice, my story, would have to triumph over all of these deeply ingrained and closely held beliefs. What chance did I have? What chance did any of us victims have? We had already been dismissed by our overseers, scoffed at by fellow workers, called liars and troublemakers and rebels. We had already been regarded as weak and unwilling. We had already been re- victimized every time we tried to talk about what happened. And, worst of all, despite our very best efforts to protect our sisters and brothers and you friends, we had to watch as our abusers were given access to other innocent people. We had tried to sound the warning, and we had been thoroughly shot down. We took the course of action that we were told was appropriate. It was not sufficient. I know that, for many of you, hearing about workers behaving in inappropriate and criminal ways is a huge shock. I know that the shock of hearing hurts. And the last thing I want is to hurt you. But allowing these evils to flourish in our midst is even more hurtful than hearing the truth. Covering up abuse and creating an environment for it to flourish is the most damaging thing we can do to one another. And so, I love you all enough to tell you the truth, to be honest about what has been going on. How can I express how much I love you all? Your care and sincerity and love for God has kept me active in the work. I have continued, even when I thought it was absolutely impossible, that I had finally reached the last of my strength and breathed my last spiritual breath, because every single day I was with you – God’s people, his sheep, the bride he is preparing for his son. And I could see how much he loves you. And I could see that he wants vessels available to bring you his word. He wants you to be fed and nurtured. And he wants a living expression of his care here on earth. And so, if he was willing to use me to minister to you, I would do everything possible to fill that place and to keep filling it for as long as I possibly could. There are wonderful, sincere, zealous workers who have been unable to continue in the work. They love you too, and did everything they could to be able to stay. When I started in the work, I wasn’t totally naive. I knew that workers are people. I knew that workers aren’t perfect. I knew that they make mistakes. What shocked me to my core was to find out that workers were immoral and they still continued in the work, even when other workers knew what they were doing. I knew that being in the work wouldn’t always be easy. I knew there would be times when I would struggle. I knew that my relationships with my coworkers wouldn’t always be perfect, that sometimes we would disagree. But what I couldn’t believe, what I still struggle to believe even after all these years of it being made abundantly clear, is that there would be workers who would hate me. Who would actually despise me. Who would make me feel like they wished I was dead. Who would do everything they could to try and get me to leave the work. Who would concoct stories about me to turn others against me. It was very difficult to believe that there were people who deliberately wanted to hurt myself and others. It was much easier to believe that I was the problem, and they did a very good job of convincing me that I was. That I was weak. Unwilling. Rebellious. Worthless. That I had misinterpreted things. That I was exaggerating. It was very helpful to have some things recorded on paper about my experiences, evidence I could turn to that showed I hadn’t invented or exaggerated anything. It was very helpful to have the support of fellow workers who had experienced similar things from the same people; we could assure one another that we were not alone in the struggle. There were professionals who confirmed that what we were experiencing was emotional/psychological abuse. Above all, I had a loving God and a very compassionate Saviour who were always very close to me, who heard my cry and regarded every tear that fell. Their deep, tender hearts preserved my life and gave me courage to keep going. When my story was repeatedly called into question, dismissed, minimized, and disregarded, I wondered if I’d failed to adequately express it. I decided the failure of the overseers to take adequate action was my fault, that if I had explained things more clearly they would understand the extent of the damage and how badly I had been hurt. How it had very nearly killed me. I wondered if they would have acted if I’d spoken louder. Or if I’d been quieter. Or if I had been more articulate. Or maybe I was too articulate, and they couldn’t see my pain. Maybe if I’d been more passionate. If my emotions had been more raw. Or maybe my emotions overwhelmed them or made me seem weak, and I should have tempered them. Maybe then they would have listened. Maybe then they would have understood. I heard some of my brothers and sisters’ cries for help. I heard them and they are lodged forever in my heart. They were not faint. They were not insignificant. I can believe, then, that my own cry was worthy of regarding as well. That when I wept in the presence of these men with oversight, it should have touched their hearts. That when I described the horrors I had experienced, it should have awakened a need to act. Our overseers heard our cries and they turned their back and walked away. God hears even our faintest cry. And it matters to him. Love is the most powerful thing we have. I didn’t expect being in the work to be perfect. But I did expect that we would love each other. After all, what is even the point if we don’t? What are we here for if not to care and nourish and protect each other? What is our foundation if it is not divine love? My dear friends, I have tried every avenue available to me to make this situation better. I have been unable to make changes significant enough to prevent further abuse, or even to fully heal myself. We need your help. I can give you no clear instruction about what is the appropriate way forward. It’s not my place to do so. I just plead with you all to pray fervently and with this desire and intent: that God’s will be accomplished here on earth as it is in Heaven. That we will all be willing for our part in making his kingdom healthy and safe and right. That we will take action when we need to, in standing for the truth, in joining the battle for the truth. That we will speak when words are necessary. That we will serve God and not man. I may never fully trust any human being ever again. That is something that the enemy, who is a thief, has taken away from me. But I will continue to trust God, who does not and cannot lie. God is faithful. God loves us, and isn’t trying to hurt us. Satan wants this to tear us all away from God. God is grieved more than any of us. He hates this evil more than we even have the capacity to. He has prepared an eternal destination for all of these things: evil thoughts, adultery, fornication, murder, theft, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness/ lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy/slander, pride/arrogance and folly. These things proceed from the heart. And they defile us. They defile us as individuals first. If they are not taken care of and removed, they defile the kingdom. They defile our fellowship. They defile our relationships as coworkers. They defile our fellowship meetings. They defile our conventions, and every special privilege. They defile our conversations. They defile our homes. God has made it very clear how he feels about these things, and that they are to have no place among us. Have we truly examined what these things are, and how they take place? What does envy actually look like? What does malice sound like? What does it feel like to be at the receiving end of an evil eye? We must be searched and made right. We must be brought into the light. God has opened his heart and mind very wide to us. He has let us see into the depths of who he is. Why would we ever try to hide who and what we are from him? There are many many times on record when God had to root out problems from among his people. These problems are here. They are massive. And they are destructive. So, will we sit back and let them eat away at our fellowship, our peace, our relationship with God? Or will we be honest and truly repent. God has healed his people before and he can do it again. But not if we keep denying that there are problems. Not if we slap a bandaid on gaping wounds and declare “peace, peace” where there is no peace. Not if we go about covering our eyes and plugging our ears. Not if we prophesy like the false prophets of old – making hollow promises and pretending there is no need to change. God’s people, his way on the earth, his work in each of our hearts – it is too precious to let the enemy destroy. Do not let the enemy rob us. Do not let the enemy strip away our honesty, muddy the waters and confuse us. Don’t let him corrupt God’s ministry. We can all have a part in rebuilding the spiritual wall that keeps these corrupt things out. We can all have a revelation of what is true, and we can all stand on those convictions. We can all serve God with our whole heart. Isn’t it marvellous that God set it up that way: our worship, our service takes place in such a way that there is no power on earth or heaven that can stop it. No one can stop us from loving, from caring about souls, from adoring our God, from knowing our Saviour. What the enemy can do is try to disrupt the part of our fellowship that takes place in more temporal ways, the part of our service that is manifest physically and emotionally. And if he can thoroughly discourage that, he knows that he can begin to chip away at our hearts, our revelations, our convictions, our beliefs. Satan isn’t content to just hurt our bodies and minds, because he knows that, while precious, they are temporary. He wants to destroy our souls. There are many types of abuse. Experts and lawmakers and psychologists are beginning to understand emotional/psychological abuse better and better. As a result, they are addressing it in more direct and proactive ways: in workplaces, schools, government, etc. It can be difficult to understand, identify and eliminate. While it is not as immediately disgusting as sexual abuse, or as visible as physical abuse, it can be just as severe and have many of the same consequences for victims. It can also be fatal. We shouldn’t be this far behind on these issues. After all, we are not just expected to abide by the laws of the land, or of common decency. We are expected to live even higher than that, and live according to the law of love and kindness. We have heard of other staffs implementing codes of conduct concerning Child Sexual Abuse. Our staff has not done so, and it should. I am also attempting to draft a code of conduct for coworker relationships. I fear that many other workers, including our overseers, will be resistant to implement such a thing. I wish that the scriptural guidelines we have would be enough; they should be enough. But maybe we need to be a little more specific about what is and is not appropriate behaviour. The code would be used: 1. To help workers identify and recognize when inappropriate behaviour occurs with a coworker. To help them discuss the behaviour in a productive way, with the hopes of abuse being prevented. In the case of severe and/or repeated violations of this code, it would assist in decisions being made to prevent further abuse and to take the necessary steps to protect vulnerable parties. (This may mean the abusive worker is asked to step down from the work and/or receive counselling.) 2. To help workers recognize their own behaviour and work toward being a healthier, safer companion. (Behaviour is often learned, and could be a product of how this worker was treated when they were younger. That does not make it appropriate. It is the responsibility of the worker to recognize abusive behaviour and to make every effort to not be abusive.) May God’s grace and love guide us as we go forward. Yours in Him, Alanna Note: This letter is written to the friends in fields where I have laboured. I apologize for any email addresses from these fields that got missed. These include: Saint John, NB; Eastern Townships and Québec, QC; Western Newfoundland and Cape Breton, NS; Miramichi, NB; Moncton, NB. In my heart, I was addressing the friends specifically in these areas. I appreciate all of God’s people. All are very precious in God’s eyes and deserve to know the truth.
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Post by Admin on Apr 21, 2023 21:11:12 GMT -5
Dear Friends, Why didn’t I write sooner? Why didn’t I tell you this as soon as it happened? I was told explicitly and repeatedly that if the friends (including my immediate natural family) ever found out what had happened and what was happening still, that they would get discouraged, stop going to meeting, and ultimately lose their salvation. In other words, if I told you that I had been abused, I would be responsible for your lost eternity. If there is one way to strike fear into the heart of a zealous young worker just starting out, that is it: tell them they will send people to Hell by talking about their experiences. Sad. Tragically sad. And so so wrong and false doctrinally. This poor young lady worker, you are loved dearly for your principled stand! The message needs to be understood, by all who believe in the God of Abraham and in the bible as His word and truth to us, that if your hope of salvation is by belonging to the meeting fellowship, and not in JESUS CHRIST ALONE, then you need to grasp the anchor of God's truth (not man's wisdom). Acts 4: This Jesus is ‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone.’ Salvation exists in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.” When they saw the boldness of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they marveled and took note that these men had been with Jesus. Hymn 'In Christ Alone' youtu.be/16KYvfIc2bE
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Post by Admin on Apr 22, 2023 17:49:12 GMT -5
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Post by Admin on Apr 23, 2023 16:21:06 GMT -5
What a wordy way of saying, "Be subservient to the workers". I recall a discussion with MG at Masterton once along similar lines, about a trivial matter (putting hot water into the cold water tank so the boys could have warm showers) He said even if the workers are wrong, your are right to do as they say. And then the kicker, "Your salvation is on their shoulders".It is subservience that has part-enabled the current situation unfolding before our eyes.
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Post by mod5 on May 4, 2023 1:34:36 GMT -5
To helpful hands and voices, We so appreciate your offers to help in this massive undertaking. We are making progress in extensive proportions and could use your help in these following areas. 1. Promote the hotline: Through the hotline we are collecting an extensive amount of evidence that is crucial. Many more people still are unaware of the hotline and every time it goes to someone new, that might provide an important piece to the puzzle to help make everyone safer. 2. Promote the website and social media sites: There are countless victim survivors in need of resources. Our website has many resources and several places that people can donate to the charity of their choice. (We are currently working on additional donation avenues that will hopefully be up within a week.) These funds will go towards victim recovery, legal, investigative costs and expenses. (We are all currently working pro bono and have for quite sometime.) Exposure of the website will not only help survivors, it will provide updates and bring additional victims forward. Safety in numbers! Share the website with people not affiliated with the Truth, as many people will donate to good causes. 3. Talk about the issue at hand (sex abuse and child sex abuse) in terms of the survivors. This acknowledges them and encourages them to find and use their voice to be heard. Many, many of them for the first time in their lives are finding their voices. We are striving for a survivor-centric focus instead of the current perpetrator-centric focus and narrative. 4. Learn from the resources provided on the website on how to identify a potential problem or suspicious behavior and then report to law enforcement immediately. 5. Speak to Workers and Overseers and demand that the known perpetrators turn themselves into law enforcement immediately. 6. If you personally know a survivor, please encourage them to seek professional help. The impact of being abused affects every aspect of a person's life. If they are willing to file charges, let them know we will walk through this process with them. Thank you for your offer to help. Together we are making our world a safer place! Sheri Autrey, Cynthia Liles, & Lauren Rohs Please forward to family and friends www.advocatesforthetruth.com
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Post by Admin on May 12, 2023 17:44:06 GMT -5
Written by a professing couple and posted with their permission.
May 9, 2023 Dear Folks, We want to ask for your input on what follows below. Your suggestions are needed for how to encourage change, as there are many people with serious concerns about the Ministry. Also please feel free to share this message as this is about transparency, accountability and honesty. A few months ago, when the CSA tipping point arrived in our collective view, we knew that there were very few people that would be willing to tackle this matter. However, over the last couple of months there has been momentum growing and people that were previously reluctant to speak up and stand out are now doing so. We truly value the blessings that flow from Fellowship in the Spirit but without unity true fellowship through the Spirit is not possible. Going into a future where there are camps of those that support the status quo and those that do not will destroy unity, which we are already experiencing. Most of you know we have had an unsanctioned Sunday meeting for the last 6 weeks or so and we have had some of our most precious meetings in that time, with the Spirit very clearly present. If our hearts and true intentions are of God, we will get true bread and we will be strengthened. This is a storm and foundations are getting tested. Unfortunately the foundations of the Ministry are being shaken and are not faring very well. We don’t intend to write this as a “call to battle” or as people looking for a platform of support to further a personal agenda – far from it. We would gladly pass this on to anyone else better equipped to handle this. We are motivated by the Love of our Fellowship and of the Doctrine of Jesus and find the hurt that people are experiencing too much to just stand by and observe. We pray for Gods guidance every day in this, and we have Faith that the Spirit will be with us and will guide us. List of possible changes: These are suggestions and we ask for your input please: No more Overseers as we know it. The oversight of the Ministry be both Servant and Saint (men and women). Elders and Overseers are interchangeable in the New Testament. This will promote balance, accountability and transparency. Accountability and transparency of how Ministry money is spent and a return to living by Faith. Do away with the “culture of conformance” (as opposed to following Doctrine) and fear of being sidelined or ostracized. Keep an active watch against Cultism. The Ministry culture of male dominance, power and weaponization of fear must stop. The latter should apply to the friends as well. Administrative and planning meetings to not be held by Overseers only, but a combination of Servant and Saint. Convention time workers’ meetings to include Elders and Deacons. We need transparency, not secrecy. New workers be screened for suitability. Life experience – paid rent, held down a job, etc. [No] Criminal past. The work should not be a place for people who have no other options, as this becomes a natural reason applied to a sacred calling. Workers are not immune to being questioned about their actions. - this should be about open, transparent and constructive communication in the Spirit of Christ. The Spirit of Christ does no harm to a neighbour, so a culture that results in so many traumatized friends and workers both male and female, needs to be urgently addressed. Stay away from politics and socio-political issues. Other thoughts: For many years there has been a culture of covering up bad news and we believe that in some cases the intentions were noble but severely flawed. One such reasoning was that we don’t want bad news to discourage the sheep. However the sheep walk before God as individuals. We will be disappointed in man from time to time and we should not be surprised or discouraged by it. Secrecy is discouraging, not transparency. Again we welcome any suggestions and understand that we may not all agree with each other but Prayer, Love and Grace will enable us to come together and with God’s help fix the Fellowship we love and cherish. You can text us with any input, feedback or suggestions. Our contact details: Jeremy cell REDACTED Leonie cell REDACTED Kind regards, Jeremy and Leonie Tomlinson
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Post by Admin on May 12, 2023 18:10:16 GMT -5
A call to arms
May 11 From a professing author and their family, who would like to add their voice for victim-survivor support and advocating for change going forward.
My family roots can be traced back to a Senator friend of Lincoln's who took a stand for abolition and was beaten on the Senate floor, later dying of his injuries. He took a stand for what was right in the biggest fight of his generation without fully knowing or caring about the cost, as did Lincoln. That said, we are also descendants of a Northern President who remains a stain on American history. That man with his pro-slavery ignorance, lack of empathy, greed and hunger for power was insatiable at the expense of so many innocent people. His ignorance over 150 years ago doesn't define us or our values today.
My great grandmother bravely took a stand for what was right at great cost by kicking my abusive great grandfather out of the house and raising 9 kids on her own during the Great Depression. I'm told they had their share of eating lard and cornmeal as well as wearing homemade potato sack clothing.
We also have a deceased relative by marriage - she was married at 14YO with parents’ permission to a 20+YO man many decades past. She raised several capable children, built homes and businesses and never considered herself a survivor to my limited knowledge.
In our family history, we have both pride and shame; good and evil; joy and sorrow interwoven. People who will be remembered for their wickedness aside, we accept that there is a measure of good and bad in all of us. We accept that cultures change with time, and sometimes at great cost to the people willing to advocate and even agitate for change. We accept that some of what we practice is just tradition, and not doctrine. Practices and the way we deal with this issue in particular can and must change significantly.
Our collective and personal past shaped who we are today, and we have some choice in what we dwell on, and what we chose to do with it. We can choose when and what battles we fight and how we apply ourselves. Many of us are fortunate to have been spared, but we acknowledge that many were not. We have some choice in practicing resilience when we can find the strength, and we have a duty to protect and help others when we can. If knowing what we know now, in educating ourselves through recurring ministry safe training, we sit and expect others to make all of the changes, we might wait for a long time.
If we bicker among ourselves, we'll delay progress. If we ask for or promise the impossible, we'll remain disappointed. If we stop at training and don't implement child safe, code of conduct and zero tolerance policies we've done way too little. If we write policies but don't take action, we'll have accomplished next to nothing. If we make assumptions, assuming the worst about people who do not have allegations of this type against them, we'll collaterally damage people who are also committed to making changes.
That said, we can't continue with a lack of transparency and failure to report to law enforcement promptly. If we simply look forward with blinders on, and don't purge the wickedness of the past from among us, it won't be nearly enough. Let's advocate for and embrace change together regardless of our differences, encouraging each other in this fight for progress and clearer, better informed thinking and actions. It's easy to criticize, and I'm sure there is much to criticize in what I've already said. I recognize I have a lot to learn. Let's focus on the big picture in supporting and helping those who are leading both inside and outside - to offer ideas, and be advocates for change together.
As parents, we recognize a shared responsibility for keeping our children safe, and we expect the enforcement of our laws, together with our communities to help accomplish this goal. We understand there are risks, and we do what we can in our limited knowledge and ability to live life with balance while managing the risks.
My family lives in a big city. There are registered offenders in our neighborhood, yet I take my kids to the park. No one notifies me when we go to the park which people are offenders and where they are at any given moment. I go with my children to the park to manage this risk. I grocery shop where these same people probably shop, and frankly I'm glad I don't know which ones are offenders or I'd walk around with a curled lip, disgusted by them and probably working on some way to chew them out.
There have been offending teachers and coaches in the past at other schools, but my kids go to school and play soccer where adults are background checked and supervised with rules for safe interaction. We expect all suspected abusers to be fired promptly, and all potentially impacted families to be notified when these things happen to children in our schools or sports organizations. There have been bullying and harrasment cases at large companies, but my wife and I go to work.
We can't blame overseers as a group and expect overseers to fix all of our problems. Many of them are working hard on this issue as they are hearing from many of us, and many of them recognize big changes are long overdue like never before, the same as we do.
We share responsibility with our overseers and workers to get informed and make changes. We can't blame all workers as a group - that's naive, unhelpfully oversimplifying this problem, and incredibly unfair. The vast majority are wonderful people.
Some elders and friends have also behaved criminally in the past as have individuals in every other large group of people throughout time and across cultures, but that doesn't mean that you or I are criminals too. There have clearly been both many good, and too many who will be remembered as criminal individuals in every profession, country and historical period. There are laws in every nation on earth because of this.
We should have started this long ago, but can't go back in time. It is our duty to accomplish the necessary changes now in our generation. In our generation we have both the responsibility and ability to take a stand for what is right, and to stand against what is wrong, to be better informed and advocate for justice. We should together commit ourselves to that noble purpose.
It is imperative we make any and every change needed within scripture to purge this evil from among us to the best of our collective ability (I Cor 5). We acknowledge that we are just getting started, that we are learning and don't know everything about anything. We know that significant changes can take time but we expect rapid, continual progress of ourselves and of the group on this issue. We appreciate the leaders and professionally trained, and want them to take courage in making big changes knowing we support this effort and want to help. This is the battle of our generation within the fellowship.
Let's recognize those who are survivors, some of whom may be outside, that have brought this evil to our attention.
We recognize those who have courageously fought for change from the front lines for many years without being heard, and even now are actively working to identify and mitigate the scope of this stain on our history worldwide. While this type of evil has always existed and will always exist, it remains a battle worth fighting. While there is no perfect solution, there are many changes that are long overdue and must be made now. We can have an impact together on how quickly and thoroughly changes are made. We know which side the Lord is on. We know which side will be perceived as the right one in the arc of history. I am new to this fight, but I want to help you who are veterans of it to the end. There will not be peace until the necessary changes have been made, nor should there be.
Our family and those I've talked with in our state have been encouraged to see appropriate steps finally being taken to confront this issue, remove and report suspects, communicate better, enlist professionals, discuss changes and listen to each other. We've discussed these things openly with many parents, family, elders and workers and we are looking forward to further changes going forward. As changes are accomplished we'll be safer, stronger and better for it.
- One of many
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Post by Admin on May 17, 2023 18:24:49 GMT -5
Attendance at meetings after release from prison5-16-2023 Our dear friends, Some things are uncomfortable, but that does not mean they shouldn't be talked about. Sometimes we avoid discussing things that we need to talk about because we're worried it could be viewed as complaining, judgement, etc. Please, if there's anything you would like to discuss with us, concerns you feel we should address or a need for more disclosure or information re: specific situations please be in touch! The Holy Spirit of God helps us with the right motives in all areas of our life.. including WHY we discuss certain things. We know that it is important to take time to pray and be humble with our Father when the Holy Spirit is motivating us to address something. When the Holy Spirit is leading us to discuss something with others.. we need to obey it and can trust our obedience was necessary, regardless of the reactions. We are sharing that someone in this area was recently released from prison where they served time due to a conviction related to viewing child pornography. Legally he is free to attend our public or private meetings, however Michael H. & Dennis M. have asked him not to attend any meetings for the time being. They will revisit this decision after conventions in Alberta. We have some letters that disclose great sorrows that have recently been exposed. Many of you we've already shared them with. There were quite a few of you whom expressed, when we discussed it, that you didn't want to read the letters. I remember most, but am afraid I might not remember exactly which of you didn't want any of them. So I'll attach the letter from Michael Hassett on a separate email and you can just delete it without reading if that's what you'd decided. I've appreciated advice from someone, which was to encourage you to pray before reading them. We have letters from other areas in North America as well, let us know if you want us to send them to you. With our care, -Mildred, Deanna & Tamara.
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Post by Admin on May 25, 2023 22:00:20 GMT -5
See new thread professing.proboards.com/thread/32032/letter-silence-enemy-progressSilence is the enemy of progress Dear Friends and Workers and all whom it may concern, I’d like to think I normally have a quiet, reserved and non abrasive personality, but as of late I’ve had a personal conviction that hurts my soul if I continue in silence. Silence is the enemy of progress… this phrase came back to me from a high school project over a decade ago. To give context, our Sociology teacher assigned a project on societal law. Our class decided to do the project as a whole group with one goal. Rampant illicit drug use was affecting our school and community. We wanted to make a change to encourage those affected to find healing and to protect future students. The first step to the change was to help everyone to confront the ugly and uncomfortable realities that surrounded them. Ultimately, our class drafted a bill that was passed by the Arizona State Senate (SB1377) that provided information, resources, and statistics on illicit drug use in schools. The bill’s purpose was to eliminate ignorance, oblivion, and denial of the issue because only then can there be true progress. We continued to push and seek help, and while it didn’t get far, our story reached across the nation and many others tried to copy the standard we were trying to set. Our Phrase for our project was, “Silence is the enemy of progress.” My conviction is that phrase has just as much of an impact on the things that are coming to light around us today. Like many others, we are hurt, we are scared, we are angry and the reason is because we care. We care for our faith, we care for our family, we care for our friends. I feel as a whole we in this church are raised and encouraged to be silent. Silence does have a place when the time is appropriate, but it’s evident how dangerous silence can be when the time or condition is not appropriate. Jesus himself showed anger and spoke out against wrongdoings and called for changes. In John 2 “And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables; And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father's house an house of merchandise.” In Matthew 23, there are many verses that mention Jesus speaking against the Pharisees and Scribes. The 27th verse is powerful: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.” By no means are we perfect, but in the unrelenting pressure to have the perfect outward appearance, we have created an environment that masks evil and allows it to flourish unchecked. The extent of this has had so much damage that is only now coming to light. There will always be evil surrounding us as Jesus warned but the cover ups, lies, and resulting protection of the evil by our spiritual leaders feels far worse to me. I hate to blanket leadership under one umbrella because many are also furious in the events that have come to light and are calling for changes to rectify the neglect that has allowed these things to become so very rampant. The fact of the matter is there are hypocrites that Jesus spoke so strongly against and we need to address those hypocrites as Jesus did. I’m aware changes may be in progress but that is only because we are calling for it. If we continue in silence as has been done in the past, we create a refuge for wolves and an endangerment for sheep, and it’s clear this is very much the current case. We need to hold accountable those that were made aware of evil and allowed the evil to continue without ramifications or alerting those in fellowship. This makes me think of those that have done and allowed this as hirelings with the sheep. John 10:12 But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep. The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep. While many in the fellowship may have good intentions, those in power who allow “wolves” to prey on innocent “sheep” are very much hirelings that have no true care for the sheep. I’m so thankful for those that truly care and are trying to speak out to make healthy changes. Despite that, it is no wonder we have seen so many leave the meetings over the years and I have a new empathy for them. I don’t have any resentment towards those that have left the meetings but now deep compassion because I was unaware of the hurt they have felt. I’m thankful to have been made aware of that pain and want to call for the changes necessary to bring them comfort and closure on all they have experienced and faced. Thank you to all those who have fought to make necessary changes, I hope your strength can also give me the encouragement and strength to help where needed. In this time it is imperative that we do not remain silent. I feel those in power that had a hand in covering up wicked crimes need to be removed from their position and report themselves to the proper authorities. This will not be an easy or pleasant experience but the hardest thing to do in life is usually the right thing. This is because it goes against our very human nature of protecting ourselves at all costs. It is also one of many steps to hold all of us accountable in doing what is right. Though impossible, we long to be like Jesus and Jesus fought to over throw what was wrong and speak out against wrongdoings and those in power where it’s evident they were not Godly people. While Jesus showed love and compassion he also lived His life to protect His sheep which I feel can be interpreted as not allowing a safe place for wolves amongst His people. Can people that have done evil in the past be forgiven and truly have a change of heart? I believe that 100% as we can see the story of Paul/Saul. However we live in a society where there needs to consequences to actions. We can make a choice but we can’t choose our consequences. I hope all those that have committed grave crimes and those that have covered them up truly can have a change of spirit but also there needs to be a consequence to those actions. This is perfectly acceptable when a doctor that has committed a major malpractice, the doctor is stripped of their ability to ever practice again. Will the doctor ever make that mistake again if they were given the chance to continue? Probably not but they made a choice and now they have to live with their consequence. They can mean well but they have proven with that mistake they can’t ever be trusted to practice medicine again and therefore will have to give up that career path and seek something else. A Pharmacist who sells drugs illegally and is caught will never be allowed to work in that line again, again their licensing is stripped and all privileges taken away. Would they have ever done it again? Maybe, maybe not, we wouldn’t know because they are never given the opportunity to do so again. They have to pay their consequence because of the action they made. Those in a position of power in this church that have abused it, broken laws/committed crimes, covered up crimes, and/or maliciously lie need to be stripped of that, step down, and possibly removed. The choice has been made, where are the consequences? There is no accountability, no punishment. Can we forgive? Can they change? Absolutely to both, but a choice was made where it’s evident that trust can’t be given and thus comes the consequences of removal of any ability to ever make that mistake again. We wouldn’t be in this extremely uncomfortable situation today if this wasn’t the result of years of cover ups, lies, abuse and repeat offenders. Why are we allowing repeat offenders multiple opportunities to keep offending? This is so damaging to the fellowship that we can have, and is deeply concerning for me. It is perfectly acceptable for unpleasant consequences to be given to Godless actions. Matthew 18 is full of wonderful scripture. Look to Matthew 18:6, But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. This is plain and clear how much childrens lives are valued to the Lord and how serious He is on hurting children and the consequence deserved in doing so. Not only are crimes against children so harmful but denying them their truth in their experiences and covering it up multiplies the pain. More so, the thought that victims may be shamed and ostracized for even mentioning their experiences puts a sick pit in my stomach. I wish to make progress in returning to Jesus and His teachings. I simply love and care for all of God’s people, especially children. Silence is the enemy of progress. With much care, Quentin Duane
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Post by Admin on May 27, 2023 23:53:25 GMT -5
Ex-worker shares: Resources for understanding abuse in church and institutional responses to abuseMay 27 I am extremely weary of church leadership's hodgepodge response to the multi-generational patterns of abuse, denial of abuse, vague apologies when abuse is glaringly obvious, suppression of witnesses, and victim shaming. I am sick of communications that offer a sentence or two about the victim(s), if any, while providing paragraph(s) about the goodness of perpetrators or the need to accommodate and/or not judge them. And while I initially appreciated that some in the ministry had been taking training about CSA, I am tired of that being used as cover. Many recent communications clearly demonstrate that leaders do not understand or believe the training they have supposedly kept current. Ten to fifteen years of 1-hr training, taken every other year, equals 5 to 7.5 hours of training, on average. That, plus any other training taken, is clearly NOT enough for some. "Policies are what you DO, not what you SAY you do" and some leaders can't even get to the SAY part. (https://ministrysafe.com/the-safety-system/monitoring-oversight/ ). Training should be one part of a comprehensive, nationwide plan. There are resources for getting this together, such as the proactive 5 Part Safety System that can be developed with and reviewed by MinistrySafe Institute. I'm very grateful for those who are DOing and have taken this training seriously in their day-to-day lives, but leadership needs to drop the "we're not an organization" act and get organized on this issue. Not every expert we consult has to be in the fellowship, and there's plenty of money out there to pay for services. For those like me who are struggling with these frustrations, there are resources that help to make sense of some of the deeply human (i.e., not very spirit-led) responses to abuse that we have been subject to. Spoiler alert: we're just like all the other churches, or worse. For those overseers and ministers asking for prayers and direction and feedback because you "want to get this right," I pray that you have enough humility and honesty to learn from a Christian woman with short hair and jewellery. Her name is Diane Langberg. She has studied abuse in churches across the world. From her work you will see that the patterns of abuse, cover-ups and neglect of victims that have been laid bare in our fellowship are the same patterns revealed in other institutions that most of you would call "false churches." Diane is a psychologist and was studying PTSD before it had a name. Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church www.amazon.com/Redeeming-Power-Understanding-Authority-Church/dp/1587434385This video is another option that covers some of the book topics. I implore you to watch it and take it seriously: A second book by Wade Mullen is also useful. Wade's PhD was focused on institutional response to abuse, with a focus on churches. The desire to protect the image of an institution or a powerful person at the cost of victims is a straight-up human response. It is not a spirit-led response. Especially important, this book describes what an effective apology looks like. Overseer letters I've seen, if they offer an apology, mostly look like apoloscuses rather than the type of apology that leads to healing. Something's Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse--and Freeing Yourself from Its Power www.amazon.com/Somethings-Not-Right-Decoding-Abuse/dp/1496444701A third book, "When Narcissism Comes to Church," gets personal. First, it challenges us to look inside for the elements of narcissism that each of us carry. It asks us to see the narcissist as a wounded person. But it also calls out the real damage done by individuals in our midst who carry and act on their narcissistic traits. We must not ignore that damage. Further, the chapters on narcissistic SYSTEMS clearly describe the dangers of swimming in the waters of "we are the only true Christians." First, this message is very attractive to narcissistic personalities. Second, a power structure that has no accountability (especially when leadership pretends that hierarchy doesn't exist, even, allegedly, when under oath) is an absolute dream scenario for a narcissistic person. All of the above puts the narcissistic preacher in the role of feeding ON the sheep, not feeding the sheep. I personally witnessed this type of behavior while in the ministry. I believe the whole staff knew about the damaging behavior of our overseer, but no one could really challenge this "anointed one." I realize now that I experienced trauma under this leadership, as did others. I am still recovering. Some mainstream churches now actively screen for narcisstic personality traits in pastors. Perhaps we could learn from their wisdom. When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse www.amazon.com/When-Narcissism-Comes-Church-Community-ebook/dp/B07ZG79HHFIn conclusion, there are many good people and ministers in the fellowship. There are ministers who truly love, serve, and crave positive change. I believe many sincere prayers have been made for guidance in the past and are still being made to find a better path forward. But I DO NOT believe many of us are even at a point of being completely honest about the crisis of abuse (of all kinds) in our group. The ministry, despite being freed from day-to-day jobs to focus wholly on spirituality, completely whiffed on interpretation of certain scriptures about dealing with problems within the fellowship. For generations, people have been discouraged, and in some cases outright forbidden, from seeking legal and/or professional intervention. We are now told "go to the authorities" and "seek professional help" as if those instructions have always been church policy. Let us be honest - giving that advice without an apology and/or context is gaslighting. That change in stance is a reinterpretation of scripture after GENERATIONS of getting it wrong. And only STARTING to get it right 10-15 years ago because of the threat of law enforcement and, most likely, pressure from the friends. It is time for the ministry to demonstrate love by LEARNING AND LEADING rather than being forced to do the bare minimum for victims of all kinds of abuse. It is time for the quiet bystanders, including some of my respected former co-workers, to speak up to the powerful. There are many of us out here that have your backs. It is time to stop pretending we don't know about bad actors. It is time to stop the revisionist history. It is time to stop the self-deception and willful ignorance. It is time to apologize specifically and meaningfully to current and past victims. It is time to recognize that it is not love or mercy to put an abuser in a position where they can easily abuse again. It is time to recognize that it is evil to merely note the wounds of victims without working to provide healing. It is time to see ourselves in the priest and the Levite, when we should be doing the work of the Samaritan. It is time to stop using David's murderous and adulterous failings as an excuse for perpetrators while simultaneously holding victims to the standard of a younger David who wouldn't act against an anointed one. It is time to accept that, through abuse, denial of justice, and misuse of certain scriptures, we have driven many people out of the fellowship. It is time to stop judging victims and start holding ourselves, including the most powerful among us, accountable. It is time for serious, structural change. Anonymous About the author: I spent several years in the work and I am now a parent. I'm sad that this letter must be shared anonymously, but it is a necessary precaution for my family at this time. I greatly respect the bravery of others who share their names. I pray for the day when open conversation around difficult issues is the norm.
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Post by Admin on May 30, 2023 18:08:10 GMT -5
Letter from a concerned US 'friend' - 28 May 2023
"I believe the current church structure has strayed so far from the stated ideal that it is untenable. I am angry and believe there is a silent majority in the church who are in accord but has no voice."
After reading the most recent letter that captured so well the problem enshrined in exclusivity, I feel compelled to write. Silence at this point is complicity.
I applaud all those who have courageously shared their experiences as victims of abuse; sexual, physical, emotional and spiritual. We have heard from current and former workers, and current and former members of our fellowship. I say “our” as one who was raised going to meetings and has spent the last 30 years as an active participant.
How much longer is an open question. It is fully understandable that most, if not all who have shared their pain and their experiences choose to remain anonymous. I choose to sign my name to this letter. These are my thoughts and convictions, and mine alone.
To be clear, I am not a victim of abuse, at least not the most direct kind. But unlike many previous authors, I am angry.
I have brushed against abuse and abusers for my entire life, under the auspices of those entrusted with spreading the gospel, but did not know it. At least three known pedophiles spent significant time in my home as a child, teenager, young adult, and now as a father with my own children. None were known to me or my family, but all were known to the overseers at the time.
This only counts those that admitted their proclivities and crimes, not the generational monster that was Dean Bruer, who also spent a significant amount of time in our home, or any who have not yet been named and brought into the open. For a “never” event, that is far too frequent. It must also be acknowledged that what has been revealed in the past two months has been grudging at best, and had Dean not died, would not be known. That is inexcusable.
We keep hearing about the example of King David and giving grace to sinners as a way to pardon the repeated missteps in past and prior handling of abuse. Annaias and Saphira (Acts 5:1) are the examples we should be discussing. They intended good for the nascent Christian community by selling their property and donating the proceeds, but withheld money and lied, first by omission, then by commission when confronted. Both were struck down in that moment.
There are consequences for actions. I don’t pretend to know any person’s status with God, and believe that anyone can find and follow their own revelation and conviction. God is the final arbiter for all, but from a human perspective, nearly the entire current leadership has lost my respect and confidence.
As horrifying as the crimes of pedophilia and sexual abuse are, as tragic as it is that multiple workers and friends have endured their own emotional and spiritual abuse, as egregious as it is that endemic denial and deflection have pushed a Christian ideal into the realm of abuse, we are still discussing symptoms, not the root of the problem.
The foundational problem in our fellowship remains the insistence that we are the one true way, the only Christians doing it right. The most common term used to self-identify is “the Truth”, which says it all. This reeks of pride and self-righteousness. It also creates a clear and immediate in-group and out-group (with approximately 8 billion people in the out-group) and a moral and spiritual imperative.
I will go further than prior posters and say that as long as this pervasive and damaging doctrine exists, no substantive change is possible. It is not enough to say that it is spoken less frequently or directly, or hear it preached less forcefully from the platform at convention. It has clearly and cogently been spoken for generations, with concomitant and lasting damage. Redaction needs to be equally clear and forceful.
There is a legacy of sanctimony, hypocrisy, and refusal to allow change directly tied to this dogma, and a level of spiritual coercion that cannot be overstated. If salvation hangs in the balance, there is simply no choice–one belongs to this fellowship and toes the line, or one winds up in hell. The current crisis, the slowly unfolding nuclear implosion enveloping the church, is the fruit. Matthew 7 lays bare the truth–false teachings lead to bad fruit. As Matthew suggests, those trees need to be cut down and burned.
However, it is impossible to be an agent for change when no alternative exists. The level of change needed is more than structural, it is seismic. The ecumenical church that many of us wish for is so far from the current structure that it might as well be a fantasy. We need our own Martin Luther to nail his Ninety-Five Theses to the door of a church. But we don’t have a church building of course, another facet of which we are inordinately proud.
Second, as so many have pointed out, the pervasive denial of a power structure or hierarchy is almost as damaging, and a simple way to avoid responsibility. We are apparently not one body in Christ, but 18 geographic bodies (in the U.S. at least) with their own Ordnung, following a roughly similar tangent as Christians. Very simple way to pass the buck, and hyper-convenient way to pass abusers on without dealing with their actions.
Our workers have the authority to assign location of fellowship, elders in those meetings, and who can or cannot take part. They have the authority to say who can and cannot take the emblems, the most direct and physical connection to Christ. They are the gateway to baptism, the closest thing we have to admission into the legacy of Jesus’ life. That is power, and when combined with a dogma that states we are God’s chosen people, it is a truly singular form of power. The overseers control every facet of the lives of those workers in their sphere of influence. They decide whom to allow to enter the ministry, where they labor, who their co-workers will be, and when/if they are dismissed from the ministry. That is clearly power.
In the meetings, the hierarchy is clear, with women at the bottom and men/elders on the next rung. Within the ministry, the hierarchy is also quite clear, with all women at the bottom, younger men on the next step up, and exclusively older/experienced men at the top. To deny this structure exists is disingenuous at best, outright malfeasance at worst. There is no system of feedback or accountability, so combined with a dash of narcissism, the result is a recipe for abuse of all flavors with no recourse.
I believe that the majority of those attending meetings are good and loving people with well-intentioned ideals. I believe the same can be said of the majority of workers, who are willing to give their lives in service to this ideal. I believe the current church structure has strayed so far from the stated ideal that it is untenable. I am angry and believe there is a silent majority in the church who are in accord but has no voice. Until the problem is named, change is not possible. Once named, change remains a far-off and potentially unreachable goal, but honesty is a start.
May 28, 2023
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Post by Admin on May 31, 2023 15:48:52 GMT -5
Letter from a Canadian friend
I was encouraged to read the letter by Jonathan Olson with the central point on the folly of the "one true way" doctrine and I applaud Jon's courage in taking the conversation there. Some may question how we get from CSA to the "one true way" issue but it's vital to understand that CSA exists anywhere a skewed hierarchical organizational structure exists. Large corporations. Professional sports. Religion. The military. Extended families. These are all systems that have a specific hierarchical organization that is intensely revered from within them. And these are all systems where sexual abuse and other kinds of abuse flourish. As serious as the CSA issue is - and is rightly being addressed more aggressively than it has ever been in the past - it remains a symptom of a far deeper issue of self-righteousness in the church, as Jonathan has correctly pointed out.
There's a common thread amongst us all and shown on this site and in the comments; that we're fighting to preserve the church. We don't actually want to burn the church down. NOT because it's the one true way, but because it's good. It's not perfect, it's good. And that's good enough. And maybe more importantly because it's OURS. It's what we've grown up with, or it's what we've come to love through a friend at school or a workmate or a random invitation on a community centre bulletin board. And we'd all be lying if we didn't admit to having enjoyed many days of encouragement and hope while going to meetings and conventions and that many of our closest friends are also professing. And we'd all also probably be lying if we didn't admit to being uncomfortable with the unwritten rules and regulations that have no scriptural merit. It's one thing to abide by a rule that is simply a tradition, Jesus warned specifically against that in Mark 7 and in John 15. It's another thing altogether - and not in a good way - to abide by a rule under the pretext that it achieves righteousness when in fact it's an empty tradition. Tradition in and of itself is not evil. We love our hymns. They're familiar to us and that's okay. God created us, God created music, God created our brains that migrate to a certain amount of traditional "comfort". God doesn't despise that in us. And although this may be open to other interpretations, in Matt 6:23 when Jesus said "But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!" it could mean that if the things that we think are Light and righteous are actually things that are meaningless (darkness), how much greater is THAT darkness. Because now we're distracted from the true light . . .JESUS. If we can get a false sense of security by what we wear or because we don't have a TV or a bottle of wine in our home, or because we think we have a membership card in the "one true way", then the enemy has us right where he wants us. He has us completely distracted from Jesus as the real way and the truth and the life.
I suggest that many of us would agree there is much about our church that is right and good. Clearly there's a growing mistrust in the leadership of the ministry (understatement), but I've no doubt every single one of us knows some workers that we love and respect deeply and that point us to Jesus, instead of just pointing us to a religion. And the reality is that our church HAS helped direct us to Jesus, which is exactly what it's supposed to do. Sometimes it's been done in spite of itself, but it's been done, and here we are. And many of us want to keep going to meetings in some way shape or form. But the minute we start worshipping the church, instead of where it should be pointing us (Jesus), that's when we've gone adrift. The minute we revere the vessel that holds the water more than the water that quenches our heart and soul, that's when the water spills and we wake up to the harsh reality that licking the cup doesn't quench our thirst.
Jesus didn't pull any punches in declaring that religion was over, and the veil would be rent. He was now THE way. The law pointed us to Him, but now that He'd arrived, the law could be put away, made obsolete (Heb 8:13). And this is not to suggest that anyone is esteeming the old law, but the point is that Jesus was trying to show us that the old law, and all religious law in general, was no longer needed now that we could have a relationship directly with God. At that wedding in the 2nd chapter of John, Jesus could have turned the water into wine in any vessel. Surely there were empty bottles or skins laying around everywhere. But he chose to use the pots full of water specifically meant to be used for ceremonial hand washing (same ceremonial handwashing he mocked in Mark 7). He wasn't just performing a miracle, he was making a mockery of the tradition of ceremonial handwashing, a mockery of trusting in religion. And yet here we are, some 2000 years later, with new versions of ceremonial handwashing, new laws, albeit "softer laws", but laws nonetheless, that are just a distraction from Jesus as the way and the truth.
Doing certain things because we believe that's how they were done in the first century church is a noble, and possibly even worthy cause. But trying to prove that our church is the continuation of the first church is flawed at its core when Jesus himself promised that He would be with us. Jesus was unimpressed in Matthew 3:9 with with their lineage connecting back to Abraham. And Jesus would be unimpressed today with the claim to be a religious continuation of the first century church. If we focus on Jesus, then THAT's the connection. Not lineage. Not provenance. The historical reality is that our church comes out of the radical reformation that followed the primary 16th century reformation, out of which came the anabaptist movement, of which we maintain many of the hallmarks of, for what remain as many good reasons. And all that is OKAY. It matters not where we've come from, it matters where we're going and what we believe in. And if we believe we're spirit led - as I've heard said often recently - then it's time to put our faith where our mouth is and cease with this borderline blasphemy of thinking we're saved because we belong to the correct religion. There's a big part of me that wants to post my name to this. But I'm committed to "staying with the ship" so to speak; to fight to make it right from within instead of fleeing into the night. And to be clear, I applaud the ones that have left the church but continue to meet and enjoy fellowship. I'm not quite there yet and I fear that we still have a long way to go before comments like mine will be well received by certain workers with influence. I am the elder of a precious little Sunday morning meeting in our home and as long as we're not ostracized like some have been, we can slowly but surely be part of a rising crescendo of voices from within the church. So, I won't post my name, in an attempt to try to keep my place so that our family can try to uphold a standard of truth from the inside, and to slowly effect change. I know many are doing the same, some quietly, some loudly, but God sees and hears all.
A brother and friend from Canada.
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Post by Admin on Jun 5, 2023 18:32:05 GMT -5
New letter" Stop with the Bible verses and why can’t you say YOUR NAMES ?" To our fellow brethren, Elders, their wives, and our workers, We feel the need to write this anonymously because we don’t want whoever wrote this (" Stop with the Bible verses and why can’t you say YOUR NAMES ?") to have any influence on the interpretation of this letter. Rather, we want wholeheartedly to help point to the scriptures and Christ alone. Because we love Christ and Christ loved the church; we are writing this out of love for our fellowship with brethren who love Christ and point us toward him. Eph 4:15 “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.” We want to allow Christ to shine his light on us and the Church to see these matters in truth and to turn to the scriptures and the leading of the Holy Spirit for our answers. We are sending this out with the hope that the elders and workers will start meeting together to make decisions in the church, along with giving the responsibility back to the elders in each field to take care of the matters amongst the church. This will allow the workers to be able to share the gospel more freely just as Paul in Acts has showed us how to do. With current issues coming forward it has been in our hearts to go back to the scriptures for even clearer revelation from God on how decision making was made in the church, and how oversight was given. Reading again in Acts 15:2 “there was no small dissension and disputation with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas, and certain other of them, should go up to Jerusalem unto the apostles and elders about this question.” Verse 6: “And the apostles and elders came together for to consider of this matter.” Verse 22: “Then pleased it the apostles and elders, with the whole church, to send chosen men of their own company to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas” These verses have brought clarity that decisions made must include not just the workers; but the elders, and input from the church in unity. By making these decisions together it helps us to share accountability and not give sole responsibility to any certain group, which leads to authority. Another example of making decisions together is in Acts 6 when the apostles wanted to give themselves continually to prayer and the ministry instead of worrying about the daily distributions. Verse 2-3: “then the twelve called the multitude of the disciples unto them, and said, it is not reason that we should leave the word of God, and serve tables, therefore brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.” The apostles didn’t choose these men. The multitude of brethren did because they knew their spirits. When we walk alongside our brethren and are being guided by the Holy Spirit and see it in others, we too as a church can choose wisely. Many times throughout Acts the apostles and elders made decisions together and they welcomed any input from other brethren. We feel this should happen now; whether that be if someone is apt for the work after they feel their need and offer, or if there is to be a new Sunday or Wednesday elder, or to make any adjustments to meetings or the fields. Then on the other hand, when any concerns come forward like we have had in recent days, we can come together in unity of spirit and heed to these warnings that Paul gave us of false brethren, or the evil that can come amongst our fellowship. We want to strive together to make our fellowship as edifying and pure as we can while we are on this earth. Making decisions together prevents any authority or hierarchy; we are witnesses for each other and as Proverbs 24:6 says, “in multitude of counselors there is safety.” We understand how weak we are in ourselves and with authority given we easily allow human nature to creep in and pride and power to make decisions. Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” We are in this world and live in the flesh ourselves so we are not immune to these same evils that can overtake us where power can reside. In Acts 10:25-26 Peter showed the spirit of true humility when Cornelius came to him and fell down at his feet and worshipped him. His response was to say, “Stand up; I myself also am a man.” We must walk in true humility in our place in order for God to always have the glory. We understand that it seems practical to have overseers to help make decisions, and until this time it hasn’t seemed to have been questioned. As this position holds a high responsibility, which leads to authority and power, it is a concerning position to keep. It not only puts a lot of pressure and stress on those in that place but has allowed a lot of evil to transpire as we are now seeing the truth come forward. Paul warned us in 2 Corinthians 11:12-15 “But what I do, that I will do, that I may cut off occasion from them which desire occasion; that wherein they glory, they may be found even as we. For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.” We must be careful to watch for these things. Anyone who has not taken unlawful acts to the law has been deceitful and not stood for truth or followed the scriptures. I Peter 2:13-16 “Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well. For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men: As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.” This has brought us to Acts 20 when Paul called the elders of the church in Ephesus together to speak to them and in the 28th verse he said, “Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.” Again in I Peter 5:1-3 “The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.” It seems that scriptures have pointed to the elders to take on overseeing the fields in their area, being an example, making decisions together with the whole church, and remembering that they are not Lords, but ensamples to God’s heritage, that he would still receive the glory. In doing this it would allow the workers to continue unhindered by these great responsibilities to just teach the Gospel story and share the love of Christ that we love to hear. Regarding the new CSA info, Code of Conduct, and Child Policies we are thankful for the effort that is being made to help make a safer place of fellowship for the future of the kingdom. We are thankful for the sake of victims and potential future victims that there has been some removal of the evil that has resided amongst us. Research has shown that abuse is most likely to happen in the places we feel safest, such as our own homes and churches. We know how God feels about these sins, which also happen to be crimes, and how important it is to protect the spirit of a child. Therefore, we must go back to the scriptures about how to handle these matters in our fellowship. Having paperwork for legal purposes is helpful, but we know the Bible is our real Code of Conduct that we must abide by when we are seeking to be led by the Holy Spirit. I Corinthians 5 explains all we need to be doing very clearly. Paul was coming to them saying it was commonly reported about fornication (sexual immorality) amongst them. Verse 2 “And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.” This is a warning that we must take this out of our fellowship. Verses 6-8 explain that “a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump” and to purge it out so there would be a new lump. Just as Christ sacrificed, we can too in order to keep the feast with sincerity and truth. These verses emphasize again that we must be humble to judge righteousness vs. unrighteousness and not be a respector of persons in judgement (Prov 24:23) when removing these sins from amongst us. I Corinthians 5: 9-13: “I wrote unto you in an epistle not to accompany fornicators (sexually immoral): yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator (sexually immoral), or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? Do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore, put away from among yourselves that wicked person.” These verses explain that while we are in this world we will always be amongst these things in and out of our fellowship. If we are judging it outside of our fellowship, we must judge it within and remove it from us. This means we cannot allow those who have committed sexually immoral crimes back among us for the safety of past victims and possible future ones. We know we are all sinners, and each have a chance to repent and seek God’s mercy with a pure and honest heart. We are all very humbled by this and so thankful for it. So this means we still care for the souls of men who have done these wicked things and we pray for them in love. To love them also means to do as Romans 14:13 “Let us not therefore judge one another anymore: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.” Verse 21: “It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.” Just as an alcoholic is told to never put themselves in front of a drink which could tempt them again, we must do the same for the sexually immoral. By allowing them amongst their temptations it is putting a stumbling block or weakness before them. Our salvation comes from our personal relationship from God. Romans 11:13 “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” If we can have fellowship alone with God, we can know his spirit and know his mercy. We are thankful for this opportunity God gives to all souls. We can see that Jesus was abused in many ways as our Savior and Lamb. Matthew 25:40 “And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” Those who have known abuse have understood in a greater measure the sufferings of our Savior. We must love the wounded lambs among us and care for them as we care for Jesus. Bringing back the wolves who have harmed them is bringing more harm to them by not providing a safe place for them to have fellowship. Before bringing this all together please read this situation that occurred recently that teaches us many things: See: wingsfortruth.info/2023/05/31/robert-corfield-circumstances/and wingsfortruth.info/2023/05/17/robert-corfield-removed-from-work/Here was a situation where someone had an issue with pedophilia, had therapy, the workers knew of his tendencies, and he was still in the work until elders who did have training on investigating came to remove him themselves. This is a special situation since they had training to qualify them to investigate, which we are not to do unless we are trained. But it gives us an example of elders overseeing the flock and taking care of the sheep. It also proves that even after therapy for a pedophile that the weakness will ALWAYS be there. They are typically very manipulative and charismatic people. So, we hope his reaction was in honesty. If so, he showed relief from being removed from his weakness. That is how we love our brethren; by understanding we must remove the evil amongst us to protect the pure and innocent. Also, to protect the souls who have tried to repent of their evil deeds by keeping them from their weakness. It should not be an option for them to come to ANY fellowship where children could be present. Fellowship is not our salvation, Jesus is. John 14:6 “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” So, what we take from these lessons from scripture and experience is that we must be willing to come together as the workers, elders and the whole church to make decisions in unity of spirit. Proverbs 24:6 “For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety.” We cannot any longer leave these responsibilities to just the workers. We want to have a church who is willing to judge unrighteousness together without partiality so we can all be held accountable together, and no ability for authority or power is given. Many lambs have been wounded by abuse because it has been protected by those who were given authority. In order to keep this out we must come together as elders and the whole church and bring the responsibilities back to us in weeding out any unrighteousness. We do this because of what the scriptures have made clear and because we want to protect his flock. This is written in love and desire to strengthen our unity in understanding the teachings of Christ and his truths. We hope this can evoke discussions about these situations for the desire of unified change and the hope of the kingdom. With love and care in Christ, Anonymous
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Post by Admin on Jun 6, 2023 20:37:33 GMT -5
Missouri Friends & Workers Meeting - June 4, 2023
Four Workers were in attendance at this meeting Craig Winquist, Greg Mynear, Cheri Fisk and Bertha Magsam
Between 50-75 of the friends attended from around the state of Missouri
It was very evident the Holy Spirit was present at this meeting. Please understand fallible humans put together this transcript to the best of their ability. The meeting lasted 3 full hours so it is hard to capture it all and we wanted as many voices as possible to be put into this document.
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June 4, 2023 Meeting about CSA -
Elder wife opened with prayer.
Elder begins:
Thank you all for coming. My hopes in facilitating this meeting is to increase open and honest communication regarding what is being done and what needs to be done to keep our children safe in our fellowship. We appreciate the workers being willing to be here to hear our concerns.
It is my hope that we can have an open, safe, constructive and civil discussion that will help our workers and our state and our friends take the necessary steps to recognize and help victims, remove offenders and prevent these abuses in the future.
I want EVERYONE here to keep in mind that some here have endured these abuses and have the wounds and scars that they leave. This is FOR them and I hope THAT is considered in all questions and comments. They are to be believed and validated and helped. They are not to be preached to or asked to forgive and move on. These are CRIMES that have been committed against children, and we all know what it says in scripture about hurting little ones, so telling a victim to just forgive what happened when they were just a child is unfair and heaps more guilt upon their wounds.
I’ll give a quick time line of events:
Since the Dean Bruer story broke the end of March, 18 workers or former workers have been removed from the work &/or fellowship in the US and Canada for Sexual crimes or sexual misconduct 13 elders/professing persons have had allegations made or have been charged with sexual crimes and have been dealt with in a variety of ways, some appropriate & some questionable. One Canadian sister worker courageously has written of the abuses she has endured and continues to endure in the work The folks on the Woodstock convention grounds in New Brunswick, put out a letter publicly clarifying that their own daughter is no longer in the work due to sexual abuse and severe mental trauma, after their letter was published the workers removed the convention from their place for 2023, after much outcry from the friends, the workers reinstated a very minimized version of convention for 3 days. An overseer in the Western states is likely to have charges in the days or months ahead JUST SINCE MARCH ….There have been 400 + perpetrators revealed in the truth including overseers, workers, elders, and friends and new allegations are coming in everyday and are under investigation. Per capita, this appears to be worse than the Catholic church. Every day the internet is filled with new stories of victims of abuse. Some dating back decades. I fear the number of the victims still silent is staggering. I hope we can stick as closely to the subject of CSA as possible, but I am well aware as many others are, of the underlying causes that have created this culture where it has proliferated and grown to an epidemic level. Addressing this culture is definitely part of the long term solution.
Opening question to Craig: “Do we have a zero-tolerance policy on CSA?”
Craig: “Yes, it has to be zero. Though it has been assumed that we always have had a zero tolerance.” I was going to start with a different question, but late last night we received a letter that must be read. These victims are not able to attend in person.
An open letter was read as follows:
We are sisters, and we are both victim survivors of child sexual abuse (CSA). We grew up around the Kansas City area, and spent a lot of time with family, especially during the summers, as our parents worked outside of the home. For a couple of summers specifically, in the mid-1990s, we spent time with our aunt Julie Simpson and her husband Rick. Because Julie also worked outside of the home, we were left in the care of Rick during the day. That’s when the continual assaults happened, over the course of about two years. It started with him grooming us, and gradually got worse and worse. For those who are unfamiliar, grooming is “when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited or trafficked.”
This is not language or behavior that we understood at the time, and still we don’t understand it, but we certainly know what it is, and that it happened to us. This is behavior that we have seen from Rick towards others as well, and we do know that we are not the only victims of this perpetrator and pedophile, Rick Simpson. It is because of this that we chose to come forward today. Although we can’t be there in person at this time, our goal is to stop this abuse from continuing with others. The impact that the trauma of surviving CSA has on a person is FOR A LIFETIME. It is recurrent torture that we have to endure - nightmares and triggers, and a severe and deep, and seemingly insurmountable fear of trusting others.
For about 25 years we have been silenced - by the workers and by the friends of this fellowship. All of this came out for the first time while the abuse was still happening, and once our parents found out, we immediately separated ourselves from Rick and Julie. Rick was approached, and although he tearfully admitted to inappropriate behavior, he didn’t tell the whole truth. Although counseling through the school began, it suddenly all came to a screeching halt, but we never knew why. Several years later, the wounds were ripped open again, and this time, more people found out, but still, it was all swept under the rug. We were strongly (mis)guided against going to the authorities and letting the law take care of it. So again, we were silenced - told to forgive and forget. We even had one sister worker, Glenda Pickering, tell us blatantly that it was our fault. She pinned our mother against the wall in our own home, and verbally berated her, until another sister came to our mother’s rescue.
Through the years our parents informed each new worker that came into our field, and each time begged them to take meeting out of his home, and take him out of the meetings and keep him away from conventions, so he couldn’t hurt anyone else. Every time, they were denied. There are at least eight workers that knew of the abuse, and didn’t do ANYTHING.
We have had to sit in special meetings and conventions with him throughout the years, and every time, it was torture. Watching him “undress women with his eyes,” seeing him watching the children at the playground at convention, watching him be praised for all of his helpfulness to the friends and workers for conventions and special meetings. All the while, knowing that this man is a pedophile, and feeling completely powerless to stop him.
No longer. “Time heals all wounds” and “forgive and forget” will no longer silence us. We believe very strongly that God is shining His light on all of this at this time for His purpose. We believe He has moved us to come forward. And our only goal in all of this is to get the abuse to stop. Because other victims before us were silenced, we were victimized. We don’t want that awful vicious cycle to continue, so we are speaking out. We know there are other victims. Some we have heard their stories personally, others have been told to us by third parties, and unfortunately we believe there are even more out there who have not yet come forward. We are coming to you today to encourage you to come forward. Know that you are loved, and you have more support than you can imagine. We know it’s not easy, we’re
walking this out right now. But we are here for you, and we will fight with you. Come forward and help us to get our voices heard so that all of the abuse, deceit, and lies come to a stop. THERE MUST BE ACTION. The church covering up the abuse HAS TO STOP.
The workers being allowed to “handle” these situations has to stop. They are not qualified for that. It MUST be reported to the law, and left in the law’s hands.
- The Priest sisters, Jennifer Westerman and Angela deBoer
**Later in the meeting the Priest girls sent in a message of clarification in defense of their parents. The authorities were informed. In fact, child services called our mother and Pat Johnson, who was a worker, was with her at the time. The school counselor told us that a police officer would be coming, but it never happened. and all of the sudden everything stopped and went away, so somewhere in this obstruction of justice happened.
Craig in response – “What do you say? It is true. It seems like God is directing this and it is a divine wind. The Lord really wants to prepare his people to be his bride. We simply have to remove what he can’t tolerate. For too many years it has been swept under the rug. The carpet can’t cover any more. We have to face reality. We need to fix what’s broken. We need to provide help for the victims. We’ve provided space and help for the perpetrators, but not the victims. Why? Perpetrators are easier to define. On the other side of the coin is the victim. They may not say anything for over 20 years… their pathway to healing is unique and doesn’t have a timeline. They have been living in an internal agony. Craig states he has been reading a book written by a sexual abuse victim. We all need to be educated: Workers need to look after one another and not be here to just protect each other Parents take responsibility for their children. Craig - What is the path forward? An admission – we are sorry where this has been mishandled, wrongly handled, etc. We want to do the right thing. We aren’t here to protect one another.
What kind of changes will we institute? Not sure at this time what will make a difference over the long-term. If someone comes forward, we automatically assume it’s true. Only 5% of cases are false accusations. We have to assume that 100% are true because of this until investigations could find out otherwise.
We realize people have every right not to trust the workers, and yet that is an important part of what we are about. Trust is part of a marriage – if you lose trust, the relationship will fall apart. It means new procedures will help build more trust. And hope that in the long-term, the worker’s conduct will prove that they can be trusted. Who investigates what? Craig – we need to avoid all conflict of interests. Should the workers investigate workers? Probably not. Turned over to third parties and professional investigators. We must accept whatever that investigator would come up with as a solution.
What part do overseers have? Seems like they’ve been a big part of the problem. Craig previously dealt with a situation in Minnesota and felt he needed to write a letter. And if other workers felt it was wrong, he was willing to lose his place. We have to have courage to “write the letter.” If we lose our place because people misunderstand us, God knows, and we can stay sure in that reality. Craig wants to listen mostly and allow this to be like a town hall.
Open Time to share and ask – only Craig or the workers were named in the below. If it was the same person speaking or same story, an effort was made for the thoughts and sub thoughts to be under the initial statement.
There are a variety of perspectives on the internet. Some say you shouldn’t question workers at all, ever. And then others who want to see this fellowship break down and would bring accusations (whether true or false) against everyone. 2007, Tim Severud Minnesota case,(Tim was Craigs companion at the time ) the letter Craig wrote: he informed people well it seemed for the time, however the letter was a month after the arrest. The man was in prison for a while, and then released as a level 3 predator. (level 3 is then explained as the worst of the worst) Craig stated the man would not be put in a meeting but would only be in a meeting with everyone’s knowledge of his history. Craig response – we (Lyle Schoeber) told him to turn himself into the police. He said “I need time to get things together,” the workers monitored that and then a week later, he turned himself in. a friend reports: There was a 911 call made from NE Minnesota about the issue soon after the abuse was made known, by sister worker who was aware of the situation. Craig states, he wasn’t aware of a 911 call being made Craig was asked why, he, as Tim’s companion, he didn’t report Tim to the authorities. Craig said Tim needed to tie up some loose ends, which he did for a week, he states at the time he didn’t know it was mandatory to report Craig is asked if he loves little children, we know God loves little children, and if he does love little children why would he not report it and let Tim have a week to do some things? Why do you have to be told it is mandatory? Craig stated we told him to turn himself in, if he hadn’t we would have then taken him in Craig was asked : had you not taken ministry safe before this? Craig states no Craig wasn’t sure where the perpetrator was exactly for the week in between when he was tying things up. He was not in the homes at that time, but Craig wasn’t sure where he went. Response shared: You can’t tell someone “go turn yourself in.” It is a crime to not turn someone else in. Several nurses speak up that have been nurses for over 30 years, that they have known for 30 years it is against the law to not report. It is also stated that we know we cannot change what happened in the past and that we all make mistakes, but The goal is to hear that lessons have been learned by the workers and everyone from these past cases. Craig acknowledges that things have been learned he also states “sometimes the legal system helps us and sometimes it doesn’t” Craig moved in 2008, and didn’t follow up with other scenarios. There is a concern by folks about meeting being taken out of homes of people who refuse to meet with someone because of their past. Tim has been back in fellowship since release from prison Craig reports that specific non child meeting was created for him however, thenCraig reports There was a situation where a traveling family came, didn’t call ahead and children were present in a meeting where there was a predator. The meeting was set up specifically for that individual, some people in the meeting took chaperone training as well. Concern is shared of having perpetrators in ANY fellowship, as there are risks and it really should not be. concern is that while education is good, it should not take classes to know what is morally best in the interest of protecting children and reporting Concern shared that Craig even had a concern about losing his place as a worker in the above story, for being direct and for sharing the letter. People (the church body) want to make sure there isn’t that culture. We don’t want the workers who are trying to cover up a situation to be the ones who are holding accountability, or to kick other workers out who try to take it to the authorities. Craig stated “I’m not loyal to being overseer. I’m loyal to you all.” I want to work with my fellow overseers, but my first priority is to you all and to my staff The coworkers are expected to support one another, but also to make sure one another is accountable. Concern that the education will help bring awareness, but also will help perpetrators hide. Concern is shared why people even go to the workers, a female friend says , often it has went to workers because a worker has been a perpetrator and then often it has the appearance that overseers are colluding to cover for the crimes of their coworker. Concern about worker movement from field to field with little knowledge sharing. There must have been someone who knew a worker was getting counseling for CSA, and yet that worker was still in charge of Convention Preps, in Montana, even just recently. There could be charges in both Canada and Montana. There are victims in both areas he was at. Specific scenario from STL area dealt with it in the meeting – after the parent got over his rage, he made a call to the sheriff, and got a restraining order. Then went to the DA. They went to the sheriff first and talked to the workers second. We need to be transparent about all things. This individual was a problem in multiple states (with women of all ages). We can’t afford to not be involved in people’s business. The head worker wasn’t aware of it, and had to call the former worker to become aware of it. The elders of the meeting need to be very aware of it. We trust people who come to meetings and it needs to be communicated effectively and transparently. Encourage accountability on multiple levels. “We need to be able to talk about this and not to say, “you don’t have the right spirit” when we try and have transparency and accountability. About 3 months after, some of the older folks felt sorry for the perpetrator and wanted him to come to meeting. Accommodations once again were made for a perpetrator We need to be able to reach outside our fellowship too for knowledge base, because this is a knowledge issue. Not a spiritual issue. Workers don’t have the knowledge and they need our help as friends that have different backgrounds as well. We need experts to work on these issues. Wife of the individual above – when they reported it to the authorities, she had to go before a judge and listen to the letter that was read (unclear what the letter was?) and was told to press charges. You cannot depend on the justice system only. They’re bogged down with many cases. Please do also pray for forgiveness for your own soul’s sake and for the sake of the soul of the other. Put information out there for the experts to decide. “I don’t want someone to get in trouble,” isn’t an excuse. They may not get in trouble, but at least it starts the process. Pediatrician spoke who has expertise in the field of the justice system and what it looks like: It took one patient a year before it was reported. A physical examination was then done. They report their whole story once as protocol. It isn’t specific that they ask who the perpetrator is until it comes to the officers later. Then juvenile officers, social workers, and child abuse doctors are involved. They frequently have to go to court. Perpetrators frequently are good at lying. The legal system takes a while, so it takes a long time for people to see “justice” as they see fit. You also want to be cautious of not causing more trauma to the people who are victims. If something doesn’t get “justice” it doesn’t always mean it was squashed by the church or the workers. If it is reported it could be the bogged down system too. There are silos in the business world – when an entity is so big that there are entities inside the larger body that don’t communicate together. There are silos that the workers and friends fall into, elders, gendered, etc. The only way to break down silos is protocol. There needs to be a protocol that everyone is aware of. Whether a council or a group of people who get together to figure out the protocol is important. Unless protocol is put into place, nothing will change. As a teacher, if you don’t report, you not only lose your job, but license, and you can’t go to another district. You can’t go to teach somewhere else. There will still be perpetrators in the future, elderly victim shares her appreciation for the young folks taking a stand and being at the mtg. We need to reframe and rethink - there have been so many victims that have been given their space and they lost out of fellowship because they weren’t given help. They were given too much space. Shared a concern for sister workers who have all been reporting these instances but silenced and have been victims themselves Constantly making statements of how parents have to be vigilant is frustrating also, because most parents have been overprotective to the point of resentment by our children, we need them to be in a place where it is safe to be kids. Concern shared for when meetings have been taken out of homes but not for good reasons, but for control. If reporting issues has been punished by less influence. Nurse in a prison hospital: “See something, you have to report it.” Missouri’s mandated reporter law was read Does this say that Missouri’s prison system cares more for their prisoners than we care for our children? Hopefully not. God is giving us the opportunity to present ourselves blameless, and this is a stain we have to clean. What does a predator look like? It isn’t the scary individual, or the stranger. It is the one who is charismatic, well kept, and kind. The ones who if they have a claim made against them might make you say, “no that isn’t possible.” Greg Mynear: If you go to the workers only, you also are responsible if you’re a mandated reporter. If you come to the workers, that’s okay, that’s necessary to share with the friends, but that isn’t the end of the line. But FIRST go to the law please! We all answer to God on all of this. We have to go to the authorities on certain things. If someone comes to the workers, the workers have to report it. “when you all let us in your homes it tells your children that you trust us.” There is a group that is forming, hopefully in each state, made up of mothers and fathers, that individuals can go to for safe places to report. If you’re interested they can contact Nadine Mead, she and Calvin know some that are working to facilitate that. This is very early and very grass roots. Concern about Dean Breuer case, +400 people now have allegations One frustration that was shared was that the Dean Bruer case was dumped on elders to share the Dean Breuer case, and some of them didn’t want to tell the case. And the wife of the elder went to a trusted sister worker who told her to stay quiet. The sister worker said “Teach your children not to tempt the workers,” and that’s wrong. Job said, “I made a covenant with my eyes,” and that’s applicable to a husband and wife. “I see a lot of beautiful women, but my commitment is to one.” This isn’t about others tempting men or what they’re wearing… “this boils down to adults controlling themselves.” Joshua and his battles in the old testament – Some cities had different instructions. The first city, it was devoted to destruction, but some of it was held back by someone. And that stopped the people from having victory until it was fully dealt with and put away. This is necessary. California and Georgia are working on codes of conduct for workers. They were passed around for people to look at. There is a cultural problem with our church if some people felt they’d be looked at poorly for going to this meeting. The culture of fear needs to stop. That perpetuates silence and covering things up. I heard many different reactions to me coming today, from fear to anger to support. Some people who suffered abuse didn’t feel they could bring it up to their own parents, because it wouldn’t be believed. Our culture needs to change! Where does this go nationwide and in other states? Letter from Scott Rauscher (spelling?) in Montana, about a worker who has recently been removed. He was undergoing counselling for pedophilia while in the work. “Troubling that there are friends who don’t want to hear about this anymore” but we need to have this be communicated because some of these workers have been in Missouri. And some people still don’t know. Names listed were Ken Pinney, Jeff Thayer, LeRoy Sanford, Kingsley, Doug Ogden – all have some kind of accusation against them, but it hasn’t been communicated yet. Even if they’ve been visitors, how do we let people know about this? Request that we can share “are we doing everything we can to communicate this issue state to state, country to country, etc.” Many many friends speak out that communication needs to happen, friends are willing to help! The communication between states, we need to know that Our attempt is to restore credibility and trust in our workers. Right now, people don’t know who is who, and it’s hard to have trust in the workers. Not all problems are CSA, some are morality issues. How do we communicate proactively? Nothing has been sent out. We want to see improvement. A story from Dubai – the people in Bangladesh are very rude in practice. The same people go to Dubai and are upstanding citizens because they know they can’t get away with it. If people know they can’t get away with CSA into our fellowship, it will stop. For those who are making these mistakes, the only way they will benefit is to face the consequence of their actions. If love is the core of our belief, it isn’t very loving to not make and take the steps to hold people accountable. A sister victim shared her story and how hard it was to go back home and constantly face her abuser at meetings, and listen her whole life about the excuses for his sick behavior, she stated we have to be aligned with God, we need to get deep in our prayer life and pray for overseers that they be aligned with God, for everyone. If we are ALL aligned with God (she states she doesn’t like to use the phrase “the truth”) because Jesus is THE WAY, if we all get aligned changes will come Someone shared that her son was attacked as a child and she went to the workers instead of the authorities and she is now sorry that’s how she handled it. She loves the truth and it’s all she has. It’s time to build. Tearing down truth isn’t the answer. We have to address meanness in our own homes too, not just CSA. She stated she is an addict, she does not now use the substance she is addicted to, however she will forever be an addict and Pedophiles are addicts and they cannot be CURED they will forever be addicted to children. We need a code of conduct for the elders too. Example: If a communication has been requested to go out, it does go out. We also need to keep God in the center of our solution. There is a beauty to our fellowship being organic and things not all being black and white. CSA is a very black and white issue. But we need to allow for communication standards that provide flexibility so the workers and friends can be moved by the spirit. “I just want to know that changes are being made so that abuses of power cannot keep happening.” He was told to keep things at home. Wants people to know that we can talk about the hard things. If changes need to be made, we can’t be afraid to have those changes either.” Bertha, “The fear of the lord tendeth to life. They that have it shall be satisfied.” Her parents would take them outside and talk to them about God. If you teach a child the fear of God before age 6, it will take them through life. With God we are responsible. We don’t want to plan without the spirit of God. The workers don’t limit themselves to the place they have, but are in touch with others who are planning for the place of the workers. “We are first of all responsible to God and his spirit. So I’m trusting in the guidance, even of those who are planning for us, and they’re guided by the Spirit.” We’re here because we love children and our faith. And we want to be defenders of both. When we know better, we can do better. It’s nice when we can be sheltered from the evil in the world, but when we know better we can do better. Appreciated the practical solutions we’ve talked about. Want the workers to feel comfortable coming to us for help as well. I would just like an email once in a while. More communication would be great. This feels like a transformational meeting – to hear something and know that everyone has the same information, it’s helpful. “We haven’t heard anything,” the lack of communication feels like something is being hidden. It seems like the lack of communication feels like there is something that should be shared that isn’t. Some people could be on the fence in their faith, and if someone’s soul could be saved by a little communication, why wouldn’t you? The sheep feel so nervous when the shepherd or sheep dog is away Offenders could attend meeting virtually as a solution I’m very thankful to hear the young voices. I’ve been struggling more than ever, just with wanting to come to meetings like I used to. Close friends have chosen to walk away, and that’s the easy way out. I don’t want to take that, but it’s hard. God hasn’t changed and he will never change. The things that have happened have been because of man. And we need to learn how to change. God doesn’t keep things in the dark, because he is light. “Why now is this coming out?” Now is the time for them to be revealed because now is the time that the people will stand up and be willing to change. When the news about Doug Ogden was accused, someone got a personal phone call from Darla Fisher, letting them know. If an email feels too hard or removed, the phone is also an option. One person can’t make all the phone calls. But Darla contacted everyone who came in contact with Doug. And it meant a lot that she brought the news personally as quickly as she could. “It can’t wait until the end of the day. The urgency meant a lot to me as a victim and a mother. Communication, in any means possible.” Moses and Aaron example: if communication is hard for one, having a coworker who knows how to help is there too. It’s helpful for us also to know how to pray for the workers specifically. Even the overseers need companions who can help them with their weaknesses. If it’s communication, please be open with your help that’s needed. Perfectionism – when we have a culture of perfectionism, then things are more likely to be hidden. The downside of this being the “Truth” or the best/perfect way, is that we strive for perfection and that can help breed a culture of hiding. We need an abundance of grace to help so that there can be transparency, and not perfectionism. Craig: We will work with authorities, we are not experts on where people are at. We don’t expect that perpetrators ever are really different. You have to keep them from getting in a place that they can hurt people. I don’t want to say, “we will never have a pedophile in a meeting,” because it may be a controlled place. But they won’t be in special meeting, conventions, if they are allowed somehow in a meeting, it will be restricted. Otherwise, we have a virtual option. Caring for the victims: That’s a big issue. Where are they in their recovery, is it something they do/don’t want to talk about? Their feelings have to be considered, and considered more than the perpetrators. So many people hear “forgive, forgive, forgive,” but what about the victims? Craig states What is realistic for the victim? (From a book Craig read) The victim knew he wanted to and needed to forgive, but he knew his forgiveness wasn’t real. Finally, he told his parents and the authorities, and had to go through the whole process. It wasn’t until the sense of justice had been served that he felt like he could forgive. Craig states It isn’t something that people can be told to do (forgive) it has to come from them, and that needs to be something they come to themselves. Unconditional forgiveness – even God doesn’t do that. Some things cannot just be let go. And there are some things that. There is a foundation that has been set up by the 3 ladies that have been doing the investigating. There is a sum of money that is there for the victims to reach out and be helped with funding for therapy. You can also donate to that. Don’t find it appropriate to excommunicate people for speaking up about this issue (with CSA). Want to make sure that isn’t the case. Woodstock convention issue – the friends felt it was retaliatory (it was shortened) People have been mistreated, put out, perhaps wrongfully Craig: there are people who have left, and those who have been driven out. And I don’t worry about those who have been driven out, because God knows their hearts. I have to believe that if we’ve been mistreated and we take it well, God knows. The only thing that will bring peace is that eternal perspective. And that doesn’t mean we don’t try to do the best we can while here on this Earth. I can’t speak for Canada or all the other places. Triangulation by people in power – it’s a control and manipulation issue. Worrying about punishment: Examples of past eras of black stockings, checking men’s hair length at convention to get a haircut, etc. If it’s a crime, take them out of fellowship. Beyond crimes, it bothers me that there’s punishment going on. God knows how to correct people without hurting them and turning them away. I know you said you don’t have the answers, but the things in the state that are under your (Craig’s) control are important. Most people are here because they want to save this ship. The gravity of this is a big deal – the FBI may be involved. Many people could go to federal prison. It’s a big deal.
A transcript will be released that is honest about what has gone on. Please make sure that this has been transcribed in a way that is transparent and kind.
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Post by Admin on Jun 8, 2023 21:38:33 GMT -5
Removing rules and power imbalance
Jun 8 We are in the midst of very trying times. Some suffer in silence and others have shown tremendous courage in speaking up. Most of us feel helpless when we see and hear about head workers, workers, elders and friends continuing to cover up abuse.
The basis of many of the crimes and cover-ups can be attributed to the power imbalance of overseers. This power has been unlimited and without oversight and has resulted in rules that are not based on Jesus’s teachings. The tradition of having a certain acceptable outward appearance has been a way to control people and it needs to stop.
Jesus dressed like a typical person of his day. We know this because there are several instances documented where he “disappeared into the crowd”.
There are those amongst us who have felt the need to take a stand to show support for victims. Going forward, you will see support in the form of wearing non-traditional attire, such as women wearing pants and less focus on conforming to an outward standard. This will be at conventions and other gatherings. Abuse and ease of access is an unfortunate result of making women and girls wear skirts. Thus, it seems there is more of an urgency to allow people to choose their clothing as appropriate. We are not doing this to rebel against God, as garments and adornments are not a sin or a criminal act. We want to give a clear message that we no longer tolerate the embedded culture in the Ministry of bullying, psychological abuse, sexual abuse, misconduct and cover-up of such.
There are many man-made rules and traditions that have been elevated to doctrine and confused with righteousness. We love the fellowship and appreciate everyone who is trying to be honest and transparent during this time of turmoil. We do not want to cause offence in any way, but we take this stand to ensure that things are put right, so that fellowship can be preserved. This nonconformance to the outward standard is not a rebellion against God or our faith, but is a show of loving support for those of you - women, men and children who have suffered and are suffering. We support you.
All are welcome to join in and show support in your area as you feel comfortable. We are a family, and we are very thankful for the support and love we receive from each other.
The future of this fellowship will include all people of every race and culture freely wearing clothing, make-up or jewellery and hairstyles they are comfortable with. We must not return to a time of manipulative and controlling rules that focus on outward compliance. This only encourages predators of all kinds to enforce these rules with their abuses.
We wish to turn our focus to Jesus’ teachings and our service to God, not man.
Your brothers and sisters in Christ
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Post by mod5 on Jun 12, 2023 19:52:54 GMT -5
Open letter from a professing man in Alberta to Michael Hasset
Subject: In Alberta, the silence is deafening.
Michael,
More than 2 and a half months since I wrote an open letter to workers and elders, including yourself, we have heard nothing further, after an initial brief reply. Perhaps there are letters going out and I’m simply not on the list. But if this is the case, I imagine this is the case for many of our friends in this province.
And so, I’m going to speak very plainly, because it seems that gentle words do not evoke a meaningful response. And, I’m going to bcc this email to as many people as possible (100+). Some will appreciate these words, some will be angered by them. Some will correct me if they feel that I have misspoken.
While I’m the one writing, rest assured that these words do not come from me alone.
Week after week, as allegations continue to pour out, we in this province are met with deafening silence. And it is not only this province.
Deafening silence from those who are in trusted positions of authority. Maybe there are convert meetings happening in secret with privileged elders, but for the average person, we are hearing NOTHING from those who we thought were trusted with responsibility and oversight and “care for the flock”.
Sure, we have heard a few letters written with a few platitudes and verses, but absolutely nothing of substance that acknowledges the depth of the cruelty and betrayal that has been running through this fellowship for decades that has affected hundreds, if not thousands of victims.
Where are the “fruits meet unto repentance”? Where is the Godly sorrow? Where is the righteous anger?
Rape. Sexual Abuse. Grooming. Child rape. Child sexual abuse. Abuse of authority to prey on women and children in particular. These are among the most EVIL and HEINOUS crimes that a person could ever commit.
These are crimes that damage a person for life.
To write what amounts to “we are all hurting from these things”, for the victims of these cruel crimes, is the most indignifying slap in the face, to equate the pain of a damaged reputation, with the pain of being physically violated and abused.
If there was ever a time for leadership, this would be the time, and yet in the face of a real crisis, our “leadership” hides in what many are perceiving to be cowardly silence for weeks on end, while more and more victims come forward. It leads us to wonder if those in positions of authority are wishing that things are ignored long enough so that they will disappear, like in the “old days”.
Let me be clear, that will NEVER happen again.
The conversations ARE happening. They are happening everywhere EXCEPT between workers and friends in this part of the world, it seems. Among MANY of us “ordinary” friends and we are going to sources outside the fellowship because those are the people who have often been hurt the most, silenced and even excommunicated for the crime of speaking out. They’re the ones angry and hurt enough to speak loudly, no longer fearing retribution, and we are learning more and more about the depth of corruption and betrayal that has been plaguing this fellowship for decades.
Now the stories are in the light for ALL to see. And every single person in a position of authority who has been engaged in criminal activity is having their crimes brought to light, including the ones who have for years and decades, swept things under the rug.
I have been warned by others that if I speak up too bluntly, I may find myself “excommunicated”.
And, when I heard that, I first thought “Probably not very likely”. But, I also thought to myself “excommunicated for what?” For taking a vocal stand against child sexual abuse and the complicit coverups within this fellowship?
Looking back, I remember hearing whispers, even as a child, decades earlier, and being told that we don’t speak about these things because it might upset the faith of others.
Alberta in particular, has been the place of many excommunications in the past, which in light of this current state, are absolutely trivial and rooted largely in religious legalism, and when faced with true criminal behaviour, from people in high places, the only time serious action is taken is when people shout so loudly they can’t be ignored, or law enforcement becomes involved.
Regardless of the consequences of my speaking out, what cannot be taken from me is the foundation of my faith, which is rooted in Christ. Not in an institution established by men.
A very simple question to ask is “Where would we find Jesus?”
Would he be dining with workers of high status, would he be engaged in secretive conversations among a privileged few, aiding them to retain their positions of authority before men?
Jesus RAILED against religious hypocrisy. Silence IS being complicit, enabling and allowing abuse to continue.
In Alberta, is there a worker’s code of conduct? Or one being developed? How about a child safe policy?
If they are, why are we hearing NOTHING? Why are we who are parents not being consulted?
Let’s be clear. We know these policies will NOT change the heart of a predator, especially one that is incapable of empathy or compassion for their victims.
But, at least what it WILL do is it will allow those who are or have been victims, and those who could be potential future victims to KNOW what is and what isn’t appropriate, and to know if they have been victims.
What about steps to take when a crime has been committed? What should victims do and where should they go?
Why are we not being alerted to potential predators and criminals in our midst? How are we to keep our children safe? (Yes, we ARE finding out this information, but NONE is coming from our “leaders”)
The appalling lack of TRANSPARENCY continues, and there is NO good justification for this. Time and time again we have seen predators protected and moved around, and victims silenced, shamed, ignored or worse kicked out for being “troublemakers”.
If we were to rely on our overseers, or the workers in our field to communicate to us all that has come to light in the last 3 months, we would know virtually nothing. We would still be in the dark.
Is it any wonder that any semblance of confidence we once had in our ministry as “led by the Spirit of God” has been reduced to almost nothing? Lack of transparency and open communication is a continued betrayal of our trust in “oversight” to help to keep our fellowship safe.
Conventions. Are they just going to carry on as normal, and we pretend that none of this has happened? How many abuses have been carried out at preps and convention grounds? Are there going to be precautions or safeguards put in place? If so, what are they?
My own (controversial) opinion is that conventions should be cancelled this year, with all of this hanging overhead.
It is abundantly clear that a problem of this magnitude cannot be solved within our fellowship in its current state. And, so we wonder, where do we go from here?
And right now, to be honest, I’m not really sure, because I don’t know how serious those in leadership positions in our ministry are about creating REAL change.
Maybe a more fundamental question is: “How do we obtain salvation?”
It does not come from an institution established by men that is rooted in religious legalism, blatant hypocrisy, and complicit in hiding criminal behaviour. It does not come from men who behave like cowards that are more concerned with appearances than Godly righteousness. The Pharisees were the ones who Jesus called “whited sepulchres full of dead men’s bones”.
And in this trying time, one of the positives that has come from all of this terrible turmoil has been for me to ask “What is my faith in?”
Our salvation comes by the grace of God, through JESUS who is THE Way, THE Truth and THE Life.
Where does our Ministry go from here? Is it even possible to restore trust?
At the very least, the absolute first place to start would be a place of DEEP sorrow, humility and genuine REPENTANCE.
And because I don’t believe I should only speak about the problems without offering some kind of solution or assistance, here is an example of a statement I would make to our province if I was in the shoes of an overseer:
To our dear friends and servants in this fellowship and more importantly, the deeply wounded ones who have departed this fellowship because of the trauma they have endured,
God has made it abundantly clear that it is well past the time we must address the shameful open secret that has plagued our fellowship and ministry for decades: that of sexual abuse and in particular, of child sexual abuse.
There is no easy way to discuss such a sensitive topic that is filled with pain, sorrow, shame and guilt.
But it is this very reticence to openly and frankly address this reprehensible evil that finds us in this very distressing situation we are in today where friends, family and fellowship are being torn apart as the true magnitude of this evil within our fellowship comes to light.
It is abundantly clear that efforts to address this in the past have been woefully inadequate as evidenced by the outpouring of angry, painful and traumatic stories that have come to light following the investigations into the lengthy and horrific crimes committed by disgraced former overseers, workers, elders and friends, who have terribly abused their position of influence and authority to commit the most heinous of crimes.
For far too long, these situations have been swept under the rug or hidden in the shadows for fear of what might happen of they were to come to light. Hushed conversations, secretive letters, communication only for the privileged few.
Victims of these crimes not only had to suffer the deep trauma of being sexually abused, but also the galling indignity of being disbelieved, shamed or even blamed for what transpired and in some cases even looked down upon as they angrily departed the fellowship.
We who remain in positions of responsibility in this ministry find ourselves overwhelmed as we are wrestling with the deepest of sorrow, guilt and shame for how we have failed our most precious friends and the most vulnerable among us, our children.
And so this letter marks a beginning and an end. We MUST begin an era of unprecedented transparency within this fellowship and ministry.
We recognize that every relationship within this fellowship is built on a foundation of trust, and where there is no trust, there is no fellowship.
If we are ever going to be able to restore the trust of our friends, our workers, and those who may want to be a part of this fellowship in future days, we must be absolutely united and unwavering in our commitment to taking every measure possible to ensure that the abuse of decades past can NEVER happen again.
Please understand that we are human and we may never be able to entirely eradicate this evil, as there will always be those with evil in their heart that seek to prey on trusting, kind, God-fearing souls, but we will take every measure possible to ensure that never again will these crimes go unreported. Never again will we allow these crimes to be swept under the rug.
While we do not yet know every step forward, we want to provide you with the strongest possible reassurance that we are committed to putting safeguards and transparency in place in such a way that our friends can begin to feel safe again with our fellowship and ministry, and will KNOW how to recognize abuse, and WHAT steps to take to ensure that the cycle CANNOT continue.
We write this with the utmost of humility, and we pray that you will be able to forgive this ministry for our terrible failures both in recent times and decades past, and plead that we will again be able to be united in fellowship that we may be able to turn our hearts again to that which is most important, our salvation that is rooted in CHRIST.
I wrote this a couple of months ago but didn’t send it your way because I was waiting to see what the communication might be as this all played out. I didn’t anticipate almost total silence.
There is so much more that could be said, and there are many scriptural references that could be included, but instead, I will link a letter written by a very good friend of mine, Daniel, which was sent out to all of the N. American overseers, as there will be many friends who have not, as yet, read this exceptionally well-written letter, so in the event that this email is forwarded on to them, they would benefit from reading it,
Lastly, a part of me wants to write “I’m sorry” for the blunt nature of my words. But, I’m not sorry for that. I’m sorry for all of the victims who have suffered unimaginable pain at the hands of heartless predators, enabled by an institution that refused to take them seriously.
And I’m sorry for any times in the past that I failed to speak up, whether due to fear, or ignorance, I won’t remain silent anymore,
Jonathan
PS – For anyone reading this, feel free to share or forward it on if you feel it would be helpful for others to hear
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Post by Admin on Jun 16, 2023 19:12:16 GMT -5
Friend’s opinion re the power of a hierarchyJun 15 I would like to talk about a few things that have been heavy on my mind lately. Maybe I should add a trigger warning for CSA/SA because I am going to speak bluntly. Lately I have heard and read some very disturbing reactions from some of the friends and workers. It feels like there is a lot of lip service to the child sexual assault, sexual assault and sexual misconduct issues, and a hope that this will soon blow over and everyone will forget about it. To be fair, I have also heard some very positive things, but I am not writing about that today. To be specific, I have seen statements that indicate some feel that if there is not significant evidence or offence to secure a legal conviction, the accused should be considered innocent. One such example was from an overseer speaking about an admitted pedophile and long-time sexual predator with a huge list of survivors in his wake. “but he was never convicted”…. Are you kidding me? Anyone with half a brain could determine that this man should never be allowed to attend meetings or church functions. And he would have been convicted if you hadn’t covered it up years ago. Or what if it is just “innocent” touching? Hypothetically, if a young girl complains about a worker who hugged her awkwardly and felt her butt, the likelihood of a legal conviction is almost zero. But that should still be a huge red flag. Was it an accident? Highly unlikely, you don’t grab a young girl’s butt or feel her chest accidentally. But let’s say there are multiple complaints of the same behavior from different girls. Still, he’s probably not going to be convicted and sent to prison. But it’s proof that he is a sexual predator and has no business attending church functions let alone being a minister. This old, “that’s just uncle Brad, he’s just kinda handsy but he’s harmless” way of thinking is just plain wrong. And no, the hell, it’s not harmless, not even a bit. The harm that comes from incidents like this are real and the harm of sweeping it under the rug is worse. Like it or not, ministers and elders are held to a higher legal standard when it comes to stuff like this, whether committing it or reporting it. And let’s talk about consensual relationships. We hear a lot about that. “Well, it was inappropriate behaviour for a worker, but it was a consensual relationship, so no harm done. Who can blame two people for falling in love?” This is a very slippery issue. First of all, whether we admit it or not, there is very much a hierarchical order of organization within the “Truth”. There are country or regional head workers, state or area overseers, older brother workers, younger brother workers, older sister workers, younger sister workers, elders, back up elders, saints, and wives, unmarried men and women and children. Pretty much in that order. In the business world, if an executive manager has a relationship with a subordinate they are sacked. Why? Because it isn’t appropriate and there is too much room for the more powerful person to persuade the less powerful person to do something that they wouldn’t otherwise do. I get it, people fall in love and that can be a beautiful thing. But in a hierarchical organization, where the man has power over the woman, “consensual” relationships are more often than not, not actually consensual. Let’s say, good ole handsome brother worker Tom likes the ladies, and the ladies like Tom. But what the individual ladies don’t know is that Tom is a player, he has a lady in every state. So, when the lady in Kansas is found with Tom, she defends him and says, “it was consensual.” Sure, she thinks she is his one and only, she doesn’t know about Miss Oklahoma or Miss Nebraska. So, is it really consensual? Or is Tom a dirty rotten sexual predator that has no business holding his position? He will never be convicted in court, but he absolutely deserves to be fired and sent away in a transparent manner. The type of sexual assault we are talking about hardly ever involves a man dragging a vulnerable woman or child into a dark alley at knifepoint and raping them. What we are talking about is very sophisticated and deliberate grooming or courting, so that by the time the actual sexual assault happens, the carefully chosen victim feels helpless to do anything about it or even might feel like they are somehow special that this wise and powerful “servant of god” has chosen them to be his special one. To deal with this problem, we must understand what we are dealing with. We must understand the level of evil that we are dealing with. We must understand that these types of predators don’t just stop doing what they do because they got caught. We must stop thinking of them as someone who is good that just fell into weakness and start thinking of them as evil people who are very good at appearing to be good. We need to stop being wishy washy about how we deal with these predators and cut them out like the evil cancer that they are. Aside from the moral right and wrong aspect of this issue and the fight between good and evil, there are also very serious potential legal accountabilities that many of us could be faced with. Those who have meetings and conventions, or just host a get-together or have an open home. Have you thought about your legal liability if a known predator assaulted someone on your property? Or forget the legal aspect, how would you feel knowing that someone’s child was assaulted at your home? This is serious business and must not continue to be swept under the rug. Every one of us has much more power to address this than we think we do. All we have to do is speak up. It might be uncomfortable, speaking up to those who are above us in that very strict hierarchical organization, but it is possible, and it is effective. The hierarchical organization only exists in the minds of those who accept it, after all, that country head worker or state overseer has no closer connection to God than you do, and is certainly no more intelligent or business savvy. It’s time we realize that and hold them accountable.
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Post by Admin on Jun 17, 2023 22:43:13 GMT -5
Jun 17 People have noted that most of the abuse disclosures this year have been about North American overseers, workers and friends, but they have mentioned their hope that the growing transparency and engagement will spread to other continents. It is well-known that abuse is a global problem and no area is immune. Unfortunately, this slow growth in transparency only occurred because brave people provided details of their abuse (sometimes anonymously, and sometimes with their names). This has given strength to others to also disclose their abuse, and to open the secrecy that was previously imposed on victims. It has also been recognised that the secrecy of past cases allowed some perpetrators to continue their abuse, perhaps in a new area of unsuspecting people when they were silently shifted to a new field. That secrecy may have been common in general society many years ago, but is no longer acceptable. Victims, perhaps from many years ago, are still living with the trauma. Their healing requires open acknowledgement of all historic cases so they can see that their hurt is recognised. In some cases, they can realise that they were not the only victim of their perpetrator. WINGS has received reports of abuse in Europe, Latin America, Asia, Australasia and Africa.
Now is the time for those areas to provide reports that can be published by WINGS, so overseers and workers can face up to the need for radical change in treatment of abuse cases: Sincere, individual apologies to all known victims Arrangements to fund therapy where required Past cases where perpetrators were protected and shifted are revisited Perpetrator attendance at meetings is reconsidered Zero-tolerance policies issued to all friends and workers Training, and regular updates, undertaken by all workers (male and female) WINGS notes that many people have recognised that the strict hierarchy of regional overseers expected to be guided by God has allowed dreadful actions, that could have been prevented or minimised if there was more involvement of elders, friends and females. WINGS advocates for past child victims, and protection of current/future children, but does not lobby for general change in the fellowship. That is the prerogative of the friends and workers. Note: This post has consistently used the term ‘abuse’. It is intended to refer to both Child Sexual Abuse, and adult abuse, of all types. THEN ADDRESS THE PROBLEM WORKERS AND START NEW WITH A YOUNGER GROUP OF WORKERS . Including some sister worker’s as overseers as well . I WILL GIVE THEM EXACTLY WHAT THEY GAVE TO MY DAUGHTER AND MYSELF NO MERCY !!!
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Post by Admin on Jun 18, 2023 11:06:58 GMT -5
Jun 17 People have noted that most of the abuse disclosures this year have been about North American overseers, workers and friends, but they have mentioned their hope that the growing transparency and engagement will spread to other continents. It is well-known that abuse is a global problem and no area is immune. Unfortunately, this slow growth in transparency only occurred because brave people provided details of their abuse (sometimes anonymously, and sometimes with their names). This has given strength to others to also disclose their abuse, and to open the secrecy that was previously imposed on victims. It has also been recognised that the secrecy of past cases allowed some perpetrators to continue their abuse, perhaps in a new area of unsuspecting people when they were silently shifted to a new field. That secrecy may have been common in general society many years ago, but is no longer acceptable. Victims, perhaps from many years ago, are still living with the trauma. Their healing requires open acknowledgement of all historic cases so they can see that their hurt is recognised. In some cases, they can realise that they were not the only victim of their perpetrator. WINGS has received reports of abuse in Europe, Latin America, Asia, Australasia and Africa.
Now is the time for those areas to provide reports that can be published by WINGSUp until Dean Bruer, the standard operating practice of Overseers and Workers has been to only deal with CSA perpetrators if allegations were proven by a court conviction. It is now slowly being acknowledged by Workers (at least in North America) that this past practice has been skewed way too heavily in favoring perpetrators. The result of this flawed approach has been many more victims of CSA, victims who could have been protected if allegations had been taken seriously and protective actions taken by the church leaders. The principles of justice (innocent until proven guilty) can still be upheld, while treating allegations seriously to the extent that prevents further victims in the future. It is not clear in those other countries whether these lessons have yet been learned, and appropriate changes made to how allegations are dealt with. As in North America, the responsibility for dealing appropriately with alleged perpetrators will lie with the Friends as well as their Workers. The priority from now, worldwide, must not be minimizing reputational damage to the church, or protecting reputations of those in charge, but plainly and simply preventing any more victims of CSA and SA within the church. Which means taking allegations seriously!
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Post by Admin on Jun 20, 2023 10:41:57 GMT -5
To the workers advocating for changeLetter from an online network of friends who are encouraging workers to start and continue taking action for a safer F&W fellowship. From the authoring group: "This letter, published on June 17, was written by a young woman in our group to express our support and encouragement for workers advocating for change within the fellowship. The bullet points in the letter were formulated using input from members of the Connected and Concerned Friends group, our worldwide group of 1500+ members concerned about the prevalence of child sexual abuse and sexual abuse within the fellowship. We created our platform on June 4th, 2023 as a way to keep people updated, connected, having important conversations, and working toward positive change. In all of this, the goal is to uphold Jesus, and support the healthy examination of traditions." Connected and Concerned Friends connected-and-concerned-friends.mn.co/We see you. We appreciate you. We care for you. We are so thankful for your continuous effort to restore trust and to create a safer community. We can’t imagine how tremendously difficult it is for you right now. You’re hearing the desperate cries just as we are. You’re processing the layers of betrayal and distrust just as we are. You’re realizing how you’ve contributed to a silent and unsafe community, just as we are. You’re receiving pressure to stand up, both from the crying souls around you and from within. There seems to be an expectation for you to suddenly get everything perfectly right without proper training. While you’re still hurting. Sometimes your heartfelt, best-intentioned words are attacked, your intentions misinterpreted. We understand how much that must hurt. We see you trying, and for that we are so thankful. We want to encourage you to keep fighting, keep working for justice, for safety, for the victim-survivors, for the women, children, and men in the fellowship. It’s ok if it’s not perfect from the first try. We often learn best from the act of trying. We promise to do our best to be gracious and understanding with our feedback. While all of this is going on, you’re expected to maintain your position and routine in the ministry – continuing to visit homes, continuing gospel meetings and conventions, continuing to “be there” for everyone around you – while you’re struggling to process everything yourself. The ministry you’ve given your life to has betrayed you. Your companions, your overseers, those you’ve looked to for guidance, those you’ve confided in. And yet, you continue to have a love for the ministry, a love for souls. And that’s why you keep fighting. You know God is still reigning, that God is righteous in His judgment and cares so deeply for the victim-survivors you’re fighting for. We see you facilitating the difficult conversations with the workers around you. We see you listening to the stories of the victim-survivors. We see you, all hours of the day, holding space and time for the needs of the people around you. We see you taking action and implementing change. You’re not sure how much longer your boss is going to be in his position. And yet you feel compelled to continue under his direction. There are so many conflicting commands surrounding you: from the concerned, from the victim-survivors, from the young workers, from the head workers, from those asking you to be silent. We encourage you to continue to listen to the voice that matters the most: our Heavenly Father’s. And while we long to be an encouragement and support to you, we know that He is the greatest source of comfort, hope, and support for you, as well as us. These are a few of the things we’ve been sharing in the “Encouraging Thoughts” portion of our group: “There is no place where earth’s sorrows are more felt than up in heaven” (hymn #54) Something good and pure will come from this. God will not be mocked. Stand true and faithful. Samuel listened to God. He heard the hard things and then he ACTED with the support of God. He stayed true during the hard times and God gave the victory. I’m thankful God can give us comfort even while we fight the battle. We may not have peace yet but God can keep us in the fight. The church is the plant, and God is the gardener, and He is using His loppers right now. This is what we must be willing for if we desire to remain His church. 2 Corinthians 1 gives such a beautiful illustration of what a healthy relationship between the church and our workers ought to be. I Peter 1:3-9 Hymn #6 (When I survey the wondrous cross) Hymn #69 (To whom, Lord, shall we go?) Jesus is the only way, only truth, only light, only Son of God, only hope, only Word and only Redeemer! A church isn’t the basis of Salvation. Rules aren’t the basis of Salvation. Only Jesus is! A study of God using women: Rahab, Deborah & Jael, Miriam, Lydia, Phoebe, Priscilla God sees you. God knows exactly where you are. You may feel lost, but God has found you. He is already all around you. Psalms 147:3 “Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.” The children of Israel trembled before Goliath, with none willing to go before him. It took a lad, with a sling and a stone to bring down a giant. David’s brother was angry, questioning his motive in coming to the battle. Saul was willing to give David armor, but unwilling to face the giant himself. 2 Corinthians 4:16 2 Timothy 3 Psalms 46:10 "If He brought you to it, He'll bring you through it." “And though my lot be cast today, somewhere I would not choose, help me to know that in thy will, I shall but gain not lose” (hymn #259) Luke 16:10-11 And here are some words of encouragement that folks from our group (a group of nearly 1400 friends supporting you) have written specifically for you: Perfect love casts out fear. God is working with us ❤ thank you Truth sets us free. Any delay in removing predators implies guilt or complicity. Survivors have waited decades, years to feel safe in fellowship. Thank you for ensuring meetings are a refuge, not a torture chamber. Seek Jesus alone. Step out in faith with him. Jesus doesn’t change, but we must. For all of these years, we have not. Seems like we’ve focused more on Paul than on Jesus (more on appearance than the weightier matters). We completely support all of your efforts to be more like Jesus. We are trying to do the same. “In the warfare we are waging For the truth and for the right, When the conflict fierce is raging With the powers of the night, God needs workers brave and true; May He, then, depend on you?” (hymn #372) Thank you for being among “The Brave and the True.” We are here, “waiting in the wings” to help with anything we possibly can. To support you, to work with you, to facilitate the needed changes within our fellowship. Please don’t hesitate to reach out with anything we can do to be of help for the greater work currently happening. Finally, if you are not ok, that is ok. There is support available, and it is ok to seek out that support. With a unified purpose for truth, honesty, and God’s will to be done, Connected & Concerned Friends
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Post by Admin on Jun 20, 2023 11:45:50 GMT -5
The Power Dynamics of Sexual Abuse
Jun 19 My name is Loyd R Heimbruch. Some people on Wings know me, others may know who I am. Some people may not know my name, but they may know me as “Andrew’s Dad”.
Andrew was born with a disability. He has Down Syndrome and Autism. He is mostly non-verbal, but he does understand when spoken to, and he can read. He can speak two to four word simple sentences if he is motivated to do so.
When Andrew was in elementary school, he was open enrolled to a neighboring school district for their special education program. His transportation was on the school’s van for children with disabilities.
One day when Andrew was in 5th grade, he was dropped off later than usual. He immediately went to the back yard, took off all of his clothes, and sat on his swing set. He had never done anything like this before (and he hasn’t done it since). So Priscilla and I talked about it, and we were suspicious. Andrew could not tell us why he took off his clothes, could not tell us why the van was late, and could not tell us what happened that day. So the next day we took him to a pediatrician we knew that specialized in CSA cases. The exam was inconclusive. We talked to the school and arrangements were made immediately for him to ride the regular school bus with the other children. This was an appropriate modification to accommodate the situation.
Andrew is now 27 years old. Since he was a young child, he would stay with me in the men’s dorms at conventions. When he needed an afternoon nap I couldn’t leave him unattended in the men’s dorm, because of DTA (Don’t Trust Anybody). So Priscilla would take him to the women’s dorm to sleep where he could safely be left unattended and checked on occasionally. Or she could stay with him, as there was a speaker in there. There wasn’t a speaker in the men’s dorms.
As he became an adolescent, and then a young adult, we continued to use the same procedures because this was safest for him. He is a vulnerable adult, and we cannot place him in a situation where he could be harmed. Most of the ladies at convention understood this. Andrew understands that his “equipment” is just like his Dad’s, but he has no clue why. He understands that men and women are different, but he has no idea why. The ladies pretty much understood this (because it was obvious). One year someone complained. However, we couldn’t do it any differently, so we began preparing to leave convention. Just before we were going to start packing, Priscilla was informed that if he stayed in a particular area away from others she could have him in the Women’s dorms. So it worked out, but it was an unsettling experience for us.
Well, the thing is that a vulnerable adult has the exact same issues regarding SA as a child has regarding CSA. For all practical purposes, he has an adult body with a child’s brain, and very limited communication skills.
The core of the issue is that any relationship that Andrew has with anyone is a relationship where one person has the advantage. And it isn’t him. It is not possible for him to have a relationship with others that is a balanced, equal relationship. The person on the other side has the power. If something inappropriate happens, it most certainly is not his fault. He cannot prevent it. It is completely and entirely on the other party. He wouldn’t be able to talk about it. He wouldn’t feel guilty. But he would feel violated. This is only one example of an unequal relationship. Other unequal relationships are:
Adult - Child Older Experienced Adult - Young Naive Adult Adult - Vulnerable Adult Supervisor - Employee Male in the Work - Female in the Work Male Overseer - Any Other Worker Any Worker – Any Non-Worker in the Fellowship And others that I’m not going to get into here. The key here is who has the power. If one person is perceived as having more power (whether they actually have it or not), then anything that occurs of a sexual behavior is entirely the responsibility of the one who has the power. The victim is blameless and guiltless, just like my son Andrew.
I do not for a moment believe that there can be a consensual relationship between a brother and sister worker. There is no such thing. The men have the authority and all of the power. The power imbalance is so great that it is impossible to consider them as equals. Having an inappropriate relationship with a sister worker is an abuse of power, unless they both leave the work and get married.
Even if the woman initiates it, it is still all on him. Because he has the power. If this happens where the man is CEO of a corporation, he’s gone. Even if the woman initiated it, because he is the one in authority. He stands to lose everything. His job, his marriage, his family, and worst of all his integrity. It may be very difficult to resume his career in a similar position. A person needs to keep their body under subjection (I Corinthians 9:27). Otherwise, he should become a castaway. That’s what it says. Do people just check in their brain at the door when opportunity is there? Much better to use the brain that the Lord gave us and use the door as a way of escape.
I was mentioning to Mrs. Wonderful the other day about some of my experiences when various women tried to initiate something. Some before we were married, some after. It is absolutely necessary to keep my integrity.
This is even more important for clergy, as they have the additional responsibility of being in a position of trust. They are the shepherds of souls, that are thought of as being willing to lay down their lives for the sheep. If they harm the sheep instead of protecting them, there will be a heavy price to pay. The Good Shepherd is simply not going to put up with it.
Speak the Truth in Love, with temperance. Be ye angry, and sin not. The truth will overcome.
Love in Christ
Loyd R Heimbruch
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Post by Admin on Jun 23, 2023 22:29:13 GMT -5
Letter by 'Anonymous Participant' to Advocates For The Truth
I sent out this email earlier this week. I'm choosing to post anonymously here, primarily because my social media serves other functions connected to my professional work, but I'm fine with people knowing who I am.
This one comes with a trigger warning.
SUBJECT: LORD BE NOT SILENT... CONTINUE TO EXPOSE THE PEDOPHILES, THE RAPISTS, AND THE COWARDS WHO ENABLE THEM
You might be "shocked" to read such words from a "professing man". Maybe this is shocking because we are so conditioned to speaking in euphemisms and hearing euphemisms from "the platform"
(A euphemism is an innocuous word or expression used in place of one that is deemed offensive or suggests something unpleasant.)
How often are we hearing pithy quotes, and verses cloaked in vague language to undermine and dismiss the BRUTAL truth of this decades-long cover-up?
Let me give you an example: "I behaved in a way that was unwise many years ago towards a young person."
That's a lot more palatable than "I repeatedly sexually assaulted a helpless minor by forcibly placing my hands on their genitals against their will and then told them it was our little secret."
How about: "I conducted myself inappropriately towards a sister worker while at preps one year."
A lot more palatable than: "I violently raped a sister worker, ignoring her sobbing pleas to stop while threatening her that if she ever spoke a word of it, she would be excommunicated, and called a liar because no one would believe her."
If you feel uncomfortable reading those words, imagine YOU were the victim of being VIOLENTLY violated against your will. If that doesn't make you feel sick to your stomach, a burning rage inside of you, or a grief so deep it feels like your stomach doesn't have a bottom... maybe you have a "seared conscience".
Sackcloth and Ashes. I've heard about this from "the platform" many times over the years.
Sackcloth and ashes were used as a public sign of deep repentance, painful grief and profound humility before God.
When Jonah declared to the people of Nineveh that God was going to destroy them for their wickedness, everyone from the king on down responded with repentance, fasting, and sackcloth and ashes.
Esther 4 describes Mordecai tearing his clothes, putting on sackcloth and ashes, and walking out into the city “wailing loudly and bitterly.” Mordecai felt this deep, overwhelming emotion to King Xerxes’ declaration that gave evil Haman the authority to destroy the Jews.
If there was ever a time for "sackcloth and ashes", the time IS NOW.
Those who truly respect God and his righteousness are DEEPLY grieved and BITTERLY sorry for all of the pain and suffering inflicted on the most vulnerable in this fellowship. The number of victims and abusers is STAGGERING.
If we lived in old testament times, conventions would be places of deep mourning and sorrow before God because the "priesthood" has been so badly corrupted that there are HUNDREDS of predators that have DESTROYED the lives of THOUSANDS of God-fearing Christians, leaving them bitter, broken and many even wondering if God exists.
I started hearing an outpouring of stories of the AWFUL things that happened to women and children in this fellowship after I wrote my second letter...
Story after story of traumatized victims pleading for SOMEONE to hear them, to speak for them, still tortured, thinking that their soul is bound for hell because they were either excommunicated or were so traumatized they simply couldn't bear to be in another meeting listening to flowery sounding spiritual words from their abuser, watching people unknowingly praise pathological predators.
So, yes, perhaps you will notice a shift in tone from my first letter, to my second letter, and now to this, my third letter.
For every brave victim who bares their soul publicly and tells their story, there are 10 more who are still unable to come forward because it's too painful. The stories I have heard are not my stories to tell, that would be a betrayal of the trust these individuals showed me by sharing their stories.
But suffice it to say, after the shock of the outpouring of stories, I found myself oscillating between feeling numb, feeling helpless, feeling intense anger and deep sorrow. I'm a trauma-informed professional and I am experienced in hearing stories like this in my professional work, but this feels more deeply personal because it involves my faith and a Christian fellowship that I have been a part of for the better part of 4 decades.
I'm not sure what's worse: the deafening silence, or the dripping insincerity coming from the letters of perpetrators that amount to "I'm sorry that I got caught, poor me" and the false humility of "For the sake of the ministry, it's with a heavy heart I'm stepping down."
WHERE IS THE DEEP SORROW AND BITTER REPENTANCE??
It isn't there because pathological predators don't have a conscience.
They can only ever feel like the victim and prey on the emotions of naive followers who desperately want to see the best in others, and think "It must have just been a moment of weakness in the flesh".
It is immensely difficult for a kind-hearted person to actually understand the brutal heartless violence of child rape and sexual assault. And, so cognitive dissonance leads to denial and disbelief
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO SPOT A PREDATOR?
A predator is charming, charismatic and highly skilled in EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION.
In public, predators are well-behaved, well-respected individuals, and that's what can make it so hard to spot one, and why there can be so much cognitive dissonance around a predator being revealed. "I can't believe it" ..."How could they do that?"... "I've never seen ANY signs, they were always SO Helpful!"
It would also be incredibly difficult to walk around and start every human interaction with the assumption that the other individual might be a pathological predator. We WANT to believe that most people are simply good people who "make mistakes in moments of weakness"...
Because the reality that there are HUNDREDS of heartless predators who repeatedly commit rape and sexual assault for DECADES is far more terrifying
That there are complicit overseers who ship sexual predators to 3rd world countries where their crimes are even LESS likely to be reported, is heart-achingly painful to realize
Let's not even get started on those who are not only CONSUMING child pornography but PRODUCING it. That is a special kind of Satanic EVIL.
And so people simply bury their heads in the sand and say things like "I don't want to hear about it"
WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR A VICTIM TO COME FORWARD?
Because speaking up is COSTLY and PAINFUL and has a very high probability of a damaged or destroyed life, and a low possibility actually securing a conviction
Imagine, the life you have always known, the fellowship you have been a part of, and have been taught is THE WAY OF GOD, and the ministers are GOD'S SERVANTS, all of that comes crashing down when a "Servant of God" rapes or sexually abuses you
And then victims are disbelieved, shunned and slandered for "causing division" and "having a wrong spirit"
The ignorance of being told to "forgive and move on" can only be spoken by individuals that have zero clue about trauma. A single traumatic incident can be enough to badly derail someone's life for years to come
I know this from personal experience, having been a victim of violent trauma. And then, after the trauma, being told "Oh, that was nothing, you should hear what happened to ...." or "oh you're lucky that that's all that happened to you..."
The behaviour of a traumatized person will get labelled as "troubled" or even "crazy". An abuse victim who has been traumatized will behave erratically because they are trying to cope with HUGE, painful, unpredictable emotions
And so, when you compare a charming, well-spoken, charismatic individual who appears to be well-behaved in public with an unpredictable "troublemaker", people who have been conditioned to be obedient, meek sheep are going to side with what is most familiar and comfortable
Because let's not forget just how shameful it is to be a victim of a sexual crime. So shameful that people will even think that the victim must have "done something to deserve it" or "been asking for it"
And then, people mistakenly believe that victims should just "get over it" have no idea about how trauma is recorded in a "timeless" part of the brain, and a traumatic incident can be remembered for YEARS or even DECADES later, as though it was just yesterday. Let me be clear: TIME DOES NOT HEAL TRAUMA!!
So, to the ignorant men who have the GALL to say "Oh, that little thing, that was years ago", your ignorance perpetuates the trauma of victims
To say things like "We're concerned for their (predator's) souls", bringing them back into fellowship screams LOUD AND CLEAR, we care more about our PREDATORS (because of the place they held in our fellowship) than we do about the VICTIMS
To cope with this trauma, alcohol and drugs often enter the picture. When the painful trauma is burned into your brain, and your brain can't shut off, it has to be forcibly numbed
And yet again, imagine the insult of hearing "Oh, so-and-so is 'struggling' with alcohol."
There may even be more serious behaviour such as cutting or even suicide attempts!! When someone is suffering so desperately that death seems like the only escape, this should make it shockingly clear just how excruciating their lived experience is
And so I want to SCREAM: HOW UNCOMFORTABLE DO YOU HAVE TO BE BEFORE YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE TRUE PAIN, SUFFERING, INDIGNITY AND CRUELTY THAT THESE EVIL PREDATORS HAVE INFLICTED ON INNOCENT VULNERABLE VICTIMS?? So, to close this out, let me tell you about the 4 types of responses I have received from my letters:
1. DEAFENING SILENCE. (FROM ACTIVE WORKERS IN PARTICULAR)
*I do understand at this point many workers' email inboxes are likely overflowing.
I have been informed that there are cowardly overseers who simply hit "Delete" rather than face the truth of their complicit cover-ups and their colleagues' criminal behaviour
Of the DOZENS of workers and overseers I have included in my public emails, I have received 6 replies from active workers. 3 were the basic platitudes of "we're all grieved for the Kingdom of God"
Two were actually meaningful replies from workers I count to be personal friends of mine, and one from an overseer who expressed genuine grief about the situation, and asked about how he could be a better support for victims
So, are the other workers being muzzled by overseers? Told that if they speak up they too will be punished? Perhaps they are afraid that their words will end up "on the internet"
2. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT": (PLEASE STOP SPEAKING UP)
The people who reply like this are telling me "You are shaking my faith". If your faith is being shaken, your faith is NOT in the LIVING GOD and the ROCK OF CHRIST
Your faith is in a man-made institution that is "build on the sand" and now when the reality of the evil and corruption that resides at the top of this hierarchy comes to light, people are scared. And so they retreat into denial and cognitive dissonance
To those who are asking me to be silent because I'm making you uncomfortable, I have a simple answer: NO! Your discomfort does NOT take priority over victims being heard
3. THANK YOU!!
This comes from people who are not directly victims, but desperately HUNGRY for honest TRUTH, and they are sick and tired of being pandered to with passive platitudes
4. PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING!!
This comes from the MANY brave victims who have been silenced, shamed, shunned and dismissed over the years, who are FINALLY being heard and believed
I have heard your stories, and I will honour your strength and courage by REFUSING to stay silent in the face of the disgusting EVIL and COWARDLY cover-ups that are STILL happening
Let me be CLEAR: There are many days I want to bury my head under the covers.
I would far rather be playing with my little boy who has no idea of the evil that has existed and been covered up. I would rather be spending time with my family, working on my business ...
ANYTHING other than spending HOURS agonizing over the words written in these letters
But, the words burn inside of me and I cannot and will not remain silent
When my little boy grows up, I want him to know that his Dad stood up for RIGHT and TRUTH and did his best to use his voice and actively FIGHT for the victims and to hold the predators and their complicit enablers accountable.
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Post by Admin on Jul 1, 2023 23:41:04 GMT -5
Letter to Overseers - Bryan & Celia Hansen
Jul 2 Thank you for your care and thoughtfulness. I'll make it as plain as I can from my perspective. I will also reply all as you suggested and I understand my email may be forwarded or seen outside of this group, including being posted in other forums. However, what I’m going to say is what I would say to any who ask so I feel I can be transparent to this small group of people.
Ray and Barry, the overseers they oversee, and the overseers in place after place, have actively condoned and facilitated child sexual assault and sexual assault by their actions. They have knowingly moved people or reintegrated people into close contact with other people in this fellowship when they had far more than sufficient evidence to understand the harm that had already occurred and would be almost certain or absolutely certain to occur again. The pleading of ignorance or of a lack of understanding by these men in letters and public proclamations of what child sexual assault and sexual assault is and how to address it is transparently false. It is a lie that borne of a heart that will not acknowledge what we have personally witnessed them knowing in the past. And further, surely, if the Spirit of Jesus would teach us anything, it would be not to have sex with children or to use the position of the ministry to gain access to children, women, and men to sexually assault them. Honestly, it does not take MinistrySafe training to teach us what the Spirit of Christ is already plainly teaching, let alone what even natural human care would teach us. There have been enough people already removed from the ministry explicitly for those reasons just in our current crisis, with allegations known to the overseers and many others dating back decades, that these continued assertions of ignorance are now completely and publicly without merit.
I am looking for true repentance. To me, this looks like a full and open confession of every single instance, including date, situation, and perpetrator, that they have ever dealt with, had direct knowledge of, or input into. In every case where the perpetrator is still living they would go to that perpetrator and remove them from the physical presence of fellowship and comply with all legal and ethical requirements for reporting. In all cases they would meet with and apologize directly to every reported survivor of each perpetrator, and continue to do so with every survivor who becomes known in the future. Further, if any part of this requirement means that they admit to legal culpability, they would be prepared to plead guilty and comply with any legal sentences imposed rather than mount a legal defense in every jurisdiction where this is applicable. These are the conditions they have imposed many times in the past on others in many situations. These are the marks of repentance that would also begin to reduce the harm that has been done and is being done.
In addition, these are the same marks I would expect every overseer internationally to demonstrate as well.
Harm is continuing. Every moment they do not do this is high risk for another person to become a victim and have to fight to become a survivor.
We cannot talk adequately about the future until the past is addressed. This is not negotiable. And anyone who is a survivor or has worked with or listened to survivors recognizes this is the only path forward. To date, in nearly every place where these overseers have dealt with this issue in this current crisis, they have not acted to stop harm or prevent further harm until backed into a corner by other people. This is not acceptable behavior in those we have trusted to demonstrate the life of Jesus.
It should not take lawsuits or other legal action to compel testimony under oath, or to have men participate in legal depositions under penalty of perjury, or to compel legal discovery of e-mail and text correspondence with one another, to simply have men to do what even the most base of men in this world have decided should be done when it becomes known that people in positions of trust are or have sexually abused other people, including children. It is lower than the minimum of what we would ever expect of any person who is being taught by the Spirit of Christ.
What was different about Jesus is that he is fully focused on the heart. Jesus said A. I have loved you as my Father has loved me and B. Love you one another as I have loved you. And further, that we would be known to be his because we live that love. People have focused on all the other parts of the Bible because they have no idea how to do that most important part. Because it seems impossible. Jesus could not literally have meant what he said, that we should actually or could actually love one another in that way. But we can. And we must. And if we don’t, we are not his.
Jesus also plainly said that we would know them by their fruits. And that the same well cannot bring forth both bitter and sweet. It is one or the other. For years that was a key part of my cognitive dissonance. But no longer. We are not looking to reduce the bitter. Or put more of the sheep’s wool onto the wolf’s back. We are looking for sweet water, for fruit that loves as Jesus loves and as the Father loves the Son.
If we continue to try to legislate righteousness and put up barriers to prevent harm, we are not saving any souls, we are simply doing what the law is designed to do, which is to impose exterior control on people who are not internally guided to do no harm. It is not the saving of those people’s souls that the law brings about. It is only a reduction of harm that they do to others. For them to be saved, they must become as little children. And the fruit of that is unmistakable. We cannot legislate the fruit of the Father’s work. But we definitely know it when we see and taste it.
So I encourage us all to only focus on the wolves to expel them from doing harm. And then to focus on people who seek what Jesus sought for his own. And realize that when we feel tired from pushing, it is only because we are trying to push out the wolf from doing more harm, not to save the wolf. The wolf can only be saved by a Father who can replace the heart of the wolf with the heart of the sheep, and that is nothing but a miracle. However, in this situation, around predator behavior…repentance means voluntarily removing themselves from any contact with sheep as the sheep still are likely to have a strong and expected fear response. And loving others truly from the heart would mean that the predator would begin to understand and feel things from the perspective of the prey, and would understand that they may not be able to both be loving AND in constant contact with most of the sheep, but only with the Shepherd. Fellowship with individual sheep would have to be on those sheep’s terms and not initiated by the person who has been a predator. Much in the same way that a “shut-in” person would be. And we know how richly the Shepherd is able to pour out on people in those situations. So the predator who has a new heart, which is only a miracle, will not lose any good thing. They will have from the Father the same as all the rest of his children. Love…full and abundant. And the fruit of their new heart will be the same as Jesus…it will do no harm and it will be sweet.
Many of these people we see have spoken good words. And as Jesus said, we can do as they say. But we cannot do as they do. Because what they say may mimic the heart of God. But what they DO reveals what is in their OWN heart. And THAT is bitter and its effect is destructive and hurts people who are soft and have the heart of a child.
I am highly skeptical of listening tours when I see so many people not even hearing the cries of the victims and survivors in so many places. Thousands of victims. Hundreds of perpetrators and many of those in the work all over the world. Just reading the gut-wrenching, soul-sickening story after story on places such as WingsForTruth, which is run by all or nearly all people who are currently “professing” in this fellowship, leads us to know that repentance of all the harm we have made possible is the first step. And we have not seen evidence of that repentance yet. We have seen token words. But we have not seen the acts of repentance, as I describe at the beginning of this email. We know that there are still perpetrators with allegations who are actively in the work and participating in fellowship with people at risk for further harm.
Surely the marks of repentance are what must happen, and there must be mourning as we repent of what we have enabled in this fellowship, and especially in the ministry, year after year, decade after decade. Then we can show that indeed we DO esteem the least as greatest and we DO love one another as the Father loves his Son, and his Son loves us.
Best,
Bryan
Bryan & Celia Hansen
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Post by Admin on Jul 4, 2023 20:57:32 GMT -5
Friend’s letter to Ray and Barry
Jul 4 Dear Ray and Barry,
In regards to the plethora of information coming to light about the mishandling of CSA/SA cases I feel compelled to write again. When a meaningful and sustainable policy has been put in place to prevent tragedy in this arena let’s have some further conversation about bullying and other forms of abuse that heavily contribute to the former.
Jack Mulkey often told us about the person who was asked “How long have you been in the Lord’s WAY”. The answer of course was “way too much and far too often”. In retrospect I’ve been guilty of this and realize my clumsiness in handling God’s work has been grievous. I understand not wanting to be rash or getting ahead of God. I know the feeling of people looking to you for leadership and being overwhelmed by the questions and not having answers. I know how hard it is to maintain an image of perfection and control, trying to keep "the box" together when it is completely falling apart because of the sand that it is.
I say this respectfully… would you ever consider that God is responsible for dissolving the box? Not allegations, not history, not cover ups, not mistakes that were made, not Dean B. Not CSA/SA, not ignorance. These are all simple tools. God is using the many voices of the unheard and abused to expose the sand that we have built on?
What if the time has actually come to dissolve the ministry, especially the current structure of overseership? This may be my own opinion but are you open to the Spirit's direction here? How has strong oversight been helpful? Logistics? Unity? Honestly? Listening? Trust? Safety? Many of us know the feeling of hearing the story and afterwards Nathaniel says "You are the man"!
Something to ponder… mental instability and mental problems very often lack pathology. Meaning these problems stem from trauma and not being heard more often than something physically wrong with the brain. When we judge people to have mental health problems let's ask how I have contributed to this. Listen, forego power and control then see how changes occur in one's mental health status! Being a "Mental Health Professional" is not so difficult. Jesus was the greatest Authority on Mental Health this world has ever seen!
Can anything be done to undo what has been done? None of us have lived long in this world before we see many things we wish had been done differently. An apology comes to mind. Not the kind my kids say to each other when they are forced to. Not the kind that is guarded or accompanied with excuses. The kind that comes with self-exploration and from the heart.
This crisis isn't a distraction from the "Gospel work". The listening, connecting, self-examination and heart-felt. "I'm sorry" which can lead to healing… IS the "Gospel Work"!
Sincerely,
Rolland Sarver
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Post by Admin on Jul 4, 2023 21:09:05 GMT -5
An open letter to victim/survivors by 'the friends' in NC/VA/MD/DE has been posted on the 'Laura's Space' board, a safe space for victim/survivors of CSA and SA in the F&W church. professing.proboards.com/thread/32148/open-letter-victim-survivors-friendsThis letter was drafted on behalf of concerned friends in the regions NC/VA/MD/DE. They have been meeting on Zoom calls, and on the first call their opening topic was "how can we support the victims?" and this letter is one of the results from that conversation. When it was shared online, several folks from other regions also opted to have their names added. They have asked for it to be shared openly "to help victims feel seen, heard, and believed; and so they know that we are safe people that they can talk to".
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Post by Admin on Jul 11, 2023 20:22:44 GMT -5
Friends’ Letter to Overseers and Church
Jul 11 The following letter is a collective cry from some of us who love the fellowship that we have enjoyed and are horrified and heartbroken over the recent revelations of years of Child Sexual Abuse and Sexual Abuse within our fellowship and the handling of these situations. These revelations have highlighted a need for accountability and meaningful change within the structure of the ministry. We are aware that we have many honest and loving workers who seek to point us to Jesus and they are feeling overwhelmed and hurt by all of this as well. We seek only to encourage and support them and each other with a healthier fellowship and ministry.
This letter is written in two parts. The first part is addressed to three specific overseers pleading that they examine themselves and take responsibility for what has happened under their watch. The second part is written to the broader church with a suggestion for a path forward. It is our sincere desire that the path forward is led by God and is scripturally sound and thus it needs further thought, prayer and guidance by the church.
This letter was not written in haste, anger or bitterness but with serious and prayerful input from many people over the last couple of months as we have sought confirmation from the Holy Spirit.
If this letter reflects the cry of your heart, you can support it by adding your signature. The letter will be open for signatures until July 17, 2023.
To Ray Hoffman, Barry Barkley, and Dale Shultz:
We are writing this in good faith and out of great concern for the state of our fellowship and ministry. We have enjoyed many years of fellowship and we have a love for one another and for our ministers who love and point us to Jesus. Most importantly we have a love for God, and a sincere desire to know Him better through His son. We feel profound hurt, disappointment, and righteous anger as revelations of abuse, coverup, and mistreatment continue to come to light. We are sorrowful over those who have felt they must leave the fellowship because of these things. While CSA/5A is horrific and the most pressing issue that needs to be resolved, these past days have revealed there are many other things in our fellowship and ministry that are not Christlike, including:
CSA / SA being allowed to proliferate even when obvious to overseers, workers and others Decisions that are not aligned with the Spirit of Christ Dysfunction in the ministry causing mental health problems and burnout Abuse of power and authority Unwillingness to believe and work with victims or advocates of victims The continued lack of a spirit of deep humility and repentance by you specifically is distressing. The apostle John asks us to try the spirits, and when we do that, we find ourselves asking - where is the Christlike response? Where is the asking '"what can we do to help?" Where is the compassion? Where is the sackcloth and ashes? How can the church be expected to believe you didn't have knowledge of so many of these crimes and moral shortcomings, when over and over people have spoken and indicated your awareness, and even mistreatment of them for bringing the accusations forward?
Three specific examples involve Ira Hobbs, Leslie White and Robert Corfield. We continue to read honest and heartfelt accounts by those who testify that you had knowledge of a buses by these men, as well as others, over the course of years. Indeed, there are numerous accounts of weaponizing our faith and using fear to silence and shame people for bringing legitimate CSA/SA and other concerns forward. In some cases, people have been removed from meetings because they dared to speak up about the abuse and wrong in the ministry. These situations are examples of a failure of leadership and do not reflect a Spirit led ministry.
There are two accounts in the Bible that come to mind of appropriate responses to shortcomings. The first is in 2 Sam 12 when Nathan came to David after he had sinned. Nathan said to David "Thou art the man." David, the King in the highest place of authority, immediately said "I have sinned against the Lord." When he learned what the consequences of his decision would be, the loss of a little one, he fasted and laid in sackcloth - a sign of real humility and sorrow.
The other account is that of Jonah when he came to Nineveh and told them of their sin and imminent destruction. The people of the city and even the king himself put on sackcloth and sat in ashes out of sorrow and repentance.
The church is saying to you: "Thou art the man". The church is playing the part of Jonah. We are now months into these heartbreaking accounts being shared - where is the true sorrow? Where is the turning and repenting? Where is the Spirit led response? The actions to right these wrongs? There should be tears streaming down your cheeks out of compassion for all those who have been wronged and out of a deep repentance for your decisions. The apologies and actions of removing CSA offenders recently have come only after great pressure and exposure. While the decisions you were making were perhaps well- meaning at the time, the results have been undeniably poor. The fact that so many in our fellowship are hurting and crying out is evidence of these results.
You are the leaders of our ministry. In any organization, the culture and the tone are set by those in authority. It was as true in the time of the Kings in the Bible as it is now. It has become overwhelmingly clear that within our fellowship there are systemic problems that have resulted from decisions that are not scripturally sound or Spirit led. There has been a profound loss of trust and confidence in the leadership of our ministry. We cannot reasonably expect that the same men that led us into this situation can be the same men to lead us out. If what was happening in our fellowship was happening in any other group, there would be no choice but for leadership to step down for the good of the organization. Further, in the workplace, those committing or covering up serious crimes like these would be immediately fired. Heaven rejoices when even one lost sheep is found - are you willing to step down if it means the faith of even one soul is preserved?
Ray, Barry and Dale -the healing of the church cannot begin until there are real, meaningful changes in leadership. Wouldn't it be better if the decision to step down came from a place of true humility and realization, rather than due to the call of others? To humbly take accountability and responsibility for past wrongs, as the highest authorities in our church? We truly hope you can examine yourselves, let the spirit of Jesus reign In your hearts, and humbly take the lower place.
To the church for consideration: a possible solution
The revelations of the past few months have highlighted a structure that lacks transparency and accountability. We believe our fellowship is precious and we desire it to continue in a healthy, Godly way. As an alternative to address the shortcomings of the current hierarchy and authority, one possible solution could be:
Those currently in the highest authority (Barry, Ray, and Dale specifically) humbly accept accountability and step down from leadership for the good of the church so that healing can begin; other leaders responsible for similar actions should step down as well A council of workers and elders is formed in each region where worker staff is shared. An example of this may be found in Acts 15:22 - "Then the apostles and elders, with the whole church, decided to choose some of their own men and send them to Antioch with Paul and Barnabus. They chose ludas (called Barsabas) and Silas, men who were leaders among the believers." Council should consist of elders, wives and workers, including sister workers Council members should serve single staggered 3 or 4 year rotational terms Responsibilities of the council should include: Appointment of head worker; removal of head worker if necessary Oversight of independent investigations in cases of abuse or accusations of serious wrongdoing, Generally, issues should follow the scriptural intent in Matt 18 of taking the concern to the individual, then be addressed with a witness, and finally taken to the council/church. In cases of criminal abuse, authorities should be notified and handle the investigation. Creation, maintenance, and communication of policies around CSA/SA and codes of worker conduct Consultation on issues of doctrine, structure, finances and worker moves Item # 2 above is only a suggested framework. The role of such councils would need to be further developed by ministers and elders based on their collective understanding of the scriptures and the needs of the church and ministry. Within the body there are many different gifts our friends and workers possess and utilizing their talents along with prayerful, thoughtful consideration, we are confident we can find a better path forward. We are all aware that doing nothing is effectively doing something and it has become abundantly clear the current structure is not healthy and has led to disastrous results for many. Thus, we plead that we would all humbly look to Jesus to be our guide and begin to take Christlike steps forward.
Signed by elders, friends, and former workers who love our fellowship
[signed by 95 names at the time of posting]
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