Bruer - Thread for victims (survivors!) of Oregon abuser(s)

[Admin]

Some facts regarding victims of Dean Bruer (as have been advised by workers), helpfully compiled and reported by CherieKropp

Mar 28, 2023 8:54:06 GMT -5 CherieKropp said:

Some may find it interesting how much the workers are disclosing in their notification letter. NOTE: For anyone claiming "it was consensual"--they may not have had all the info. See below


SOME of the Workers' notification letters did not mention details or nature of the crime/scandal (like Doyle's did).


The letter (probably by Rob Newman in Calif) stated ambiguously: "Recently Doyle Smith and Scott Rauscher shared some very unfortunate and difficult information with us...Considering how serious and shocking these facts are... "


Mark Huddle's letter (WA) stated: "Doyle didn’t know more until one sister came to him at Boring #2 about herself and Dean...As far as I know, other things have only surfaced very recently...There doesn't seem to be any need to go into more detail beyond this."


The more recent letters popping up (in what appears to be a "form notification" used by various states and workers, including Merlin Afleck in Canada and Leroy Sandford ND/SD): "Dean Bruer has been accused of living an immoral double life, and there seems to be ample evidence to support these claims."


Whereas Doyle's notification letter stated the following details: "We have come to the tragic conclusion that Dean Bruer had another side to his life...that Dean was a sexual predator...Dean had his own Best Western Hotel preferred customer account and spent a considerable amount of time and money in motels. As we all know, when he died last June, it was in a motel in Government Camp, OR; a place that he frequented. The receipts often included "two guests". Victims have come forward, and there was very confirming and incriminating evidence found on his computer and phone...His actions include rape and abuse of underage victims..

[Admin]

Mar 29, 2023 17:16:35 GMT -5 peggysullivan said:

Hello,

 I am a former member of this church, but I just heard about the Dean Bruer issue last night as my elderly aunt called me and told me about it. She is still professing
and she is absolutely horrified about this. But she is totally in favor of it being brought out in the open for EVERYONE to know about and talk freely about. She also
feels somewhat betrayed that it went on for so long, supposedly no one knew and if they did know, nothing was done about it. . I agreed with her that the healthiest path forward for ALL is complete transparency and no more cover ups! 

I have worked with victims and survivors of abuse at a professional level and have been a mandated reporter for a VERY long time, so this issue is strong with me. The atmosphere of "secrecy" and cover ups is what allows this type of abuse to go virtually 'undetected' in the fellowship for a very long time and nothing is done about it. 

It takes COURAGE to speak up; whether you are speaking up for yourself or speaking up for someone else. But, speak up is what people MUST do. So, SPEAK UP. Don't be afraid to SPEAK UP. 

Thankfully, we are few generations away now from the generations that wanted to keep sexual abuse hush hush; even parents of children who confided in them, told them to never speak of it again. Rape victims and sexual abuse victims find it hard to come forward because they feel as though they are reliving the rape and abuse. Then, if they are not believed or not treated well by those they report it to, they feel as though they are being raped all over again. I have had several rape victims tell me this. 'It's like I was reliving the rape all over again.' So, many are very reluctant to bring forth charges. They are also afraid of RETALIATION from the perp. Understandable. 

Anyone who does come forward, whether you are a sister worker, a child, anyone that has been abused, I applaud you. There are many more victims that we don't know about because so MANY simply do not report it to the proper authorities, and so whatever statistics you hear, it's probably HIGHER. And that's the reality and nature of this beast. 

[Admin]

Mar 29, 2023 16:43:15 GMT -5 mrdobalina said:

Mar 29, 2023 16:33:58 GMT -5 verna said:

Good this guy encouraged victims to report but how the hell do
You report something that you cannot even name? People need to learn to use their words and the proper words to describe things. Set an example there dude!

In response to this post, I have copied the following from another site.
 I understand that the investigators name is Cynthia.


There is a private investigator that specializes in CSA cases across the nation and has been working on compiling the names of perpetrators inside the “Truth.” She is working with law enforcement in multiple states and is not apart of the “Truth.” All tips and messages will be confidential.

24 hour hotline. You can call or text the number below.

503-386-4634

[Admin]

Mar 30, 2023 10:43:45 GMT -5 bigtrax said:

Mar 29, 2023 13:44:13 GMT -5 snow said:

I feel such compassion for those who were in his family and those who left glowing remarks on his memorial page. How they must feel now that this has been revealed to them. Such a shock to their initial feelings and beliefs about the man. Those close to him that really did not see what he was doing must also feel a lot of self chastisement for 'not seeing it'. It's human nature to blame ourselves for being betrayed and not seeing something we feel should have been obvious. So anyone that didn't see it and feels they should have, be kind to yourself. These people are very good at what they do. Especially when they can cover it up for as many decades as he did.

I also feel so much compassion for those that were his victims that never said anything. They are probably blaming themselves for not speaking out and maybe stopping him earlier. You are not to blame. Do not take this on. Sexual assault is one of the most traumatizing things anyone can have happen to them. I know because I was a survivor of rape at 17 and never reported it or talked about it for years. I was ashamed, scared and I felt I must have done something wrong to have brought this onto myself. I have had therapy and I now understand better how that is a very common place we go when we've been abused. Please do not blame yourself and if you can talk to someone to process the harm done to you, please reach out to those you trust.

One of the things that makes it so much easier for sexual assault to happen in these kinds of groups is because from a very young child we were taught that the workers were always right. At least that was how I was raised in the 50's and 60's. It might not be so much that way in the last few decades so I can't speak to that. But I'm sure there is still a very high level of respect for the workers that makes us trust them. When that trust is broken it's hard to handle it and there is a fear that we might be not believed. Unfortunately, I have read about many who were abused that did not get believed and were told to forgive and pray. I sincerely hope this last example of what is possible behavior of a worker, a person of higher responsibility like an elder etc. will cause the group to rethink how to reform some of the practices that makes it so easy for predators to get away with this in the group. My heartfelt hope is that this latest betrayal will bring needed changes so that those who love the format of the church in the home, conventions etc. can feel safer. Awareness is always a good thing and not believing in hero worship will help people be more alert to what can happen.

Thanks Snow.

New here and my registration to this site collides with the “Dean” news.

The two workers in our OR field met first with the elders early last week then our workers read The Letter aloud with all later in the week in several separate small group meetings. I appreciated that format as it gave everyone ample time to share their immediate feelings; nothing was rushed. There was a lot of tears and for a while we all sat in stunned silence with the only sounds being the occasional sob. The array of inner emotions I feel are broad: betrayal, anger, disappointment, disgust, hurt, etc. Overwhelmingly what was expressed by each was deep compassion and concern for the victims and disgust with Deans actions. We were all very emotional and upset.

My wife became a victim in her early teens some 50 years ago. (Not worker or friend, wasn’t raised ‘fessing) So we’ve been especially moved by these revelations. Because of her CSA experience we have always been extremely careful not to let our children do sleep overs or be alone with any workers or any friends in/out of the fellowship. My wife and I are also very careful not to put ourselves in any potentially compromising situations. The workers & friends we have had around were equally careful and respectful in this manner. My wife and I have always been of the mind that we would report CSA to law enforcement first and if necessary, mention it to the workers later. People need to be held accountable for these horrific crimes; I don’t care who they are.

CSA isn’t something that a victim just “deals with”. You don’t “just get over it”. It’s more like sort out-block out-manage -overcome - REPEAT. Therapy is a tremendous help.

Finally, I have only speculation of the “who knew what, when and how much” aspects of this tragedy but I’m confident that the authorities will drill down and separate the facts from speculation. I’m comforted that God see’s us in our need and will deal with us as dear children. My feelings of compassion for the many victims are immense and I hope they receive the comfort, love, and support they need. And they need justice.

[Admin]

Apr 2, 2023 15:47:06 GMT -5 Grant said:

Apr 2, 2023 14:26:17 GMT -5 curlywurlysammagee said:

The last person an abused church member should talk to is a worker. They have shown they cannot be trusted. Some of them indulge in criminal behaviour.
It is the police the abused should go to.

I agree that going to the workers is not advised, and going to the police is. Having worked with a large number of victim survivors, a lot of help is often needed via counselling before they are able to reach the place to be able to do that if ever at all. Most still choose not to go to the police. That is their choice and there are many reasons they do not. Their choice should be respected and they should not be forced or coerced into doing something they do not want to do. Choice and saying no is their right which was taken away from them by the abuser. Going to a therapist is often the best choice.


People choose to not go to the police for many reasons. Often because they have told someone in the past and not been believed. They may also be wary of people in authority. They risk being ostracized by family and others and numerous other reasons.

Many people do heal and go on to live fulfilling lives.

I will leave it for now.... Discussion is fine, online advice is not recommended.

[Admin]

Apr 2, 2023 18:45:31 GMT -5 meg1 said:

To any elders reading here- please understand that you are in a position of power. You are in a position of power. If you have read the letters sent by the senior brother workers to the folks in your meeting it is most important to ensure that those people know where to go for help with surviving abuse or other trauma caused by this current horror, or horror from the past. It is not appropriate to say that they should talk to the workers about any of this. Support in this trauma needs to come from professional counsellors. Registered phycologists or social workers have the skills and knowledge to help. The workers do not. They do not have the training. Seek professional help. A list of local mental health professionals would be useful. Share that following the letters. Support for survivors is the most important action you can take. Real, legal, useful support.

[Admin]

Apr 8, 2023 17:39:17 GMT -5 1chinesewhispers said:

Have posted on thread…… 'Hello all and CSA'

It’s a long read but takes you inside to see the impact .
The research reviewed as part of this REA shows that being a victim and survivor of CSA is associated with an increased risk of adverse outcomes in all areas of victims and survivors’ lives. Additionally, long-term longitudinal research suggests that – in many cases – these adverse outcomes are not just experienced over the short and medium term following abuse, but instead can endure over a victim and survivor’s lifetime .
In the words of victims and survivors, taken from one of the qualitative studies included in this review:

The outcomes which emerged from the studies reviewed can be grouped into seven areas, as shown in Figure 1 below.
Figure 1: CSA victim and survivor outcome areas with example outcomes



What he did to me affected my whole life, every relationship, my personal identity and the general trajectory of my life’s path. Childhood sexual abuse manifested in all aspects of my life.”
“The effects of what happened have stayed with me, un-dealt with and unprocessed, throughout my life. The damage from my early years has coloured everything else at all stages of my life. I know it sounds dramatic but I’m just telling it like it is.”

Physical health
Experiencing CSA has been associated with a wide range of adverse physical health outcomes. Acute physical injuries to the genital area can result from penetrative abuse, as can sexually transmitted infections. In the longer term, CSA has been linked to a range of illnesses and disabilities: in one study, one CSA victim and survivor in four reported a long-standing illness or disability, compared with one in five of the general population.

Emotional wellbeing, mental health and internalising behaviours
The experience of CSA can have a detrimental effect on general emotional wellbeing, leading to low self- esteem and loss of confidence. Mental health outcomes/internalising behaviours include depression, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), self-harm and suicide, as well as a range of other mental health conditions.
Depression has been found in 57 per cent of young people who have experienced CSE. The increased likelihood of major depression following a history of CSA has been shown to be 2.05 in young adults and 1.83 women victims and survivors, relative to comparison groups. Among victims and survivors of CSE, 37 per cent had generalised anxiety disorder, 58 per cent had separation anxiety disorder, and 73 per cent had PTSD. Rates of self-harm have been shown to be as high as 49 per cent among adult survivors in treatment and 32 per cent among victims and survivors of CSE. The risk of CSA victims and survivors attempting suicide can be as much as six times greater than in the general population. There are some gender differences noted in the prevalence of mental health conditions. In particular, it has been argued that females are more likely to demonstrate internalising behaviours and males are more likely to demonstrate externalising behaviours. The quality of interpersonal relationships has been shown to be instrumental in mitigating or compounding the impacts of CSA on mental health conditions
. Physical health
• Physical injuries
• High BMI
• Problems related to childbirth
• Unexplained medical problems
Emotional wellbeing, mental health and internalising behaviours
• Emotional distress
• Trauma/
PTSD
• Anxiety
• Depression
Externalising behaviours
• Substance misuse
• 'Risky' and inappropriate sexual behaviours
• Offending
Interpersonal relationships
• Reduced relationship satisfaction and stability
• Issues with intimacy and parent-child relationships
Socioeconomic
• Lower educational attainment
• Higher
unemployment
• Financial instability
• Homelessness
Religious and spiritual belief
• Disillusionment with religion
• Faith as a coping mechanism
Vulnerability to revictimisation
• Sexual
revictimisation in childhood and adulthood
• Other types of victimization

THIS IS MY REALITY …………
Unfortunately that is just a small picture of what happens . So when I say the nurses are happy that I am no longer pick my feet till they bleed . I am now pulling my nails off .

[Admin]

Apr 8, 2023 18:09:47 GMT -5 1chinesewhispers said:

Apr 8, 2023 17:53:04 GMT -5 1chinesewhispers said:

MY HEART ❤️ GOES OUT TO ALL VICTIMS NOW ! No more harm to myself today .
I wish I could speak to them , ask if they need a hug or if they needed anything .
THEY NEED THE FUNDS PROMISED BY DOYLE S
ASAP !!!
Because they have the chance of escaping some of these horrible things we do to ourselves .
Again ID: 183-M90150 is
You don’t have to give your name right away , but it alerts law enforcement to act further . Each new letter does make to the CPS on the case number . From there it goes to CPIC which is Canada wide . I don’t know or hear the outcome’s . CPS doesn’t have to talk to me about anything !
Please if you can , if not ready it’s OK .
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG 😑
It seems hard to understand that at first .
Reach out if in Alberta , Calgary to 211 , 311 , crime stoppers , 911 if you’re in danger of something else . They do have a mental health crisis team that works with them . You can call CCASA , Calgary Community’s against sexual assault . They can fast track you . You will get a sex assault worker . There is also a therapy dog there if you require their help . They can sit with you during the sessions . You can call Calgary Distress Center as well . You might also be covered by EFAP if provided where you work .
WHEN YOU ARE READY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Admin]

Apr 18, 2023 21:48:46 GMT -5 peggysullivan said:

Here is a beautiful poem by Rashani Rea



The Unbroken



There is a brokenness

out of which comes the unbroken,

a shatteredness

out of which blooms the unshatterable.

There is a sorrow

beyond all grief which leads to joy

and a fragility

out of whose depths emerges strength.



There is a hollow space

too vast for words

through which we pass with each loss,

out of whose darkness

we are sanctioned into being.



There is a cry deeper than all sound

whose serrated edges cut the heart

as we break open to the place inside

which is unbreakable and whole,

while learning to sing.

[Admin]

Victim/survivor’s second letter to Ray Hoffman


Jun 28
Ray,

I have elected to write you this follow up letter because I never want to appear to be purposely inaccurate or hurt any cause.

Since I sent you my letter, apparently there have been many phone calls between people discussing my sexual abuse as a child. I was not privy to a single one and those discussing my case were never present. I was asked to retract your and John's name with association to it. I was also asked to retract the story about your own abuse and sharing with others. Extended family members feel these are inaccurate.

I will say that if they are, I am not above humbling myself and apologizing. I was a child. I was not present for any (if any) conversations that occurred after my abuse was brought to light. I had not heard your or John's names (or any workers) associated with the event before the day my husband and I had been sitting at bedside with my father in December 2021. I will agree that Dad was heavily medicated at the time. He desperately wanted to speak to me about how sorry he was that he had not protected me back then. It was an extremely uncomfortable conversation. He once again asked me for deeper details. I think he sensed I was not telling him everything. Frankly, I just didn't want to share everything at the time. I had placed that horrible time and the events that surrounded it in a vault and I just didn't want to remove it. My husband and children were all that knew. (and later a therapist) He mentioned a few things that I have not discussed publicly to date about a couple of people I thought to be Clarence's victims as well. (which Dad had spoken about) I have been told they were actually Clarence's son in laws victims. Seems their family had a lot of issues. I have to trust I am being told the truth and with that being said then have to admit, Dad may have been getting people confused in his stories and comments.

I had been building some anger towards you stewing on this. I just didn't know when or how to address it. It wasn't until the Dean Bruer case that I decided to say my piece. I emailed you directly. I had nothing to be ashamed about or concerned that I was inaccurate at that time.

My extended family says there is no way you and John could have known because it was a "family issue." I was in no way even remotely related to Clarence, so I don't totally understand that blanket comment. I suppose my greatest anger, other than to Clarence, is to a family who clearly cared so little for others that they would cover for someone and allow them to harm others outside their family in the meetings. I find it especially upsetting that it was one of his very victims that made the comment. Which goes to show just how ill people are when it comes to child sexual abuse and even their response to it.

So for the sake of transparency and accuracy, I am apologizing and retracting my accusations. I, in no way, can offer any proof of anyone's involvement. I have family who are greatly concerned about how they are being perceived within the meeting by my comments and their place within it. I am tired. I am tired of the ugliness and vitriol.

I am placing my story back in the vault, just as it had been for the past 43 years. I wish the subject had never even come up now. It seems to have just caused a big mess when all I wanted to do was get things off my chest once and for all and also help others along the way. I have made attempts to remove the story from any public or private domain.

I'm sorry for any trouble this has caused you. Feel free to share with whomever you wish.

Sincerely,

Theresa Chambers Hensley