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Post by hurting on Jul 30, 2007 9:53:50 GMT -5
When we don't come to meeting for months no one cares to call you to ask what happend to you and when you finally show up no one bothers to ask why haven't you come to meeting. I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. I don't think I Should go back to meeting anymore. When you leave why are you so rejected. No one wants to talk to you. WHY?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2007 10:15:46 GMT -5
When we don't come to meeting for months no one cares to call you to ask what happend to you and when you finally show up no one bothers to ask why haven't you come to meeting. I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. I don't think I Should go back to meeting anymore. When you leave why are you so rejected. No one wants to talk to you. WHY? Perhaps they don't want to harass you or pressure you. Perhaps they are afraid of offending you. Perhaps they feel it should be your free choice as to whether or not to attend. It looks like they don't care and that may or may not be true, but it's not worth making that assumption and writing off everyone as cold and uncaring. Try finding someone you can talk to freely, who won't judge you when you express concerns and worries. Network a little. There are a few friends out there who are like that and are worthwhile cultivating a friendship with.
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Post by Will on Jul 30, 2007 10:16:15 GMT -5
This happened to me, too. Yet, I bet this isn't universal; it probably depends on the folks in that meeting.
My hunch is that those in the meeting interpret somebody leaving as if the one leaving has rejected them. "So be it", seems to be their reaction -- nobody tried to stop the prodigal son, is the defense for this attitude. Yet, the Bible has the stories of the woman who loses the coin and sweeps the house to find it, etc.
If leaving is a "cry for help" to those in meeting, then that's the wrong reason to leave, IMO.
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Post by las logged out on Jul 30, 2007 11:13:32 GMT -5
When we don't come to meeting for months no one cares to call you to ask what happend to you and when you finally show up no one bothers to ask why haven't you come to meeting. I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. I don't think I Should go back to meeting anymore. When you leave why are you so rejected. No one wants to talk to you. WHY? You will not find a perfect church 2x2 included also look within yourself say your prayers have faith in Jesus
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Post by Brad Lewis on Jul 30, 2007 11:20:50 GMT -5
When we don't come to meeting for months no one cares to call you to ask what happend to you and when you finally show up no one bothers to ask why haven't you come to meeting. I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. I don't think I Should go back to meeting anymore. When you leave why are you so rejected. No one wants to talk to you. WHY? That's an excellent reason to leave the cult. And any reason is a good reason. You know Christ's disciples by the love they have for each other. Instead of going to meetings, read your Bible. Ask questions, search out answers. God bless you for being honest. Brad
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Post by withopeneyes (Mandy) on Jul 30, 2007 11:40:54 GMT -5
I actually had the opposite experience. When we missed a meeting, people were calling us like crazy, and sometimes people would attempt to make us feel guilty for doing so.
When I was hugely pregnant with my first, I would sometimes miss Wednesday night meeting because I would have to rush home, change my clothes (what? wear scrubs to meeting? OH NO.. how sinful!), and then rush to meeting. It was hectic. At some point, I was so exhausted that I knew I wouldn't be able to listen or gather anything from meeting if I went, so I stayed at home and read my bible or a devotional. I would receive phone calls from my MIL (Mother-in-law), or she would drop by my house to see if I was really there. It was... uncomfortable.
Some meetings are on a "home rotation". I have asthma, which goes nutty when I am around certain breeds of dogs, cats, and if the room is stuffy. I could literally pass out if I'm in a stuffy room with not much circulation. Each month, I would miss a meeting at a certain someone's house due to a combination of pets, smells, and the stuffy room. It wasn't a huge deal, I usually stayed at home and read or would call a friend and talk..... or go to bed early.
Nowdays, we have our Christian friends over for fellowship and bible talk. Even if we don't intend on talking about religious issues, we always do.. and it's always wonderful. Sometimes we attend the Sunday evening service. Sometimes we go to the Wed night bible study at our church... but if we don't, we don't feel guilty. We almost always make it to the bible study Sunday morning and then attend the service afterward.... and have much fellowship with our friends throughout the week. We don't limit ourselves to the functions the church provides.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm sorry this has been your experience. When we finally left meetings, the elder and his wife came (separately) to discuss it with us.. but we're really open to what we had to say anyway. I think they wanted us to sugar coat it all, and we didn't. They said they wanted honesty and we gave it to them. Another woman came by and talked to us and was very open to what we had to say, very kind and loving. We still see them from time to time and her daughter babysits for us now and again.
So, some people might not want to hear what you have to say. Others? It simply doesn't occur to them to ask. My husband's family (whom we attended meeting with) acted like nothing had happened when we stopped going. It was very strange. MIL didn't ask any questions or.. anything.
Honestly, even though I didn't want to be "bugged" and hassled into returning to meetings and many others don't either, I often wonder about how it is preached to go after the "one lost sheep" or "lost coin"..... but few do so.
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Post by hurting on Jul 30, 2007 12:12:28 GMT -5
When we don't come to meeting for months no one cares to call you to ask what happend to you and when you finally show up no one bothers to ask why haven't you come to meeting. I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. I don't think I Should go back to meeting anymore. When you leave why are you so rejected. No one wants to talk to you. WHY? You are wrong. I had to leave for awhile due to having cancer. It is now in remission, but no one in our meeting even knows I had cancer. You jumped too fast. Here is what I think.... when you were a 2x2 you say nice thing about them then for some reasons you LEFT and speak unkind thing by saying those in the fellowship belong to a CULT (not in a good way). Suddendly, you want to profess (went back to meetings) again.... saying I am sorry....
Be good for some years.... then out of the blue you LEFT the fellowship again. You publicly make an announcement to the whole world! I have been wrong for going BACK to this fellowship. Now I confess this fellowship is indeed a CULT (not in a good way) and the workers are NOT the servants of God.
Now, you wonder why? most of the friends and workers don't want to talk or care about you? you don't bite the hands that feed you. They will not fall for that again and again.
Why do you want to go back when you are NOT happy. The friends and workers know by now what you think of them when you called them a CULT (not in a good way) and false servants of God.
If you are truly repented and showing real remorse I believe there's hope but it will take awhile for the friends and workers to Trust you again.
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Post by Brick on Jul 30, 2007 12:16:33 GMT -5
I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. You are responding to the way you perceive other people feel about you. It is only natural. I don't blame you for having those feelings. When we perceive that we have been slighted, most of us feel some hurt or pain. Well, perhaps Mr. Lewis is the exception to that assertion. And withdrawal is a normal response to your feelings. So, to put it bluntly, you are reacting. You are responding to the input you receive. IF you want to fellowship in this way (that is an assumption) don't judge the people in it. We are not perfect. I am not perfect, and that is a certainty. What was Jesus' commandment? "Love one another as I have loved you." That wasn't "Love one another if mutual love and respect is shown." The love of Christ is not conditional. So love us. Jesus commanded you to. Even when we aren't kind to you. Love us and show us how to love. Don't give up on us even if you leave our meetings. We all aspire to have that perfect love, but some of us are better at it than others. We'll be praying that we can honestly manifest that divine love toward you. Thank you for your consideration.
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Post by Peacemaker on Jul 30, 2007 12:37:10 GMT -5
I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. You are responding to the way you perceive other people feel about you. It is only natural. I don't blame you for having those feelings. When we perceive that we have been slighted, most of us feel some hurt or pain. Well, perhaps Mr. Lewis is the exception to that assertion. And withdrawal is a normal response to your feelings. So, to put it bluntly, you are reacting. You are responding to the input you receive. IF you want to fellowship in this way (that is an assumption) don't judge the people in it. We are not perfect. I am not perfect, and that is a certainty. What was Jesus' commandment? "Love one another as I have loved you." That wasn't "Love one another if mutual love and respect is shown." The love of Christ is not conditional. So love us. Jesus commanded you to. Even when we aren't kind to you. Love us and show us how to love. Don't give up on us even if you leave our meetings. We all aspire to have that perfect love, but some of us are better at it than others. We'll be praying that we can honestly manifest that divine love toward you. Thank you for your consideration. Hi brother This is very thoughtful, very considerate and as solid as a brick.
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Post by jump the gun on Jul 30, 2007 14:23:36 GMT -5
1) hurting wrote: You are wrong. I had to leave for awhile due to having cancer. It is now in remission, but no one in our meeting even knows I had cancer. You jumped too fast. I thought nathan9's post had little to do with the initial post. Left Mtg and Why « Thread Started on Today at 9:53am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When we don't come to meeting for months no one cares to call you to ask what happend to you and when you finally show up no one bothers to ask why haven't you come to meeting. I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. I don't think I Should go back to meeting anymore. When you leave why are you so rejected. No one wants to talk to you. WHY? Nathan9 Royal Member member is offline Jesus said, "Before Abraham was I AM/Yahweh/LORD" (Jh 8:56) Joined: May 2006 Posts: 2,805 Location: Born in Viet Nam 1960 Re: Left Mtg and Why « Reply #1 on Today at 10:14am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here is what I think.... when you were a 2x2 you say nice thing about them then for some reasons you LEFT and speak unkind thing by saying those in the fellowship belong to a CULT (not in a good way). Suddendly, you want to profess (went back to meetings) again.... saying I am sorry.... Be good for some years.... then out of the blue you LEFT the fellowship again. You publicly make an announcement to the whole world! I have been wrong for going BACK to this fellowship. Now I confess this fellowship is indeed a CULT (not in a good way) and the workers are NOT the servants of God. Now, you wonder why? most of the friends and workers don't want to talk or care about you? you don't bite the hands that feed you. They will not fall for that again and again. Why do you want to go back when you are NOT happy. The friends and workers know by now what you think of them when you called them a CULT (not in a good way) and false servants of God. If you are truly repented and showing real remorse I believe there's hope but it will take awhile for the friends and workers to Trust you again.
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Post by 3 on Jul 30, 2007 15:00:42 GMT -5
I want to point out that after I stopped attending a local evangelical church after about 5 years of faithful & involved attendance, I wasn't contacted by the church.
There seems to be alot of emotion & allegiance involved in attending a church. Perhaps someone stopped attending b/c they found another church that suited their needs better. Some take this very personal & feel it is a direct criticism aimed at their church. I think that's one reason why I wasn't contacted after leaving the above mentioned church.
When I left the 2x2 church after 22 years, I had a note from 1 worker and a lovely letter from 1 of the local friends. Other than that - nothing. I was taken aback because attending the 2x2 church is the ONLY way to salvation (believed by the vast majority of the friends). So, out of love & care for my eternal soul, I was surprised that the friends didn't contact me for that reason.
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Post by CherieKropp on Jul 30, 2007 15:21:08 GMT -5
I hear this same story over and over and over. I experienced it myself. It never fails to shock/surprise the one leaving. I'm still not sure why it is...
And just a handful have written me that they were plagued to death by well meaning folks trying put guilt trips on them about leaving and trying to get them to come back.
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Post by love on Jul 30, 2007 15:37:32 GMT -5
I hear this same story over and over and over. I experienced it myself. It never fails to shock/surprise the one leaving. I'm still not sure why it is... That ones that leave have non-conditional love. The ones that stay have conditional love. That's a shocker. Besides, the view is "you lost out, you are are deceived, you never had it, you are rebellious, you are unwilling, you are misguided by the devil, you are misguided by outsiders and bitter exes." Take your pick. Now, if you thought that of another, would you reach out to them or fear that you, too, might "lose out"? And further, if you want back in, you know where to go. Still I wonder how much interaction is there in the fellowship. Other than meetings, what contact is there? A potluck now and then? Seems more contact for the younger people (teens and college).
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Post by So wrong on Jul 30, 2007 15:43:13 GMT -5
That's an excellent reason to leave the cult. And any reason is a good reason. You know Christ's disciples by the love they have for each other. Instead of going to meetings, read your Bible. Ask questions, search out answers. God bless you for being honest. Brad Brad, Given the definitions that you have proffered regarding cults, don't you think that this 'letting them walk behavior' speeks directly against what you have claimed? Don't you believe that a cult will try to keep people in by whatever means possible? But here they are calmly letting people come and go as they please. How does that fit your definition of a cult?
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Post by gloryintruth on Jul 30, 2007 17:57:11 GMT -5
When we don't come to meeting for months no one cares to call you to ask what happend to you and when you finally show up no one bothers to ask why haven't you come to meeting. I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. I don't think I Should go back to meeting anymore. When you leave why are you so rejected. No one wants to talk to you. WHY?
Dear friend,
Be of good cheer and consider Jesus, whose disciples and friends abandoned him for dead to the authorities, and fled the shepherd. Unfortunately, we are not perfect and neither are those we meet with - and it causes no end of trouble for our souls and our lives if we judge people on a failure to come up to what we all recognise we ought to be.
Sometimes it seems as though the friends are not friendly. At other times it can seem as though our brothers and sisters are neither brotherly or sisterly. However, this is part of our learning here upon the earth - for just as our natural brothers and sisters are not perfect, and can even be downright horrid - so it is for our spiritual brothers and sisters. We learn to truly love; to truly forgive; to truly care through the web of their weaknesses and deficiencies (and so it goes vice versa; we are all flawed).
When the Apostle Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, he addressed a very troubled group of people. There were divisions in the church, there was terrible sin in the church, there were those who even challenged the authority of the Apostle himself! They were so divided, they could not even share the Lord's Supper together without some becoming drunk from consuming all the wine, and others consuming all the bread. This was a church with major problems.
Yet how did the Apostle Paul open his letter? "I give thanks to God always for you".
It is not always easy to be thankful for the saints! I have proven this over and over in my experience. It is not easy to be thankful for those who stand apart during our time of need; for those who seem oblivious to our suffering, pain and loneliness; for those who lack compassion and sympathy. But through the failings of our brethren, we learn to stick closer to the Lord Jesus who is all-sufficient for our needs, and in so doing, to love the saints (and be thankful for them).
If you think your experience is an isolated one, you would be incorrect. I too have experienced such things, and so have others. Yet I am still professing, but professing in such a way that I hope to be more useful to the kingdom of God. Hence I stay in contact with those who have left our fellowship (with whom I have met with for many years), and I try to ever be ready with a quick answer of help and encouragement for those in distress.
Dear friend! You are beloved by the Lord God, called to be a saint from before the foundation of the world. And while the power of Satan - who commands the evil spirits - is strong, yet call upon the Father, Son and Holy Spirit to lift your gloom, and renew you in your mind to be steadfast in your profession. And be of good cheer, for just as Christ overcame the world and is the heart of our faith, so we know that we who walk in his train will surely overcome also.
This is an opportunity to push beyond the superficial social aspect of the Church (which sadly, some in the Church never grow out of), and to discover the source of true blessing; the reality of our faith.
Peace, grace and blessings to you in the Lord Jesus Christ, All glory be to the Father, Your friend.
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Post by janet on Jul 30, 2007 17:58:55 GMT -5
I once knew a young women who was beat by her husband. They were both good 2x2's. Not one lifted a finger to support nor help. Later there was a divorce and a remarriage. They were told not to take part for 6 months. What the heck was that for. I mean if they are in perpetual sin then what does six months do. Well it was explained that it was an outward expression of repentance. Yeah like it was not good enought for them to go to God. They had to ware the Big letter A so that everybody could make them feel like dirt. Just like the Pharisees. Forget God YOU PAY US FOR THE SINS
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Post by Stinky on Jul 30, 2007 18:15:59 GMT -5
When we don't come to meeting for months no one cares to call you to ask what happend to you and when you finally show up no one bothers to ask why haven't you come to meeting. I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. I don't think I Should go back to meeting anymore. When you leave why are you so rejected. No one wants to talk to you. WHY? Do you go there for the people or to worship and praise and glorify Jesus? You are still putting the monkey on the back of people when Jesus should be the one to carry the load for you. If you are the one needing help from others do you tell them you need help or do you expect them to read your mind? God will give you all that you need. Why ask others for what God would love to do for you? God knows you better than they do. God loves you better too. He gave you Jesus to heal, clean, teach, protect, correct and care about you. What person can do that? (perfectly?) Jesus hears your call. Be still and listen for his answer. Use your faith to quit worrying. Use your faith to trust God. Have Faith child !
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Post by hurting on Jul 30, 2007 19:13:37 GMT -5
1) hurting wrote: You are wrong. I had to leave for awhile due to having cancer. It is now in remission, but no one in our meeting even knows I had cancer. You jumped too fast. Never mind Nathan, you just made me feel worse. Our workers have a huge field and aren' t around much so no, they didn't know. Our elder has marriage problems, so he has his hands full with her and his five children. No one knew it until it was all over.
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Post by no name on Jul 30, 2007 20:09:15 GMT -5
Brad, Given the definitions that you have proffered regarding cults, don't you think that this 'letting them walk behavior' speeks directly against what you have claimed? Don't you believe that a cult will try to keep people in by whatever means possible? But here they are calmly letting people come and go as they please. How does that fit your definition of a cult? Excellent point - it bears repeating.
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Post by Mr Butinsky on Jul 30, 2007 20:33:00 GMT -5
Brad, Given the definitions that you have proffered regarding cults, don't you think that this 'letting them walk behavior' speeks directly against what you have claimed? Don't you believe that a cult will try to keep people in by whatever means possible? But here they are calmly letting people come and go as they please. How does that fit your definition of a cult? Excellent point - it bears repeating. As long as you can overcome the fear of losing out that they insist is what happens when people leave. They condition the 2x2 flock from birth that its us or hell, take your choice. What a lovely Gospel the workers bring! Rejoice in us Do our bidding Or burn in hell Its your choice! Jesus will save those that are his and the other 2x2 and the workers will get the fate they inslave others with. Its in the Bible !
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Post by freespirit on Jul 30, 2007 20:33:26 GMT -5
Dear hurting (((((((((((((((hurting)))))))))))) I am so sorry for your pain. I wish there were some words I could write that would help. I find that I am often disappointed with people when I want or expect them to be different or better than they really are. I have (for one reason or another) left or been absent from groups for a time--some work, some social groups, some other--and often (very often, actually) very few if any people call to check on you. This is true across any number of settings. Many times it's not that they are unfeeling but simply unthinking. You may have crossed their mind and thoughts and prayers many times, but it never occurred to them to pick up the phone. Or maybe they aren't sure what to say. I have since learned that the phone works two ways. When I'm hurting, I need to reach out and call people rather than hide. It's hard. I know it is. I tend to hermit myself away and self-protect, but it's not always healthy for me to do that. There is also one other issue... and this is a rather annoying one to me. There were many years when no one bothered to give us a list with phone numbers. I'm not really sure why. But that may have happened in your area too. People disappoint us, they really do. Don't put stock in people. There is one friend who never leaves us--and that is Jesus. Please pray and pour your heart out to God. He's a big God. He can take it. All our anger, frustration, pain--all of it. He knows when we've been hurt and used and kicked by people we love. He can help. He can send the right people into your life to help heal you and bring balm for your hurts. I'm really sorry that happened. peace, freespirit
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Post by More stories on Jul 30, 2007 20:45:19 GMT -5
I once knew a young women who was beat by her husband. They were both good 2x2's. Not one lifted a finger to support nor help. Later there was a divorce and a remarriage. They were told not to take part for 6 months. What the heck was that for. I mean if they are in perpetual sin then what does six months do. Well it was explained that it was an outward expression of repentance. Yeah like it was not good enought for them to go to God. They had to ware the Big letter A so that everybody could make them feel like dirt. Just like the Pharisees. Forget God YOU PAY US FOR THE SINS I once knew a young man who was beat by his wife. Neither were 2x2ss. Not one lifted a finger to support nor help. He ended up leaving and went back to school to complete the 5th grade so he could learn the difference between ware and wear but having to sit at the little desk made him dirt but the teacher said the desk was big enought and he would have to stay put. There had been a couple of workers in the state having meetings and it is believed that their teaching had polluted the moral values of the entire state and little could be done. Damn those 2x2s. Does anyone else have any completely unfounded stories they would like to relate to place blame?
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Post by HelenGreene on Jul 31, 2007 8:03:55 GMT -5
1) hurting wrote: You are wrong. I had to leave for awhile due to having cancer. It is now in remission, but no one in our meeting even knows I had cancer. You jumped too fast. I thought nathan9's post had little to do with the initial post. Left Mtg and Why « Thread Started on Today at 9:53am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When we don't come to meeting for months no one cares to call you to ask what happend to you and when you finally show up no one bothers to ask why haven't you come to meeting. I feel empty and left out. I stopped coming because I felt unwanted I felt no one cared whether I lived or died. I don't think I Should go back to meeting anymore. When you leave why are you so rejected. No one wants to talk to you. WHY? Nathan9 Royal Member member is offline Jesus said, "Before Abraham was I AM/Yahweh/LORD" (Jh 8:56) Joined: May 2006 Posts: 2,805 Location: Born in Viet Nam 1960 Re: Left Mtg and Why « Reply #1 on Today at 10:14am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here is what I think.... when you were a 2x2 you say nice thing about them then for some reasons you LEFT and speak unkind thing by saying those in the fellowship belong to a CULT (not in a good way). Suddendly, you want to profess (went back to meetings) again.... saying I am sorry.... Be good for some years.... then out of the blue you LEFT the fellowship again. You publicly make an announcement to the whole world! I have been wrong for going BACK to this fellowship. Now I confess this fellowship is indeed a CULT (not in a good way) and the workers are NOT the servants of God. Now, you wonder why? most of the friends and workers don't want to talk or care about you? you don't bite the hands that feed you. They will not fall for that again and again. Why do you want to go back when you are NOT happy. The friends and workers know by now what you think of them when you called them a CULT (not in a good way) and false servants of God. If you are truly repented and showing real remorse I believe there's hope but it will take awhile for the friends and workers to Trust you again. Isn't Nathan's answer typical of 2x2's. He is right, the worker's don't fogive. Not a child-like spirit. God forgives how many times??? Has He forgiven you today Nathan? How many times today will He have to forgive you? So, the workers come to the place they stop forgiving. You are so correct in that. Thanks for reminding me.
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