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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2016 17:09:35 GMT -5
Umfolozi, like ellie I love what you want to do - please let us know how you get on Thanks for the encouragement! |
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Post by ellie on Feb 2, 2016 0:09:39 GMT -5
Umfolozi I love your enthusiasm  but I don’t think that everyone in the fellowship will be as enthusiastic about this as you. Sending a letter like this might change your experience in meetings. The time might come when you would not want to be a part of the fellowship any more. So apologies for my tactlessness, but in case, have you planned the path you and your family might take if you were to leave the fellowship? All the best with the letter I said much the same on "The 'Do Nothing' approach of some 2x2 members". I don't want to discourage her in any way but forewarned is forearmed. I hope umfolozi has a very strong personality and can cope with whatever gets thrown at her. I also hope she gets strong support from the friends around her. Thanks, I see your post Kittens! Umfolozi, I am glad to hear that you haven’t experienced many unreasonable workers. I do hope your OS proves open to reason also! IMO the fellowship benefits a lot from people who are not afraid to approach workers. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2016 7:15:29 GMT -5
I said much the same on "The 'Do Nothing' approach of some 2x2 members". I don't want to discourage her in any way but forewarned is forearmed. I hope umfolozi has a very strong personality and can cope with whatever gets thrown at her. I also hope she gets strong support from the friends around her. Thanks, I see your post Kittens! Umfolozi , I am glad to hear that you haven’t experienced many unreasonable workers. I do hope your OS proves open to reason also! IMO the fellowship benefits a lot from people who are not afraid to approach workers. Thanks ellie! |
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Post by withlove on Feb 3, 2016 2:47:50 GMT -5
It's exciting that you are fearless and eager to spark change...the more people like you who talk openly about the issue, the more likely that overseers will take a noticeable stance, either dismissing your concerns, downplaying them, or addressing the issue with transparency and honesty.
Any of those options can be helpful for people to get an understanding of what church leadership is thinking. I pray for discernment and safety for all, and for you to stay encouraged and courageous, whatever the outcome!
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Post by learning on Feb 10, 2016 8:44:21 GMT -5
I am going to send a e mail to the overseer of our state asking that guidelines be put in place to protect children from CSA and to also have parents involved in setting it up.I am asking any others that feel strongly about this also to write a e mail or send a letter to your overseer in this regard.I know some will say that I should read so many others efforts of trying the same to no avail. The more pressure we put on them the more they will have to acknowledge us and change,that is how I feel. I love your enthusiasm but I don’t think that everyone in the fellowship will be as enthusiastic about this as you. Sending a letter like this might change your experience in meetings. The time might come when you would not want to be a part of the fellowship any more. So apologies for my tactlessness, but in case, have you planned the path you and your family might take if you were to leave the fellowship? All the best with the letter In Acts 15:22 there was an issue to be dealt with. "Then the apostles and elders, WITH THE WHOLE CHURCH, decided to choose some of their own men and send them to Antioch...". In this early church example of how to deal with a problem the believers themselves were involved in developing a solution and decision associated with the problem. Why then should believers in this fellowship be inhibited from "rising up" to participate in a resolution to this CSA issue? |
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Post by faune on Feb 10, 2016 12:40:47 GMT -5
No not just at parents,absolutely workers to. Children are exposed to male workers in a variety of settings and has been involved in CSA.When male workers come to sleep over at our house I sleep in my children's bedroom. Understandable. I was suggesting that abuse at the hands of the workers is a less frequent than abuse at the hands of family. Put your efforts where it will do the most good.I believe that children need to be educated from a very early age (perhaps starting at 2 or 3) regarding the issues of sexual abuse. If your children are teens and they have not been taught what is and what is not acceptable and do not know that yelling is appropriate and that they have the right to say "No!" to the unwanted advances of any adult then they are in danger. The danger will not always be in their room(s). It sounds you need to teach your children that they can say "No!" as loudly as they need to when they are uncomfortable with the advances of anyone.
This is what I meant by teaching the parents. If children are taught what is and what is not acceptable behavior and they are given permission to reject any behavior with which they are not comfortable you have reduced the need to try to control the behavior of the workers. People who molest children are very good at what they do and very good at reducing fears in the guardian(s) of the child. I have worked with them and they cannot be picked out of a crowd.
Certainly addressing the issue with the workers is needed but trying to control the behavior of others in this issue does not have a high success rate. I agree with your assessment and advice given above. Children need to be trained from an early age what is acceptable and non-acceptable behavior regardless who they may be in contact with over time. Often the child abuser is somebody they know and trust, which makes it even harder to deal with, too. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2016 15:15:20 GMT -5
Umfolozi, like ellie I love what you want to do - please let us know how you get on Thanks, sending of the letter is in the process. Suggestions to protect children in the fellowship: - Sleep with your little one's in their room when the male workers come to sleep over ( even if you teach your children about saying no and screaming and no touch zones,these immoral/hypocrites can intimidate children and scare them as we have heard from those that have had to go through this horrendous crimes) - Plainly say that male workers can't sleep over at your house. - NEVER let little children run around at convention/special meetings on their own. I saw this happening at a Colorado convention! The little girl was probably not older than 3 and she was as free as can be, running loose on her own. I almost felt like saying something to the mother I knew who she was. SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO COMMONSENSE!!!!!! That should have been a requirement for ALL parents. |
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but I don’t think that everyone in the fellowship will be as enthusiastic about this as you. Sending a letter like this might change your experience in meetings. The time might come when you would not want to be a part of the fellowship any more. So apologies for my tactlessness, but in case, have you planned the path you and your family might take if you were to leave the fellowship? All the best with the letter 
