Post by Alan Vandermyden on Jan 28, 2011 14:16:43 GMT -5
In the 12 years I was in the work I had nothing but older companions. I appreciated them so much and what they taught me that is still a part of my life today.
I wonder if it might prove interesting for Linford and/or others of us to relate some of the specific things that companions - whether older or younger - taught us or helped us with.
I'll start . . .
Though I've often said I've learned things from each companion, some of these likely belong in a rather "general" category - as in more practice in adapting to and appreciating different ways of working. But there are a few companions and "lessons" that specifically stand out to me, which I'll try to relate here . . .
First, I'll mention Harold Hilton, and a Proverb he talked about our first year together, mostly in private conversations between the two of us, I believe. This is Proverbs 18:17 - He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him (KJV). I tried to take this to heart that year, and it continues to remain important to me, relating to my insistence that there are so many individual experiences, taking place in different times and locations. It's so easy to jump to conclusions, as well as to just "lump" people together when they say something that sounds similar to someone else's position.
We talk about "both sides" of the story, and that's definitely a good starting point, but there are really as many "sides" as there are individuals. Anyway, I do appreciate Harold pointing this verse out to me and beginning to teach me to look beyond what is immediately apparent, beyond the first "side" I hear.
I was with Harold here in Hawai`i when he pointed out this proverb; it was five years later, in N. Nevada, when he taught me something else of a very practical nature, and this wasn't immediately connected with a proverb or any scripture.
I had been in an auto accident in August, 1987 (the one in which 2 brother workers were killed), and recuperated that fall at my parents' home in Carson City, Nevada. I was able to get around on crutches by the holiday season, so Harold's younger companion was moved over to California somewhere, and I was able to move about with Harold - though he did have to kind of "steady" me as I worked my way up some snowy sidewalks on crutches!
Well, there were a lot of financial and legal matters pertaining to that accident that had to be "handled," which included me getting notice after notice from collection agencies that my credit would be shot, legal action would be taken, etc., if I didn't pay the hospitals and doctors soon. I didn't pay right away because we (the 2 families and I) actually sued the man who had hit us. This was settled out of court, with me receiving compensation for the amount of my medical bills, and the other 2 families receiving somewhat more - I was offered more too, but I refused anything above the amount of my bills, not wanting any to be able to accuse me of of profiting from the accident that had resulted in 2 deaths.
The lesson from Harold? I was really stressing in all of this, finding the legal collection agency notices and all far more traumatic than my actual hospital time, injuries, etc. I commented to Harold at one point - while riding in the car - that I "just wanted it to all be past." He quickly replied that I was not thinking realistically at all. This kind of stunned me, but it was good for me!
Another island companion, Larry Taylor, taught me to consider where others are coming from in a different way. We were first on Pohnpei together, and he was always hesitant to criticize island people, realizing that they came from a different cultural background, and saw things from a different viewpoint. And this was more than just a condescending tolerance of their culture. He had grown to respect their knowledge and practices, and I gained that from him too. And here I am now earning an MA in Pacific Islands Studies . . .
I learned about respecting one another's strengths from Larry too, in a rather amusing way. I have always enjoyed language, and began to study Pohnpeian. Larry had been there some years before, then returned to work with me for my 2nd year there. He remembered some of the language. My forte has always been grammar, and I can learn to speak a language more easily than I can understand it - and yes, I know that's backwards! I've met one other person - a sister worker - who also learned languages backwards . . .
But anyway, I particularly remember one occasion, in which we went to visit a family Larry had known. They would speak, and Larry, who is very good at reading people's actions, expressions, etc, was able to understand what they were saying. He remembered enough vocabulary to give me the main noun and verb he wanted to use in responding, and then I was able to take those, plug in the various endings, pronouns, directionals, etc. and then to understandably pronounce the sentence. We called it teamwork!
A third island companion, Eldon, also taught me a lot about teamwork - or maybe it would be more accurate to say we learned about it together. Eldon and I spent a couple of years on Majuro Atoll, in the Marshall Islands, and it became a very lonely, discouraging time. Though we got along well, our personalities weren't the kind that "clicked" with one another into immediate friendships either. But I do think we formed a very enduring friendship, largely because of the rather discouraging time there.
But the "teamwork" aspect came as we attempted to make "long-range" plans for our work there - things like whether we would take the "field trip" ship on its tour of several islands, meeting new people here and there, or whether we would just fly out to Likiep Atoll and spend more time with the ones we knew. This isn't really a doctrinal discussion, or even one on "best missionary practices," as much as one considering both time and money.
What I began to realize was that Eldon excelled at collecting and considering all the various input he could find. And that was great - except that he often found it difficult to make a decision, ever wanting to wait for more input. I am much more impulsive, but this also proved useful when it came to times when a decision had to be made - as in, "We've got three more months here before we return to California for conventions; the older brothers are going to be asking us whether we think it's worthwhile to continue working here, and we have to make a decision now on what we're going to do in three months. They've heard us say for years that there's someone new we want to work with; I think we had better focus on certain ones we're having studies with right now." We did that, and decided to continue working out there . . . my point is that we both played a contributing role - whether it was gathering and considering information, or taking the information available and making a decision when necessary. We both came to realize this and worked together that way.
As I've been typing this, I've realized that these are all very practical, pragmatic lessons - I probably focus on them because I'm an idealist, and needed the pragmatic lessons!