"It is appropriate to serve Mormon missionaries brownies souped up with reefer."There are many benefits associated with serving brownies which have been loaded up with a goodly dose of the cannabis plant.
First off, most of the Mormon missionaries which one encounters going door to door are young people who have been sent out from their home church area to evangelize in another area.
These young men and women must learn interpersonal relationship skills which will serve them well while spreading the message of their church.
It has been found that one of the most effective ways to get these young people to open up is through the use of carefully administered what is commonly referred to as the "Evangelistic Brownie".
After the knock on the door, and the polite exchange of 'Howdy's' and reading the names they have pinned to their shirts, they need to be invited in and made comfortable in the home setting. Since they are usually far from home and family, they are especially interested in any home cooked brownies which may appear set before them while talking. (It is good to also have some lemonade to help wash down and mask any strange lingering taste)
A normal conversation will start with them speaking of their reason for going out into the 'world' to spread the message, followed by some vague information of what the church doctrine is all about. A healthy chunk of brownie during this conversation is needed for getting them to be more open about church doctrine. Be sure to follow this brownie up with another one, (and refill their lemonade glass)
USUALLY, it will only take about 10 minutes of this 'small talk' before you see a change in their mannerism's. (An indication of this will be when they open up a bit and start talking of a totally unrelated topic. For example they may suddenly show an incredible fascination with the design or the texture of material on the chair they are sitting on, or the throw rug by the door)
It is at this point that one can have an immense impact on these young impressionable missionaries, and the conversation can be steered in the direction of sharing your views on several subjects.
For example you could make the statement:
I understand that Joseph Smith began to gather his converts in Utah in the mid 1800's is that true?
When they answer yes, then throw in a question about that time period which they may never have thought about before, and it will stimulate them to 'think outside the Mormon underwear'.
It has been found that something along the lines of:
Is it true that you could tell a fellow Mormon in those days by the fact that the men all had a pointy beard and flat crowned hats, and only rode donkeys on Sundays?
From there it is easy to steer the conversation to the concept of being 'set apart from the world' by how one dresses. This is where it can get interesting....
(for amusement sake only, at this point do NOT refill their lemonade, and replace the brownies with some normal saltine crackers and some peanut butter...)
After discussing how dressing different will set them apart from the world, introduce the idea of how it would be even better if they were to continue their evangelizing in your neighborhood by dressing in a manner appropriate with being easily recognized by others as 'being different'. Offer them some clothing items to wear, and suggest wearing a bonnet or a beanie (actually any strange and different item works.) Tell them how you will 'call your neighbors to let them all know that they would be coming to their doors' which will let them see that you are trying to help them in their ministry.
Also point out that if they were to really get the interest of people they meet, they should joyfully shout out a catchy song whenever they encounter someone on the street. Encourage and help them to come up with a song, and lead them in singing it with fervor.
(For further amusement, now that they have wolfed down all the saltine crackers, offer them something to drink, such as a glass of buttermilk or a can of tomato soup.)
A good song would be along the lines of the following, roughly sang to the hit tune from Glen Campbell "I am a Lineman For the County.
"
We are the Mormons from the country,
and we walk down your road.
Searching in the sun for another lost soul.
You'll hear us singing on your front steps,
you'll hear us sing a funny song,
Because we're Mormons from the country,
and we're still going strong. Once they have got the song down, be sure to give them a 'Evangelistic Brownie' to go, and send them on their merry way with their 'new look' and a song to match.
Oh yeah......
Be sure to call your neighbors....... And just as they are leaving your property yell out to them about the rabid dog that was seen roaming the area....
Scott
Over to the con man Gene
was I supposed to put FINAL EDIT here?