Post by ecarg on Oct 12, 2007 10:29:07 GMT -5
SHARING MY EXPERIENCES! I appreciate ALL the thoughts, ideas and opinions on this thread. I'd like to share my knowledge and experience on these issues.
1. I was sexually abused in "the truth" by workers and older professing boys. I know first hand the pain, sorrow, confusion, anger, shame, woundedness journey of such sickness. My FIRST outpouring of prayer, concern and love is to ANY other person ( male or female ) on this message board who has suffered such evil. I'M SORRY!!!!!!! You deserved BETTER!
2. Accountability! This seems to be such a topic of discussion. WE ARE ALL ACCOUNTABLE in some form or another. You can't get out of it. Seems that out of fear or because of such pride and egos, no one wants to be accountable. I believe that if we have been instrusted a "life" here on earth.....................we are accountable. I can see, that in a religion based on methodology, and that teaches the WRATH of God VS the LOVE AND MERCY of God, it would be VERY HARD to accept responsibility. You just might go "straight to hell" for your sins. Who wants to "fess up" under such pressure. Part of growing ourselves up and becoming adults means that we are ALL accountable for the "little ones". And I'm not just talking children. Those who "CAN" are called to reach out to those that "CAN NOT". Those that "HAVE" are called to reach out to those who "HAVE NOT" It's called the Body Of Christ!!!!!! We should ALL get madder than hell when someone "less fortunate or weak" is taken advantage of.........PERIOD. Whether it is our "personal" children or not. Our children come THROUGH us, not TO US. They are gifts from God that we have been INTRUSTED to care for. Talk about Accountability!!!!! And people of the truth.............you may not have been the one to abuse a child, but your Church Family Members HAVE ABUSED children. I'm sorry. You are part of a "family" of believers who have sinned. If you believe you are ONE BODY or A FAMILY, YOU TOO are accountable by virtue of what you believe.
3. BACKGROUND CHECKS. Here is my experience with background checks. I work in a Catholic Church. CHILL!!!!!! LOL It's amazing how the "Church" I was taught to hate has helped me in my relationship with Jesus more than any other Church I attended. I have appreciated the way the Church has stepped up and taken responsibility for what has happened with some of the Priests. I've SEEN first hand, what a "Sexual Abuse Scandal" can do to a Faith Community. I've personally experienced it. ( sexual abuse by workers ) I've been on the inner workings of training people to "watch" for pedophiles, I've been on the administrative side of trying to set up safe environments, etc etc etc........MY THOUGHTS! Just as with ANY other sickness or illness or evil in the world, we are only human, and we do the best we can to prevent all that we can. Period. Background checks are a good idea. They will not catch a pedophile who has NEVER been caught before, but they do help with "red flags". Behaviors that are questionable. It's a step. Not a perfect one, but a step. TRAINING AND EDUCATION is KEY! We have classes that teach the children what to look out for. What's OK behavior and what is NOT. For example....................TRUST YOUR GUT!!!!!! Don't let other people THINK for you! People who feel creepy ARE CREEPY for a reason. Hello!!!! Even if it is Uncle Joe or Dad or a Priest or a Worker or your coach or your teacher. Teach children to LISTEN to their feelings. God gave them to us for a very good reason. Teach children that sometimes REASONING in the Head IS WRONG! Sometimes things that don't make logical sense, ARE RIGHT! I teach my children to QUESTION authority. If authority is on the "up and up" then there is no fear when someone questions it. Expand on the commandments. "Obey your parents" EXCEPT WHEN YOUR PARENTS ASK YOU TO SIN!!!! "Love God with all your heart" PEOPLE ARE NOT GOD even if they represent God. Good old common sense!!!!
4. PRACTICAL IDEAS. If you work with children or any person that is childlike ( mentally handicapped for example ) Always have another adult with you. It's safer for YOU and the person you are working with. When 2x2 becomes 1on1..........HELLO! Adults who only have kids as friends..............hello! Read flag! Adults WORK with children but they should not be peers. We all know these people. ( can't function in the adult world )
5. GET EDUCATED! We can "chat" on these boards all day long, but the best way we canuse our energy is to get educated. There is a process called GROOMING, that pedophies do to their victims. Sometimes it goes on for YEARS before the pedophile will actually hurt someone. Study this stuff people. Please!
6. PEOPLE IN THE TRUTH. Please, step outside of "the box" and look to other organizations who have delt with this issue. If "religious" institutions are to hard for you to reach out to, look at the scouts or the educational institutions. There are VERY GOOD programs in place to work through the scandal that has his your religion. It's a fact of life. I am hoping and praying for all of you. Please don't hide your face in shame. Step into this mess. Clean it up. It's a great opportunity to see what you are made of. To use those gifts of the Holy Spirit. to use the Fruits of the Holy Spirit. I don't agree with your theology, but I can meet you in this mess of humanity and reach out to you as a Sister in Christ. What a glorious opportunity you have upon you. Use this time to get closer to Christ. He meets us at the Cross. The "truth" now has a MAJOR cross to bear. Pick it up!!!! Carry it!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!
1. I was sexually abused in "the truth" by workers and older professing boys. I know first hand the pain, sorrow, confusion, anger, shame, woundedness journey of such sickness. My FIRST outpouring of prayer, concern and love is to ANY other person ( male or female ) on this message board who has suffered such evil. I'M SORRY!!!!!!! You deserved BETTER!
2. Accountability! This seems to be such a topic of discussion. WE ARE ALL ACCOUNTABLE in some form or another. You can't get out of it. Seems that out of fear or because of such pride and egos, no one wants to be accountable. I believe that if we have been instrusted a "life" here on earth.....................we are accountable. I can see, that in a religion based on methodology, and that teaches the WRATH of God VS the LOVE AND MERCY of God, it would be VERY HARD to accept responsibility. You just might go "straight to hell" for your sins. Who wants to "fess up" under such pressure. Part of growing ourselves up and becoming adults means that we are ALL accountable for the "little ones". And I'm not just talking children. Those who "CAN" are called to reach out to those that "CAN NOT". Those that "HAVE" are called to reach out to those who "HAVE NOT" It's called the Body Of Christ!!!!!! We should ALL get madder than hell when someone "less fortunate or weak" is taken advantage of.........PERIOD. Whether it is our "personal" children or not. Our children come THROUGH us, not TO US. They are gifts from God that we have been INTRUSTED to care for. Talk about Accountability!!!!! And people of the truth.............you may not have been the one to abuse a child, but your Church Family Members HAVE ABUSED children. I'm sorry. You are part of a "family" of believers who have sinned. If you believe you are ONE BODY or A FAMILY, YOU TOO are accountable by virtue of what you believe.
3. BACKGROUND CHECKS. Here is my experience with background checks. I work in a Catholic Church. CHILL!!!!!! LOL It's amazing how the "Church" I was taught to hate has helped me in my relationship with Jesus more than any other Church I attended. I have appreciated the way the Church has stepped up and taken responsibility for what has happened with some of the Priests. I've SEEN first hand, what a "Sexual Abuse Scandal" can do to a Faith Community. I've personally experienced it. ( sexual abuse by workers ) I've been on the inner workings of training people to "watch" for pedophiles, I've been on the administrative side of trying to set up safe environments, etc etc etc........MY THOUGHTS! Just as with ANY other sickness or illness or evil in the world, we are only human, and we do the best we can to prevent all that we can. Period. Background checks are a good idea. They will not catch a pedophile who has NEVER been caught before, but they do help with "red flags". Behaviors that are questionable. It's a step. Not a perfect one, but a step. TRAINING AND EDUCATION is KEY! We have classes that teach the children what to look out for. What's OK behavior and what is NOT. For example....................TRUST YOUR GUT!!!!!! Don't let other people THINK for you! People who feel creepy ARE CREEPY for a reason. Hello!!!! Even if it is Uncle Joe or Dad or a Priest or a Worker or your coach or your teacher. Teach children to LISTEN to their feelings. God gave them to us for a very good reason. Teach children that sometimes REASONING in the Head IS WRONG! Sometimes things that don't make logical sense, ARE RIGHT! I teach my children to QUESTION authority. If authority is on the "up and up" then there is no fear when someone questions it. Expand on the commandments. "Obey your parents" EXCEPT WHEN YOUR PARENTS ASK YOU TO SIN!!!! "Love God with all your heart" PEOPLE ARE NOT GOD even if they represent God. Good old common sense!!!!
4. PRACTICAL IDEAS. If you work with children or any person that is childlike ( mentally handicapped for example ) Always have another adult with you. It's safer for YOU and the person you are working with. When 2x2 becomes 1on1..........HELLO! Adults who only have kids as friends..............hello! Read flag! Adults WORK with children but they should not be peers. We all know these people. ( can't function in the adult world )
5. GET EDUCATED! We can "chat" on these boards all day long, but the best way we canuse our energy is to get educated. There is a process called GROOMING, that pedophies do to their victims. Sometimes it goes on for YEARS before the pedophile will actually hurt someone. Study this stuff people. Please!
6. PEOPLE IN THE TRUTH. Please, step outside of "the box" and look to other organizations who have delt with this issue. If "religious" institutions are to hard for you to reach out to, look at the scouts or the educational institutions. There are VERY GOOD programs in place to work through the scandal that has his your religion. It's a fact of life. I am hoping and praying for all of you. Please don't hide your face in shame. Step into this mess. Clean it up. It's a great opportunity to see what you are made of. To use those gifts of the Holy Spirit. to use the Fruits of the Holy Spirit. I don't agree with your theology, but I can meet you in this mess of humanity and reach out to you as a Sister in Christ. What a glorious opportunity you have upon you. Use this time to get closer to Christ. He meets us at the Cross. The "truth" now has a MAJOR cross to bear. Pick it up!!!! Carry it!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!