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Post by Persona non grata on Jul 28, 2023 3:25:25 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
We are sorry for any inconvenience or disappointment this will be to some of you, but we are writing to let you know there will not be conventions as usual this year in North Carolina. The conventions will instead be 3 days and held at rented facilities consisting of daytime meetings only:
Gastonia, September 8, 9, 10 Gastonia Conference Center, 145 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Gastonia, NC Greensboro, September 22, 23, 24 Meridian Convention Center, 312 W Meadowview Rd, Greensboro, NC
Those who normally attend in Denton could attend in Greensboro, and those who normally attend in Shelby could attend in Gastonia, but this is also flexible, and you are welcome to attend both. Please note the dates, as Gastonia is now the earlier convention and Greensboro is the later convention. There should be plenty of room for any who wish to attend.
There are no overnight accommodations at these convention centers. Some may choose to commute from home. Others may wish to make other overnight plans. Furthermore, arrangements are being looked at for lunch time meals during each of the days. More information on this will be provided soon.
We apologize for the inconvenience these changes may cause to those who already made overnight reservations for 2023. Financial assistance for losses due to cancellations and for securing overnight accommodation is also available. For these inquiries and any other questions, please send an email to nc-conventions@googlegroups.com. Our friends who have offered to help host these events will respond to you in a timely manner. There will be additional information regarding these events sent out in coming days. We have heard your concerns, and we feel this change is in the best interest for this year.
Our convention season will soon arrive, and for some we are looking forward to being together again and for the help that may come.
There are others who are more reluctant, and understandably so. Each has a right to make their own decision, and we do not want to place judgment on this very personal decision.
The NC/VA/MD/DE Workers
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Post by Dan on Jul 28, 2023 5:42:26 GMT -5
That's odd? I guess they aren't too comfortable with people staying and sleeping on convention grounds in this current atmosphere of hyper-vigilance. Renting a couple convention halls and offering to reimburse those who made previous reservations has got to be inflicting a financial hit.. Maybe the days of farm conventions are over? I guess people attending will boost the local economy by renting motels and spiking restaurant receipts. No more stew, bring a sack lunch
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Post by Umfolozi on Jul 28, 2023 7:00:10 GMT -5
They should just have cancelled convention's completely and gave the money to help the victim's of these atrocities. Does anyone have further info?
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Post by snow on Jul 28, 2023 14:36:38 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
We are sorry for any inconvenience or disappointment this will be to some of you, but we are writing to let you know there will not be conventions as usual this year in North Carolina. The conventions will instead be 3 days and held at rented facilities consisting of daytime meetings only:
Gastonia, September 8, 9, 10 Gastonia Conference Center, 145 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Gastonia, NC Greensboro, September 22, 23, 24 Meridian Convention Center, 312 W Meadowview Rd, Greensboro, NC
Those who normally attend in Denton could attend in Greensboro, and those who normally attend in Shelby could attend in Gastonia, but this is also flexible, and you are welcome to attend both. Please note the dates, as Gastonia is now the earlier convention and Greensboro is the later convention. There should be plenty of room for any who wish to attend.
There are no overnight accommodations at these convention centers. Some may choose to commute from home. Others may wish to make other overnight plans. Furthermore, arrangements are being looked at for lunch time meals during each of the days. More information on this will be provided soon.
We apologize for the inconvenience these changes may cause to those who already made overnight reservations for 2023. Financial assistance for losses due to cancellations and for securing overnight accommodation is also available. For these inquiries and any other questions, please send an email to nc-conventions@googlegroups.com. Our friends who have offered to help host these events will respond to you in a timely manner. There will be additional information regarding these events sent out in coming days. We have heard your concerns, and we feel this change is in the best interest for this year.
Our convention season will soon arrive, and for some we are looking forward to being together again and for the help that may come.
There are others who are more reluctant, and understandably so. Each has a right to make their own decision, and we do not want to place judgment on this very personal decision.
The NC/VA/MD/DE Workers I am glad to see that something is being done to limit the possibility of abuser access to children in a 'sleep over' situation. But I am also sad that this needs to be done in the first place. Conventions have been such a looked forward to event for many of the friends. Many literally take their vacation time to coincide with them. It used to be a place where there were groups of people sitting around on benches visiting well into the evening and enjoying a hot chocolate or the like. Dining together in a tent. I enjoyed waiting on the tables. Starting when I was younger with just a jug of water and later hot liquids and foods. I loved hanging out with the older girls in the sleeping dorms. They used to do the younger girls hair for meetings and it was fun. Running around between meetings with your friends and playing are a good remembrance. These abusers have ruined it for so many.
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Post by Umfolozi on Jul 28, 2023 19:11:21 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
We are sorry for any inconvenience or disappointment this will be to some of you, but we are writing to let you know there will not be conventions as usual this year in North Carolina. The conventions will instead be 3 days and held at rented facilities consisting of daytime meetings only:
Gastonia, September 8, 9, 10 Gastonia Conference Center, 145 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Gastonia, NC Greensboro, September 22, 23, 24 Meridian Convention Center, 312 W Meadowview Rd, Greensboro, NC
Those who normally attend in Denton could attend in Greensboro, and those who normally attend in Shelby could attend in Gastonia, but this is also flexible, and you are welcome to attend both. Please note the dates, as Gastonia is now the earlier convention and Greensboro is the later convention. There should be plenty of room for any who wish to attend.
There are no overnight accommodations at these convention centers. Some may choose to commute from home. Others may wish to make other overnight plans. Furthermore, arrangements are being looked at for lunch time meals during each of the days. More information on this will be provided soon.
We apologize for the inconvenience these changes may cause to those who already made overnight reservations for 2023. Financial assistance for losses due to cancellations and for securing overnight accommodation is also available. For these inquiries and any other questions, please send an email to nc-conventions@googlegroups.com. Our friends who have offered to help host these events will respond to you in a timely manner. There will be additional information regarding these events sent out in coming days. We have heard your concerns, and we feel this change is in the best interest for this year.
Our convention season will soon arrive, and for some we are looking forward to being together again and for the help that may come.
There are others who are more reluctant, and understandably so. Each has a right to make their own decision, and we do not want to place judgment on this very personal decision.
The NC/VA/MD/DE Workers I am glad to see that something is being done to limit the possibility of abuser access to children in a 'sleep over' situation. But I am also sad that this needs to be done in the first place. Conventions have been such a looked forward to event for many of the friends. Many literally take their vacation time to coincide with them. It used to be a place where there were groups of people sitting around on benches visiting well into the evening and enjoying a hot chocolate or the like. Dining together in a tent. I enjoyed waiting on the tables. Starting when I was younger with just a jug of water and later hot liquids and foods. I loved hanging out with the older girls in the sleeping dorms. They used to do the younger girls hair for meetings and it was fun. Running around between meetings with your friends and playing are a good remembrance. These abusers have ruined it for so many. Yes convention was a pleasant time for me aswell, there was not even the faintest thought that anything sinister can happen there.What a shame!
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Post by BobWilliston on Jul 28, 2023 19:29:03 GMT -5
I am glad to see that something is being done to limit the possibility of abuser access to children in a 'sleep over' situation. But I am also sad that this needs to be done in the first place. Conventions have been such a looked forward to event for many of the friends. Many literally take their vacation time to coincide with them. It used to be a place where there were groups of people sitting around on benches visiting well into the evening and enjoying a hot chocolate or the like. Dining together in a tent. I enjoyed waiting on the tables. Starting when I was younger with just a jug of water and later hot liquids and foods. I loved hanging out with the older girls in the sleeping dorms. They used to do the younger girls hair for meetings and it was fun. Running around between meetings with your friends and playing are a good remembrance. These abusers have ruined it for so many. Yes convention was a pleasant time for me as well, there was not even the faintest thought that anything sinister can happen there.What a shame! When I was growing up we lived 5 miles from the convention grounds, so we never slept there. During my early teens I went to 4 conventions in another province. Once I had an encounter with a predator, another time I had to deal with misbehaving boys when the lights went out. The third place I was picked up in my sleeping bag in the morning and dropped off across the lane from the sleeping shed. Once I met a pretty girl and smiled at her through every meeting.
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Post by snow on Jul 29, 2023 12:13:18 GMT -5
Yes convention was a pleasant time for me as well, there was not even the faintest thought that anything sinister can happen there.What a shame! When I was growing up we lived 5 miles from the convention grounds, so we never slept there. During my early teens I went to 4 conventions in another province. Once I had an encounter with a predator, another time I had to deal with misbehaving boys when the lights went out. The third place I was picked up in my sleeping bag in the morning and dropped off across the lane from the sleeping shed. Once I met a pretty girl and smiled at her through every meeting. Yikes that does not sound like you had a good experience at convention 'sleepovers'. The last 5 years of conventions for me were in a non professing status so I was either shunned or the rowdier kids wanted to hang out with me. I guess they thought if I didn't profess that I was a wild one lol. I was actually shocked that many of those professing, looked up to elite kids were drinking and smoking etc. I didn't actually drink until I was about 15 and then only rarely. I did smoke though. Not professing was an eye opener for me.
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Post by ForeverFree on Jul 29, 2023 14:26:53 GMT -5
When I was growing up we lived 5 miles from the convention grounds, so we never slept there. During my early teens I went to 4 conventions in another province. Once I had an encounter with a predator, another time I had to deal with misbehaving boys when the lights went out. The third place I was picked up in my sleeping bag in the morning and dropped off across the lane from the sleeping shed. Once I met a pretty girl and smiled at her through every meeting. Yikes that does not sound like you had a good experience at convention 'sleepovers'. The last 5 years of conventions for me were in a non professing status so I was either shunned or the rowdier kids wanted to hang out with me. I guess they thought if I didn't profess that I was a wild one lol. I was actually shocked that many of those professing, looked up to elite kids were drinking and smoking etc. I didn't actually drink until I was about 15 and then only rarely. I did smoke though. Not professing was an eye opener for me. As a child, I enjoyed going to convention. It was like a holiday or a camp experience. We were innocent naive children able to play with other kids and have fun; no worries and no pressures. As a teen, the perception began to change. The judgements started. How I dressed and who I "hung out with" at convention. I was now at the age where I should "be about my Father's business". I dreaded the Saturday night meetings, as I felt the pressure of the requirement to stand and commit my life to this way. I felt that those close to me were questioning why I wasn't conforming to their expectations. As an young adult, there were pressures from other expectations. The judgements continued and now it was expected that I should be looking for a professing spouse. If I wasn't looking for that, it was assumed that I was "worker material". People were judged by what they drove to get there, or who they came along with. Did they come in a big high-end motorhome or did they bring a tent trailer? Did they sleep in the sleeping quarters or did they stay in the trailer with their parents? What was their job at convention? Were they serving the workers table or were they cleaning the toilets? I left the meetings as a young adult and returned to convention for one day the next year; I had seen others do this and for some reason thought that's what I should do. Well the judgement came all over again, this time in a new format. I could just hear them whispering and thinking the things that I had heard all my life; that "I had tried the worldly way and I was coming back." That I "came back because I knew it was the only way". That I felt guilt and shame and had come back to redeem my soul. That was the last convention I attended.
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Post by snow on Jul 29, 2023 14:34:59 GMT -5
Yikes that does not sound like you had a good experience at convention 'sleepovers'. The last 5 years of conventions for me were in a non professing status so I was either shunned or the rowdier kids wanted to hang out with me. I guess they thought if I didn't profess that I was a wild one lol. I was actually shocked that many of those professing, looked up to elite kids were drinking and smoking etc. I didn't actually drink until I was about 15 and then only rarely. I did smoke though. Not professing was an eye opener for me. As a child, I enjoyed going to convention. It was like a holiday or a camp experience. We were innocent naive children able to play with other kids and have fun; no worries and no pressures. As a teen, the perception began to change. The judgements started. How I dressed and who I "hung out with" at convention. I was now at the age where I should "be about my Father's business". I dreaded the Saturday night meetings, as I felt the pressure of the requirement to stand and commit my life to this way. I felt that those close to me were questioning why I wasn't conforming to their expectations. As an young adult, there were pressures from other expectations. The judgements continued and now it was expected that I should be looking for a professing spouse. If I wasn't looking for that, it was assumed that I was "worker material". People were judged by what they drove to get there, or who they came along with. Did they come in a big high-end motorhome or did they bring a tent trailer? Did they sleep in the sleeping quarters or did they stay in the trailer with their parents? What was their job at convention? Were they serving the workers table or were they cleaning the toilets? I left the meetings as a young adult and returned to convention for one day the next year; I had seen others do this and for some reason thought that's what I should do. Well the judgement came all over again, this time in a new format. I could just hear them whispering and thinking the things that I had heard all my life; that "I had tried the worldly way and I was coming back." That I "came back because I knew it was the only way". That I felt guilt and shame and had come back to redeem my soul. That was the last convention I attended. I can see how it would change as a teen if you were professing or hadn't professed yet. I was neither. I professed at 8 years old and quit professing at 12 years of age. So I was someone that had already made my 'stand' and then quit so I was viewed as someone for whom there was no hope lol... So I never had to worry about people thinking I should marry a professing person or go into the work. I was there because I had to attend not because I wanted to be there. I can see how it was like that for those that did profess. They were expected to marry within the group and you could see alliances being made even at the young age of 13 and up. I saw it with my friends. Some of my friends wanted to go into the work too. So yes, I imagine that my experience from 12 -17 was a lot different from those who were still 'in'. Thank you for that look at it from the inside. I am sorry about the judgement you had to go through. I can relate to that. Probably for different reasons though
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Post by verna on Jul 29, 2023 14:36:21 GMT -5
Yikes that does not sound like you had a good experience at convention 'sleepovers'. The last 5 years of conventions for me were in a non professing status so I was either shunned or the rowdier kids wanted to hang out with me. I guess they thought if I didn't profess that I was a wild one lol. I was actually shocked that many of those professing, looked up to elite kids were drinking and smoking etc. I didn't actually drink until I was about 15 and then only rarely. I did smoke though. Not professing was an eye opener for me. As a child, I enjoyed going to convention. It was like a holiday or a camp experience. We were innocent naive children able to play with other kids and have fun; no worries and no pressures. As a teen, the perception began to change. The judgements started. How I dressed and who I "hung out with" at convention. I was now at the age where I should "be about my Father's business". I dreaded the Saturday night meetings, as I felt the pressure of the requirement to stand and commit my life to this way. I felt that those close to me were questioning why I wasn't conforming to their expectations. As an young adult, there were pressures from other expectations. The judgements continued and now it was expected that I should be looking for a professing spouse. If I wasn't looking for that, it was assumed that I was "worker material". People were judged by what they drove to get there, or who they came along with. Did they come in a big high-end motorhome or did they bring a tent trailer? Did they sleep in the sleeping quarters or did they stay in the trailer with their parents? What was their job at convention? Were they serving the workers table or were they cleaning the toilets? I left the meetings as a young adult and returned to convention for one day the next year; I had seen others do this and for some reason thought that's what I should do. Well the judgement came all over again, this time in a new format. I could just hear them whispering and thinking the things that I had heard all my life; that "I had tried the worldly way and I was coming back." That I "came back because I knew it was the only way". That I felt guilt and shame and had come back to redeem my soul. That was the last convention I attended. I, like you, went to convention for part of a day the summer after I’d left. I had loved convention. I have 2 memories. 1) a young child standing on the seat in front of me - spying a ring on my finger - pointing and shaking her head in a disapproving manner and 2) asking a worker who I liked, if I, not going to meeting, was going to go to hell. She confirmed that that is the belief. I left and never returned to.
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Post by SharonArnold on Jul 29, 2023 16:52:53 GMT -5
I, like you, went to convention for part of a day the summer after I’d left. I had loved convention. I have 2 memories. 1) a young child standing on the seat in front of me - spying a ring on my finger - pointing and shaking her head in a disapproving manner and 2) asking a worker who I liked, if I, not going to meeting, was going to go to hell. She confirmed that that is the belief. I left and never returned to. I'm sorry, because I know how hurtful that had to have been for you. I, personally, never really liked convention. There were so many awkward moments there, and I wasn't able to read the world full of books that were otherwise waiting for me! I loathed porridge and convention stew, though I liked the macaroni (not the hash!) that sometimes showed up at suppertime! I liked the tomato soup, but not not the hot chocolate in the evenings! I went through a phase, where I would count up all the meetings, and keep a "percentage done" assessment all through the convention. However, I did scan the speakers lists, and glom on the gifted speakers (like Howard Mooney and such) that would sometimes show up there! Those were the ones where the hour would fly by! I did enjoy my friends, and independence from my parents, when I slept on my own in the sleeping quarters. Still, I could never have imagined convention being anything but the safest place on earth, in a personal physical sense. It guts me to think that it was anything but safe for a number of boys and girls and subordinate workers (both male and female). I can scarcely fathom this, even now. I can remember leaving convention, and everyone (for example, at the gas station) looked (and acted) SO strange! The convention high would normally last until late Monday, sometimes Tuesday, rarely Wednesday. It is very interesting to have experienced this kind of world. My husband, who is a Roman Catholic, finds it fascinating. But, no matter how I try, I know I can never really explain it to him. That is why I appreciate the people on this forum, because they totally understand the mindset, though experiences may differ.
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Post by ForeverFree on Jul 29, 2023 17:05:57 GMT -5
I attended a gospel meeting in my city several months after leaving the way. I had only lived in the city for about a year, so didn't know the "young people" that well, but had spent a bit of time around them at those often awkward social events. As I was leaving, there was a group of about 15 "young people" standing at the back of the school gym in a huddle much like that of a football team, all looking directly or over their shoulder at me. I can still see it in my mind, almost thirty years later. Not one of them spoke to me, but they were certainly speaking about me. The only 2x2 functions I've attended in this city since are funerals for those I respected.
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Post by ForeverFree on Jul 29, 2023 17:12:08 GMT -5
I, like you, went to convention for part of a day the summer after I’d left. I had loved convention. I have 2 memories. 1) a young child standing on the seat in front of me - spying a ring on my finger - pointing and shaking her head in a disapproving manner and 2) asking a worker who I liked, if I, not going to meeting, was going to go to hell. She confirmed that that is the belief. I left and never returned to. I'm sorry, because I know how hurtful that had to have been for you. I, personally, never really liked convention. There were so many awkward moments there, and I wasn't able to read the world full of books that were otherwise waiting for me! I loathed porridge and convention stew, though I liked the macaroni (not the hash!) that sometimes showed up at suppertime! I liked the tomato soup, but not not the hot chocolate in the evenings! I went through a phase, where I would count up all the meetings, and keep a "percentage done" assessment all through the convention. However, I did scan the speakers lists, and glom on the gifted speakers (like Howard Mooney and such) that would sometimes show up there! Those were the ones where the hour would fly by! I did enjoy my friends, and independence from my parents, when I slept on my own in the sleeping quarters. Still, I could never have imagined convention being anything but the safest place on earth, in a personal physical sense. It guts me to think that it was anything but safe for a number of boys and girls and subordinate workers (both male and female). I can scarcely fathom this, even now. I can remember leaving convention, and everyone (for example, at the gas station) looked (and acted) SO strange! The convention high would normally last until late Monday, sometimes Tuesday, rarely Wednesday. It is very interesting to have experienced this kind of world. My husband, who is a Roman Catholic, finds it fascinating. But, no matter how I try, I know I can never really explain it to him. That is why I appreciate the people on this forum, because they totally understand the mindset, though experiences may differ. I can remember leaving convention, and everyone (for example, at the gas station) looked (and acted) SO strange! The convention high would normally last until late Monday, sometimes Tuesday, rarely Wednesday.
It is very interesting to have experienced this kind of world. My husband, who is a Roman Catholic, finds it fascinating. But, no matter how I try, I know I can never really explain it to him. That is why I appreciate the people on this forum, because they totally understand the mindset, though experiences may differ.
Ditto!
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Post by Persona non grata on Jul 30, 2023 2:42:20 GMT -5
That's odd? I guess they aren't too comfortable with people staying and sleeping on convention grounds in this current atmosphere of hyper-vigilance. Renting a couple convention halls and offering to reimburse those who made previous reservations has got to be inflicting a financial hit.. Maybe the days of farm conventions are over? I guess people attending will boost the local economy by renting motels and spiking restaurant receipts. No more stew, bring a sack lunch Although it may seem odd for those of us used to conventions in the traditional sense, it’s not a completely new idea; several conventions are held in rented facilities (mainly in “poorer/developing” countries). Think of the positives: less down time spent at preps means the workers can spend more time and efforts focused on their real job; preaching the gospel. I think it’s good that they’re offering financial reimbursement. (Don’t worry about the financial hit to the ministry; the funds are there! 😉) Of course, the vast majority of friends in North America won’t require reimbursement, so this is a nice gesture to those in need. I’m happy to sacrifice the stew, if it makes convention a safer place.
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Post by Dan on Jul 30, 2023 5:03:25 GMT -5
Yikes that does not sound like you had a good experience at convention 'sleepovers'. The last 5 years of conventions for me were in a non professing status so I was either shunned or the rowdier kids wanted to hang out with me. I guess they thought if I didn't profess that I was a wild one lol. I was actually shocked that many of those professing, looked up to elite kids were drinking and smoking etc. I didn't actually drink until I was about 15 and then only rarely. I did smoke though. Not professing was an eye opener for me. As a child, I enjoyed going to convention. It was like a holiday or a camp experience. We were innocent naive children able to play with other kids and have fun; no worries and no pressures. As a teen, the perception began to change. The judgements started. How I dressed and who I "hung out with" at convention. I was now at the age where I should "be about my Father's business". I dreaded the Saturday night meetings, as I felt the pressure of the requirement to stand and commit my life to this way. I felt that those close to me were questioning why I wasn't conforming to their expectations. As an young adult, there were pressures from other expectations. The judgements continued and now it was expected that I should be looking for a professing spouse. If I wasn't looking for that, it was assumed that I was "worker material". People were judged by what they drove to get there, or who they came along with. Did they come in a big high-end motorhome or did they bring a tent trailer? Did they sleep in the sleeping quarters or did they stay in the trailer with their parents? What was their job at convention? Were they serving the workers table or were they cleaning the toilets? I left the meetings as a young adult and returned to convention for one day the next year; I had seen others do this and for some reason thought that's what I should do. Well the judgement came all over again, this time in a new format. I could just hear them whispering and thinking the things that I had heard all my life; that "I had tried the worldly way and I was coming back." That I "came back because I knew it was the only way". That I felt guilt and shame and had come back to redeem my soul. That was the last convention I attended.
Looking back, I can understand the guilt associated with leaving.. Its not that I was abandoning the Truth, because my faith was still intact. It was leaving a Way of life (eat, sleep, and go to mtg). Your almost programmed or brainwashed to an extent that dictates every aspect of your life, or what they've decided a Christian life should consist of. When that mindset is drilled into you day & night for years, and your essentially separated (hidden) from every outside (worldly) influence, your more less automatically programmed to comply and conform with the status quo.
After leaving, I continued to hit a mtg on occasion, even 2 conventions. Cliques of younger people gathered between mtgs, subtle criticisms of not holding certain standards, etc. Admittedly, there is a comforting feeling about being separated from the rat race and being a part of the chosen few, just stopping at a McDonald's on the way back from convention seemed noisy and a dreadful return to a lost world. The convention had an almost hypnotic affect, indoctrinating an exclusive one dimensional line of thinking that mentally set you (the Elect) apart from every other hell-bound soul in the world.
It took years for that professing life style (influence) to wear-off. I started enjoying life and realized it wasn't a sin. The rigid rules no longer made sense, never did really. I learned more about the bible after leaving, and many unanswered questions were answered. I still understand the appeal of a unique quaint church and the close fellowship of Friends, but to me it was too confining, restrictive, and dictatorial. They have their ways (traditions), but aren't exclusively 'The Way'. Its really a very simplistic church that's gotten bogged down with some superficial and ritualistic features that have little biblical support.
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Post by snow on Jul 30, 2023 13:24:10 GMT -5
I attended a gospel meeting in my city several months after leaving the way. I had only lived in the city for about a year, so didn't know the "young people" that well, but had spent a bit of time around them at those often awkward social events. As I was leaving, there was a group of about 15 "young people" standing at the back of the school gym in a huddle much like that of a football team, all looking directly or over their shoulder at me. I can still see it in my mind, almost thirty years later. Not one of them spoke to me, but they were certainly speaking about me. The only 2x2 functions I've attended in this city since are funerals for those I respected. Ahh so I wasn't the only one that got 'talked about'. I was so used to that attending all the meetings until I could leave home and graduate. You don't want to be the one that quits professing and still has to attend meetings because you are too young to leave home. They can be very judgmental that's for sure! Not all, but a good number would make sure I knew they were talking about me!
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Post by ForeverFree on Jul 30, 2023 20:00:42 GMT -5
I attended a gospel meeting in my city several months after leaving the way. I had only lived in the city for about a year, so didn't know the "young people" that well, but had spent a bit of time around them at those often awkward social events. As I was leaving, there was a group of about 15 "young people" standing at the back of the school gym in a huddle much like that of a football team, all looking directly or over their shoulder at me. I can still see it in my mind, almost thirty years later. Not one of them spoke to me, but they were certainly speaking about me. The only 2x2 functions I've attended in this city since are funerals for those I respected. Ahh so I wasn't the only one that got 'talked about'. I was so used to that attending all the meetings until I could leave home and graduate. You don't want to be the one that quits professing and still has to attend meetings because you are too young to leave home. They can be very judgmental that's for sure! Not all, but a good number would make sure I knew they were talking about me! I never wanted to profess, but growing up in a professing home from both lines of professing families with 98% of the extended family professing, the expectation and pressure to "do what is right" is in your face 24/7. This put me in a difficult place; I felt I didn't belong with people on the outside who were already excluding me for my weird lifestyle and forbidden closeness but if I didn't profess I wouldn't fit in with my family and those that were considered to be the closest people to me and would have to live under even more pressure as non-professing in a professing home. So as a teen, I "made my choice", but deep inside me, I knew that that choice was a temporary fix. When I was planning to move away from home and go to school in another city, I wanted to live in the dorms. This would be a step towards my freedom. I found that I didn't have that choice. Without even consulting ME, the workers had already arranged for a home that I would stay in. After a year of that and several months on my own, I stopped going to meetings.
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Post by christiansburg on Jul 31, 2023 7:13:46 GMT -5
That's odd? I guess they aren't too comfortable with people staying and sleeping on convention grounds in this current atmosphere of hyper-vigilance. Renting a couple convention halls and offering to reimburse those who made previous reservations has got to be inflicting a financial hit.. Maybe the days of farm conventions are over? I guess people attending will boost the local economy by renting motels and spiking restaurant receipts. No more stew, bring a sack lunch Wings and Thelyingtruth websites have taken down information about closed conventions. Do you know why? Very odd, wonder if this is the beginning of more coverup? I have been around 68 years and never seen anything quite like this. CSA is nothing new I knew about it back in the 1960's.
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Post by Annan on Jul 31, 2023 7:48:02 GMT -5
Ahh so I wasn't the only one that got 'talked about'. I was so used to that attending all the meetings until I could leave home and graduate. You don't want to be the one that quits professing and still has to attend meetings because you are too young to leave home. They can be very judgmental that's for sure! Not all, but a good number would make sure I knew they were talking about me! I never wanted to profess, but growing up in a professing home from both lines of professing families with 98% of the extended family professing, the expectation and pressure to "do what is right" is in your face 24/7. This put me in a difficult place; I felt I didn't belong with people on the outside who were already excluding me for my weird lifestyle and forbidden closeness but if I didn't profess I wouldn't fit in with my family and those that were considered to be the closest people to me and would have to live under even more pressure as non-professing in a professing home. So as a teen, I "made my choice", but deep inside me, I knew that that choice was a temporary fix. When I was planning to move away from home and go to school in another city, I wanted to live in the dorms. This would be a step towards my freedom. I found that I didn't have that choice. Without even consulting ME, the workers had already arranged for a home that I would stay in. After a year of that and several months on my own, I stopped going to meetings. Wow. Funny thing is that my parents didn't want us kids to profess. They simply wanted us and themselves to believe in what the cult taught, not man made rules. We followed the dress code somewhat, however, and especially when the workers visited. I can certainly see them doing exactly what you said with a place to stay when going to school. I understand why that did such a thing. However, I often wonder what was so scary to them about the 'outside' world. Was a person's faith and convictions not enough to keep them true? No wonder when I was growing up that higher education was shunned. That wasn't the same for all believers, though.
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Post by snow on Jul 31, 2023 13:16:07 GMT -5
Ahh so I wasn't the only one that got 'talked about'. I was so used to that attending all the meetings until I could leave home and graduate. You don't want to be the one that quits professing and still has to attend meetings because you are too young to leave home. They can be very judgmental that's for sure! Not all, but a good number would make sure I knew they were talking about me! I never wanted to profess, but growing up in a professing home from both lines of professing families with 98% of the extended family professing, the expectation and pressure to "do what is right" is in your face 24/7. This put me in a difficult place; I felt I didn't belong with people on the outside who were already excluding me for my weird lifestyle and forbidden closeness but if I didn't profess I wouldn't fit in with my family and those that were considered to be the closest people to me and would have to live under even more pressure as non-professing in a professing home. So as a teen, I "made my choice", but deep inside me, I knew that that choice was a temporary fix. When I was planning to move away from home and go to school in another city, I wanted to live in the dorms. This would be a step towards my freedom. I found that I didn't have that choice. Without even consulting ME, the workers had already arranged for a home that I would stay in. After a year of that and several months on my own, I stopped going to meetings. I can see how that would be difficult. I was lucky that way. Most of my relatives did not profess. Just my paternal grandfather and aunt, my maternal grandmother and my parents. The rest never did. That was what was hard for me to understand the 'if you don't profess you're going to hell' mantra I heard. That meant a lot of people I loved were going to hell. I never understood the lengths the workers went to interfere with people's lives until I came here. Sure I had lots of guilt trips laid on my when I quit professing and still had to live at home for another 5 years, but no one stopped me from leaving home and doing things my way. I don't remember ever having a worker visit in the city I moved to. I do remember some of the professing kids did reach out to me once, but that was it. I guess I wasn't worth the effort of saving...
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Post by ForeverFree on Jul 31, 2023 18:57:32 GMT -5
I never wanted to profess, but growing up in a professing home from both lines of professing families with 98% of the extended family professing, the expectation and pressure to "do what is right" is in your face 24/7. This put me in a difficult place; I felt I didn't belong with people on the outside who were already excluding me for my weird lifestyle and forbidden closeness but if I didn't profess I wouldn't fit in with my family and those that were considered to be the closest people to me and would have to live under even more pressure as non-professing in a professing home. So as a teen, I "made my choice", but deep inside me, I knew that that choice was a temporary fix. When I was planning to move away from home and go to school in another city, I wanted to live in the dorms. This would be a step towards my freedom. I found that I didn't have that choice. Without even consulting ME, the workers had already arranged for a home that I would stay in. After a year of that and several months on my own, I stopped going to meetings. Wow. Funny thing is that my parents didn't want us kids to profess. They simply wanted us and themselves to believe in what the cult taught, not man made rules. We followed the dress code somewhat, however, and especially when the workers visited. I can certainly see them doing exactly what you said with a place to stay when going to school. I understand why that did such a thing. However, I often wonder what was so scary to them about the 'outside' world. Was a person's faith and convictions not enough to keep them true? No wonder when I was growing up that higher education was shunned. That wasn't the same for all believers, though. Higher education when I was growing up was not disallowed, but it was definitely not encouraged. There is great fear that education can lead to education.
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Post by ForeverFree on Jul 31, 2023 19:06:44 GMT -5
I never wanted to profess, but growing up in a professing home from both lines of professing families with 98% of the extended family professing, the expectation and pressure to "do what is right" is in your face 24/7. This put me in a difficult place; I felt I didn't belong with people on the outside who were already excluding me for my weird lifestyle and forbidden closeness but if I didn't profess I wouldn't fit in with my family and those that were considered to be the closest people to me and would have to live under even more pressure as non-professing in a professing home. So as a teen, I "made my choice", but deep inside me, I knew that that choice was a temporary fix. When I was planning to move away from home and go to school in another city, I wanted to live in the dorms. This would be a step towards my freedom. I found that I didn't have that choice. Without even consulting ME, the workers had already arranged for a home that I would stay in. After a year of that and several months on my own, I stopped going to meetings. I can see how that would be difficult. I was lucky that way. Most of my relatives did not profess. Just my paternal grandfather and aunt, my maternal grandmother and my parents. The rest never did. That was what was hard for me to understand the 'if you don't profess you're going to hell' mantra I heard. That meant a lot of people I loved were going to hell. I never understood the lengths the workers went to interfere with people's lives until I came here. Sure I had lots of guilt trips laid on my when I quit professing and still had to live at home for another 5 years, but no one stopped me from leaving home and doing things my way. I don't remember ever having a worker visit in the city I moved to. I do remember some of the professing kids did reach out to me once, but that was it. I guess I wasn't worth the effort of saving... When I left, the senior brother worker came to my workplace to find me and ask to set up a coffee date. I met with him, and that was that. Never had another call or contact from him or really any other worker. I firmly believe that they only focus on lost sheep that have influence. I was single, so no there was no spouse or children that I would be interfering with. I did not provide money to the work, so there was no financial loss. Like Snow, I guess I wasn't worth the effort of saving...
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Post by SharonArnold on Jul 31, 2023 20:13:00 GMT -5
I can see how that would be difficult. I was lucky that way. Most of my relatives did not profess. Just my paternal grandfather and aunt, my maternal grandmother and my parents. The rest never did. That was what was hard for me to understand the 'if you don't profess you're going to hell' mantra I heard. That meant a lot of people I loved were going to hell. I never understood the lengths the workers went to interfere with people's lives until I came here. Sure I had lots of guilt trips laid on my when I quit professing and still had to live at home for another 5 years, but no one stopped me from leaving home and doing things my way. I don't remember ever having a worker visit in the city I moved to. I do remember some of the professing kids did reach out to me once, but that was it. I guess I wasn't worth the effort of saving... When I left, the senior brother worker came to my workplace to find me and ask to set up a coffee date. I met with him, and that was that. Never had another call or contact from him or really any other worker. I firmly believe that they only focus on lost sheep that have influence. I was single, so no there was no spouse or children that I would be interfering with. I did not provide money to the work, so there was no financial loss. Like Snow, I guess I wasn't worth the effort of saving...No, they know when you are beyond their reach. They may process it/ speak of it far different ways, but they know.
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Post by snow on Aug 1, 2023 13:18:13 GMT -5
When I left, the senior brother worker came to my workplace to find me and ask to set up a coffee date. I met with him, and that was that. Never had another call or contact from him or really any other worker. I firmly believe that they only focus on lost sheep that have influence. I was single, so no there was no spouse or children that I would be interfering with. I did not provide money to the work, so there was no financial loss. Like Snow, I guess I wasn't worth the effort of saving...No, they know when you are beyond their reach. They may process it/ speak of it far different ways, but they know. I think you're right. If they didn't know by the time I left home that I was a lost cause, they were in deep denial.
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