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Husband
Jul 21, 2006 21:16:00 GMT -5
Post by Diane Hensley on Jul 21, 2006 21:16:00 GMT -5
Sunday marks the first year of my husband's death. Please pray for us, we need it so much. My heart just aches.
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juju
Senior Member
Posts: 263
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Husband
Jul 21, 2006 21:18:40 GMT -5
Post by juju on Jul 21, 2006 21:18:40 GMT -5
I will send you warm hugs and good thoughts on sunday Diane. Hang in there
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Husband
Jul 21, 2006 21:23:01 GMT -5
Post by justamom on Jul 21, 2006 21:23:01 GMT -5
Sending thoughts and hugs your way.... they say the first year is the hardest.. I feel that every year they are gone is the hardest....
Hugs...
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Husband
Jul 21, 2006 21:23:56 GMT -5
Post by mrleo on Jul 21, 2006 21:23:56 GMT -5
Diane, I'll be thinking of you too. Do you have any special plans to commemorate the day?
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Hol
Junior Member
Posts: 146
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Husband
Jul 21, 2006 21:28:01 GMT -5
Post by Hol on Jul 21, 2006 21:28:01 GMT -5
Diane,
I cannot begin to fathom your emotion, but "in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost" I make the sign for you and for him.
Amen.
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Husband
Jul 21, 2006 21:28:40 GMT -5
Post by bluejay on Jul 21, 2006 21:28:40 GMT -5
Dear Diane,
I've thought of you and wondered how you were doing. You're certainly in the prayers of many.
Do you enjoy writing? If so -- why don't you write a "letter" to your husband? Share your sorrows, thoughts & also the victories you've had this past year. I know he'd be proud of how you've survived. Sometimes getting our feelings out of our heart and into the open helps to soothe our pain.
Write the letter - send it with a prayer - then delete it.
Hugs to you.
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Husband
Jul 22, 2006 4:54:44 GMT -5
Post by Diane Hensley on Jul 22, 2006 4:54:44 GMT -5
Thanks all, appreciate it. Alex, Amy and I will be spending time at the grave letting go of balloons to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary. We plan to go out to eat and talk about Gary and how we really miss him.
We are getting by, but it is just way too hard without him. I feel can't go on, but have to. I work, so that helps.
Thanks to all my friends.
Love, Diane and Alex
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Husband
Jul 22, 2006 16:50:59 GMT -5
Post by Jo H on Jul 22, 2006 16:50:59 GMT -5
Diane,
You have been on my mind for several days now.
I hope all will work out and you can some day look back at the relationship you had with Gary and it will bring many smiles as well as tears.
To me tears mean love and caring. Smiles mean joy and remembrance.
I send lots of love and maybe I'll send a private email. I kinda of just dropped out for awhile.
Love to Alex too.
Jo from Oregon
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Husband
Jul 22, 2006 20:23:53 GMT -5
Post by ClayRandall on Jul 22, 2006 20:23:53 GMT -5
Diane,
This can be a pain that never goes away, but it actually does lessen with time. You, your husband, and your family are in my prayers.
Clay
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Husband
Jul 24, 2006 15:00:22 GMT -5
Post by withopeneyes (Mandy) on Jul 24, 2006 15:00:22 GMT -5
Diane,
I'm glad you talk and think of your husband a lot. I know people who push the memories aside and avoid all talk on the subject.
Best wishes for you and yours- may your heart be comforted.
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Husband
Jul 30, 2006 18:11:24 GMT -5
Post by just me on Jul 30, 2006 18:11:24 GMT -5
My sincerest condolences on your loss
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Husband
Jul 30, 2006 21:53:21 GMT -5
Post by seekingtruth on Jul 30, 2006 21:53:21 GMT -5
Diane, weve never met but my heart hurts for you. We (children at home and I) went up to the cemetery after the first year. It was late winter and it was dark because we couldn't go until I got off work. It's out in the country on a hill. We drove in and I parked the car so the lights would shine on the site. There in the headlights were three deer. There were tulips that my parents had taken up earlier and the deer were nibbling them. We laughed and cried because hubby/dad loved nature and would have really appreciated those deer sampling the flowers! It's amazing the forms comfort comes in! When my husband passed away I tried to think of a way to explain what it felt like. It felt like someone had chopped three legs off a chair and I was supposed to sit in it. He was only 42 - it's been 20 years and I still miss him. Bunches of thought hugs!
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pain of death or divorce
Guest
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Husband
Jul 30, 2006 22:04:24 GMT -5
Post by pain of death or divorce on Jul 30, 2006 22:04:24 GMT -5
My ex-professing wife divorced me 16 years ago. The loss of a dear companion, accompanied by the loss of their love, can easily be just as painful as the passing-away of a spouse who loved you to the last breath.
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Husband
Jul 30, 2006 22:29:35 GMT -5
Post by Diane Hensley on Jul 30, 2006 22:29:35 GMT -5
Diane, weve never met but my heart hurts for you. We (children at home and I) went up to the cemetery after the first year. It was late winter and it was dark because we couldn't go until I got off work. It's out in the country on a hill. We drove in and I parked the car so the lights would shine on the site. There in the headlights were three deer. There were tulips that my parents had taken up earlier and the deer were nibbling them. We laughed and cried because hubby/dad loved nature and would have really appreciated those deer sampling the flowers! It's amazing the forms comfort comes in! When my husband passed away I tried to think of a way to explain what it felt like. It felt like someone had chopped three legs off a chair and I was supposed to sit in it. He was only 42 - it's been 20 years and I still miss him. Bunches of thought hugs! I just can't seem to go on with my life. These past two weeks have been the hardest. What are we suppose to do when we are left behind and a child to raise on our own. I just feel like I have given up lately. It isn't getting any easier. Am I doing somthing wrong? Thanks to all for your encouragement. Love, Diane
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Husband
Jul 31, 2006 1:00:03 GMT -5
Post by seekingtruth on Jul 31, 2006 1:00:03 GMT -5
You're dealing with reality. It's overwhelming to try to carry on when the one closest to you is no longer with you. One thought that helped me put one foot in front of the other was that I knew he had confidence in me to do my best as a parent. There were so many times that I wanted to ask him what to do, how to manage, just to hold me tight. I'm sure that you know a lot of what he thought and how he would do things...draw on that. This may sound silly but I put pillows the full length of his side of the bed - for me it is just a reminder of his presence and how privileged I am to have been his wife. You have a special part of him in your child...I often look at the kids (we had four) and can see and hear echoes of him. You're doing nothing wrong! It's a struggle. I wrote one time "How can I go on when the youness is gone from the usness?" But I've learned that the youness isn't all that far away - the years we had together, though all too short, made a bond that helps me carry on. In my heart I give you a hug, make us some tea, cry with you, and sit with you.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Husband
Jul 31, 2006 3:55:09 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2006 3:55:09 GMT -5
Fortunately, life does go on. Tommorrow is the 17th anniversary of the passing of the mother of my oldest daughter. This daughter (Emma) was 6 then. Katarina passed away at 38 after 6 months in intensive care on a respirator. Emma and I, more or less, lived in the hospital during that time.
Lots of water has run under the bridge since then .. It didn't seem like it to start with, but God has been very good to us all since then.
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