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Post by stillsad on Jun 23, 2016 9:15:40 GMT -5
I read much on here about how enlighten the workers and friends are becoming about abuse.
I will share with you my daughter's experience with my mother-in-law just two weeks ago. We were kicked out of meeting 5 years ago in part because we stood up for abused children in our meeting. My mother-in-law informed my daughter that we were wrong to report the parents to the authorities. We should have just prayed about it and let God take care of the situation. What she does not know is that the workers reported the parents first and then ask us to report the parents. The workers then let everyone believe we did all the reporting. My daughter ask her grandmother what she would do if she found out that her son was abusing her. My mother-in-law said she would pray about it because you keep things in the family.
My daughter is horrified that her own grandmother would not stand up for her.
So please explain how in 2016 workers and friends think abuse should STILL be sweep under the RUG.
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Post by vanillagorilla on Jun 23, 2016 11:14:12 GMT -5
One of the many roles inherent in parents and grandparents is to protect their children. Your mother in law FAILED her own granddaughter in their conversation. I cannot believe this gross negligence of her responsibility. And good for you for standing up for those children, and shame on those who kicked you out. You did the right thing, even if it was not the popular thing to do. That's integrity.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 16:06:59 GMT -5
I read much on here about how enlighten the workers and friends are becoming about abuse. I will share with you my daughter's experience with my mother-in-law just two weeks ago. We were kicked out of meeting 5 years ago in part because we stood up for abused children in our meeting. My mother-in-law informed my daughter that we were wrong to report the parents to the authorities. We should have just prayed about it and let God take care of the situation. What she does not know is that the workers reported the parents first and then ask us to report the parents. The workers then let everyone believe we did all the reporting. My daughter ask her grandmother what she would do if she found out that her son was abusing her. My mother-in-law said she would pray about it because you keep things in the family.My daughter is horrified that her own grandmother would not stand up for her. So please explain how in 2016 workers and friends think abuse should STILL be sweep under the RUG. old habits die hard...
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Post by BobWilliston on Jun 23, 2016 16:50:32 GMT -5
I read much on here about how enlighten the workers and friends are becoming about abuse. I will share with you my daughter's experience with my mother-in-law just two weeks ago. We were kicked out of meeting 5 years ago in part because we stood up for abused children in our meeting. My mother-in-law informed my daughter that we were wrong to report the parents to the authorities. We should have just prayed about it and let God take care of the situation. What she does not know is that the workers reported the parents first and then ask us to report the parents. The workers then let everyone believe we did all the reporting. My daughter ask her grandmother what she would do if she found out that her son was abusing her. My mother-in-law said she would pray about it because you keep things in the family.My daughter is horrified that her own grandmother would not stand up for her. So please explain how in 2016 workers and friends think abuse should STILL be sweep under the RUG. In my case it was the other way around. The workers advised everyone not to report child rape. So I did it myself and said nothing to anyone. And when the arrest happened they claimed "the right thing had been done". People who design abusive practices in the name of religion never abandon them. The best they can do is accommodate civil law ... if they can't bypass it.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 18:32:43 GMT -5
I read much on here about how enlighten the workers and friends are becoming about abuse. I will share with you my daughter's experience with my mother-in-law just two weeks ago. We were kicked out of meeting 5 years ago in part because we stood up for abused children in our meeting. My mother-in-law informed my daughter that we were wrong to report the parents to the authorities. We should have just prayed about it and let God take care of the situation. What she does not know is that the workers reported the parents first and then ask us to report the parents. The workers then let everyone believe we did all the reporting. My daughter ask her grandmother what she would do if she found out that her son was abusing her. My mother-in-law said she would pray about it because you keep things in the family.My daughter is horrified that her own grandmother would not stand up for her. So please explain how in 2016 workers and friends think abuse should STILL be sweep under the RUG. old habits die hard... Yes especially if people continue adopt the philosophy of the three wise monkeys. Together they embody the proverbial principle "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil". The three monkeys are Mizaru, covering his eyes, who sees no evil; Kikazaru, covering his ears, who hears no evil; and Iwazaru, covering his mouth, who speaks no evil.All pretending that evil is not there. However the cruel hard fact is that evil is still there alive and kicking and ruining the lives of innocent people.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2016 5:18:44 GMT -5
It is said that time is a great healer, some changes take place gradually and some are accelerated by pressure applied from the right quarters, it is also said the nothing happens before its time i.e the time is not quite ripe/right. Patience is a virtue so patiently continue to work towards the desired end that is pleasing to God and to His children wheresoever they are. Keep praying for changes as well, prayer is a mighty source of power. Dont be afraid to throw light on things hidden in the dark, exposure is a step in the right direction to correction in the light. May God continue to guide and bless all efforts to purify our environments for the good of His kingdom, the kingdom's sake.
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Post by emy on Jun 24, 2016 19:09:26 GMT -5
I've shared this before but it has been a long time, so will write it again.
I rather think my "balanced" perspective of this fellowship has developed because my parents/grandparents heard workers who later definitely became imperfect and even ex-workers. So I did not grow up being taught that workers never do wrong and nothing negative can be said about them. In light of what I read here, I'm glad that was my experience.
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Post by rational on Jun 24, 2016 20:34:46 GMT -5
I read much on here about how enlighten the workers and friends are becoming about abuse. I will share with you my daughter's experience with my mother-in-law just two weeks ago. We were kicked out of meeting 5 years ago in part because we stood up for abused children in our meeting. My mother-in-law informed my daughter that we were wrong to report the parents to the authorities. We should have just prayed about it and let God take care of the situation. What she does not know is that the workers reported the parents first and then ask us to report the parents. The workers then let everyone believe we did all the reporting. My daughter ask her grandmother what she would do if she found out that her son was abusing her. My mother-in-law said she would pray about it because you keep things in the family.My daughter is horrified that her own grandmother would not stand up for her. So please explain how in 2016 workers and friends think abuse should STILL be sweep under the RUG. How many years has it been since the workers were involved with this situation?
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Post by withlove on Jun 24, 2016 23:51:32 GMT -5
I read much on here about how enlighten the workers and friends are becoming about abuse. I will share with you my daughter's experience with my mother-in-law just two weeks ago. We were kicked out of meeting 5 years ago in part because we stood up for abused children in our meeting. My mother-in-law informed my daughter that we were wrong to report the parents to the authorities. We should have just prayed about it and let God take care of the situation. What she does not know is that the workers reported the parents first and then ask us to report the parents. The workers then let everyone believe we did all the reporting. My daughter ask her grandmother what she would do if she found out that her son was abusing her. My mother-in-law said she would pray about it because you keep things in the family.My daughter is horrified that her own grandmother would not stand up for her. So please explain how in 2016 workers and friends think abuse should STILL be sweep under the RUG. How many years has it been since the workers were involved with this situation? Their involvement is ongoing until the time when they admit they were in error and remove the ban.
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Post by rational on Jun 25, 2016 7:34:21 GMT -5
How many years has it been since the workers were involved with this situation? Their involvement is ongoing until the time when they admit they were in error and remove the ban. It sounds like it is the family that is in contention. The poster stated that the workers reported the abuse. Not sure how that is sweeping anything under the rug. The community was left with the impression that the poster was the reporter but since abuse reporting is generally anonymous it would be interesting to know who provided the information regarding the report. While mandated reporters are required to give their name, reporters may request anonymity to protect their privacy. On the surface this seems to be as much a family issue as a F&W/worker issue. The reporters (the poster and the workers) did the correct thing.
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Post by withlove on Jun 25, 2016 8:06:02 GMT -5
Their involvement is ongoing until the time when they admit they were in error and remove the ban. It sounds like it is the family that is in contention. The poster stated that the workers reported the abuse. Not sure how that is sweeping anything under the rug. The community was left with the impression that the poster was the reporter but since abuse reporting is generally anonymous it would be interesting to know who provided the information regarding the report. While mandated reporters are required to give their name, reporters may request anonymity to protect their privacy. On the surface this seems to be as much a family issue as a F&W/worker issue. The reporters (the poster and the workers) did the correct thing. It seems as if stillsad protected the anonymity of the workers, anyway, as even his mother-in-law doesn't know that the workers asked him to report and then reported themselves. And if the stillsad and spouse were banned in part because they reported, that would be unfair. And if the workers intentionally set up stillsad to take the blame of reporting. Do you mean a family issue as in the abusive family? Or as in stillsad's family?
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Post by rational on Jun 25, 2016 18:51:49 GMT -5
It seems as if stillsad protected the anonymity of the workers, anyway, as even his mother-in-law doesn't know that the workers asked him to report and then reported themselves. And if the stillsad and spouse were banned in part because they reported, that would be unfair. And if the workers intentionally set up stillsad to take the blame of reporting. Do you mean a family issue as in the abusive family? Or as in stillsad's family? From the original post: I will share with you my daughter's experience with my mother-in-law just two weeks ago. We were kicked out of meeting 5 years ago in part because we stood up for abused children in our meeting. My mother-in-law informed my daughter that we were wrong to report the parents to the authorities. This is what seems to be happening today instead of what was happening 5 years ago. I don't see current worker involvement - just family disagreement.
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Post by stillsad on Jun 27, 2016 19:20:31 GMT -5
We never shared this situation with the in-laws. Where they got their info I can only imagine.
They never even ask why we left meeting.
I have learned that when others don't like you it doesn't matter what you do it is always wrong in their eyes.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2016 9:57:55 GMT -5
I've shared this before but it has been a long time, so will write it again. I rather think my "balanced" perspective of this fellowship has developed because my parents/grandparents heard workers who later definitely became imperfect and even ex-workers. So I did not grow up being taught that workers never do wrong and nothing negative can be said about them. In light of what I read here, I'm glad that was my experience. Emy - I appreciate your comment. My wife often says that growing up that her family never ever put the workers on a pedestal or believed in any way they were infallible. Hence her faith was never in the workers. To a large extent that made it easier for her to leave, which she did independently of me leaving (ie we left about 3 years apart). With a raft of people leaving here between say 1990-2005 there were some pretty dreadful things said by workers to people about what would happen to them if they questioned the workers or left. I doubt that many workers in the US would say the same things and I have heard since leaving that the workers regret some of the things that they said. I'm pretty sure that it's largely a thing of the past today because of the internet and more open communication. As I have said all along, they themselves are not perfect and some used the tools of "scare tactics" to control the flock, and that was unfortunately the wrong approach.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2016 10:10:12 GMT -5
Change isn't going to happen until a committee is formed to show support for those reporting abuse. As long as overseers have autocratic authority that cannot be questioned, nothing has changed. Skirts might be shorter and girls may dress more worldly that say 30 years ago. But otherwise little has changed as far as the power structure of the work is concerned.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2016 7:48:06 GMT -5
Change isn't going to happen until a committee is formed to show support for those reporting abuse. As long as overseers have autocratic authority that cannot be questioned, nothing has changed. Skirts might be shorter and girls may dress more worldly that say 30 years ago. But otherwise little has changed as far as the power structure of the work is concerned. Yes I agree and support the call for a committee to be set up to deal with those serious misdemeanors, practices and anythings that damage the fellowship and those within the fellowship that are affected. I have seen many changes taking place during my lifetime so far, we no longer kneel for prayers,that practice was a great ordeal for the older folks, poor souls! The wearing of Hats and long sleeves have been relaxed; at one time in my neck of the woods outsiders referred to us as " the long sleeves religeon" whilst other called us "the tent gathering" because gospel meetings were held in tents. In those days outsiders criticized the way women dressed, no so much the men, but women!! they got a lot of the criticism. Unfortunately we still get some criticism for being aloof, exclusive and behaving like we are holier than others that are in worldly churches. It portrays us as being selfish, unloving and uncaring for our brethren outside of our church. God loves us all, and we aught to love one another and show it in meaningful ways, like the good samaratan did, for example. We aught to let our lights shine brightly if we really have the christ within us, dim lights attract darkness and Jesus was/is still the light of this world, darkness and the cover of darkness feeds and encourages danger to our souls. But what do I know, i am just like a wandering an old fool.
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