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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2015 12:07:27 GMT -5
He went to England because that was the only place he could get work in his area of expertise. She had promised to join him. And it was only till his project was complete. Traditionally a woman followed a man because he was the breadwinner. With two careers marital splits become a lot more common.
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Post by snow on Jul 12, 2015 12:12:41 GMT -5
If someone looks after a single parent child but they dont understand single parent issues - do they have to do some humanity course? i notice 19 out of your 22 posts are questions but you don't like to answer any questions asked of you, but rather 'answer' with another question. Are you a worker? Meets the definition of trolling actually. It happens.
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Post by emy on Jul 12, 2015 12:25:38 GMT -5
He went to England because that was the only place he could get work in his area of expertise. She had promised to join him. And it was only till his project was complete. Traditionally a woman followed a man because he was the breadwinner. With two careers marital splits become a lot more common. Question about careers.. Is working as a journalist 2 days a week and for a real estate agent (apparently doing mundane jobs) 3 days REALLY a career? What are her journalistic duties?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2015 12:34:34 GMT -5
I don't wish to ID the person. To me she simply represents something I hear about all the time. Journalists all over the world are finding it tough these days. I am amazed so many students still want to do journalism. We are close to having this job completely automated through AI.
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Post by Greg on Jul 12, 2015 12:35:57 GMT -5
He went to England because that was the only place he could get work in his area of expertise. She had promised to join him. And it was only till his project was complete. Traditionally a woman followed a man because he was the breadwinner. With two careers marital splits become a lot more common. Question about careers.. Is working as a journalist 2 days a week and for a real estate agent (apparently doing mundane jobs) 3 days REALLY a career? What are her journalistic duties? I think not all mothers are motherly, not all fathers are fatherly not all care givers care, not all in the hospitality industry are hospitable, and so forth. Ahhh, but your question was about careers. Is there a definitive definition for "career"? Is that what one does for employment over the course of a lifetime?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2015 12:43:09 GMT -5
I think we avoid most arguments because 1 - we emphasize different things 2 - we vary in our definitions.
And one person's career is another person's daily grind I am afraid. I think it was in Sweden where they found that x number of women left their domestic life for employment. And then the govt had to employ the same number of people to take their roles in domestic responsibilities.
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Post by emy on Jul 12, 2015 12:45:29 GMT -5
Question about careers.. Is working as a journalist 2 days a week and for a real estate agent (apparently doing mundane jobs) 3 days REALLY a career? What are her journalistic duties? I think not all mothers are motherly, not all fathers are fatherly not all care givers care, not all in the hospitality industry are hospitable, and so forth. Ahhh, but your question was about careers. Is there a definitive definition for "career"? Is that what one does for employment over the course of a lifetime? Good question. I am trained to be a teacher, but all the teaching I have done has been as a substitute after all 4 children were in school. So what is my career? Mothering (still ongoing ) or teaching? I agree with your first statement! Something I forgot to add about the WIQ's career... Is it not something she could also do in England?
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Post by BobWilliston on Jul 12, 2015 13:12:56 GMT -5
He went to England because that was the only place he could get work in his area of expertise. She had promised to join him. And it was only till his project was complete. Traditionally a woman followed a man because he was the breadwinner. With two careers marital splits become a lot more common. Traditionally blacksmiths made a good living. Then times changed that and a decent living wasn't guaranteed. Traditionally a man could be the sole breadwinner and support a wife and several children. Then times changed and it takes two bread winners to GUARANTEE a decent living.
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Post by Greg on Jul 12, 2015 13:36:17 GMT -5
He went to England because that was the only place he could get work in his area of expertise. She had promised to join him. And it was only till his project was complete. Traditionally a woman followed a man because he was the breadwinner. With two careers marital splits become a lot more common. Traditionally blacksmiths made a good living. Then times changed that and a decent living wasn't guaranteed. Traditionally a man could be the sole breadwinner and support a wife and several children. Then times changed and it takes two bread winners to GUARANTEE a decent living. Traditionally the male gets paid more or is more likely to get the job than the female....certain careers excepted.
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Post by snow on Jul 12, 2015 15:05:42 GMT -5
I think we avoid most arguments because 1 - we emphasize different things 2 - we vary in our definitions.
And one person's career is another person's daily grind I am afraid. I think it was in Sweden where they found that x number of women left their domestic life for employment. And then the govt had to employ the same number of people to take their roles in domestic responsibilities. We all have our strengths. In the case of a mother that finds it difficult to be exclusively a caregiver, it's likely better that she shares that with someone else. If the mother is not happy being a full time caregiver, she is more likely to get frustrated and find it harder to care for her children with the patience it requires. Greg stated it pretty well, I thought.
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Post by SharonArnold on Jul 12, 2015 15:27:50 GMT -5
If you care for single-parent kids but dont understand them is it because you havent got an education? Quite possibly so. Ummmm. I suspect Bob is one of the "more educated" people on this board, both in terms of formal credentials and in actual life experience.
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Post by SharonArnold on Jul 12, 2015 15:29:20 GMT -5
Do you think workers always know what they're talking about when it comes to raising children. Some of them know only what their own abusive parents practiced on them. A professing couple that could not have kids adopted five of them. None of them professed and each had some dysfunction or deviance from the average professing person . . . jail, drugs, unwed mother, welfare.. An overseer suggested to me that God must know what he's doing when some people can't have kids. Or, like, did they adopt kids with some degree of FAS? (No winners there, no matter how stellar a human being you might be.)
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Post by Greg on Jul 12, 2015 15:33:11 GMT -5
A professing couple that could not have kids adopted five of them. None of them professed and each had some dysfunction or deviance from the average professing person . . . jail, drugs, unwed mother, welfare.. An overseer suggested to me that God must know what he's doing when some people can't have kids. Or, like, did they adopt kids with some degree of FAS? (No winners there, no matter how stellar a human being you might be.) I do nit know what FAS is. If I recall correctly they were problem children before being adopted and the adoptive parents were not able to help them beyond room and board and some love which might have been appreciated and returned in kind or not.
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Post by SharonArnold on Jul 12, 2015 15:34:14 GMT -5
He went to England because that was the only place he could get work in his area of expertise. She had promised to join him. And it was only till his project was complete. Traditionally a woman followed a man because he was the breadwinner. With two careers marital splits become a lot more common. Question about careers.. Is working as a journalist 2 days a week and for a real estate agent (apparently doing mundane jobs) 3 days REALLY a career? What are her journalistic duties? I would thinlk that if it is a career or not depends on her attitude towards it, not necessarily the financial bottom line. I think you can make a career out of being a street sweeper. There's the saying "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water."
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Post by SharonArnold on Jul 12, 2015 15:35:44 GMT -5
Or, like, did they adopt kids with some degree of FAS? (No winners there, no matter how stellar a human being you might be.) I do nit know what FAS is. If I recall correctly they were problem children before being adopted and the adoptive parents were not able to help them beyond room and board and some love which might have been appreciated and returned in kind or not. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Research it. If you have ever known families who have adopted kid like these, you will forever suspend judgement over parenting skills.
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Post by SharonArnold on Jul 12, 2015 15:39:23 GMT -5
We stayed up last night caring for a little seven year old girl. She was sick. We nearly took her to hospital. Her mother is away for the weekend. This mother married a family member. He is an Engineer whose specialty forced him to go to England for 4 or 5 years . She promised to follow him, but reneged after he left. She said she has to follow her "own career." This "career" is two days journalism for a local newspaper and a few days working for a Real-estate agent, doing, amongst other things, delivering pamphlets. So he's paying the mortgage, and child maintenance now. And often, we care for the girl. This woman is a liberal woman with strident feminist ideals. We find her rather cold.
I hold that a lot of feminism leads to child abuse. It increases the chance of marital separation. I hear all the time of women who split from successful marriages because the woman feels "unfulfilled" - taught that motherhood is a trap and domesticity a chore. Now family breakup happens to half of all households in Australia - it's all normalized, mainstream behavior. And devastating to children - if couples bother to have children. I wonder how many unborn children's lives are terminated because they might interfere with the mother's career? It's called "feminism" in that wonderful Freudian "Projection" way I often mention here. There's little that's "feminine" about most feminists I know. Now we have this child in our care who misses her father terribly. She has nightmares. When her father comes home it's so wonderful, but then there's that fateful day when we all go back to the airport again, and the hysterical screaming starts all over again. Why is CSA so fashionable today? It's always been here. I think it's because we abuse children so much these days, and we are creating a society which increasingly has no place for children, that "protection of children" has become a foil for what we as a society are doing to them. Bert, I would have to say, “Good for you”, in that you were caring for this child and filling in the gaps in community for her. I send you all my love and respect for that. I am sure you find it immensely rewarding. I think this is really what life is all about, and sometimes wonder if any talk of heaven or hell or the hereafter is simply a distraction. When you are with this little girl, I hope you love her and listen to her, not just care for her physical body. (And maybe turn off the tv, and read her some Dr. Suess.) As far as women are concerned, I do believe that if the care of offspring was left up to the male of the species, then humankind, along with many other life forms, would have vanished long ago. As far as “feminism” is concerned, I suspect for the most part, that it is simply teaching women how to better pick partners that would help them care for, and ensure the survival of their young.
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Post by slowtosee on Jul 12, 2015 15:39:26 GMT -5
An overseer suggested to me that God must know what he's doing when some people can't have kids.[/quote].
I take it, he was not speaking of himself though, about why he went into the work instead of marrying and having kids? I believe, there are parents who truly wish they had not had kids. Alvin
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Post by snow on Jul 12, 2015 15:45:43 GMT -5
I do nit know what FAS is. If I recall correctly they were problem children before being adopted and the adoptive parents were not able to help them beyond room and board and some love which might have been appreciated and returned in kind or not. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Research it. If you have ever known families who have adopted kid like these, you will forever suspend judgement over parenting skills. My birth mother fostered many FAS children over the years. There is nothing you can do depending on the level of damage other than love them. She fostered 96 kids over the years and many of them were special needs. Fetal Alcohol kids don't have much of a chance. One of the last foster children she cared for she had since he was a baby and so he is very much a part of our family. Since she died last year my sisters that live in his area try to watch out for him as much as possible. He is in his early 20's now so he is under the jurisdiction of social services for his care and funding, but mom had still been his 'rock'. He is so lost without her.
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Post by What Hat on Jul 12, 2015 15:51:09 GMT -5
He went to England because that was the only place he could get work in his area of expertise. She had promised to join him. And it was only till his project was complete. Traditionally a woman followed a man because he was the breadwinner. With two careers marital splits become a lot more common. Right, but with "traditionally", pure hell for a woman was much more common.
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Post by whyisitso on Jul 12, 2015 15:53:59 GMT -5
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Research it. If you have ever known families who have adopted kid like these, you will forever suspend judgement over parenting skills. My birth mother fostered many FAS children over the years. There is nothing you can do depending on the level of damage other than love them. She fostered 96 kids over the years and many of them were special needs. Fetal Alcohol kids don't have much of a chance. One of the last foster children she cared for she had since he was a baby and so he is very much a part of our family. Since she died last year my sisters that live in his area try to watch out for him as much as possible. He is in his early 20's now so he is under the jurisdiction of social services for his care and funding, but mom had still been his 'rock'. He is so lost without her. Wow, what an amazing lady your mum was Snow.
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Post by What Hat on Jul 12, 2015 15:57:05 GMT -5
I think not all mothers are motherly, not all fathers are fatherly not all care givers care, not all in the hospitality industry are hospitable, and so forth. Ahhh, but your question was about careers. Is there a definitive definition for "career"? Is that what one does for employment over the course of a lifetime? Good question. I am trained to be a teacher, but all the teaching I have done has been as a substitute after all 4 children were in school. So what is my career? Mothering (still ongoing ) or teaching? I agree with your first statement! Something I forgot to add about the WIQ's career... Is it not something she could also do in England? Clearly, she didn't want to go there, whatever the reason. I don't think it's valid in a marriage situation to always make decisions based on who has the more valid reasons. It's too bad when people can't work things out. I think most astute readers immediately re-process Bert's post from the lady's point of view, which suggests many other possibilities. Bert I didn't actually mean to be critical of your relative. Just trying to show that there may be other ways of looking at the situation.
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hberry
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Post by hberry on Jul 12, 2015 16:07:37 GMT -5
I do nit know what FAS is. If I recall correctly they were problem children before being adopted and the adoptive parents were not able to help them beyond room and board and some love which might have been appreciated and returned in kind or not. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Research it. If you have ever known families who have adopted kid like these, you will forever suspend judgement over parenting skills. Amen to that. I know two couples who ended up with FAS kids, and although the kids are now in their early 20s, it is beginning to look like the heartache never ends. Two different couples, two different parenting styles (and both raised by professing folks with meetings in their homes)...same issues with the children. It breaks your heart for both the parents and the children.
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Post by snow on Jul 12, 2015 16:15:21 GMT -5
My birth mother fostered many FAS children over the years. There is nothing you can do depending on the level of damage other than love them. She fostered 96 kids over the years and many of them were special needs. Fetal Alcohol kids don't have much of a chance. One of the last foster children she cared for she had since he was a baby and so he is very much a part of our family. Since she died last year my sisters that live in his area try to watch out for him as much as possible. He is in his early 20's now so he is under the jurisdiction of social services for his care and funding, but mom had still been his 'rock'. He is so lost without her. Wow, what an amazing lady your mum was Snow. Yes she really was. She gave me up for adoption and I think it was something she felt guilty about for years. She said she started fostering to make up for giving me up. But she truly made a big difference in a lot of lives. When I met her she had three FAS children at different levels of functioning. 2 of them she'd had since babies (1 being the young guy I was referring to in my last post). When one of them had to go into a personal care facility because he was getting too much for her and her husband (they were both in their 70's by this time), she got a young girl that had a brain injury from being thrown down the stairs. This poor girl had many seizures throughout the day even with medication and mom knew how to deal with them. I honestly don't know how she did it. She didn't quit fostering until she was about 78 years old. That was when her last one turned 18 and could no longer live with them in a foster situation. Then she gave up the young girl too as her husband had died and she just couldn't do it alone anymore.
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Post by BobWilliston on Jul 12, 2015 18:21:59 GMT -5
We all have to start at the bottom and work up the ladder. Delivering papers for a land agent might be her first step in the door. Now after reading what Bert wrote I wonder if this was an actual incident or something he made up as an example. Most people need to get a qualification first. It seems easier for the man to come back than the woman and child to uproot and go to the UK but then she should have thought about her career before he took the job if she wanted the marriage. Are kids any less well adjusted with both parents working and being put into day care than if one parent stayed home. Why is it expected that a woman put her career on hold after having a child and not the man although we do see that happening more. In some cultures the grandparents move in and look after the children while both parents work. Good areas of research which no doubt have been done in this area of childcare. I know a good number of women who fortunately made sure they had a worthwhile career of their own. When hubby becomes incapacitated she'll need a lot more than minimum wage.
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Post by Lee on Jul 13, 2015 18:50:29 GMT -5
Why is CSA so fashionable today? It's always been here. I think it's because we abuse children so much these days, and we are creating a society which increasingly has no place for children, that "protection of children" has become a foil for what we as a society are doing to them. The west is screwing all of its children over by borrowing at rates it will never be able to pay back, even if the rates seem to be sustainable for now. The earth has a maximum GDP, after all, after which time there will be no more expansion possible. Socialist policies, whether its big military or big welfare which require deficit spending are pseudo-forms of salvation.
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Post by magpie on Jul 13, 2015 19:48:23 GMT -5
Mention of CSA,now look at it in the context of criminal paedophilia. Before to many comments please it appears Bert and many have no concept of its meaning and vile cruelty. Study it, just pop it up on the web. You will see it is a born with mental disorder,uncurable sometimes controlable via modern medications,councilling,Pastoring,etc but it remains a terrible infliction until "death". The deviant mind seeks pre-pubesant children,like a fox or dingo seeking out a prey.They are (be horrified)prone to animals also. To many unatural,unbiblical celibate demanded ministries/priesthoods encourage the unatural to join,not that their desire was originally to remove themselves from the natural to them their victim destroying urges.Is there workers who have looked at you your children or siblings with a prey to preen in their uncontrolled mental disordered state. Remember it is a mental disorder not physical,so as many often sujest steriliation does nothing to curtale the mind. Most charged or revealed CSA workers worldwide have had multipal double figures of victims,last two charged here recently "known" 13 @ 12 victims respectely.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2015 20:09:28 GMT -5
SharonArnold quote - 'As far as women are concerned, I do believe that if the care of offspring was left up to the male of the species, then humankind, along with many other life forms, would have vanished long ago. As far as “feminism” is concerned, I suspect for the most part, that it is simply teaching women how to better pick partners that would help them care for, and ensure the survival of their young."
And if it was left to women to bring home the meat and fend off waring tribes or other human species, we would long ago have been extinct. And feminism does not "ensure the survival of their young" IF you are referring to the single-mother feminist. Children of single mothers do badly on every single metric.
As an aside, one thing which separates us from Homo neanderthal is the specialization of the sexes. Neanderthals, whether men or women, seemed to have both done the same chores (going by hunting injuries on fossils.) Specialization was another advantage that Homo sapiens had over other hominids.
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Post by dmmichgood on Jul 14, 2015 1:57:39 GMT -5
As an aside, one thing which separates us from Homo neanderthal is the specialization of the sexes. Neanderthals, whether men or women, seemed to have both done the same chores (going by hunting injuries on fossils.) Specialization was another advantagethat Homo sapiens had over other hominids.
Bert you must not have seen the series on First Peoples. We did interbreed with Neanderthals. We have their genes within us. In fact we wouldn't still be around had we not done so.
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