To Where You Are

[Deleted]

Today is a sad day for my wife, family and myself.It was on the 12th February 2007 at 4.30pm that our oldest Grandson Ben was drowned in the surf at Coffs Harbour. Ben was a strong swimmer, and his big passion was surfing. I think that he learnt to swim before he could walk. There was a strong surf running as the weather was coming from the east. Coffs looks out to the Pacific Ocean to the east. Great waves for surfing.

Ben's father is a builder, and Ben was apprentice to his father.
He was 18 at that time. Because of the inclement weather they spent the day working in the shed at home, and did not go to a building site. My son will always remember the last day with Ben.
At knock off time Ben told his father he was trying to make up his mind whether to go surfing, or go to see his girlfriend. He chose surfing.

He was body boarding, and at the end of a run was dumped on a sandbar, and knocked unconcious. This meant he was unable to swim out, and was swept out to sea in a rip. By the time his mates noticed he was missing, it was too late, Ben had vanished.
They found his board on the beach.

The alarm went out and his distraught parents, friends went to the beach to search for Ben. It was a Monday evening and they searched until dark, and stayed on the beach all night. Early Tuesday morning the whole extended family arrived to help in the search. My wife and I walked up and down the beach from dawn til dark, and others went up on the headlands with binoculars to search. There were also fixed wing planes and helicopters in the search. The Police boat patrolled back and forth,out to sea. The search went on all day Tuesday, Wednesday and part of Thursday. At about 11am a message came in that Ben had been found and the Police boat was bringing him in.

At this tragic time I have no doubt that the hand of God was involved. I will tell you why.
When my son first arrived on the beach he knew Ben was gone.
His prayer and our prayer was, "The sea has taken Ben from us,but please God allow the sea to give his body back to us".
We wanted this for closure. About 2 weeks before a man in a kayak was lost off the coast of New Zealand and never found. We did not want this. The lifesavers told us that 5km out there was a strong north south current and if Ben got in this he would never be found.
When we were searching on the beach, a complete stranger came up to Tom, Ben's brother. She had a rock in her hand shaped like a heart. She said she had lost her brother in similar circumstances,and the rock was found during the search for him. She gave it to Tom and hoped it would help in finding Ben.
Complete strangers would hug my wife and I on the beach.

My son as a builder employs a lot of labour. About 2 months before Shane worked with Ben on a job as a contract carpenter.It was Shane who went out in his little boat, and found Ben 3km from shore. The sea was still rough from the storm. I asked Shane after the funeral why he was out there, was he fishing. He said no, he had a feeling, and Ben just popped up beside the boat, still in his wet suit. He said he was floating face up, and if he had not of known the circumstances, he would have thought Ben was playing a joke. We were worried about sharks but his body was untouched. When the boys were surfing there was always a pod of porpoises swimming with them. Shane said that when Ben was found the porpoises were with him. He told our younger granddaughters this and they have kept the lovely thought that maybe the porpoises protected Ben from the sharks.

Don't tell me that God was not present at that time.
At Ben's funeral the song "To where you are " by Josh Groban was played. The version was Josh Groban in concert(2001)
If anybody reads this today, who has lost a loved one in recent times, put this song up on your computer, it will comfort you.
My wife has also played "You raise me up"by Josh Groban.
As we sit here today and play those songs we remember Ben. It is with grief and tears in our eyes, but we also thank and praise God, that he did not forsake us then. We have confidence in knowing that he will never forsake us if we trust in him.

God's will is best.

At 4.30pm today we will stop and remember our dear Grandson Ben, 8 years on.

[StAnne]

May he rest in God's peace.
Prayers for all.

[quizzer]

I'm sorry for your loss, redback. My prayers and thoughts are for you and your family.

[Deleted]

Such sweet comfort in the sensing the hand of God despite the sorrow. Hugs and prayers.

[cooee]

Hello Redback,

sharing your deep sorrow on the anniversary of Ben's passing.

cooee

[jondough]

Thank you Redback for sharing with us and reminding us about the great comfort we have as one of his. Our thoughts, and hearts are with you on this emotional day of remembrance.

[Roselyn T]

Sending thoughts and prayers to you all Redback

[Deleted]

My Wife and I thank you dear people for your thoughts. It did help to bring us comfort.
We love you, may God bless you.
Mr. and Mrs Redback.

[Deleted]

Bumped, to remember Ben.

[Deleted]

Feb 11, 2015 9:21:20 GMT -5 @redback said:

Bumped, to remember Ben.

Out of sight but certainly not out of mind, my thoughts are with you and your Family, pleasant memories of the good times together.

[cooee]

Dear Mr and Mrs Redback,

Remembering Ben today. We had a look today at our photo of his plaque placed on the rocks at Sawtell. Remembering you both also with your deep feelings of grief and loss.

With our love,

cooee and eeooc

[Deleted]

On both TMB, and TLC Temp. I posted a thread "To Where You Are". It was an account of how we lost our oldest Grandson Ben, in a surfing accident at Coffs Harbour, on 12th February 2007. On the headland above the beach from where he was surfing, a plaque has been placed on a rock. It is in an isolated spot, some distance from a car park,and not easy to find. The location is well off the main highway.

A few years ago on TMB I contacted someone who posted there. Because of the nature of the posts, I thought we may know them. I sent a PM, and found out we knew their parents well, and knew them as children. Because of this we have kept contact and become very good E friends. They live in Victoria, we live in New South Wales, and they have a Son in Queensland. They often visit their Son, by car, a 1600 KM trip. To go from Victoria to Queensland you need to go through NSW. It can either be the inland highway,past where we live, or the highway along the east coast. We are about 200 KM inland from Coffs Harbour.

Two weeks ago they arranged to have lunch with us as part of the trip. They came up the inland route. Whilst they are a sincere professing couple, and we being ex's, we spent a wonderful four hours together. We were able to catch up on Victorian news, where we grew up. It was great, we enjoyed it so much. We would have mentioned losing Ben, but without much detail, and certainly no mention of the exact location of the plaque. They returned to Victoria via the coastal highway.

Today they rang me, to tell me they stopped at a place called Sawtell, near Coffs Harbour. As far as I can remember when they were here, Sawtell was not mentioned. They went for a walk on the headland, and low and behold came across Ben's plaque. They hoped that we would understand the thrill they got in finding that plaque in such a remote spot. They could hardly believe what they had found, as it was certainly not planned.

I believe if people are truly in touch with God amazing things can happen. They as we do, have a great faith in God.
It is so refreshing, to have the bond between us, and one would pray and hope that this can happen more often between 2x2's and ex's. With God's help it can.


Thank you cooee and eeooc, your kind thoughts mean so much to us. We value your friendship.
Have posted the account of you finding Ben's plaque. Hope that is OK with you.

[Jesse_Lackman]

Redback - I think this is the best thread ever on TMB. You lost a grandson - and gained true friends. Joy and sorrow interwoven.

Thanks so much for posting the story.

[Roselyn T]

Thinking of you all today <3

[snow]

My heart goes out to you in your loss. I recently became a grandmother and will be again soon. I can't imagine the heartache you must feel losing your grandson. It would tear my world apart. Big Hugs to you.