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Post by quizzer on Sept 29, 2011 1:24:08 GMT -5
Alexander ~ I tend to agree with Rational on the matter of dealing with the mother who may be creating all the drama. Perhaps an intervention is in order and counseling wouldn't hurt here? Since you do have a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), perhaps you know they tend to read more into rejection than normal from what I have read on the subject? So dealing proactively with the negative element here would be advantageous to a resolution of the problem, IMO. Since your own mother may be at the core of the problem, this needs to be dealt with proactively, IMO. By her reaction to your foster children, she may have a problem with attachment issues herself ~ or it may be due to being a long-term member of the 2x2's belief system? The fellowship doesn't exactly product warm and fuzzy feelings over a period of years ~ normally just the opposite from never being able to measure up to workers expectations. Alexander, you may be projecting the blame on others who were influenced by your mother's attitude or things we are not aware of here? Perhaps if you settled the family matter with her, the other adverse elements would dissipate? However, if too many words have been exchanged and the overseers are now bent on punishment by shunning or excommunication, you really need to consider moving on with your life, IMO? No offense, but I never saw a worker back down or apologize for lack of compassion or understanding. Some may be as devoid of emotions as you can get from living within a bubble themselves? They take out their frustrations on the friends, because they can and you have been conditioned not to withstand them. Personally, with "friends like that, who needs enemies?" Your best bet is to get on with your life and explore new territories outside the fold. I agree, faune, that it would be wonderful for alexander to resolve issues with his mother. They do need to be a family, and a lot of healing is needed. However, now alexander's situation involved excommunication from the overseer. No matter how the situation stands between alexander and his mother, alexander's ruffling the overseer's feathers is a separate issue. I think you have a valid observation on the workers. Al mentioned once that joining the work is the last conscious decision that a person makes. After that, all decisions are made for you. Therefore, I think it's easy for workers to overlook any mental/physical/emotional/spiritual discomfort that they cause for the friends. After all, all of their mental/physical/emotional/spiritual decisions were made for them, regardless of any of their input. [/quote]
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Post by faune on Sept 29, 2011 12:47:32 GMT -5
Alexander ~ I tend to agree with Rational on the matter of dealing with the mother who may be creating all the drama. Perhaps an intervention is in order and counseling wouldn't hurt here? Since you do have a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), perhaps you know they tend to read more into rejection than normal from what I have read on the subject? So dealing proactively with the negative element here would be advantageous to a resolution of the problem, IMO. Since your own mother may be at the core of the problem, this needs to be dealt with proactively, IMO. By her reaction to your foster children, she may have a problem with attachment issues herself ~ or it may be due to being a long-term member of the 2x2's belief system? The fellowship doesn't exactly product warm and fuzzy feelings over a period of years ~ normally just the opposite from never being able to measure up to workers expectations. Alexander, you may be projecting the blame on others who were influenced by your mother's attitude or things we are not aware of here? Perhaps if you settled the family matter with her, the other adverse elements would dissipate? However, if too many words have been exchanged and the overseers are now bent on punishment by shunning or excommunication, you really need to consider moving on with your life, IMO? No offense, but I never saw a worker back down or apologize for lack of compassion or understanding. Some may be as devoid of emotions as you can get from living within a bubble themselves? They take out their frustrations on the friends, because they can and you have been conditioned not to withstand them. Personally, with "friends like that, who needs enemies?" Your best bet is to get on with your life and explore new territories outside the fold. I agree, faune, that it would be wonderful for alexander to resolve issues with his mother. They do need to be a family, and a lot of healing is needed. However, now alexander's situation involved excommunication from the overseer. No matter how the situation stands between alexander and his mother, alexander's ruffling the overseer's feathers is a separate issue. I think you have a valid observation on the workers. Al mentioned once that joining the work is the last conscious decision that a person makes. After that, all decisions are made for you. Therefore, I think it's easy for workers to overlook any mental/physical/emotional/spiritual discomfort that they cause for the friends. After all, all of their mental/physical/emotional/spiritual decisions were made for them, regardless of any of their input. Quizzer ~ Your response is exactly why I started a new thread today entitled "The Boomerang Effect Upon Lives," which eventually comes back to haunt the originator or perpetrator in a big way. Like it says in the scriptures, "You sow to the wind, and reap the whirlwind." This topic is actually a very interesting one in psychology and I hope some will read the article I posted and make their own comments. People do resent being controlled and manipulated and it will always come back to backfire later ~ it eventually breeds rebellion and contempt ~ not warm and fuzzy feelings!
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