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Post by horsewoman on Sept 24, 2006 19:15:10 GMT -5
For my part...I dont have children. However I do admit treating little ones in a punitive way when I went to another church. I sure regret this....I didnt know then that it wasnt "normal" to be so strict. I certainly would do it differently today.
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Post by Here we go on Sept 24, 2006 19:21:48 GMT -5
I couldn't even tell you what the child was doing in meeting to deserve such abuse. How do you know it was abuse? Are you sure? Or is that just your opinion?
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Post by Brick on Sept 24, 2006 20:07:13 GMT -5
I was whipped--taken out to be whipped--a lot when I was small.
One Sunday, my mum hauled me out for a switching and told me to stand still while she broke a switch off of a shrub. Well, I wasn't born yesterday, so I took off, lickedy-split around the house, running away. My mum starts chasing. Around and around the house we go. I was giggling at that point. The whole thing seemed kind of funny. Meanwhile, inside the house, the folken would hear, "Giggle, giggle, giggle" coming past the window, then a couple of seconds later, my mum's bun bouncing past. I'm sure there were a few suppressed giggles inside, too.
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juju
Senior Member
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Post by juju on Sept 25, 2006 12:37:24 GMT -5
I got my ear twisted profusly on more than one occasion!
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juju
Senior Member
Posts: 263
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Post by juju on Sept 25, 2006 12:39:09 GMT -5
...and because of the ear twistings, I can no longer spell
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Post by abuse on Jul 11, 2008 23:42:58 GMT -5
I was beaten (not an exaggeration) by my dear loving 2x2 parents. When my mom was scared my dad might actually kill one of she went to the workers. I got a 20 min "obey your parents" speech from the workers. I was 16 the last time he laid a hand on me, I hit back, hard. I (15 years after I left home) asked a worker I had considered to be a friend if she knew what was going on all those years. She said she has always 'felt sorry' for me when I was 'taken out', but did she ever intervene? Wonder how "sorry" she would have felt if my dad had actually ran one of us over when he was chasing us with a pick-up truck, the engine roaring...
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Post by rational on Jul 12, 2008 0:05:20 GMT -5
I find those collars they claim are for dogs work well on other mammals.
The remote allows you to just move your finger and inflict pain from a distance. The fact that it comes without warning and at any time makes it a powerful behavior modification tool. And it does not tire the parents.
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Post by y me on Jul 12, 2008 1:03:46 GMT -5
I find those collars they claim are for dogs work well on other mammals. The remote allows you to just move your finger and inflict pain from a distance. The fact that it comes without warning and at any time makes it a powerful behavior modification tool. And it does not tire the parents. interesting ......hmmmm, With all the technology surely there has to be something that would backfire at some time? The scary part (for me) is the physcological effect that this method would evoke at some point when children ''rebel'', would they rebel against themselves, knowing that their every action had to pass the test of parental discretion? I believe the method would be very effective, but if my parents had used it on me, I might wonder if my moral views were just a reflection of theirs, not that is that bad either, just wondering how I would react to so much control/ (brain-control?) BUT, it is a very interesting concept, nonetheless, and THANKS for bringing it up!
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Post by kiwi on Jul 12, 2008 4:14:42 GMT -5
I can say that I can't recall ever be touched at any time apart from doing naughty things at home, like hitting my siblings, digging into mums bag for money ;D
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Post by selah on Jul 12, 2008 9:39:21 GMT -5
I was raised in the meetings. I was never taken out of the meetings and beaten. In fact, even at home, on the rare occasion of a spanking, it was administered with a fabric belt... .... which my siblings and I still tease our mom about! It never hurt. My dad's belt was another story, but I only remember receiving his spanking once, and he apologized to me for it, because I was not the guilty party. I am deeply grieved that during my time in meetings, my own children were subjected to extreme discipline. One son in particular presented the most challenge, and I was ill prepared to manage my own frustration with him. He suffered for my anger not only at him, but at myself and at a system that demanded my children behave as adults. I am so grateful for the change that occured in our lives by the grace of God. His love made restoration possible and beautiful. Blessings, Linda
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Post by degem on Jul 12, 2008 11:22:41 GMT -5
I had a "good laugh" Brick when I read your reply #30. Something I sorely need today! I didn't get spankings etc. in meetings because I was "old enough to know better." I started going to meetings when I was 9/10.
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Post by recentarriver on Jul 12, 2008 11:59:01 GMT -5
Most of my "whippings" were not during meeting. I can remember being taken out of mtg with the imminent spanking fast approaching reality but I was quite young. Small enough to be carried out kicking a bit. Most of the time the spanking took place when we were back at home.
Many of my spankings were delivered some time after the promise that they would be given. (You just wait til your dad gets home). This actually gave me the opportunity to "pad" my posterior with comic books, little towels, etc.
My usual reaction was to not show any pain or emotion when I was punished. This only made things worse for me because my parents would work harder to inflict some pain because it was the measure of how much to spank. ("not hurt enough, eh? Well, here is some more")
My aunt included me with my cousins when punnishment was indicated. She would pinch us. Once my cousin and I used shoe polish to make a big issue out of the severity. We bragged that it didn't hurt a bit.
RA
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Post by ex-teenager on Jul 12, 2008 12:06:47 GMT -5
Thankfully I dont remeber being hit in a meeting, or even after a meeting. My parents have hit me... but to be honest I don't remeber when and how! Im thankfully for a relatively safe and happy childhood.
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Post by meeting wailing on Jul 12, 2008 13:16:17 GMT -5
wow, do I ever remember being wailed on in mtgs. My dad would jerk us out of our chairs and wail on us like no tomorrow. The sadistic workers would grin from ear to ear as they encouraged it, especially the oldtimers. I started doing the same thing with my kids then quit the meetings because it was so sick to discipline in that fashion with the worker's "blessing". How some of those workers can even sleep at night know all the terrible things they promoted and encouraged over the years, is beyond me. I am so glad my grandchildren will never have to know that terrible abuse.
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Nichole M
Senior Member
I John 1:5 ..... God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
Posts: 486
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Post by Nichole M on Jul 12, 2008 13:46:29 GMT -5
I was never spanked or whipped in meeting. In fact as a child I only received 2 maybe 3 spanking total. But I already new I better obey.
The only time in meeting that I got taken out was when I was 5 years old. I had a cold or something. It was Wed Night Bible Study and as usual we got there 30 seconds before meeting started. My Dad and sister went and sat down but Mom took me to the kitchen to give me some cough syrup. The elder waited to start the meeting for us to come back. So when Mom and I came in the room and sat down the next thing I new was Dad was yanking me up by the arm and taking me outside. (Now, I was always terrified of my father) I didn't know what I had done. But very unlike my father once we were in the car and driving away he did apologize as he realized I had done nothing wring. He was just mad at Mom for taking me to the kitc hen and making the elder wait to start meeting. (Now what a sight it would have been if Dad yanked mom off the chair and took her outside since he thought she was at fault. but personally I think it was Dads fault as it was always because of him we shoed up 30 sec before meeting started and for him feeling like it was a problem for the elder to wait not even 2 minutes.) I had to spend the entire meeting in the car with Dad and terrified at that.
On many occasions I do remember other kids being taken out of meeting and hearing their screams - if they weren’t screaming when they left they sure were before they got back. No kid deserves to be spanked or have the fear of spanking for wiggling in meeting or whatever their meeting crime was. Whatever the kid did was nothing compared to the parents who disrupted meeting and abused their kids.
Nichole
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Post by shortcake on Jul 13, 2008 15:29:19 GMT -5
Nicole Your father must have been a real jerk to yank you by the arm and drag you out of meeting. He probably pushed your mother around too, maybe even beat her. Was he a drug user? Maybe an alcoholic. Did you ever have any good things happen to you as a child. Doesn't sound like it. I feel sorry for you.
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Post by hairless on Jul 14, 2008 9:06:05 GMT -5
Nope
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Post by freespirit on Jul 14, 2008 9:15:40 GMT -5
Advice from my mother:
Teach your children to love God, not to hate him.
peace, freespirit
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Post by no whip in mtgs on Jul 14, 2008 13:52:19 GMT -5
Did your professing parents whip you in meeting? Do you have any memories of specific floggings you recieved in the other room? Do you parents remember whipping any of your children in meeting? My parents scared me from acting up in meetings! I have seen parents beat the hell out of their children for squirming in meeting when the little ones are too small to sit in adult designed chairs. Just proves that the old Victorian and Puritan ideals of the early workers are wrong. No, we were not whipped in meetings. Maybe we understood that meetings were supposed to be a quiet place. And no, our parents know nothing about old Victorian and Puritan ideals.They didn't get their parenting skills from workers,either.
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Post by sojourningthrulife on Jul 14, 2008 16:48:57 GMT -5
My little sister, about 2-1/2, got all hot-faced during Sunday a.m. mtg., and asked my mother, "Take me out and spank me."
The little tyke felt a spanking would be worth getting some fresh air for.
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Post by always on Jul 16, 2008 12:10:29 GMT -5
always
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Post by MsMarie on Jul 16, 2008 12:30:44 GMT -5
We never did this to our two children, as I think it would have been humiliating for them and somehow disloyal. However, I did see and hear it go on with one father, without protest from any of us.
I once put a post on this forum where I mentioned that a child could have done with a spanking over a particular incident, and was overwhelmed by hate PC replies. This thread seems to have fared better!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2008 13:01:02 GMT -5
Perhaps this type of correction depends upon parential example, and eventually some in decendancy seek a better way. One day I asked a man who I then considered wise who had raised a number of children that were all a credit to his name; "What do you consider to be the prime reason for all your children maturing as they have?"
Yes, the question was from young ignorant person without plans for children, but I knew his reply to be good advice the instant I heard it. What was it? "I believed in correcting them when they were old enough to learn the lesson, young enough to forget punishment." What do you think?
Then I asked him, "well, at what age should one start, and when are they young enough to forget?"
That wise man told me words to the effect, as young as they respond, as old as they've responded quickly.
"Spare the rod and spoil the child" surely can apply many ways. If one thinks of the Hebrew people, and as cruel and mean as they were, likely that rod in that day was one of hurtful violence. Perhaps even now some parents know themselves to be mean, deceitful, cruel, and believe their children will be the same, and continue to use the rod of violence on them hoping to "beat it out of them." .
But, how about in our day? Are there better answers? Could the "rod" not be the rod and staff of the shepherd? Was it ever used to beat on the poor sheep? We've had a flock of sheep. I had a shepherd's rod, it was only used to catch, herd, and urge sheep where to, or, to not go. It was used to beat on natural preditors of the sheep to prevent THEM from doing harm. A good simile for me of how "spare the rod, and spoil the child" is best appled in my day and age.
Yes, I've had many a "licking." It was the only way some parents themselves were raised, and they had no idea of what should be done to "make it stop with me." It would likely be an affront to them to be thought to lack the knowledge of how to make it stop, but that is indeed what occurs. And then, each parent, whether knowing it or not, believes the next generation is "fouling it all up" with raising that following generation of grandkids, unless their children follow exactly the pattern given them by their parents.
Ylva and I are the first to say, "We have erred in ways we know not as well as which we've learned!" However, good parenting results in loving children, with all able first to love their siblings, and then to express their love to their own children, as well as to their own parents. Once again it is "reaping what has been sown" either to bad or good. We love our two children, and tell them so often, as well as telling our grandchildren with age appropriate token gifts, hugs and affection.
Do we think that will make each one turn out perfect? Nope, no such human creature around that we can see. Not ourselves, not others. We have made effort however to break parential molds, where we have experienced them distructive by experience.
Kind regards,
Dennis
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Post by lucyloo on Jul 16, 2008 13:27:07 GMT -5
how about the sexual abuse that runs rampant in this cult and is hidden and approved of. My parents are still in this religion and they were very abusive to me. After they decided that they would stop my brother from molesting me, they said it was my fault and couldn't be professing anymore!! Many workers stayed in our home because my parents have money. They had to have seen much abuse and turned a blind eye to it because my parents supported them. Anybody know me? They sent me to a girls home and I just disappeared. They have nothing to do with me but they were the ones who allowed sexual abuse to happen. Rebecca and Lowell LaVergne. My name is Jenny LaVergne.
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Post by degem on Jul 16, 2008 13:56:36 GMT -5
To Dennis-The advice the wise man gave to you was excellent. I wish I had known that advice when my children were young. I could have then, hopefully, been able to "handle" situations in a kinder way. To this day, I still have some regrets and "wish" I could go back to change some things.
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Post by Praying for you on Jul 16, 2008 14:19:02 GMT -5
how about the sexual abuse that runs rampant in this cult and is hidden and approved of. My parents are still in this religion and they were very abusive to me. After they decided that they would stop my brother from molesting me, they said it was my fault and couldn't be professing anymore!! Many workers stayed in our home because my parents have money. They had to have seen much abuse and turned a blind eye to it because my parents supported them. Anybody know me? They sent me to a girls home and I just disappeared. They have nothing to do with me but they were the ones who allowed sexual abuse to happen. Rebecca and Lowell LaVergne. My name is Jenny LaVergne. I do not know you, but, I am very sorry for what you have been through. Have you visited the WINGS FOR TRUTH website? It will be very helpful to you. There are some on this board that can be of help also-----Cherie Kropp and Scott Ross.
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Post by perfect parents on Jul 18, 2008 14:20:56 GMT -5
were there any so called perfect parents in the bible? Adam & Eve? David? Solomon? Anyone?
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Post by a parent on Jul 18, 2008 16:06:08 GMT -5
I will say there is a difference in a swat on the behind that my kids use to get and abusive behavior.
I have seen some kids almost ask for it because they wanted attention... wanted to sit on the lap of a parent and the parent didn't want the bother.
One of the most appalling things I have seen is children being children, making some kind of noise or other disruptive behavior. and then the parents getting upset probably because they were embarrassed. The disruption was more after the parents got involved than before.
Parents, show love and love will be returned. Loving correction is ok... but being embarrassing is not a reason to be corrected.
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