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Humor
Sept 12, 2016 11:43:01 GMT -5
Gene likes this
Post by vanillagorilla on Sept 12, 2016 11:43:01 GMT -5
My procrastination top ten list....
1.
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Humor
Sept 15, 2016 18:00:22 GMT -5
Post by Gene on Sept 15, 2016 18:00:22 GMT -5
Nice to see FedEx running international ads on American TV -- this one features the gorgeous landscape of New Zealand, as well as some native wild life. Some animals, too.
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Deleted
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Humor
Nov 2, 2016 20:39:38 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2016 20:39:38 GMT -5
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Post by Annan on Dec 19, 2016 9:22:20 GMT -5
When it pays to be a witch.
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Humor
Jan 10, 2017 23:16:41 GMT -5
Post by faune on Jan 10, 2017 23:16:41 GMT -5
(Sorry, couldn't help myself.)
One day the pilot of a small plane announced to the 4 passengers that both engines have failed, so they needed to jump. Then he took one of the parachute packs and exited the plane...leaving only 3 parachutes behind.
After finding out there were not enough parachutes for everyone one of the passengers said loudly, "I am a doctor who has saved many lives...the world needs me." So he took one of the packs and jumped.
Then another passenger quickly spoke up and said, "I am President elect Donald Trump. I will be the smartest president there ever was...the world needs me too!" So he took another one of the packs and jumped.
The Pope and a teen boy were the only ones left. The plane was going down fast so the Pope said to the boy, "I've done what God has wanted me to do, so I'm ready to meet Him. You have your whole life ahead of you. So I want you to take the last parachute now and jump."
The teen replied, "Oh, thats ok, we can both jump...the smartest president there ever was just took my backpack!"
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Humor
Jan 10, 2017 23:46:31 GMT -5
Annan likes this
Post by dmmichgood on Jan 10, 2017 23:46:31 GMT -5
When it pays to be a witch. Thanks, Annan.
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jigpeter
Junior Member
Hinga dinga durgan
Posts: 188
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Humor
Jan 12, 2017 21:33:53 GMT -5
Post by jigpeter on Jan 12, 2017 21:33:53 GMT -5
If anyone should be in the mood for a bit of a great comedian making religious jokes... (Do be sure to look at his other material as well. It's all funny.)
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Humor
Jan 13, 2017 1:41:39 GMT -5
Post by dmmichgood on Jan 13, 2017 1:41:39 GMT -5
If anyone should be in the mood for a bit of a great comedian making religious jokes... (Do be sure to look at his other material as well. It's all funny.) Thanks!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Humor
Feb 22, 2017 14:44:18 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2017 14:44:18 GMT -5
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Humor
Feb 22, 2017 20:53:22 GMT -5
Post by dmmichgood on Feb 22, 2017 20:53:22 GMT -5
Dave was much more "hilarious"
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Deleted
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Humor
Apr 5, 2017 10:25:48 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2017 10:25:48 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2017 20:18:19 GMT -5
honesty
Yup, some people can’t handle the truth! My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous military person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where the heck I am now…
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Humor
Jul 23, 2017 16:26:40 GMT -5
snow likes this
Post by xna on Jul 23, 2017 16:26:40 GMT -5
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Humor
Sept 8, 2017 23:26:42 GMT -5
snow likes this
Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2017 23:26:42 GMT -5
Catching the bear
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside,
"You skin this one while I go and get another!"
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Humor
Sept 28, 2018 23:49:00 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2018 23:49:00 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Humor
Oct 3, 2018 5:17:30 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2018 5:17:30 GMT -5
Trump said: the only reason to vote for a democrat is because you are tired of winning...
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Post by matisse on Oct 3, 2018 13:17:28 GMT -5
Trump said: the only reason to vote for a democrat is because you are tired of winning... Sadly, y'all are playing 3-card Monte with a con artist. The "winning" comes easy, at first.
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Deleted
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Humor
Oct 3, 2018 17:18:45 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2018 17:18:45 GMT -5
Trump said: the only reason to vote for a democrat is because you are tired of winning... Sadly, y'all are playing 3-card Monte with a con artist. The "winning" comes easy, at first. the only con job i see going on is what the dems have foisted on the american public for 60 years...
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Post by snow on Oct 3, 2018 17:47:35 GMT -5
Why does it seem like Republicans are so against helping out their fellow man/woman? It seems like all they care about is the dollar and how much they can keep to themselves. The Dems fight for healthcare for everyone and the Reps come along and want to dismantle anything that gives someone something. And, they are called the 'Christian right'. How ironic is that!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Humor
Oct 3, 2018 20:27:38 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2018 20:27:38 GMT -5
Why does it seem like Republicans are so against helping out their fellow man/woman? It seems like all they care about is the dollar and how much they can keep to themselves. The Dems fight for healthcare for everyone and the Reps come along and want to dismantle anything that gives someone something. And, they are called the 'Christian right'. How ironic is that! its largely known that republicans/christians donate more to charity than do democrats and thats on top of the money stolen from them through taxation and given to the poor through entitlements. republicans also operate under the principle of "give a man a fish feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for a life time". democrats don't operate that way they just throw other peoples money at the poor and hope for the best. welfare for example(my mom was on it 2-3 years) used to be someone would go on it but then improve themselves until they could go off of it and were under a lot of restrictions. not anymore now people get on it for just about any reason and they stay on it, never improve, never try, have extra children and create a cycle of generations of welfare recipients all the while crying "wheres my money"...
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Post by dmmichgood on Oct 3, 2018 22:24:48 GMT -5
Why does it seem like Republicans are so against helping out their fellow man/woman? It seems like all they care about is the dollar and how much they can keep to themselves. The Dems fight for healthcare for everyone and the Reps come along and want to dismantle anything that gives someone something. And, they are called the 'Christian right'. How ironic is that! its largely known that republicans/christians donate more to charity than do democrats and thats on top of the money stolen from them through taxation and given to the poor through entitlements. republicans also operate under the principle of "give a man a fish feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for a life time". democrats don't operate that way they just throw other peoples money at the poor and hope for the best. welfare for example(my mom was on it 5 years) used to be someone would go on it but then improve themselves until they could go off of it and were under a lot of restrictions. not anymore now people get on it for just about any reason and they stay on it, never improve, never try, have extra children and create a cycle of generations of welfare recipients all the while crying "wheres my money"... Well, I guess your post does belong on the "humor" post.
It must be sarcasm, because none of it is true!
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Humor
Oct 4, 2018 14:03:39 GMT -5
Post by snow on Oct 4, 2018 14:03:39 GMT -5
Why does it seem like Republicans are so against helping out their fellow man/woman? It seems like all they care about is the dollar and how much they can keep to themselves. The Dems fight for healthcare for everyone and the Reps come along and want to dismantle anything that gives someone something. And, they are called the 'Christian right'. How ironic is that! its largely known that republicans/christians donate more to charity than do democrats and thats on top of the money stolen from them through taxation and given to the poor through entitlements. republicans also operate under the principle of "give a man a fish feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for a life time". democrats don't operate that way they just throw other peoples money at the poor and hope for the best. welfare for example(my mom was on it 5 years) used to be someone would go on it but then improve themselves until they could go off of it and were under a lot of restrictions. not anymore now people get on it for just about any reason and they stay on it, never improve, never try, have extra children and create a cycle of generations of welfare recipients all the while crying "wheres my money"... I agree with some of this, we do need some accountability. But to take these programs away is wrong too. There are people that do need these programs. What needs to be done is better screening and monitoring. Not outright cancelling a program. I have a hard time believing that republicans donate more to charity. I also have a hard time believing that Christians donate more to charity. There are those in all these groups that do and some who don't. No group is better than the other just because they are part of the group they affiliate with.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Humor
Oct 4, 2018 15:18:41 GMT -5
snow likes this
Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2018 15:18:41 GMT -5
its largely known that republicans/christians donate more to charity than do democrats and thats on top of the money stolen from them through taxation and given to the poor through entitlements. republicans also operate under the principle of "give a man a fish feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for a life time". democrats don't operate that way they just throw other peoples money at the poor and hope for the best. welfare for example(my mom was on it 5 years) used to be someone would go on it but then improve themselves until they could go off of it and were under a lot of restrictions. not anymore now people get on it for just about any reason and they stay on it, never improve, never try, have extra children and create a cycle of generations of welfare recipients all the while crying "wheres my money"... I agree with some of this, we do need some accountability. But to take these programs away is wrong too. There are people that do need these programs. What needs to be done is better screening and monitoring. Not outright cancelling a program. I have a hard time believing that republicans donate more to charity. I also have a hard time believing that Christians donate more to charity. There are those in all these groups that do and some who don't. No group is better than the other just because they are part of the group they affiliate with. i can't remember a republican ever outright canceling anything i have seen them attempt to slow the expansion of welfare or welfare like programs or add strict requirements to get it...i could be wrong...
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Humor
Oct 5, 2018 6:06:56 GMT -5
via mobile
snow likes this
Post by ellie on Oct 5, 2018 6:06:56 GMT -5
Two Texans park their car at the water's edge. One comments, "Using the carpark and walking is far too much exercise." The other replies "if God wanted us to walk he wouldn't have made our beaches so flat we can drive on them."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Humor
Oct 5, 2018 23:41:50 GMT -5
ellie likes this
Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2018 23:41:50 GMT -5
Two Texans park their car at the water's edge. One comments, "Using the carpark and walking is far too much exercise." The other replies "if God wanted us to walk he wouldn't have made our beaches so flat we can drive on them." reminds me of the old cowboys stories where they often said if it couldn't be done from the back of a horse it didn't get done....
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Deleted
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Humor
Dec 16, 2018 23:28:57 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2018 23:28:57 GMT -5
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Humor
Dec 17, 2018 1:00:37 GMT -5
Post by BobWilliston on Dec 17, 2018 1:00:37 GMT -5
Trump is going to rebuild Wall Street, and China is going to pay for it.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Humor
Dec 17, 2018 1:04:35 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2018 1:04:35 GMT -5
Trump is going to rebuild Wall Street, and China is going to pay for it. well that might be humorous to repubs but if liberals hear that they will start crying and yelling....just sayin'
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