jj
Junior Member
Posts: 94 
|
Post by jj on Mar 13, 2014 8:50:16 GMT -5
-did you dye your hair purple and pierce your nose? -did you get counselling? -did you feel lost? -did your family and friends avoid you? -did you cut your hair? -did you send your meeting clothes to a charity shop? -did you smoke pot for a while (and forget to wash yourself)? -did you try to get others to leave too? -did you feel relief? -did you enjoy not being at conventions and meetings? -did you dump your hymn book in the attic? -did you church hop for a few years? -did you join the Baptists? -did you write an exit letter for your family? -did you go to the cinema? Not sure if it was intended or not but these questions made me smile  I enjoyed reading through the thread. Now the questions... -I used henna on my hair (which by the way is a fantastic conditioner and strengthens hair). I repierced my ears -I did get counselling for social anxiety and mild depression which I believe may have been related -In a way I felt lost, but I also felt very sure and confident in Gods leading, no matter what He would be my help and strength. -My family isn't professing, so they were a wonderful support for me. The true friends I made in the meetings didnt really avoid me, although I did move towns. - I haven't cut my hair much, just trimmed a little as I prefer my hair long as it suits my face shape better. -I have sent most of my meeting clothes to Vinnies, and today I own only one long maxi skirt I bought in France. -I haven't ever smoked pot, but I do now appreciate the very occasional fine wine or pear cider . Certain times I felt down I didn't want to take too much care if myself. -I didn't try to get others to leave as I read a great book about cults and mind control which convinced me that it takes careful thought and planning to help people in those situations -I felt incredible relief -I don't really miss meetings or conventions -I don't use my hymn book anymore. -I haven't church hopped as I just can't bring myself to begin searching again yet. -I didn't have to write an exit letter to my family, as they're not professing but I didn't write one for the friends either. -I don't go to the cinema much anyway, though I do go occasionally. I saw 'Winter's Tale' the other day which I enjoyed. I guess I was living a double life most of the time, since I watched TV at home regularly, wore pants to work etc. It feels good to have done away with all that now. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2014 4:05:11 GMT -5
Who says you have to leave to do all of those things apple?! [br I took all the make up tv radios slacks goodness knows what else to the op shop 5 years ago when we professed and bought us all bibles and bags and hymn book new clothes - lots of meeting clothes concordances all the bells and whistles. We left Last Sept so it all went in the bin and we have bought new clothes slacks, TV , radio makeup first thing I did get my ears pierced and hot pink steaks in my hair. I can't believe my husband hasn't said anything about how much this has cost. Very patient man! |
|
|
|
Post by iam on Feb 19, 2020 15:27:56 GMT -5
There's no need to be so snarky.I want to know how others the exited.I know people did do some of these things.I had to get counselling for it. As for pot smokers every single pot smoker I know is a dirty creature from lack of washing. I found this highly amusing. Ratz snarky? Nooooooooooo never! I actually appreciate that about rat. Seriously. |
|
|
|
Post by iam on Feb 19, 2020 15:29:08 GMT -5
Psalm 119:165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them. But when they offend others....not so peaceful. |
|
|
|
Post by iam on Feb 19, 2020 15:33:39 GMT -5
You forgot to mention the many (f&w) people who believe that Jesus is the Son of God (as opposed to God, the Son). "The Son of God" is not opposed to "God, the Son". All Christians believe that Jesus is both the Son of God and God, the Son. I don't. I'm not a christian then? Probably not in your books. |
|
|
|
Post by ellie on Feb 20, 2020 1:36:42 GMT -5
-did you dye your hair purple and pierce your nose? No and noYesNoMostly noNo I still wear them No and no NoYes and much happinessMostly yes I don't know where it is.NoNoNo, but there was an exit talk and messages to some before the gossip hit. Probably less than before but I did see 2/3 of a movie this week. |
|
|
|
Post by iam on Feb 21, 2020 19:17:56 GMT -5
As for pot smokers every single pot smoker I know is a dirty creature from lack of washingHow many do you know? Just curious as the facts seem to point to us all knowing quite a few pot smokers. How Widespread is Marijuana Abuse?
National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH)***
According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, in 2009, 16.7 million Americans aged 12 or older used marijuana at least once in the month prior to being surveyed, an increase over the rates reported in all years between 2002 and 2008. There was also a significant increase among youth aged 12-17, with current use up from 6.7 percent in 2008 to 7.3 percent in 2009, although this rate is lower than what was reported in 2002 (8.2 percent). Past-month use also increased among those 18-25, from 16.5 percent in 2008 to 18.1 percent in 2009.drugabuse.gov/infofacts/marijuana.htmlNow how many of those were people that had left meetings isn't in the survey, but I am sure that there are some of them.... I've known quite a few personally. Some were those who were dying of cancer and used it to stimulate their appetite. Scott  I bought some for someone that was in very great distress once. So then the person was stoned and that didn't look much better đ |
|
|
|
Post by justificada on Aug 23, 2020 15:03:24 GMT -5
did you dye your hair purple and pierce your nose?
No, I was 40 when I left. I colored my hair later to cover the gray, and I eventually pierced my ears. But I discovered I didnât really like jewelry.
-did you get counselling?
No. The Holy Spirit is my Counselor.
-did you feel lost?
No, I was found because of Christ-centered teaching that I heard on Christian radio and in a community Bible study even before I left; the final exit was a matter of logistics. We had a meeting in our home, so it took awhile to disengage.
-did your family and friends avoid you?
Yes, although a few friends, the ones who really mattered, did not. My family was devastated but did not shun us. We found new friends and a spiritual family in our church.
-did you cut your hair?
Not right away. I didnât leave to be free from outward rules; I left to be free from spiritual bondage. That was my personal experience, which I do not imply is generalizable to othersâ experiences. I was a third-generation truther for 30 years; my grandmother was a worker in Ireland in 1905. I knew the historical origins of the fellowship and had not been exposed to belief in an alternate âfrom the beginningâ story until I moved to a different area of the country. So I have some understanding of how âthe truthâ has changed over the past 100 years, not in terms of an evolution in outward rules but in its doctrinal evolution. I remember my grandfather lamenting in the 1970s, âThe workers have lost their vision.â
-did you send your meeting clothes to a charity shop?
Eventually, but there was no hurry. Outward appearance was not a big issue; my search was for inward peace. I did start wearing womenâs pants regularly in the winter because I lived where they were necessary for warmth. I never wore menâs pants.
-did you smoke pot for a while (and forget to wash yourself)?
No pot smoking. I donât like the feeling of being cognitively impaired and, of course, pot was illegal.
-did you try to get others to leave too?
Absolutely not. We were available for those who sought us out for support in their decision. In fact, we provided refuge for a worker who asked for our help to escape during convention preps, but his family members arrived within 48 hours to rescue him from our âinfluence,â which was nothing more than kindness and compassion for a brother who was clearly under extreme stress.
-did you feel relief?
Yes. Our children were entering their teens, and I wanted them to know and experience Biblical truth about salvation through faith in the sacrificial death and resurrection of Jesus Christ in fellowship with others their age. My grandmother, who, as I said, was among the first workers, taught me this truth when I was a young child. But throughout my later childhood and young adulthood, that truth (for me) became clouded by the teaching of workers whose focus was not on the person of Jesus Christ, that is, on the Word who is God (John 1:1) and who became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14) and who is Himself the Way to the Father (John 14:6). Instead, the focus was increasingly on the meeting structure as a âwayâ or a method of outward practice and conformity rather than an inward spiritual transformation and a new birth by the power of the Holy Spirit through Christâs redeeming blood for the forgiveness of our sins.
-did you enjoy not being at conventions and meetings?
When I was growing up, I looked forward to conventions and special meetings every year. They were the only times that I got to be with friends my own age, so I have fond memories of those times. It was a lonely upbringing. I have been in a Sunday morning meeting twice in the 30 years since I left, and both times I was glad to be there.
-did you dump your hymn book in the attic?
No, I still have it, although I prefer the older version with the hymns I sang as a child. Hymns were sung constantly in my home while I was growing up but were not always from Hymns Old & New. We also sang from Redemption Songs and Rodeheaver. Precious memories! I love all hymns that bring glory to the name of Jesus.
-did you church hop for a few years?
No, we chose a church home within 6 months of leaving. No church is perfect because churches are composed of imperfect people, of which I am one. Only Christ is the perfect sinless Son of God and only His sacrifice can atone for my sin, so He is the one I worship. I finally realized that I did not âmake my choiceâ to follow Christ; He chose me (Ephesians 1:4), a sinner saved by grace (Ephesians 2:8)!
-did you join the Baptists?
I have attended a Baptist church, but I am not oriented to denominational distinctives. My focus is on the person of Jesus Christ, who is the beginning and the end. âMy faith has found a resting place, not in device nor creedâŚIt is enough that Jesus died and that He died for me.â
-did you write an exit letter for your family?
Yes, we did.
-did you go to the cinema?
This has never been a priority because I consider very few movies to be of high quality, nor do most nourish the soul or honor God. I do not like TV (although I own one) and much prefer to read books. I read the Bible through from Genesis to Revelation each year and spend several hours a day in more in-depth Bible study. Thus, I have little time or appetite for TV and its trivialities. I hunger and thirst after the righteousness that is found only in Christ and in His word! Nothing else satisfies. He is my portion and my hope, my all in all, now and for all eternity.
|
|
|
|
Post by enuf on Aug 23, 2020 17:24:40 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing and welcome to the board, justificada.
|
|
|
|
Post by CherieKropp on Aug 25, 2020 9:47:02 GMT -5
justificada Welcome. Good to hear from you. I sent you a private message.
|
|
|
|
Post by Dan on Sept 19, 2020 13:21:57 GMT -5
-did you dye your hair purple and pierce your nose? No most of my hair eventually fell out, so not an issue -did you get counselling? No, stayed in a constant state of confusion for a while. -did you feel lost? No, just a little empty-did your family and friends avoid you? No, if you asked them though, they'd probably say that it was me who left and avoided them. -did you cut your hair? Let it grow instead. -did you send your meeting clothes to a charity shop? No change was necessary for a guy. -did you smoke pot for a while (and forget to wash yourself)? Tried a little grass, but didn't like it, burned my throat. -did you try to get others to leave too? No, it was a personal decision and none of my business, live & let live.-did you feel relief? Somewhat, I had made a decision and was content with it. Probably felt a little guilt though, for letting people down. -did you enjoy not being at conventions and meetings? In a way, going to mtgs was like a job. Stopped learning much and my questions went unanswered. -did you dump your hymn book in the attic? No, its in a cupboard -did you church hop for a few years? No-did you join the Baptists? No-did you write an exit letter for your family? No-did you go to the cinema? Yes, but I did that while still going to mtgs.
Just noticed this older thread...Interesting to see why people left and how they handled it all. I left for several reasons at 19 years old. No one asked if I lost faith or stopped believing, the overwhelming and constant response was, "Get back to Meetings". It almost seemed like a religious requirement, not going to meetings meant no salvation. My parents who were originally upset, ended up leaving themselves about 15 years later. They had wandered into another church (Baptist?) and learned about the trinity. They did write an exit letter explaining it, they had Union Mtg in their home. Still have a couple sisters in the Truth though, both were in the Work and one still is.
|
|
|
|
Post by 1chinesewhispers on Sept 21, 2020 15:25:36 GMT -5
No
No I did not dye my hair or get a tattoo . But did starting year 2000 . Bad ass freedom ! Tattoos and many piercings
No I didnât , I got excommunicated , which worker would have counsel me ? They did try to get me back in the flock about 40 years later . They said they made a mistake . Whatever !
No I felt free . I was free from , the mind and fear control of the workerâs wield
Nope some friends thatâs all
No my hair was always short . I had a hair cut every 3 months . Because I would only allow my dad to brush my hair , while I had a creamsicle in my hand on his knee .
No kept them for events like funeral , anniversaries and such
Yep sure did smoke a
copious amount of weed
I still do ! It is used for 3 health issues . I use it so I can get up and mobile . Had a prescription long before it was legal in Canada đ¨đŚ it was that or 90mg of MAN made morphine per day . It much better to use the CBD THAN 90 mg of morphine a day . I mean like when God created the world there was a reason for that plant .
Side note
*****1 question on here is appalling @ not keeping clean , like really , educate yourself before writing about something you donât know of ........
No I didnât , not my job
No I do , best
excommunication ever
Sure didnât like conventionâs
But my parents had a meeting . Dad asked for me to get up for Sunday morning , so I did . I endured convention as my parents got older and I had to take them . You wanna talk about that shunning
No still right here with my bible , my grandpaâ & grandmaâs bibles as well on my side table . I sometimes play the hymns on my piano
Nope religion is not my choice in life , I am a part of the universe , I whisper into the wind and the universe provides
Bahaha Baptists nope I am sure I would get struck by a lightning bolt
No church shopping đ
No letter required for excommunication ! Pretty sure about that nope , nothing . Might of been the weed . I was to dirty and lazy and never showered , so I was just to stoned to write one
We always went to drive inâs
with dad from 4 years old .
My dad had a defiance disorder but was a elder .
He remained a human , he knew of my struggleâs . It did not ever divide our family even when workerâs said no contact , oh my he to had a defiance disorder â¤ď¸gotta love him đť
|
|
bendle
Junior Member
Posts: 188 
|
Post by bendle on Aug 15, 2021 19:44:16 GMT -5
I left at 19. Didn't change much at all. I still lived at home and my parents made effort to get people whose views and opinions I respected to try to get me to go back to it. I left because I thought that I wasn't satisfied with what I heard or saw in terms of life within the group, but I had no idea what I thought would satisfy me as such so that was a scary thing in itself. There was no massive falling out, some folks avoided me which hurt but some treated me just the same. Looking back I was extremely depressed and had been since about 14 years old, I have in years since been diagnosed with severe depression which I manage with coping strategies mostly and the odd bout of medication.
I felt lost and empty. Went to nightclubs, not really my cup of tea but I went anyway mostly to see what the fuss was about. Did a bit of dancing, did a lot of people watching, refused the drugs I was offered, bought drinks for myself and others and gradually had a little fun and met a few people along the way. Few brief girlfriends, never met anyone I felt like introducing to my family as I couldn't talk about my upbringing at all to anyone.
One day whilst working on a building site I started talking to a carpenter I knew well who knew one of the friends and knew that I knew them. So in a moment of clarity I told him everything he wanted to know and realised that I actually knew very little but that the fact that I had been able to talk about my life etc made opening up to people a less daunting prospect. For a number of reasons I had kept everyone at arms length all through school and college and work up to that point. I moved away to where I live now in an effort to start a new life for myself but realised that I needed help with my mental state. I was advised to look at my upbringing and the church group and to sort out my feelings in respect to that as I was very messed up. I attended a bunch of missions, I got asked to go to conventions, folks treated me like I was back for keeps and it was a matter of time before I signed up. I went to a couple of meetings at West Hanney and staffs conventions but I was mostly just irritated at being there though it was nice to see people I'd not seen in several years. I'm sorry if I misled anyone but I was really just feeling my way to the surface of my life. Something said at West Hanney made me go home and get on the internet and start searching names etc and eventually I found mention of William Irvine and found the various sites that there were at that point but it was a while before it all clicked that what I was reading about was indeed the church group in which I'd been raised.
It was a lightbulb moment when it all clicked into place but it released a few conflicting emotions in me; happy that I now knew the real truth about this thing instead of the half truths and evasions that had been given to me as answers to any questions I had when I was younger, anger about what I'd been through growing up and the lack of validity I felt about those experiences, the scariness of stepping into the unknown yet again. Overall though it was genuinely as if a weight had been taken off my shoulders, I suddenly felt more positive about life ahead and I consider that the point at which I was finally free. I know others won't agree with me, some of you reading this know who I am and some of you will be sad for me but please don't be; I have made my bed as it were and I am happy with that. I wish I got on better with my family though, me not being part of this thing has built a wall between us that I doubt we'll ever break through and I don't even know where to start...
I am basically an atheist I guess, not that I give it that much thought. I am a bunch of atoms clumped together and one day those atoms will no longer be clumped together, such is life. My views and opinions are my own and I am careful not to be too forceful with them and I only comment on that that I have personal experience of.
I have said before, if anyone wants to chat (attendee, ex, wavering, whatever) please please feel free to contact me. I don't know it all or have all the answers but I can listen and am happy to do so. I respect everyone's views so don't think I'm going to try to turn people in one direction or the other, we are all going through life in our own way.
Steve.
|
|
I enjoyed reading through the thread. Now the questions...
