Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2010 3:23:37 GMT -5
Maybe I just ignore the vicious stuff these days! But certainly, one cannot ignore some of the funny things people say!
Most hilarious quote.
Funniest quotes.
Funniest Lloydisms (aka Heal)
Most revealing quote
Unanswered questions
Mine (beliefs) have changed from exclusive to "non-exclusive' (inclusive?) W.Tell
You okay with Mormons and Scientologists?
Is Jim Jones (of the cool aid fame) in God's good book?
When Sunni or Shia kill each other, are they both going to heaven?
You fine with Hindus burning widows? Bert
Funniest winners to date:
• What God has preserved in our Bible hardly compares to what a few people have researched about the church history
• I get frustrated when I hear preachers begging for money to support themselves and the missions abroad
• Newsflash! Jesus was God; the word made flesh. Workers are just, well...workers.
• Workers over here back in the 60's believed they were Jesus in the 20th century. After all, he was only a man....and well...so are we !
• Seems like I remember there is a worker that owns some oil wells in Texas.
• The fact that the original 12 didn't go out 2x2 probably explains why there is no evidence that 2x2 was part of the Acts of the Apostles.
• I submit they (workers) are referring to their choice to be celibate ministers is what gives them their alleged special revelation and authority.
• I would imagine that skipping gospel meetings is sending a pretty strong message to some of the workers. If people aren't willing to go listen to the same ol' same ol', it won't be long before the homes open to them becomes fewer also.
• … facing one's fear with positive views/input is the way to overcome the false guilt that the professing woman's uniform has instilled in many women.
• It seems to me that the friends steer clear of scriptural discussions as they subconsciously realise that they will be out of their depth…
• We have heard different accounts of how dogs wouldn't bark when saints enter the meeting home
• I have personally attended many, hundreds, of gospel meetings where Christ was not mentioned at all.
• I know some women who wouldn’t shave under thair (sic) arms without asking the workers permission first.
• Forcing children to eat is considered part of breaking their wills and teaching them to submit to parental authority. If they refuse or cannot, the workers view it as rebellion.
• They (the women) submit to the men of the group who tend to wear dark-colored clothes and carry black-covered King James Versions of the Bible.
• I think that fear of reprisal is a big reason for the turnout (at convention)
• Wasn't Willie Irvine a coal miner before he found the mother lode in the pockets of his followers?
• Yes, the 2x2's will continue. But in the end.....one will be left, the other taken.
• Workers drown cats.
• The 2x2 copy and paste bible is not in my library anymore.
• The fact is the more I focus on Christ, the less I go to the gospel meetings because I really don't hear about Him there. The more I focus on Jesus the less I want to go to Sunday AM meeting because He isn't the focus He needs to be.
• I suggested (to a worker) that you can never go wrong preaching about salvation. He looked at me like I had 3 eyeballs and said "that's a subject that would REALLY get me in trouble".
• In our town those who had the intention to get baptized used to get a list of do's and don’ts before they qualify
• (re workers) The friend's bedrooms are safer and more comfortable than the ghettos.
• freedom at last..........no workers peeking in the windows at my TV, or novel, or radio, or curling iron, etc
• The 2x2 church which I became a member of was an organisation. It had an HQ and a mailing address and produced a little book of member's names and telephone numbers
• (Workers live with) those who "open their homes", violating the trust, sanctity, sacred intimacy, and the sacred father and the sacred mother figure.
• After much prayer and meditation, it seemed to me that the one doing the baptism was God. The workers simply held my head in the creek
• In the 1960’s or 1970’s the workers initiated the “quietness program” before the start of meetings.
• 70-something years old elder's wife quipped to our overseer, "Oh - pish! Do you think we women can't tell when a man has a hard-on through his jeans? Where is the modesty there?"
• Professing ladies' buns fall down in car accidents.
• Professing people deceive and advocate deceit when they pretend they drink alcohol by carrying round a half empty glass.
• New people coming to gospel meetings who endure off-key mournful singing are hardly going to view that "difference" as Godly, perhaps the opposite
• One person wasn't accepted into the work because of his teeth.
• 84 year old lady upset in confrontation with a worker for having family pictures instead of worker pictures on her piano.
• As a kid it embarrassed me that men carried their bibles and hymn books in handbags to Sunday meetings.
• Some are groomed to be workers because they may not be able to get real jobs or are too ugly to find a mate.
• Workers criticise clergy for wearing clerical garb but we see so many brother workers wearing tight, grey cardigans.
• In the olden days, the workers would have crashed a party on Saturday night.
• Professing boy streaked at the football game
• The workers do not claim to be "penniless." They were to get their money out of the "mouths of the fish they caught."
• I wanted to rip my clothes off and go outside to enjoy the day that God gave than sit in dressy clothes around a dining room table talking about workers.
• These days Workers delay baptising teenagers to show the youth who is boss.
• Workers don’t raise the dead.
• In my 2x2 childhood cracking your knuckles was pure evil.
• A 2x2 child was told that black people are the curse of Ham for looking at Noah
• A Worker or Overseer said some ladies leaving a church wearing pant suits were surely going to hell
• Membership of the 2x2 way has increased only slightly or started to decline because God only requires 144,000 souls.
• Workers have cell phones. Jesus doesn't have a phone. You can just talk right to Him anytime, any place
• Friend was told to pray for his former wife’s death rather than bother the workers with requests to remarry
• If you only need a building just once a year then your church is not very blessed by God.
• In recent times TV is okay by all accounts and watched in holes by workers.
• Professing lady stepped over her husband's body (not professing) to go to Sunday meeting
• Workers prevent people from bursting forth in the Holy Spirit by restricting their time to give testimonies.
Best cognitive dissonance quotes to date:
• The church in the home, and the preacher without a home" is not what saves us. Salvation is knowing God the Father and his son Jesus Christ, hearing and obeying God's word.
• "The true church" is not in the Bible.
• I don't care for Bert's lists very much because it seems like he uses them to degrade people.
• William Irvine founded the F&W's sect upon the Matthew 10 principle. Some other Christian churches are founded upon the chief corner stone, Jesus Christ
• The vast majority of what you see as contradictions are not. They are merely two separate true statements sitting side by side.
• If workers preached Jesus only then it wouldn't matter about the history (of Irvine).
• And there is a lot of bare leg and cleavage. Young women are quite sexy, which I don't think Christians of any denomination would approve of.
• It was Paul and not the BIBLE who said what he said about woman's subjection and several other things related to women.
• It's amazing how many people will try to live solely by the bible, and ignore what's been written on our hearts.
• George Peterson said Mary wrapped Jesus in swaddling clothing to deprive him of his human nature.
• (Regards copying the example of the New Testament church) A copy is a counterfeit. I prefer the real thing.
• (In reply to “Workers often ask the friends to have brief testimonies”) and this is another way workers show they are more important than everyone else because they don't have to condense their thoughts to fit into 1 or 2 minutes.
• There was a high level of sell about going into the work. Single people were targeted with the message of considering the noblest thing in life… To not consider going into the work, if you were young and single, was almost tantamount to going against God's will for your life… A quite subtle recruiting campaign …
• The only way that the worker way cares about the inside of a person is that they have to make themselves meek, child-like, willing, with a soft heart, all of which means being open to conforming to the worker rules and then they call this conforming the work of God on a person's life.
• God does not do religion
• God wants me to look like the world except modest to show a difference by His Spirit, not by outward appearance.
• Just because a pastor gets paid doesn't make him a hireling.
• Workers should never talk about what is wasting time if they are not prepared to offer lots of activities that makes time productive.
• With a Sunday meeting, a Wednesday meeting and two gospel meetings the friends don't have a chance to let the spirit of Christ work.
• I sometimes spoke about my disbelief in the trinity in the meeting. The workers warned me to believe in the trinity or go, so I went.
• Convention buildings and land belong to the workers. But it is not on a deed so therefore there is no tracing of it.
• They are stupid in wanting proof for what is clearly hearsay against them.
• Being ignorant of secret happenings within 2x2ism is a form of evidence there is something secret going on.
• Every member is aware of the suppression system, but part of being 'faithful', is denying that you are aware of it.
• The Bible says few find eternal life and this lead some of the 2x2’s to believe they are in the “narrow way” because they are few in number.
Most revealing quotes to date.
• There are lots of examples of Luke's imagination gone wild, but I confess it's the crazy impossibilities of Acts that taints my view of Luke as much as anything.
• Paul's invention, I think we can agree, was more radical than Irvine's.
• Anything that diminishes love is ungodly and deceitful -- including the hopeless religious attempts of bible-toter's to build and maintain love on the foundation of a marriage certificate
• God in the Old Testament did not have a great track record with the physical side of things.
• Several books of the bible seem to have been written under the influence of some sort of hallucinogenic.
• The flawed premise states that the 1st century church is the perfect pattern which is to be emulated in all details for all time. This is one of the primary fundamentals of the F&W church.
• 2x2's can be as wicked as they want to be when they get on the internet boards and don’t have to show respect.
Most hilarious quote.
… peasants in South America who brought bread in from the fields to meetings, which was far richer and more wholesome than the workers got from their (King James's) bibles. Shona
Funniest quotes.
I want nothing to do with the religion of the Jason/FS tag team. Something gummed up the works in that production machine. Diet Coke
The Bible is full of twosomes, even some of the animals which went into the Ark followed the format. Ram
...The Scriptures do not rule out many things - for instance, the use of marijuana for recreation - ...Sidebar
The main offence people see is the claim that it should "only" be 2 and 2 and that all other ways or forms are wrong. 2 and 2 equals four. God said to go fourth (sic) and multiply (the church). Three and 1 also equals four. So does 1 and one and one an one, or four and nil. RAM
I am sure the apostles would have sat under the teachings in the synagogues, gone to religious schools unlike they do today. Lynnc
The Bible is full of twosomes, even some of the animals which went into the Ark followed the format. Ram
...The Scriptures do not rule out many things - for instance, the use of marijuana for recreation - ...Sidebar
The main offence people see is the claim that it should "only" be 2 and 2 and that all other ways or forms are wrong. 2 and 2 equals four. God said to go fourth (sic) and multiply (the church). Three and 1 also equals four. So does 1 and one and one an one, or four and nil. RAM
I am sure the apostles would have sat under the teachings in the synagogues, gone to religious schools unlike they do today. Lynnc
Funniest Lloydisms (aka Heal)
a persons skin will get dark when tanned this is a no brainer, just like the earth is flat we all know this. Heal
too many folks today will take the gospels and apply them has thou they literally apply today they do not.. they applied for the Jews only regardless of the woman by the well. Heal
too many folks today will take the gospels and apply them has thou they literally apply today they do not.. they applied for the Jews only regardless of the woman by the well. Heal
Most revealing quote
Remember, 2+2 for itinerant missionaries is good practice only. RAM
Isaiah tells us "... there is no beauty in Him that we should desire him. Jesus came as a plain, or even ugly Jew, so that He would appeal only to those who were moved His words. Bert "
ok, that's dumb, Bert. Who wants an ugly Jesus? Dietcoke
Isaiah tells us "... there is no beauty in Him that we should desire him. Jesus came as a plain, or even ugly Jew, so that He would appeal only to those who were moved His words. Bert "
ok, that's dumb, Bert. Who wants an ugly Jesus? Dietcoke
Unanswered questions
Mine (beliefs) have changed from exclusive to "non-exclusive' (inclusive?) W.Tell
You okay with Mormons and Scientologists?
Is Jim Jones (of the cool aid fame) in God's good book?
When Sunni or Shia kill each other, are they both going to heaven?
You fine with Hindus burning widows? Bert
Funniest winners to date:
• What God has preserved in our Bible hardly compares to what a few people have researched about the church history
• I get frustrated when I hear preachers begging for money to support themselves and the missions abroad
• Newsflash! Jesus was God; the word made flesh. Workers are just, well...workers.
• Workers over here back in the 60's believed they were Jesus in the 20th century. After all, he was only a man....and well...so are we !
• Seems like I remember there is a worker that owns some oil wells in Texas.
• The fact that the original 12 didn't go out 2x2 probably explains why there is no evidence that 2x2 was part of the Acts of the Apostles.
• I submit they (workers) are referring to their choice to be celibate ministers is what gives them their alleged special revelation and authority.
• I would imagine that skipping gospel meetings is sending a pretty strong message to some of the workers. If people aren't willing to go listen to the same ol' same ol', it won't be long before the homes open to them becomes fewer also.
• … facing one's fear with positive views/input is the way to overcome the false guilt that the professing woman's uniform has instilled in many women.
• It seems to me that the friends steer clear of scriptural discussions as they subconsciously realise that they will be out of their depth…
• We have heard different accounts of how dogs wouldn't bark when saints enter the meeting home
• I have personally attended many, hundreds, of gospel meetings where Christ was not mentioned at all.
• I know some women who wouldn’t shave under thair (sic) arms without asking the workers permission first.
• Forcing children to eat is considered part of breaking their wills and teaching them to submit to parental authority. If they refuse or cannot, the workers view it as rebellion.
• They (the women) submit to the men of the group who tend to wear dark-colored clothes and carry black-covered King James Versions of the Bible.
• I think that fear of reprisal is a big reason for the turnout (at convention)
• Wasn't Willie Irvine a coal miner before he found the mother lode in the pockets of his followers?
• Yes, the 2x2's will continue. But in the end.....one will be left, the other taken.
• Workers drown cats.
• The 2x2 copy and paste bible is not in my library anymore.
• The fact is the more I focus on Christ, the less I go to the gospel meetings because I really don't hear about Him there. The more I focus on Jesus the less I want to go to Sunday AM meeting because He isn't the focus He needs to be.
• I suggested (to a worker) that you can never go wrong preaching about salvation. He looked at me like I had 3 eyeballs and said "that's a subject that would REALLY get me in trouble".
• In our town those who had the intention to get baptized used to get a list of do's and don’ts before they qualify
• (re workers) The friend's bedrooms are safer and more comfortable than the ghettos.
• freedom at last..........no workers peeking in the windows at my TV, or novel, or radio, or curling iron, etc
• The 2x2 church which I became a member of was an organisation. It had an HQ and a mailing address and produced a little book of member's names and telephone numbers
• (Workers live with) those who "open their homes", violating the trust, sanctity, sacred intimacy, and the sacred father and the sacred mother figure.
• After much prayer and meditation, it seemed to me that the one doing the baptism was God. The workers simply held my head in the creek
• In the 1960’s or 1970’s the workers initiated the “quietness program” before the start of meetings.
• 70-something years old elder's wife quipped to our overseer, "Oh - pish! Do you think we women can't tell when a man has a hard-on through his jeans? Where is the modesty there?"
• Professing ladies' buns fall down in car accidents.
• Professing people deceive and advocate deceit when they pretend they drink alcohol by carrying round a half empty glass.
• New people coming to gospel meetings who endure off-key mournful singing are hardly going to view that "difference" as Godly, perhaps the opposite
• One person wasn't accepted into the work because of his teeth.
• 84 year old lady upset in confrontation with a worker for having family pictures instead of worker pictures on her piano.
• As a kid it embarrassed me that men carried their bibles and hymn books in handbags to Sunday meetings.
• Some are groomed to be workers because they may not be able to get real jobs or are too ugly to find a mate.
• Workers criticise clergy for wearing clerical garb but we see so many brother workers wearing tight, grey cardigans.
• In the olden days, the workers would have crashed a party on Saturday night.
• Professing boy streaked at the football game
• The workers do not claim to be "penniless." They were to get their money out of the "mouths of the fish they caught."
• I wanted to rip my clothes off and go outside to enjoy the day that God gave than sit in dressy clothes around a dining room table talking about workers.
• These days Workers delay baptising teenagers to show the youth who is boss.
• Workers don’t raise the dead.
• In my 2x2 childhood cracking your knuckles was pure evil.
• A 2x2 child was told that black people are the curse of Ham for looking at Noah
• A Worker or Overseer said some ladies leaving a church wearing pant suits were surely going to hell
• Membership of the 2x2 way has increased only slightly or started to decline because God only requires 144,000 souls.
• Workers have cell phones. Jesus doesn't have a phone. You can just talk right to Him anytime, any place
• Friend was told to pray for his former wife’s death rather than bother the workers with requests to remarry
• If you only need a building just once a year then your church is not very blessed by God.
• In recent times TV is okay by all accounts and watched in holes by workers.
• Professing lady stepped over her husband's body (not professing) to go to Sunday meeting
• Workers prevent people from bursting forth in the Holy Spirit by restricting their time to give testimonies.
Best cognitive dissonance quotes to date:
• The church in the home, and the preacher without a home" is not what saves us. Salvation is knowing God the Father and his son Jesus Christ, hearing and obeying God's word.
• "The true church" is not in the Bible.
• I don't care for Bert's lists very much because it seems like he uses them to degrade people.
• William Irvine founded the F&W's sect upon the Matthew 10 principle. Some other Christian churches are founded upon the chief corner stone, Jesus Christ
• The vast majority of what you see as contradictions are not. They are merely two separate true statements sitting side by side.
• If workers preached Jesus only then it wouldn't matter about the history (of Irvine).
• And there is a lot of bare leg and cleavage. Young women are quite sexy, which I don't think Christians of any denomination would approve of.
• It was Paul and not the BIBLE who said what he said about woman's subjection and several other things related to women.
• It's amazing how many people will try to live solely by the bible, and ignore what's been written on our hearts.
• George Peterson said Mary wrapped Jesus in swaddling clothing to deprive him of his human nature.
• (Regards copying the example of the New Testament church) A copy is a counterfeit. I prefer the real thing.
• (In reply to “Workers often ask the friends to have brief testimonies”) and this is another way workers show they are more important than everyone else because they don't have to condense their thoughts to fit into 1 or 2 minutes.
• There was a high level of sell about going into the work. Single people were targeted with the message of considering the noblest thing in life… To not consider going into the work, if you were young and single, was almost tantamount to going against God's will for your life… A quite subtle recruiting campaign …
• The only way that the worker way cares about the inside of a person is that they have to make themselves meek, child-like, willing, with a soft heart, all of which means being open to conforming to the worker rules and then they call this conforming the work of God on a person's life.
• God does not do religion
• God wants me to look like the world except modest to show a difference by His Spirit, not by outward appearance.
• Just because a pastor gets paid doesn't make him a hireling.
• Workers should never talk about what is wasting time if they are not prepared to offer lots of activities that makes time productive.
• With a Sunday meeting, a Wednesday meeting and two gospel meetings the friends don't have a chance to let the spirit of Christ work.
• I sometimes spoke about my disbelief in the trinity in the meeting. The workers warned me to believe in the trinity or go, so I went.
• Convention buildings and land belong to the workers. But it is not on a deed so therefore there is no tracing of it.
• They are stupid in wanting proof for what is clearly hearsay against them.
• Being ignorant of secret happenings within 2x2ism is a form of evidence there is something secret going on.
• Every member is aware of the suppression system, but part of being 'faithful', is denying that you are aware of it.
• The Bible says few find eternal life and this lead some of the 2x2’s to believe they are in the “narrow way” because they are few in number.
Most revealing quotes to date.
• There are lots of examples of Luke's imagination gone wild, but I confess it's the crazy impossibilities of Acts that taints my view of Luke as much as anything.
• Paul's invention, I think we can agree, was more radical than Irvine's.
• Anything that diminishes love is ungodly and deceitful -- including the hopeless religious attempts of bible-toter's to build and maintain love on the foundation of a marriage certificate
• God in the Old Testament did not have a great track record with the physical side of things.
• Several books of the bible seem to have been written under the influence of some sort of hallucinogenic.
• The flawed premise states that the 1st century church is the perfect pattern which is to be emulated in all details for all time. This is one of the primary fundamentals of the F&W church.
• 2x2's can be as wicked as they want to be when they get on the internet boards and don’t have to show respect.