i may actually tell soon
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Post by i may actually tell soon on Nov 15, 2007 0:29:35 GMT -5
Sometimes I think it would be a more productive use of our time if folks here registered and used their actual name. It would make the comments and threads real and possibly lead to some real discussions - I notice a few names - are these real?
I was born and raised and recently left with my wife (also professing) and young kids. I think maybe if i used my name, it would be easier to communicate with others who may have known me or us and may have questions themselves - either here or by email. It may also lend credibility to sharing my own experiences and what I've heard from the platform.
I don't have an agenda - I don't hate professing nor do I aim to drag it down or put others down. We were extremely careful not to talk too much or give reasons when we left that could in any way be constrewed to make others still professing feel like we didn't agree with them or felt they were wrong. In other words, we went as quietly as possible. However, we feel very good about the decision as difficult as it was, and I can't imagine returning. But again, I don't feel the need to make others see things as I do and put the 'truth' down.
Why do I come here? I don't know exactly - I guess the 30,000 foot view is that I'm finding it takes some time to get over and sort through all the issues. Looking for similar experiences, empathy, validation - have others attended other churches after leaving etc.....
So - what are the pros and cons of revealing one's true identity on here?
signed, feeling the need to be open after a lifetime of being open not so much
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Post by eyedeetentee on Nov 15, 2007 0:47:02 GMT -5
Revealing one's identity can lead to stalkers or tattlers. Some people collect information on people and use it against them at a later date even when there doesn't seem to be anything they could use. On the other hand, if you are up front with everything like some are, email address, phone number, snail mail address, etc., there is not much anyone can hold against you especially if everyone knows everything about you anyway. It all depends on how much you trust the internet and those hiding behind it or whether you play ball regardless of the size of the opposing team.
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Post by Scott Ross on Nov 15, 2007 0:57:02 GMT -5
Howdy, If you would like to contact me by email, I can maybe offer some insight concerning your questions. Also you can register under any name you would like, and change it to your real name later if you want to. Basically, most people that would be otherwise open about who they are use an alias because of family who are still professing. They don't want to upset their family in any way. They do so out of respect, rather than for trying to hide who they are. If you register, you can then send PM's (personal messages) to others here on the board who are registered. I've made a lot of great friends that way, and have had a lot of interesting 'off board' chats with a real variety of those who post here. It's very rewarding. Feel free to email me with any questions. bescottross@aol.com Yeah... That's my real name and my real picture. Who would want to pretend to look like that....... Scott
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Post by eyedeetentee on Nov 15, 2007 1:12:20 GMT -5
They don't want to upset their family in any way. They do so out of respect, rather than for trying to hide who they are. If you register, you can then send PM's (personal messages) to others here on the board who are registered. I've made a lot of great friends that way, and have had a lot of interesting 'off board' chats with a real variety of those who post here. It's very rewarding. I'm hiding . . . . . peeeek! So that's why I don't have any friends, great or otherwise. I'm learning. This social stuff is beyond me. So I have to pm people to make friends? Seems like a lot of effort. Guess I'll stay on my side of the fence . . . hiding.
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Post by Gene on Nov 15, 2007 1:15:47 GMT -5
I've always posted here with my real name. No one seems to care, really .... I have not attracted a single stalker!
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Post by Scott Ross on Nov 15, 2007 1:25:28 GMT -5
Yeah Gene.....but who would want to stalk someone who has a Baer with them wherever they go??? Scary!!!! Scott
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Post by wanttobewithGod on Nov 15, 2007 1:45:53 GMT -5
Lol, Scott...and Gene, are you feeling bad? I'll stalk you if you want! ;D I've said my name is Michelle..had my email in my profile..(not sure if it still is), had a whole nice thread all about me!... with tons of info on int about me..and people stilllllllll didn't believe I was/am who I said I was....so, don't worry too much about it, IMO only! M.
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Post by Geoff on Nov 15, 2007 2:52:52 GMT -5
I post under my real name.
No stalking No junk mail problems no identity theft attempts no recriminations no family problems as a result none of the things that people worry about and which in my opinion rarely happen.
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Post by be careful on Nov 15, 2007 7:22:23 GMT -5
If you have friends and family still in, I would recommend extreme caution. Jerry Blue and others are proof that if you cross the wrong person here, you can have a serious problem on your hands.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2007 7:36:51 GMT -5
Isn't it a truism that you haven't made it till you have your own stalker?
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Post by Dont Believe It on Nov 15, 2007 7:58:28 GMT -5
wanttobewithGod- you can't have Gene. Baer has him--unless!!!!!!!!
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Post by Falling Nuts on Nov 15, 2007 8:19:19 GMT -5
I was considering coming out in the open several months ago.
Then a friend of mine, who had posted here for a long time, got into a heated but civil debate with a person here who took issue with my friend's passion and eloquence. This person captured my friend's IP address and traced him to the small town where he lived. Being one of few people in his small community with 2x2 ties, it didn't take much to figure out exactly who he was.
My friend had stopped professing years earlier, which was hard enough on his parents. However, it was even more devastating to them when they received a letter in the mail regarding their son's participation here. The letter accused my friend of "bad-mouthing Truth on anti-Truth internet websites" and included a copy of 44 of my friend's TMB posts (most out of context) on topics like Truth's history, rules in Truth, and pedophile workers.
Bottom line: There are people here who have serious mental issues and in desperation they can be dangerous. Proceed with caution.
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Post by decarg on Nov 15, 2007 9:22:37 GMT -5
I tend to agree with Scott. I don't post too much info based on respect for my family that are still in the "truth". But my issues are "sexual abuse" stuff , not just theology differences so I do proceed with some caution. But it's not the way I prefer to communicate. I'd rather be much more open. I'm praying about that. I have found that when we are totally authentic, God can use us in ways we never even thought possible. Being open, helps others be open, which leads to healing in many ways. Unfortunately, there are others who choose to take personal information and use it against someone.
We were extremely careful not to talk too much or give reasons when we left that could in any way be constrewed to make others still professing feel like we didn't agree with them or felt they were wrong. When I read this statement, I wanted to share that it's OK to not agree and feel that people are wrong. I sense a great deal of guilt here. I could be totally wrong and sorry if I've misspoke, but it is OK to have your own thoughts. SOmetimes people need to hear the WHYS so that the world becomes a better place for everyone. "HEAVEN ON EARTH" as the Lord's Prayer suggests. Peace Everyone!
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Post by gem on Nov 15, 2007 9:35:29 GMT -5
IMO its plain and simple: its the individual's personal choice whether they want to become a registered member or not etc. I do believe there is still freedom of choice in America correct?
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3
Senior Member
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Post by 3 on Nov 15, 2007 9:55:23 GMT -5
Yesterday, I decided to become legit - I registered.
Today, I received my first PM.
I feel welcomed!!!!
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Post by Peacemaker on Nov 15, 2007 11:50:30 GMT -5
IMO its plain and simple: its the individual's personal choice whether they want to become a registered member or not etc. I do believe there is still freedom of choice in America correct? Basically what you have said sounds ok, but you must understand that not everyone on here live in America. Freedom of choice in America does not necessarily mean freedom of choice everywhere.
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Post by gem on Nov 15, 2007 11:57:28 GMT -5
:)Peacemaker...yes not everyone has freedom of choice like we do in America...I wasn't being derogatory when I posted that remark.....I think its very easy for a person to take for granted the freedoms we do have here in the US and I'm afraid I am very guilty of that!...Peacemaker..do you live in the US?
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Post by Peacemaker on Nov 15, 2007 12:15:16 GMT -5
:)Peacemaker...yes not everyone has freedom of choice like we do in America...I wasn't being derogatory when I posted that remark.....I think its very easy for a person to take for granted the freedoms we do have here in the US and I'm afraid I am very guilty of that!...Peacemaker..do you live in the US? No.
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Post by juliette on Nov 15, 2007 15:47:16 GMT -5
When I first started posting, this was all uncharted territory for me. We had just left the fellowship, and I really didn't know how things worked on this board. I was worried about offending or causing problems for friends and family still in the fellowship. So I chose a name like mine, but not exactly.
Now I'm at the place where the person I am on this board is who I am in real life. So I post my e-mail address and often sign my full name. I have had no problems because of this.. no unwanted e-mail, etc. The only strange thing is that when you do a google search on my name, you'll find my school related activities (PTA President), some political stuff, and some interesting posts from this board. So someone from my town or an acquaintance who doesn't know my past association with this fellowship might be a bit taken aback to read some of the things I've posted on this board. I'm suddenly a little worried about when I run for school board some day, people will probably be a little nonplussed when they see my posts about child sex abuse cover ups or other religious opinions.
Oh, well... it's just part of who I am. I like to have my real identity out there because I think it gives credibility to what I say. I also know that people read this board who never post, and if they know me they can put a face to my opinions.
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Post by Gene on Nov 15, 2007 16:32:08 GMT -5
wanttobewithGod- you can't have Gene. Baer has him--unless!!!!!!!! I'll take any stalker I can get, and I do not discriminate based on race, age, sex, religion, creed, familial status, or sexual orientation. Did I leave anyone out?
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Post by stalker person on Nov 15, 2007 16:41:47 GMT -5
wanttobewithGod- you can't have Gene. Baer has him--unless!!!!!!!! I'll take any stalker I can get, and I do not discriminate based on race, age, sex, religion, creed, familial status, or sexual orientation. Did I leave anyone out? WHAT! pray tell are you going to do with them, eh? ;D
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Post by withopeneyes (Mandy) on Nov 15, 2007 22:18:22 GMT -5
It would be nice if we could all feel comfortable using our real names, except for the fact that there are nutjobs on here who do crazy things. I don't mind sane people knowing who I am. I don't mind my professing family and friends knowing I post here. Yes, I posted some angry things when I first left meetings (there were some crazy things going on in this field, so I was pretty P.O.ed)... but I'm much calmer about it all now and more level headed.
I do personally know several people who post here. I feel that if we were able to be open with who we are, that we would probably find we have more in common with each other, professing or not.
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Post by Scott Ross on Nov 15, 2007 23:07:00 GMT -5
(there were some crazy things going on in this field, so I was pretty P.O.ed)..Still is isn't there...... Scott
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Post by withopeneyes (Mandy) on Nov 15, 2007 23:13:42 GMT -5
Yep, but it no longer involves me.
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Post by fissure on Nov 16, 2007 1:10:24 GMT -5
Gene, you left out aliens with no planetary home and members of the Company.
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Post by zzzt on Nov 16, 2007 11:35:05 GMT -5
I'll take any stalker I can get, and I do not discriminate based on race, age, sex, religion, creed, familial status, or sexual orientation. Did I leave anyone out? WHAT! pray tell are you going to do with them, eh? ;D Let yer thinker run amuck and turn the kink to ten!
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Post by bug life on Nov 16, 2007 15:29:27 GMT -5
I post under my real name. No stalking No junk mail problems no identity theft attempts no recriminations no family problems as a result none of the things that people worry about and which in my opinion rarely happen. Geoff, you have a bug in your computer and you are sending it to others. Did you get immigration clearance to send the bug overseas? Please get your computer checked out and remove the bug. For a start I thought I had a bug in my screen, but realised all your posts have it. looks sooooo reallll
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Post by wanttobewithGod on Nov 16, 2007 16:53:16 GMT -5
wanttobewithGod- you can't have Gene. Baer has him--unless!!!!!!!! I'll take any stalker I can get, and I do not discriminate based on race, age, sex, religion, creed, familial status, or sexual orientation. Did I leave anyone out? *rubs hands together in glee* So where are you from, Gene, I mean...exactly? What do you do for a living? Can I call you sometime? You don't think it's weird if I ask you for your phone number, do you? By the way, is there any shrubbery in front of your house for me to hide behind while I'm stalking you? If not, guess I'll have to come up with an alternate plan. *sigh*. Hmmmmm. I'll have to think on it. *goes off to put her "Police" cd on* ;D
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