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Post by Greg on Jul 5, 2015 9:55:16 GMT -5
So, you are at a picnic with 30 or so people and at the end of the day you go home. You look in the mirror and you see a little piece of food attached to one of your front teeth.
...and?
Should you be embarrassed? Should someone have told you? Should you have checked earlier? Should you have eaten that food anyway? Should you have had a picnic anyway? What day did this happen? Sunday? Saturday evening? Who were those people?
Should, from now on, the teaching be: If someone you see has a food particle attached to their body or clothing, just let it be. Say nothing, do nothing. Don't look it at more than you normally would observe the person. Just let it go.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2015 13:40:43 GMT -5
I would privily tell the person and hope someone would do the same for me. Is that not treating others as you would like to be treated?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2015 13:45:32 GMT -5
Greg, I once knew (now long gone) a kindly old man who always carried a small mirror, first pulled it out, made a bit of humor by checking his own teeth, then offering the mirror to the one as you describe. That was how he attempted to deal with that exact scenario. Another always had (for as long as I knew him) a cellophane wrapped toothpick, which he would quietly hand someone else in need of it.
Kind men, both of them. Would be wonderful if a "toothpick" were invented for social gaffs, which I perceive you are attempting to address. Some have no intention at all of addressing such unembarrassingly. And, it depends upon the situation. I knew of a submarine commander (USNR) who exited the men' s room, forgetting to rezip a zipper. One man noticing it in a group of men merely said: "Commander: your zipper is unzipped!" With each of us knowing it could have been ourself standing there,.
The only decent way I know is to take the person asside, tell him privately, which is not easily done in this forum. Thanks for the reminder.
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Post by rational on Jul 6, 2015 9:25:52 GMT -5
Now Dennis you are talking about the past again. If you were a good ex the past would be eradicated from your mind. Just joking of course but according to some on here memories are not good to have. Look forward to hearing more. Can you point out where anyone said memories are not good? I think the point was, and it has been discussed in a number of threads, that ruminating about past wrongs and going over and over them in your head is not healthy. And it does not help the accuracy of one's memory of the event. Of course, some might have felt there were other motivations for bringing up past wrongs. And then there is the danger that recalling and processing historical wrongs over time leads to a distortion of the events. Researchers at Northwestern Medicine published a report in the Journal of Neuroscience, showing that the more often a memory is recalled the less accurate that memory will become. So when people are recalling memories that have been festering in their brain for decades the chances of accuracy is diminished every time the event is recalled.
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Post by rational on Jul 6, 2015 9:34:48 GMT -5
Should, from now on, the teaching be: If someone you see has a food particle attached to their body or clothing, just let it be. Say nothing, do nothing. Don't look it at more than you normally would observe the person. Just let it go. tell them about it. We all eat and we have all, at one time or another, has a bit of food where it should not be. @dennisj option of passing a toothpick is subtle but to the point. However, the probability that I would have a toothpick on my person that anyone would want to use would be close to 0. If having a bit of misplaced food pointed out is going to cause an upset perhaps staying in your house with the blinds drawn is the best option.
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Post by placid-void on Jul 6, 2015 12:10:02 GMT -5
Should, from now on, the teaching be: If someone you see has a food particle attached to their body or clothing, just let it be. Say nothing, do nothing. Don't look it at more than you normally would observe the person. Just let it go. tell them about it. We all eat and we have all, at one time or another, has a bit of food where it should not be. @dennisj option of passing a toothpick is subtle but to the point. However, the probability that I would have a toothpick on my person that anyone would want to use would be close to 0. If having a bit of misplaced food pointed out is going to cause an upset perhaps staying in your house with the blinds drawn is the best option. I agree!
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Post by BobWilliston on Jul 6, 2015 14:56:52 GMT -5
Now Dennis you are talking about the past again. If you were a good ex the past would be eradicated from your mind. Just joking of course but according to some on here memories are not good to have. Look forward to hearing more. It always amazes me, though, that the very people who chastise you for remembering things, will also chastise you for forgetting things they thought you should remember. Such a one I used to know would tell you to forget something, and in the next breath recite: "Forgetfulness is iniquity." You can't win with superhumans.
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Post by Greg on Jul 6, 2015 19:35:36 GMT -5
My original thought was - stemming from real-life and TMB experience - is something can happen or someone can post something and then there can be a variety of answers/solutions, criticisms both positive and negative.
So, I went with something simple and somewhat every day.
Appreciate the responses.
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