|
Post by bitterbetty on Sept 9, 2014 17:38:00 GMT -5
Starting out as a very young, inexperienced nurse, I was thrown into a "Charge Nurse" role before I really was ready. It was sink or swim. I ended up swimming, but sometimes that swimming felt like the most difficult stroke, such as the Butterfly stroke. (I had always naturally favored the breast stroke and it came easy to me.) While some people enjoy being in charge, others don't and only do it because they have to.
We might assume that men tend to favor women who are submissive. I don't think that is entirely true...and while maybe a man might grow weary of a whiny constant complainer, I wonder if they find women who take charge refreshing? I think many men do find that refreshing. But, there are times when it is nice not to be in charge as it can be stressful.
What do all you folks of the TMB think? Is a woman in charge attractive? Or a turn-off?
|
|
|
Post by kurtzphil69 on Sept 9, 2014 17:53:51 GMT -5
I'm going to be very honest here and hope I don't offend anyone while doing that. Some of the most attractive, sexy women I have ever met were take-charge people! It had nothing to do with lingerie, Victoria's Secret, or anything. It had more to do with intelligence, wit, spunk. Of course looks most always play into it. But what is on the inside can somehow make the outside more attractive. There is an old-fashioned notion that a woman who thinks like a man and can take charge somehow loses points in attractiveness. But, I would say there are more men who find a smart pretty woman very fetching moreso than a pretty woman who isn't smart. Does that make sense? For the most part, men grow weary of whiney, dependent, weak women, even if they are good looking. There is a funny thing that happens. A good looking person can become LESS attractive because of their personality. And the opposite is also true. Hope that answers your question and isn't just confusing...... Trust me-there were definitely mixed signals given out by the friends and workers: One signal is that the man is the head of the woman and the leaders of the church. But the other signal is that of sister workers, who are in roles of authority. There were some friends/workers who were supportive of women seeking out a career as a professional and there were friends/workers who were not supportive. Some even frowned on it and believed women belonged in the home as homemakers only. The message was somehow given that one should get married to a professing man and pump out babies and be a wife, mother and homemaker. Go figure that professing girls way out numbered professing guys, which seriously limited a professing girls chance of marrying an insider. There was also this interesting dynamic going on: Professing guys seemed more attracted to 'worldly' girls and un-professing guys like myself was more attracted to wholesome girls.
|
|
|
Post by bubbles on Sept 9, 2014 20:50:52 GMT -5
I have a plaque which reads REAL WOMEN dont have hot flushes they have POWER SURGES.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2014 10:21:54 GMT -5
i believe that the traditional roles of men and women are best and attractive....that doesn't mean women have to be whiney complainers...
|
|
|
Post by kurtzphil69 on Sept 18, 2014 15:00:48 GMT -5
Starting out as a very young, inexperienced nurse, I was thrown into a "Charge Nurse" role before I really was ready. It was sink or swim. I ended up swimming, but sometimes that swimming felt like the most difficult stroke, such as the Butterfly stroke. (I had always naturally favored the breast stroke and it came easy to me.) While some people enjoy being in charge, others don't and only do it because they have to. We might assume that men tend to favor women who are submissive. I don't think that is entirely true...and while maybe a man might grow weary of a whiny constant complainer, I wonder if they find women who take charge refreshing? I think many men do find that refreshing. But, there are times when it is nice not to be in charge as it can be stressful. What do all you folks of the TMB think? Is a woman in charge attractive? Or a turn-off? None of us have really answered your question-Is a woman in charge attractive or a turn-off? Well, for one thing, just because a woman does not work outside the home does not mean she is not 'in charge'. A woman can be very much an in charge person while fulfilling a more traditional role. Also, I hope no one here is implying that a woman in a traditional role is automatically whiny. Some are- some aren't. Some people do not realize how whiny they are really being. It can grow wearisome to listen to a person whine all time or just habitual whining-when they may have it a lot better than a lot of other people. Sometimes they need to have it pointed out to them just how good they really do have it as a person can lose sight of that regardless of what 'role' they might be fulfilling in life. As far as attractiveness goes with a woman in charge-that all depends on the woman and how she is taking charge. People can take more charge of their lives than they realize. Sometimes they feel sort of 'powerless', but I like the thought that people of all types can be empowered in good ways.
|
|
|
Post by bitterbetty on Sept 18, 2014 15:13:02 GMT -5
Starting out as a very young, inexperienced nurse, I was thrown into a "Charge Nurse" role before I really was ready. It was sink or swim. I ended up swimming, but sometimes that swimming felt like the most difficult stroke, such as the Butterfly stroke. (I had always naturally favored the breast stroke and it came easy to me.) While some people enjoy being in charge, others don't and only do it because they have to. We might assume that men tend to favor women who are submissive. I don't think that is entirely true...and while maybe a man might grow weary of a whiny constant complainer, I wonder if they find women who take charge refreshing? I think many men do find that refreshing. But, there are times when it is nice not to be in charge as it can be stressful. What do all you folks of the TMB think? Is a woman in charge attractive? Or a turn-off? None of us have really answered your question-Is a woman in charge attractive or a turn-off? Well, for one thing, just because a woman does not work outside the home does not mean she is not 'in charge'. A woman can be very much an in charge person while fulfilling a more traditional role. Also, I hope no one here is implying that a woman in a traditional role is automatically whiny. Some are- some aren't. Some people do not realize how whiny they are really being. It can grow wearisome to listen to a person whine all time or just habitual whining-when they may have it a lot better than a lot of other people. Sometimes they need to have it pointed out to them just how good they really do have it as a person can lose sight of that regardless of what 'role' they might be fulfilling in life. As far as attractiveness goes with a woman in charge-that all depends on the woman and how she is taking charge. People can take more charge of their lives than they realize. Sometimes they feel sort of 'powerless', but I like the thought that people of all types can be empowered in good ways. I guess attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, just as beauty is...and we can sometimes find extraordinary things even in the ordinary. Is anything really and truly 'ordinary'? In a way, no, not really. Even things like simply ordinary things can bring pleasure and fulfillment. A woman in charge can be very attractive, especially if she is fulfilled and radiates that fulfillment. Many women find all the fulfillment they need in life by being in a traditional role; others are *called* to do more than that. It might seems that some women *do it all*. But no one person can really do it all, realistically, although some are seemingly better at it than others. I think of that saying: "Real women delegate". Delegation is a skill in its own right. I've been blessed by having good role models in this area. Delegation can be done with class and beauty. Being assertive comes to mind here as well. But being truly assertive starts with a person knowing first what it is they really need.
|
|
|
Post by kurtzphil69 on Sept 19, 2014 15:34:06 GMT -5
Many women are born to be leaders. The women are very capable in what they do, good leaders and sometimes better than some of the male counterparts. What makes a good leader? What qualities are in a good leader? It has struck me before that good leaders are not necessarily ones that can -do it all- but are maybe people who know best how to maximize resources. Knowing who/what those resources are-pulling the most out of them-and putting them to the BEST use. A good leader is not just some figurehead who is more concerned with maintaining a cool image-sometimes at the expense of others. [although at times I know we naturally give style points for 'coolness']. They are not primarily concerned with image-more concerned with results. A good leader can be a good role model, certainly. But, they may point to other good role models. The best leaders in Christ POINT to Christ, not to their selves. POINTING to Christ may be more difficult than it sounds. In order to point to someone else, you've got to first get the focus off of yourself. This takes good awareness to start with. [We may not even be aware that too much is being focused on us.] But, then, once we are aware of this -thing- we need to somehow let it go and get the the focus where it should be. Letting go of having the focus on us involves letting go of a certain amount of attention. Have you ever noticed how some people cannot seem to get enough attention. Others seem to somehow naturally thwart attention. I think perhaps this is more of a struggle for some than for others. We all have struggles. While one may struggle in one area, another may seem to breeze right through it. But, remember, everyone has weaknesses and strengths. I really do try not to condemn others for their particular weaknesses-or to change them. Any kind of lasting CHANGE needs to come from within them-I can't force it-but there are times when maybe we can somehow change their thinking in ways that start a cascade of change to occur. I am thinking of constructive ways instead of destructive ways.
|
|
|
Post by What Hat on Sept 19, 2014 16:56:08 GMT -5
Starting out as a very young, inexperienced nurse, I was thrown into a "Charge Nurse" role before I really was ready. It was sink or swim. I ended up swimming, but sometimes that swimming felt like the most difficult stroke, such as the Butterfly stroke. (I had always naturally favored the breast stroke and it came easy to me.) While some people enjoy being in charge, others don't and only do it because they have to. We might assume that men tend to favor women who are submissive. I don't think that is entirely true...and while maybe a man might grow weary of a whiny constant complainer, I wonder if they find women who take charge refreshing? I think many men do find that refreshing. But, there are times when it is nice not to be in charge as it can be stressful. What do all you folks of the TMB think? Is a woman in charge attractive? Or a turn-off? I will say this. A woman who can hold her own is an asset in a marriage in the long run, although she might be a pain at times in the short run. A marriage partnership in which the man expects submission by the woman, is going to be that much the weaker for it; that kind of attitude weakens the success of the partnership financially, emotionally and spiritually. The best marriage partnerships are those where each person learns to play to the strengths of the other. Now that we have observed a number of younger couples starting out, you do so that kind of chemistry, and it's nice. For example, leaving gender out of this, let's say one partner is introverted but good at thinking through decisions. The other is impulsive and extroverted. If the two can rub off on each other a little, they can work as a very effective team. Unfortunately, those differences often cause more heat than light. One other observation is that traditional gender roles can really get in the way of making things work. Today, a lot of couples just do what works. Man stays home with the kids or the woman? Whatever is going to work the best is what you should do.
|
|
|
Post by bitterbetty on Sept 20, 2014 13:28:27 GMT -5
Starting out as a very young, inexperienced nurse, I was thrown into a "Charge Nurse" role before I really was ready. It was sink or swim. I ended up swimming, but sometimes that swimming felt like the most difficult stroke, such as the Butterfly stroke. (I had always naturally favored the breast stroke and it came easy to me.) While some people enjoy being in charge, others don't and only do it because they have to. We might assume that men tend to favor women who are submissive. I don't think that is entirely true...and while maybe a man might grow weary of a whiny constant complainer, I wonder if they find women who take charge refreshing? I think many men do find that refreshing. But, there are times when it is nice not to be in charge as it can be stressful. What do all you folks of the TMB think? Is a woman in charge attractive? Or a turn-off? I will say this. A woman who can hold her own is an asset in a marriage in the long run, although she might be a pain at times in the short run. A marriage partnership in which the man expects submission by the woman, is going to be that much the weaker for it; that kind of attitude weakens the success of the partnership financially, emotionally and spiritually. The best marriage partnerships are those where each person learns to play to the strengths of the other. Now that we have observed a number of younger couples starting out, you do so that kind of chemistry, and it's nice. For example, leaving gender out of this, let's say one partner is introverted but good at thinking through decisions. The other is impulsive and extroverted. If the two can rub off on each other a little, they can work as a very effective team. Unfortunately, those differences often cause more heat than light. One other observation is that traditional gender roles can really get in the way of making things work. Today, a lot of couples just do what works. Man stays home with the kids or the woman? Whatever is going to work the best is what you should do. Thanks for pointing out how differences can either enhance a relationship of be an area of contention. I'm different than some people who love me anyways and I can't figure out sometime why they still love me even though I am so different. I cannot pretend. I cannot pretend to be someone I am not just so people will love me...so, they either love me or they don't, but if they do love me it's because I am myself, not someone I am pretending to be. I am neither introverted nor extroverted. Each of those things seem a little imbalanced to me.
|
|
|
Post by kurtzphil69 on Sept 20, 2014 14:57:20 GMT -5
I will say this. A woman who can hold her own is an asset in a marriage in the long run, although she might be a pain at times in the short run. A marriage partnership in which the man expects submission by the woman, is going to be that much the weaker for it; that kind of attitude weakens the success of the partnership financially, emotionally and spiritually. The best marriage partnerships are those where each person learns to play to the strengths of the other. Now that we have observed a number of younger couples starting out, you do so that kind of chemistry, and it's nice. For example, leaving gender out of this, let's say one partner is introverted but good at thinking through decisions. The other is impulsive and extroverted. If the two can rub off on each other a little, they can work as a very effective team. Unfortunately, those differences often cause more heat than light. One other observation is that traditional gender roles can really get in the way of making things work. Today, a lot of couples just do what works. Man stays home with the kids or the woman? Whatever is going to work the best is what you should do. I heard it said once that an introvert and an extrovert are really not as different as we think. An introvert is an extrovert turned inward and an extrovert is an introvert turned outward.
|
|
|
Post by What Hat on Sept 20, 2014 20:36:16 GMT -5
I will say this. A woman who can hold her own is an asset in a marriage in the long run, although she might be a pain at times in the short run. A marriage partnership in which the man expects submission by the woman, is going to be that much the weaker for it; that kind of attitude weakens the success of the partnership financially, emotionally and spiritually. The best marriage partnerships are those where each person learns to play to the strengths of the other. Now that we have observed a number of younger couples starting out, you do so that kind of chemistry, and it's nice. For example, leaving gender out of this, let's say one partner is introverted but good at thinking through decisions. The other is impulsive and extroverted. If the two can rub off on each other a little, they can work as a very effective team. Unfortunately, those differences often cause more heat than light. One other observation is that traditional gender roles can really get in the way of making things work. Today, a lot of couples just do what works. Man stays home with the kids or the woman? Whatever is going to work the best is what you should do. Thanks for pointing out how differences can either enhance a relationship of be an area of contention. I'm different than some people who love me anyways and I can't figure out sometime why they still love me even though I am so different. I cannot pretend. I cannot pretend to be someone I am not just so people will love me...so, they either love me or they don't, but if they do love me it's because I am myself, not someone I am pretending to be. I am neither introverted nor extroverted. Each of those things seem a little imbalanced to me. That sounds like a nice place to be, bitterbetty. Yes, you'll certainly know if they love the 'real you'. Plus people do appreciate authenticity; they can smell out a phoney. I agree with you about introvert/ extrovert even though I used the words in my example. I think they're overused. Years ago I thought I was an introvert but came to realize I was actually an extrovert with low confidence. Since then the confidence has come up a bit, and now there are even some who claim that I am arrogant.
|
|
|
Post by christiansburg on Sept 22, 2014 8:44:03 GMT -5
Starting out as a very young, inexperienced nurse, I was thrown into a "Charge Nurse" role before I really was ready. It was sink or swim. I ended up swimming, but sometimes that swimming felt like the most difficult stroke, such as the Butterfly stroke. (I had always naturally favored the breast stroke and it came easy to me.) While some people enjoy being in charge, others don't and only do it because they have to. We might assume that men tend to favor women who are submissive. I don't think that is entirely true...and while maybe a man might grow weary of a whiny constant complainer, I wonder if they find women who take charge refreshing? I think many men do find that refreshing. But, there are times when it is nice not to be in charge as it can be stressful. What do all you folks of the TMB think? Is a woman in charge attractive? Or a turn-off? Same as any man. If a woman can do the job without arrogance it is attractive.
|
|