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Post by faune on Jul 25, 2014 12:08:30 GMT -5
I came across this article below while thinking about the benefits of forgiveness and how it can impart numerous blessings to our lives when we learn to forgive completely and just let things go that perplex us and pull us down. Would appreciate your comments regarding this article and any experiences you care to share about how forgiveness has impacted your own life due to another's forgiveness of your actions towards them or how it improved your own outlook from practicing the same? I also would appreciate any comments about how you would interpret what the Bible says about this subject, such as found within Matthew 18:23-35, for starters?
www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18:23-35
www.revelation.co/2011/01/23/forgiveness-what-does-the-bible-say-about-forgiveness-forgiving-others/
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Post by faune on Jul 25, 2014 13:29:10 GMT -5
Whenever I think of forgiveness, I'm often reminded of that urban dictionary meaning for the expression "like a dog with a bone."
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Post by snow on Jul 25, 2014 13:39:52 GMT -5
We have to remember though, that by saying we forgive someone, we are automatically telling them that they have been wrong. That isn't always the case. Sometimes it's just a case of not agreeing. In that case there is nothing to forgive really.
Forgiveness to me is more for 'me'. If I have been hurt by someone's behavior or someones words, it helps me heal, but it's not something I need to tell that person. They likely don't think there was anything to forgive anyway. It's more about me and how I perceive something. Even the rape was more about me healing by forgiving than giving that person forgiveness. They still did something that harmed. That's for them to work out. My job is how I react, my attitude towards what happened.
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Post by faune on Jul 25, 2014 15:10:44 GMT -5
We have to remember though, that by saying we forgive someone, we are automatically telling them that they have been wrong. That isn't always the case. Sometimes it's just a case of not agreeing. In that case there is nothing to forgive really. Forgiveness to me is more for 'me'. If I have been hurt by someone's behavior or someones words, it helps me heal, but it's not something I need to tell that person. They likely don't think there was anything to forgive anyway. It's more about me and how I perceive something. Even the rape was more about me healing by forgiving than giving that person forgiveness. They still did something that harmed. That's for them to work out. My job is how I react, my attitude towards what happened. Snow ~ I agree that forgiveness a number of times is like a gift we give ourselves so as we can heal properly from some hurtful offense. The other person may not be anybody we care to associate with afterward and might be better forgotten? However, forgiveness makes room for us to heal properly from something that could really take us down, if we let it. Choosing a healthy attitude towards the offender seems to go hand in glove with being emotionally restored back to normal. In addition, if that person was somebody who was a friend in the past and we would like to see the relationship restored, than I feel going the extra mile to make amends is probably a good idea, too. The article seems to address quite well areas in which we were criminally harmed and how we need to turn those matters over to the proper authorities to see justice served and to protect others from the same fate, which would a proactive course in such circumstances.
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Post by faune on Jul 25, 2014 15:37:36 GMT -5
Perhaps the hardest part in forgiveness is letting go of those angry feelings and resentments which can increase over time over an injustice, if not dealt with properly. I had a hard time recovering from such a hurt in the past, which not only affected me but our entire family. When people do things that hurt our kids, it's just the mother or father instinct which seems to go into hyper-drive, as we are more likely to strike out in retribution. I can remember it taking time to get over the hurt caused by a stalker of our youngest daughter while in high school, which persisted for over three years. This kid was one of those crazy obsessed teens with a penchant for harassment. However, eventually he did move on to another target and left my daughter alone, but the fear and anger generated by his obsessive behavior was a hard one for me to handle and recover from later on. It took years to recover completely and finally let go of the emotional pain he caused our family and my daughter for a number of years. Unfortunately, civil authorities weren't much help either and the judicial system was a real joke. It was just one of those dark periods within our family when you learn to survive one day at a time and do the best you can to keep afloat and protect those you love from harm.
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Post by faune on Jul 25, 2014 15:59:25 GMT -5
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Post by snow on Jul 25, 2014 16:02:36 GMT -5
Perhaps the hardest part in forgiveness is letting go of those angry feelings and resentments which can increase over time over an injustice, if not dealt with properly. I had a hard time recovering from such a hurt in the past, which not only affected me but our entire family. When people do things that hurt our kids, it's just the mother or father instinct which seems to go into hyper-drive, as we are more likely to strike out in retribution. I can remember it taking time to get over the hurt caused by a stalker of our youngest daughter while in high school, which persisted for over three years. This kid was one of those crazy obsessed teens with a penchant for harassment. However, eventually he did move on to another target and left my daughter alone, but the fear and anger generated by his obsessive behavior was hard one for me to handle and recover from later on. It took years to recover completely and finally let go of the emotional pain he caused our family and my daughter for a number of years. Unfortunately, civil authorities weren't much help either and the judicial system was a real joke. It was just one of those dark periods within our family when you learn to survive one day at a time and do the best you can to keep afloat and protect those you love from harm.
Definitely. I have a much harder time letting go when it is someone else that is being hurt. Me, it's not as hard. I know how I feel, how much it hurt etc. and I can know I'm okay. With someone else, especially some one I love you can't know how badly impacted they are and so it's much harder for me to forgive when someone else is hurt or hurting. That would have been a very scary time faune. I went through a few months of that with my daughter, but 3 years would have been very difficult. I'm glad it resolved itself without more harm coming to her.
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Post by faune on Jul 25, 2014 16:15:38 GMT -5
Perhaps the hardest part in forgiveness is letting go of those angry feelings and resentments which can increase over time over an injustice, if not dealt with properly. I had a hard time recovering from such a hurt in the past, which not only affected me but our entire family. When people do things that hurt our kids, it's just the mother or father instinct which seems to go into hyper-drive, as we are more likely to strike out in retribution. I can remember it taking time to get over the hurt caused by a stalker of our youngest daughter while in high school, which persisted for over three years. This kid was one of those crazy obsessed teens with a penchant for harassment. However, eventually he did move on to another target and left my daughter alone, but the fear and anger generated by his obsessive behavior was hard one for me to handle and recover from later on. It took years to recover completely and finally let go of the emotional pain he caused our family and my daughter for a number of years. Unfortunately, civil authorities weren't much help either and the judicial system was a real joke. It was just one of those dark periods within our family when you learn to survive one day at a time and do the best you can to keep afloat and protect those you love from harm.
Definitely. I have a much harder time letting go when it is someone else that is being hurt. Me, it's not as hard. I know how I feel, how much it hurt etc. and I can know I'm okay. With someone else, especially some one I love you can't know how badly impacted they are and so it's much harder for me to forgive when someone else is hurt or hurting. That would have been a very scary time faune. I went through a few months of that with my daughter, but 3 years would have been very difficult. I'm glad it resolved itself without more harm coming to her. Snow ~ It definitely gave me a few gray hairs from worrying over my daughter's safety every day at school or home while I was at work. This kid just wouldn't quit and he was very devious. He eventually did end up behind bars for a number of years for a number of crimes related to drugs. His tactics of harassment definitely wore me down over the years, but I eventually learned to turn my fears and concerns over to God and trust Him to protect my family. It was around this time that the kid just lost interest in my daughter as his target and he moved on to another gal whose life he also made miserable. He was definitely a sociopath that didn't seem to have a conscience when it came to terrorizing others. I was glad to see him put behind bars where he couldn't hurt anybody and was out of circulation for a number of years.
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Post by sharingtheriches on Jul 25, 2014 17:05:03 GMT -5
[/font] Forgiving and letting go can be very difficult challenges, but it’s even more stressful to hold on to grudges. There are several symbolic letting-go rituals that can help with the process. If you are having trouble forgiving someone else, write them a letter expressing all of your feelings and explaining why you need to let go. You don’t need to mail that letter — it is cathartic just to write it all down. You can also write down all of your excess “baggage” on a piece of paper and burn it or cast it into the sea in a bottle when you are ready to really let go. [/quote]
[/p][/quote] Some people think that when you forgive them that you are forgetting! This is not so. When someone has hurt another enough that it brings about hurt and betrayal....then forgetting is apt to be the last thing that ever happens and like all humans, this is apt to come back up when other future betrayals or adverse actions between the same parties happen again...... When one is completely undone by someone else for their own reasons, then forgiving is extremely hard BECAUSE forgetting is impossible....so I can see where some would feel that IF forgiveness is truly there then forgetting will also be there!
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Post by sharingtheriches on Jul 25, 2014 17:11:20 GMT -5
I've tried twice to correct that post of mine above...and it doesn't correct...sorry Faune!
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Post by faune on Jul 25, 2014 18:28:53 GMT -5
Sharingtheriches ~ I agree that forgiveness doesn't mean you also forget the offense that caused you or somebody dear to you a lot of grief and pain. It does mean that you release these feelings to a Higher Power and let them go and move on with the rest of your life. It's like surrendering the dead albatross around your neck or excess emotional baggage and replacing it with something that uplifts and edifies and doesn't harm your psyche ~ namely release through forgiveness. When somebody has been a dangerous element in your life, you don't exactly want to reconcile with them as with a friend. Instead you release the weight they have been upon your psyche by releasing the negative energy and moving on from there. Whatever means it takes to do this is worth the effort, whether it be through counseling, prayer, or meditation.
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