Post by mod3 on Apr 28, 2010 13:47:34 GMT -5
Selections from a thread on the main board.
f&w = friends and workers
That said, here's a few things I have encountered over the years that are less connected to exclusivity:
1. A faith move to agnosticism or atheism.
2. Find meetings plain unsatisfying.....too superficial, too boring, too meaningless, too limited, etc.
3. Too much of a time commitment. 3 half days/week is simply more than some people want to commit to a fellowship meeting system. Add convention and special mtgs and it gets heavy for some people.
4. Doctrine: lack of clarity, lack of cohesion, doesn't make sense, plain foolish on some things.
5. Personality clashes.
6. Participation. Some people really don't like trying to express themselves at all or in a limited way in the meetings, ie either shyness makes participation too much, or extroversion makes meetings too limiting.
I'm sure there's many more but none of the 6 above would be reason to amount to anything but a small minority of people leaving.
*unrealistic expectations
* loss of the initial "vision" of a community striving for perfection, (only some do this)
* loss of dedication, perseverance and enthusiasm
* experiences that make it very hard to continue to believe that the people in this way are at all different to some other committed christian groups
* discouragement because of excessive restrictions imposed ( particularly for women and girls)
* disenchantment when, after travelling to other countries the vast differences in policy regarding certain issues, becomes clear
* shock and disillusion because of some of the revelations regarding the beginning of the movement
* lack of confidence in ministers who approve of a watered down philosophy after so many have suffered and persevered in upholding previous teachings
* general confusion
* unwillingness to believe/ obey certain aspects of dogma particularly ones that Jesus never mentioned
* intolerance of established members for fresh views on restrictions
* unwillingness to shun those that other members shun
* favoritism and discrimination
* differing views on issues such as D&R
When I started to wander (in my mind--while still attending the meetings) I felt the lack of love, compassion and care.
For a brief while I was angry---I think I went through a grieving process and anger is just part of that. I have gotten through that and am at a place where I don't have any hard feelings toward anyone.
Interesting Kiwi. I never ever lost my love for the fellowship. I have many friends who are professing. I even pop over and visit my elder from time to time. I did however, quit believing that fellowship was equal to salvation some time ago. I left not because I quit loving meetings or those in it, but because I viewed my attendance in meetings as accepting all being said there. I no longer held the view meetings were essential to salvation. Rather than wait for things to change I voted with my feet.
And some go to join a more strict church.....I've known of cases like that with the F&Ws not being considered moral enough.
f&w = friends and workers
Apr 17, 2010 8:44:14 GMT -5 @clearday said:
The issue of staying or leaving can never be discussed without including the mammoth impact of exclusivism on individual lives. It is so pervasive that it has a role, either primary or secondary, in a significant majority of church problems that cause people to leave. That said, here's a few things I have encountered over the years that are less connected to exclusivity:
1. A faith move to agnosticism or atheism.
2. Find meetings plain unsatisfying.....too superficial, too boring, too meaningless, too limited, etc.
3. Too much of a time commitment. 3 half days/week is simply more than some people want to commit to a fellowship meeting system. Add convention and special mtgs and it gets heavy for some people.
4. Doctrine: lack of clarity, lack of cohesion, doesn't make sense, plain foolish on some things.
5. Personality clashes.
6. Participation. Some people really don't like trying to express themselves at all or in a limited way in the meetings, ie either shyness makes participation too much, or extroversion makes meetings too limiting.
I'm sure there's many more but none of the 6 above would be reason to amount to anything but a small minority of people leaving.
Reasons why some people have left the fellowship include:
*unrealistic expectations
* loss of the initial "vision" of a community striving for perfection, (only some do this)
* loss of dedication, perseverance and enthusiasm
* experiences that make it very hard to continue to believe that the people in this way are at all different to some other committed christian groups
* discouragement because of excessive restrictions imposed ( particularly for women and girls)
* disenchantment when, after travelling to other countries the vast differences in policy regarding certain issues, becomes clear
* shock and disillusion because of some of the revelations regarding the beginning of the movement
* lack of confidence in ministers who approve of a watered down philosophy after so many have suffered and persevered in upholding previous teachings
* general confusion
* unwillingness to believe/ obey certain aspects of dogma particularly ones that Jesus never mentioned
* intolerance of established members for fresh views on restrictions
* unwillingness to shun those that other members shun
* favoritism and discrimination
* differing views on issues such as D&R
I left because I wasn't being fed. When sheep are fed--they will not wander looking for greener pastures.
When I started to wander (in my mind--while still attending the meetings) I felt the lack of love, compassion and care.
For a brief while I was angry---I think I went through a grieving process and anger is just part of that. I have gotten through that and am at a place where I don't have any hard feelings toward anyone.
If one is really and truly honest it comes down to losing love for it and all else is just excuse to ease the conscience.
Interesting Kiwi. I never ever lost my love for the fellowship. I have many friends who are professing. I even pop over and visit my elder from time to time. I did however, quit believing that fellowship was equal to salvation some time ago. I left not because I quit loving meetings or those in it, but because I viewed my attendance in meetings as accepting all being said there. I no longer held the view meetings were essential to salvation. Rather than wait for things to change I voted with my feet.
Apr 18, 2010 19:26:51 GMT -5 @clearday said:
Not everyone who leaves does so for spiritual reasons. Some just get tired of rules and find a church that is less strict, while others don't bother joining any new church.
And some go to join a more strict church.....I've known of cases like that with the F&Ws not being considered moral enough.